Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: professor x

As Mentioned in Episode 180 – Lawful Badass

3 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
What you see is pretty much what you get. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
Cybernetic fuckboys. Don’t worry, they’re all going to die soon. For now. Mostly. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
That is… certainly some dialogue, there. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
And that’s why she’s the boss. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
“We eat dinner naked. It’s very sexy. And then we do the sexy dishes, sexily.” (Uncanny X-Men #281)
Oh, no! Not Bevatron! (Uncanny X-Men #281)
If you had told me a year ago that there was armor worse than Cameron Hodge’s ruby quartz armor, I would not have believed you. Mea culpa. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
Oh, no, not again. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
OH HELL YES. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
Professor X is kind of a sore winner. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
And then, suddenly, Storm was telekinetic. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
That’s gotta sting. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
“But first, The Very Hungry Caterpillar.” (Uncanny X-Men #282)
Earth-1191 is AMAZING. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
I really want to know if all these criminals dressed up special for the occasion, or if this is just what everyone hangs out looking like in the future. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
ABOUT DAMN TIME. (See what I did, there?) (Uncanny X-Men #282)
“Ha, ha!” (Uncanny X-Men #283)
Aw, this kid. (Uncanny X-Men #283)
“I’m going to the comics shop to cancel my subscription RIGHT NOW!” (Uncanny X-Men #283)
Bishop, I know you come from a difficult timeline, but even you have to appreciate how rad that Walt Simonson Archangel design is. (Uncanny X-Men #283)
Are… Iceman and Colossus levitating? (Uncanny X-Men #283)
This is why we–or at least the Upstarts–can’t have nice things. (Uncanny X-Men #283)
NEXT EPISODE: Guns ‘n’ Pouches!

FURTHER READING, WATCHING, & LISTENING:

180 – Lawful Badass

59 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay is deeply invested in The Gifted; Trevor Fitzroy is generally inexcusable; there are a lot of reasons to be uncomfortable in the Hellfire Club; the mix just got altered in this little clambake; Jean Grey (kind of) dies (again); Earth-1191 gives the Age of Apocalypse some glam competition; Lucas Bishop is a pretty decent metaphor for fan culture; everyone is probably Kang the Conqueror; and now Miles really has no excuse for not watching The Prisoner.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Chronomancer and his Chronobots
  • The Gifted
  • Lucas Bishop’s creative origins
  • Trevor Fitzroy
  • Goatee Theory
  • X-Factor #67
  • Uncanny X-Men #281-283
  • Dapper Lesbian Shinobi Shaw
  • A briefly useful mnemonic
  • Cybernetic fuckboys
  • The return of Warren Kenneth Worthington III’s hair
  • Beef and Bevatron
  • The deaths of the Hellions
  • Warhammer
  • Some of the challenges of X-Plaining the ’90s
  • Bringing a knife to a Sentinel fight
  • Bantam
  • A bunch of bad guys from the future
  • Bishop
  • Randall
  • Malcolm
  • Earth-1191
  • The Gamemaster
  • X-Men we’d like to see come out as trans (revisited)
  • Whether either or both of us are Kang the Conquerer

NEXT EPISODE: Pouches and Guns

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 178 – Giant-Size Special #6

2 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
The All-New, All-Yelling X-Men! (X-Men #1)
Say what you want about Jim Lee’s art, but his Magneto is GREAT. (X-Men #1)
You’d think S.H.I.E.L.D. would pay Nick Fury enough to buy a suit that fits. (X-Men #1)
Fun fact: almost every spot illustration of an X-Man that you’ve ever seen comes from this or the following issue. (X-Men #1)
We are worried about Psylocke. (X-Men #1)
CORRECTION: Gambit did not kiss Jean. He kissed a robot replica of Jean, which then exploded. We regret the error, but Gambit probably regrets it more. (X-Men #1)
LOOK AT THIS FASHION GOD. (X-Men #1)
“Also, one of them has an underscore in his Twitter handle.” (X-Men #1)
Magneto, master of text. (X-Men #1)
Another image from early in Lee’s tenure that shows up a lot in other publications. (X-Men #2)
Okay, NOW we get it: Nick Fury spent his entire suit budget on pouches. (X-Men #2)
Never not hilarious. (X-Men #2)
We’re just gonna let this page speak for itself. (X-Men #3)
Raise a glass. (X-Men #3)
NEXT EPISODE: Havok gets a job.

OUR PRODUCER MATT HUNTER IS A SUPER RAD DUDE! HERE IS WHERE YOU CAN FIND HIM ON THE INTERNET:


THE 2017 SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE AT X-CELLENCE:

  • Best Writer: Charles Soule, for Astonishing X-Men
  • Best Artist: Alessandro Vitti, for Iceman
  • Best Colorist: Felipe Sobreiro, for Generation X
  • Best Ongoing Solo Series: Iceman
  • Best Ongoing Team Series: Generation X
  • Irene Adler Memorial Award for Most Anticipated Upcoming Series: Storm, by Ta Nehisi Coates and Jen Bartel
  • How-Was-This-So-Good? Award for a Premise That Shouldn’t Have Worked But Did: “Weapons of Mutant Destruction” by Greg Pak
  • Cyclops Has A Good Day: Champions #12, for good friends being good friends.
  • So That Happened: Last page of Jean Grey #10
  • Nate Grey Award for Best Cross-Dimensional Import: Bloodstorm in X-Men: Blue
  • Coming Back Strong: Hope Summers in Jean Grey
  • Norman Osborne Award for Gratuitous Resurrection: Logan
  • Light of Our Life: Honey Badger
  • These Deep Cuts Form a Picture: Gifted
  • Best Non-X Marvel Title: Runaways by Rainbow Rowell and Kris Anka

Classic Corbeaus

  • Buried Treasure: “Weapon X,” as published in Marvel Comics Presents
  • You Tried: Chris Claremont, circa 1991
  • Why Havok Didn’t Finish His Dissertation This Year: He was busy being Magistrate on Genosha
  • Object Permanence Is Overrated Award for Inconsistent Corporeality: Amanda Sefton
  • Murder Rainbow Award for Most Entertainingly and Chromatically Redesigned Costumes: Late-run New Mutants
  • Lurking in the Wings Award: Guido Carosella
  • Sauron’s Jorts Award for Draculas Who Are Not Draculas but Try Real Hard: Crimson and the Blackbirds
  • Let Us Never Speak of This Again: Charles Xavier’s swimsuit area as distressingly rendered by Whilce Portacio
  • Major Christopher Summers Award for Most Awkward Family Reunion: Rachel Summers and Jean Grey in “Days of Future Present”
  • Kitty Pryde Sartorial Exception of Excellence: The Rocketeer ensemble from X-Men: True Friends
  • On-the-Nose Award for Effective Use of Heavy-Handed Metaphor: Genosha
  • Best Jacket Ever Award: Cyclops in X-Factor Forever
  • Erik the Red Award for Justifying the Existence of This Podcast: Jen Askani
  • Future Past Award for Most Anticipated Upcoming Series Coverage: X-Factor

AND FINALLY:

  • Best Listeners of Any Podcast, Ever: YOU. Extra hard, this year.

178 – Giant-Size Special #6

78 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we enter a new era of X-Men; Magneto reluctantly returns to villainy; Jay tries to like X-Men volume 2; when in doubt, you should open your story with a space fight; Nick Fury has so many pouches; experimenting on babies unsurprisingly backfires; psychic powers are pink; Claremont deserved better; Producer Matt makes his on-air debut; and you (yes, you!) are once again the recipients of a Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Award for Excellence in X-Cellence.

X-PLAINED:

  • Loa
  • The 1991 relaunch of X-Men
  • X-Men vol. 2 #1-3
  • Chris Claremont’s departure from Marvel
  • X-Men vs. Uncanny X-Men
  • Blue Team
  • Gold Team
  • Why Magneto is emblematic of Claremont’s vision for the X-Men
  • Why there are so many copies of X-Men #1
  • How comics sales are counted
  • Our very different perspectives on X-Men #1
  • A space fight
  • Revision vs. reversion
  • What may or may not be in Nick Fury’s pouches
  • Daring loungewear worn well
  • Fabian Cortez
  • Flatscans
  • Disproportionate escalation
  • The Acolytes
  • Delgado, kind of, maybe
  • Several notable absences
  • The Magneto Protocols
  • That one time Magneto got turned into a baby
  • Some dubious science
  • A semi-invisible plane
  • Code Silver
  • Further miracles of magnetism
  • Producer Matt Hunter
  • Chiptunes
  • Podcasting about video games
  • The Fourth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
  • Best X-Toon holiday episodes

NEXT EPISODE: Havok gets a job!

Special thanks to Cordelia for her help on the episode opening!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 177 – The Less You Know

3 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Luckily for Terrence, the actual X-Men were ALSO lurking by the playground! (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)
“Look, to be honest, several of us are DEFINITELY not trustworthy.” (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)
“Also, would you say that your kidneys are in good condition?” (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)
BEAST, NO. (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)
Gambit is definitely the Least Safe X-Man. (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)
So, that’s a thing that exists. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
Circle of Death time is the best time! (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
Evolution in action. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
I absolutely do not believe that you did not see anyone unusual at a state fair. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
They’re so bad at not being menacing. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
“He sees you forever and ever, Alan!” (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
This panel is amazing. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
“Let us never speak of today again.” (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
The contents of one of the greatest minds on Earth. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
This is a fundamentally self-defeating activity page, and also a really boring connect-the-dots puzzle. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
Let’s just assume that it’s a slow news day. (Smokescreen)
Centaur? Immortal Iron Fist? WHY NOT BOTH? (Smokescreen)
Kids can’t resist a plaid vest. (Smokescreen)
“So… what you’re basically saying is that he’s a teenager?” (Smokescreen)
She still gets taken out like a chump, though. (Smokescreen)
“Hey, wanna see some of his shrink’s notes, while we’re grossly violating his privacy?” (Smokescreen)
MARK TRAIL, NO! (Smokescreen)
oh my god look at this asshole (Smokescreen)
“Tell me, Bret, how much do you know about the migratory patterns of mallard ducks?” (Smokescreen)
That is certainly one way to do a thing. (Smokescreen)
NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special!

FURTHER READING:

  • We don’t know for sure that The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas was heavily influenced by Peter Shaffer’s Equus; but we also don’t know that it wasn’t.

177 – The Less You Know

36 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we discuss several Very Special Issues; the real cautionary tale is not to trust Hank McCoy; horses are vehicles of lies and heartbreak; the X-Men shill for a state fair; whatever you’re doing, Cyclops is here to stop you; smoking is a gateway to some really weird vices; and we want YOU to design the latest X-Men PSA!

X-PLAINED:

  • The alternate-timeline terrible choices of Hank McCoy
  • Our wholly unfounded theories about Spongebob Squarepants
  • Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men
  • VHS tapes
  • Blockbuster KidPrint
  • Mariano Nicieza
  • Some Fundamental Problems With Superhero PSAs
  • A man who may or may not be D-Man
  • Terrence
  • Why Cable should deliver more PSAs
  • Why D.A.R.E. doesn’t work
  • Varying coherent cautionary tales
  • The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas
  • A tragic lack of carnies
  • Danny the centaur and his very intense feelings about horses
  • Several exciting attractions at the State Fair of Texas
  • Big Tex
  • Activities
  • Smokescreen
  • Bret Jackson
  • Some of the lesser-known danger of smoking
  • Whether Danny Rand can turn into a centaur
  • Hanging out and other gateways to delinquency
  • The South Side Social Club
  • Jake
  • Etiquette of following teenagers around
  • A villainous plan so ineffective that it’s actually kind of sad
  • X-Men you should hire for your PSAs
  • Our thoughts on the Disney/Fox merger
  • Where to find Bloodstorm
  • Baby Jumping

NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special!

LISTENER CHALLENGE: Send your X-Men PSAs to [email protected] with the subject PSA by December 27!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

173 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 2

43 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Abs-lantis will not be denied; “slightly traumatized” is basically the default state of Xavier’s original students; we pick up the slack for Nicieza; Banshee and Moira MacTaggert probably have an active and varied love life; Xavier miscounts the X-Men; we look back over the Claremont/Simonson era of the X-Universe; and Jay makes a case for the re-resurrection of Jean Grey.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Men: Red
  • Namor’s beard
  • The conclusion of the Muir Island Saga
  • Uncanny X-Men #280
  • X-Factor #70.
  • Cool orange spacesuits that make you immune to telepathy
  • Off-brand Magneto hats
  • Literary terrors of our childhoods
  • Agents DeMarco & Heacock (R.I.P.)
  • Casual use of nuclear weaponry
  • The cavalry
  • The end of the Shadow King
  • The most dysfunctional timeline
  • Uncanny X-Men #200-278
  • The case for an eclectic X-Universe
  • X-Campus
  • Resurrections, and when they do and don’t work

NEXT EPISODE: Ed Piskor’s Grand Design

The visual companion to this episode will be up sometime before the end of 2017, by which point Jay’s lungs will hopefully be working again. Yay?

(Seriously, though, fuck this cold. Fuck this cold so much.)

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 172 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 1

One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
But what if his dialogue also had its OWN tiny captions? (Uncanny X-Men #278)
“And that one dude from Final Fight will help me!” (Uncanny X-Men #278)
But whom could this mysterious stranger be? (Uncanny X-Men #278)
LOOK AT THIS EVIL FASHION QUEEN (Uncanny X-Men #278)
There is nothing okay happening here. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
Here, on the other hand, everything is beautiful and nothing hurts. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
That’s not… I mean… you know what? Never mind. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Uncanny X-Men #278)
Honestly, there are so many answers to that question. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
His other power is flashbacks. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
And with that, Chris Claremont flew off into space, to explore new horizons. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Say what you want about her morals; Evil Rogue has a pretty rad costume. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
OH, HELL, YEAH! (Uncanny X-Men #279)
X-Factor’s New Wave era was brief but distinctive. (X-Factor #69)
It really never gets any more okay, does it? (No.) (X-Factor #69)
Why does Reisz suddenly have red hair? WHO KNOWS? IT’S A MYSTERY! (X-Factor #69)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (X-Factor #69)
The Art of War involves some remarkably specific ruminations on spandex. (X-Factor #69)
Wait for it… (X-Factor #69)
YES! (X-Factor #69)
Also 2017 in a nutshell. (X-Factor #69)
WELL, THAT CAN’T BE GOOD. (X-Factor #69)
NEXT EPISODE: Don’t smoke, kids. (Also, the Muir Island Saga concludes.)

LINKS & FURTHER READING

 

172 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 1

48 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which you are probably more familiar with this show than Jay and Miles are; Paul Smith makes good art; the Shadow King is so extra that his narration has its own narration; Evil Sexy Moira is a fashion queen; there are absolutely no circumstances in which it is appropriate to use the phrase “fist-o-rama”; Legion gets possessed; and we know absolutely nothing about Pokémon.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • Universes where people are other people
  • What Miles thought of Thor: Ragnorok (spoiler-free)
  • The Muir Island Saga (Part 1)
  • Uncanny X-Men #278-279
  • X-Factor #69
  • Teflon continuity
  • Our (lack of) favorite episodes of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
  • The Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men wiki
  • An alternate timeline
  • Corpse telepathy
  • A diabolical plan, sort of
  • Topicality
  • Theft
  • Sci-Fi Warlord Moira MacTaggert
  • Improbable aerodynamics
  • The greatest thing
  • The death of Peter Nicholas
  • The uncanny genital valley
  • Interesting ways to expand Cyclops’s powers
  • X-Pokémon

NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga concludes!

ART CHALLENGE: Send us your horrifying X-Pokémon! (Note: We were not kidding when we said that we know absolutely nothing about Pokémon, which means that we will probably believe anything you tell us about canon. Have fun!)

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 165 – Pop Rocks

5 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Triple gatefold? That’s a lot of gatefold! (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Oh, man, the Starjammers are so cool, even when they’re evil alien duplicates. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
And that was the end of Wolverine, forever. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Not gonna lie: there are a LOT of splash pages and spreads in this visual companion. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
So many reasons, Banshee. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
I mean, technically Wolverine just won back her throne, but, whatever. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Look at all those fancy X-Men! (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Wolverine parties like a Robert E. Howard protagonist. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
I know this is supposed to be sinister, but it’s also kind of hilarious. (You gotta imagine the YOINK SFX in the second panel.) (Uncanny X-Men #275)
PROFESSOR XAVIER IS A JERK! (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Another two-page spread? DON’T MIND IF I DO! (Uncanny X-Men #276)
Pop rocks! (Uncanny X-Men #276)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Uncanny X-Men #276)
I want to watch this movie. (Uncanny X-Men #276)
No, but seriously: Professor Xavier is a jerk. (Uncanny X-Men #276)
Well, that got weird. Weirder. (Uncanny X-Men #276)
Star Trek reference! Take a drink! Wait, no, that’s not a podcast game, that’s just Jay’s reading game. (Uncanny X-Men #276)
Yep, it’s another two-page spread. Don’t blame us–blame Jim Lee! (Uncanny X-Men #277)
…well, that explains some things. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
Oh, snap! (Uncanny X-Men #277)
Ooh, callback! Very clever, Gambit. Kinda creepy, but, y’know, clever. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
Even when he’s a skrull, it’s pretty satisfying to watch Charles Xavier get punched. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
VAMP! (Uncanny X-Men #277)
NEXT EPISODE: Stealth at all times.