Do you wish Les Miserables were about X-Men? TODAY YOU ARE IN LUCK: Here is a downloadable version of the parody of “At the End of the Day” that closed Episode 226!
At the End of the Fight
Tag: polaris
As Mentioned in Episode 226 – Les Mutants
Listen to the podcast here!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! 
Meet Random. (X-Factor #88) 
Quesada ribbons: totally a thing! (X-Factor #88) 
Look, if it works, it works. (X-Factor #88) 
Well, THAT can’t be good. (X-Factor #88) 
Who Wore It Better, Garden of Earthly Delights Edition! Genosha, or… (X-Factor #89) 
…Hieronymus Bosch? (Bosh. Definitely Bosch.) 
Oh, kiddo. (X-Factor #89) 
Romance! (X-Factor #88) 
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (X-Factor #89) 
Big mood. (X-Factor #90) 
Remember when Alex Summers was actually pretty awesome? (X-Factor #90) 
GENOSHA WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU (so much) (X-Factor #90) 
Harsh but valid. (X-Factor #90) 
Meet Mutate #24601, whose mutant power is probably painfully complex internal rhymes. (X-Factor #90) 
Aw, these goofballs. (X-Factor #90) 
Genosha’s sanitation system is ridiculous. (X-Factor #91) 
A+ lurking, Rahne! (X-Factor #91) 
This definitely won’t come back to haunt Jamie. (It definitely will.) (X-Factor #91) 
NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine vs. Everything!
At the End of the Fight
Lyrics by Jay Edidin, with apologies to Herbert Kretzmer
Performed by *Luz Bianca, Greg Black, Jeremy Borders, Lucas Brown, Kitty Byrne, *Tina Carelton, *Finn Carter, Everett Christensen, Veryan Croggan, Chris Eddleman, *Christina Eddleman, edibleflowers, Sol Foster, Emily Freville, Matt Gardner, Eric Michael Gray, Pete Gresser, Becky Hawkins, Andrew Hill, Jeff Holland, Al Kennedy, Steve Lacey, Kevin Lanigan, Elana Levin, *Alex Lundquist, Dan McMahon, William Mason, Steve Neal, notwhelmedyet (Lynn), Duck Orsino, Shannon Pack, Erin Pence, *Steve Pence, Philthy, Mariana Poole, rainproof, Samantha Riedel, Scott Sharplin, Adam Slevison, Richaundra Thursday, Dave Tomaine, Devin Toohey, and Grace Young.
*Soloists
[X-FACTOR]
At the end of the fight you’re another page older
And that’s all you can say for the X-Factor life
It’s a struggle, it’s a war
And just when you think that you’re winning
You find yourself stuck on the moon, facing down Stryfe
And the fight’s just beginning
At the end of the fight you’re another fight older
And the X on your jacket won’t keep out the chill
And the readers all hurry past
To the six other X-books they’re buying
As the Legacy Virus spreads fast, ready to kill
One fight nearer to dying
[COMPANY]
A tthe end of the fight there’s another fight coming
A crossover next week, an annual soon
Like a storm that’ll break any second
Foreshadowing Fatal Attractions
There’s a reckoning still to be reckoned
Plus the critics’ hot takes and reactions
And the future is not looking bright
At the end of the fight
[VAL COOPER]
At the end of the fight there will be a debriefing
You don’t get to slack in a government job
[STRONG GUY]
We’ve got better things to do
And this system doesn’t seem fair
After all, we threw all the punches
[POLARIS]
Plus, we don’t care
[STRONG GUY+ WOLFSBANE]
And we need a vacation.
[MULTIPLEMAN]
Have you seen how Val Cooper is fuming today
[QUICKSILVER]
She might be possessed, she seems so out of sorts
[VAL]
Step it up Summers, there’s paperwork waiting–
They’re not dissertations, just mission reports
[COMPANY]
At the end of the fight it’s another fight over
To whatever extent superhero fights end
Fight Magneto, fight the Blob
Fight some guy we just met in a sewer
What the hell, at least it’s a job
Just find us the next evildoer
‘Cause there’s no resolution in sight
At the end of the fight
LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE:
- David Dinkins was New York City’s first Black mayor and a pretty interesting dude.
- The Lindbergh baby was not in fact safely returned. Sorry, Rahne.
- If you want to know more about Genosha, check out Episode 99 – Those Who Walk Away From Genosha.
- You can hear about Havok’s short career as a magistrate in Episode 156 – Genosha Strikes Back.
- For Val Cooper’s unfortunate encounter with a tentacle monster, listen to Episode 216 – X-Amining X-Factor.
226 – Les Mutants
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS
In which Havok actually used to be pretty great; there are at least four attorneys in the Marvel Universe; Genosha continues to be wildly problematic; Hieronymus Bosch was not Comics Code-compliant; Quicksilver goes on vacation; Polaris has no time for your love triangle; Wolfsbane can maul as many magistrates as she wants; and Multiple Man makes a choice.
X-PLAINED:
• Damian Tryp
• An unconventional staffing practice
• Genosha (more) (again)
• The devolution of Alex Summers’ personality
• Several attorneys in the Marvel Universe
• X-Factor #88-91
• Random (Marshall Stone III)
• Joe Quesada’s signature ribbons
• Checkbook heroism
• Kids these days
• Genoshan reconstruction
• Several gardens of earthly delights
• Puberty
• A mercifully abandoned plan
• A conspiracy
• A significant tonal shift
• Mutate #24601
• RoboJean
• Genosha’s sanitation system
• Dick Chalker
• Magneto Rex
• Humans in Magneto’s Genosha
NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine vs. everything
Thanks to everyone who helped bring Jay’s weird musical dream to life:
*Luz Bianca, Greg Black, Jeremy Borders, Lucas Brown, Kitty Byrne, *Tina Carelton, *Finn Carter, Everett Christensen, Veryan Croggan, Chris Eddleman, *Christina Eddleman, edibleflowers, Sol Foster, Emily Freville, Matt Gardner, Eric Michael Gray, Pete Gresser, Becky Hawkins, Andrew Hill, Jeff Holland, Al Kennedy, Steve Lacey, Kevin Lanigan, Elana Levin, *Alex Lundquist, Dan McMahon, William Mason, Steve Neal, notwhelmedyet (Lynn), Duck Orsino, Shannon Pack, Erin Pence, *Steve Pence, Philthy, Mariana Poole, rainproof, Samantha Riedel, Scott Sharplin, Adam Slevison, Richaundra Thursday, Dave Tomaine, Devin Toohey, and Grace Young.
*Soloists
Special thanks to Juliana Finch, Christian Lipski, and Laser Webber for technical advice; Christina Eddleman for recording the demo track; and Matt Gardner and Peter Gresser for [Easter egg description redacted].
Check out the visual companion to this episode–as well as the full lyrics to “At the End of the Fight”–on our blog!
Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
As Mentioned in Episode 216 – X-Amining X-Factor
Listen to the episode here.
X-Factor does not take particularly well to therapy, to nobody’s particular surprise. (X-Factor #87)
Nope. (X-Factor #87)
Looking forward to a visual companion full of cleverly framed two-person conversations? No? TOO BAD, ‘CAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE GETTING. (X-Factor #87)
It’s rough to be Pietro Maximoff; but at least you get to dress like THAT. (X-Factor #87)
I love how character-specific these layouts are– (X-Factor #87)
–none moreso than Multiple Man’s. (X-Factor #87)
“It doesn’t help that my only hobby is lurking in foliage.” (X-Factor #87)
I’m putting this in so that you’ll get why the next sequence is so clever. (X-Factor #87)
See what I mean? (X-Factor #87)
This could have worked, handled differently; but boy does it not. (X-Factor #87)
SIGH.
Val Cooper is the most sitcom of sitcom bosses. (X-Factor #87)
And that’s why you don’t armchair diagnose! (X-Factor #87)
NEXT EPISODE: Rasputin Family Reunion!
LINKS & FURTHER ANALYSES:
- Follow Dr. Andrea Letamendi on Twitter; and check out The Arkham Sessions!
- Wally Wood’s 22 Panels are legendary for a reason.
- For more on David Haller and representations of mental illness in X-Books, check out Episode 44 – Assembling Legion, with Si Spurrier.
- If you can’t get enough out of the intersection of fictional therapy and podcasting, we recommend the hell out of The Bright Sessions.
216 – X-Amining X-Factor (feat. Dr. Andrea Letamendi)
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS
In which Dr. Andrea Letamendi of Arkham Sessions joins us to analyze some analysis; Doc Samson has major scope-of-practice issues; Ren & Stimpy references continue to fail to age well; it’s hard to be Quicksilver; Val Cooper is not your friend; Polaris pretty much always deserves better; Charles Xavier should not be allowed to inhabit positions of power; and labels are often not the best tools for good representations of mental illness and neurodivergence.
X-PLAINED:
- A very high-stakes 3-D puzzle
- X-Factor #87
- Doc Samson
- Making talking heads interesting
- Wolfsbane’s relationship to pop culture
- Appropriate boundaries
- Several remarkable fashion choices
- Pietro Maximoff in perspective
- Therapeutic assessment vs. intervention
- The extremely tragic backstory of Jamie Madrox
- Imposter syndrome
- A brief history of Polaris’s brushes with possession
- A really poorly planned and presented sequence
- Consequences of armchair diagnosis
- Interactions of telepathy and psychology
- Legion as a portrayal of mental illness
- Writing mental illness in fiction
NEXT EPISODE: Rasputin Family Reunion!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
As Mentioned in Episode 212 – Drumbeats of Despair
Listen to the episode here.
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
(Actually, it’s part of a triptych! Here are all three, together at last!)
Damnit, Stryfe. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Ew. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Including this entirely for Archangel’s epic grumpy face. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Alas, the podcast JY & Miles X-Plain the X-Men won’t exist for another 23 years. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Say what you will about Scott and Jean, but they’re aware of their own cliches. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Of course. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
The number of unsettling ways in which X-artists can mess up drawing babies never ceases to impress. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
“Also, sorry ’bout your table.” (Uncanny X-Men #296)
“Remember,” said the editor, “Every comic is somebody’s first!” (X-Factor #86)
Seriously, though, that could not get more Patrick Nagel if Patrick Nagel had drawn it. (X-Factor #86)
“AND I’LL BE THE HEAD!” (X-Factor #86)
THIS. PAGE. (X-Factor #86)
No, not particularly. (X-Factor #86)
Seriously: Ew. (X-Factor #86)
“Eh, I got nowhere else to be.” (X-Factor #86)
They’re so enormous and heavily armed! (X-Men #16)
Aw, man, this is a really good heroic moment. (X-Men #16)
WHOOPS. (X-Men #16)
Well, that’s portentous. (X-Men #16)
Stryfe’s tirades remain an impressive mix of incredibly specific and frustratingly vague. (X-Force #18)
Possibly the most Stryfe line of the entire event. (X-Force #18)
Dang, Cable. (X-Force #18)
“Like, organs and stuff.” (X-Force #18)
I’d like to think that Stryfe is angriest about the pun. (X-Force #18)
SPOILER: He’ll be okay, at least by Cable standards. (X-Force #18)
Maybe it’s a universal remote! SERIOUSLY, CYCLOPS, I KNOW YOU WERE RECENTLY DEPRIVED OF OXYGEN, BUT IT’S VERY CLEARLY A DETONATOR. (X-Force #18)
Ouch. (X-Force #18)
NEXT EPISODE: Live from FlameCon, featuring Sina Grace, Magdalene Visaggio, and Leah Williams!
LINKS & FURTHER MISHAPS:
- I know this Waiting for the Trade strip is years old, but the joke really never stops being funny.
- For all your old-school hacking needs.
- According to Wikipedia, the not-Stüssy S is in fact called the “Cool S,” which is a fairly bold claim.
- Ferruginous hawks are ridiculous, but they’re still not as ridiculous as Warren Kenneth Worthington III.
212 – Drumbeats of Despair: X-Cutioner’s Song (Part 3 or 3)
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS
In which nobody but Stryfe’s diary understands him; Apocalypse is the best at what he does (and what he does is remarkably versatile); Scott and Jean weaponize their clichés; Jae Lee does his best Patrick Nagel; Apocalypse is poisonous; Cable goes full T-800; nothing good ever happens to Cyclops on the moon; Stryfe dies as passive-aggressively as he lived; and X-Cutioner’s Song finally concludes.
X-PLAINED:
- How Cable dies
- The Story So Far
- Still more trading-card taxonomy
- Uncanny X-Men #296
- X-Factor #86
- X-Men #16
- X-Force #18
- An AU we’d like to read
- The not-Stüssy S
- How to effectively reference X-Men #137
- A decoy baby
- An abortive escape
- Moon gravity
- Revelatory vandalism
- A trip to the moon
- A probably excessive number of hawk facts
- Various daring rescues
- How to kill time in space
- Cathexes
- A very fancy moon base
- The cavalry, kind of
- Stryfe vs. Cable
- An X-Cellent epilogue
- Several Silent Hill 2 references
- Stryfe’s Legacy
- Pawnee, Indiana vs. Marvel
- Sexy high-security prisons of the future
NEXT EPISODE: Live from FlameCon, featuring Sina Grace, Magdalene Visaggio, and Leah Williams!
Special thanks to Matt for the subject of this episode’s cold open; and to the Protomen for use of their cover of “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
As Mentioned in Episode 211 – A Cornucopia of Mayhem
Listen to the episode here.
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Really, though, it was all just a hilarious misunderstanding. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
I’m just gonna let Jubilee caption this one… (Uncanny X-Men #295)
…Yep. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
PSYLOCKE, MURDER IS OCCASIONALLY NOT THE ANSWER. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
This is not actually a lot like child-rearing. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
It is very, very 1992 in here. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
Aw, Sam. You’re a good kid. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
NEXT ISSUE: Three men without inside voices. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
Sure, why not? (X-Factor #85)
Even Apocalypse is horrified by the ramifications of this mess. (X-Factor #85)
Compromise is the heart of teamwork! (X-Factor #85)
I really love both the art in this issue and Dragoness’s design as drawn by Jae Lee. (X-Factor #85)
It’s a metaphor! With robots! Probably! (X-Factor #85)
Awk-ward. (X-Factor #85)
You see what I mean about the DragonQuest thing? (X-Men #15)
Why is Psylocke standing like this mid-fight? Or at all, honestly? A MYSTERY FOR THE AGES. (X-Men #15)
I’m glad that Colossus’s Angst Landscaping has persevered. (X-Men #15)
No, Stryfe. And I think you know that. (X-Men #15)
new body who dis (X-Men #15)
NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, STRYFE. (X-Force #17)
Oh, that’ll end well. (X-Force #17)
Logan ABSOLUTELY deserved that. (X-Force #17)
Ouch. (X-Force #17)
Objectively, I know that X-Men #137 callbacks are calculated manipulation, BUT THEY ALWAYS WORK ANYWAY. (X-Force #17)
NEXT EPISODE: Man, this is a long event.
LINKS & FURTHER EXPERIMENTS:
- Listen to Part 1 of our X-Cutioner’s Song coverage here.
- Wire Mothers: Harry Harlow and the Science of Love is a really cool book made by some people we like very much.
211 – A Cornucopia of Mayhem: X-Cutioner’s Song (Part 2 of 3)
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS
In which Jubilee is underwhelmed by X-Force; Havok and Gambit make weirdly good buddy cops; Department K is a hot vacation destination; Cable is secretly a Coen Brothers protagonist; you can cancel Community but you can never take away Jay’s gratuitous Community references; Rusty goes full cultist; nobody is Stryfe’s real dad; smoking on a space station is a REALLY bad idea; Apocalypse is here to help; and Miles lies at length about music.
X-PLAINED:
- Kuurth
- Various Juggernauts
- The Story So Far
- More trading-card taxonomy
- Uncanny X-Men #295
- X-Factor #85
- X-Men #15
- X-Force #17
- Varyingly hilarious misunderstandings
- Wire Mothers: Harry Harlow and the Science of Love
- What happened
- Good Cop / Sleazy Cop
- A deal
- A tragic absence of Draculas
- The Coen Brothers’ X-Cutioner’s Song
- Thanksgiving with Cable
- Miles’s summer camp hijinks
- Murderbots in space (again)
- A dubious strategy
- MLF Redshirts
- The second time someone force-fed superheroes baby food in space
- A dropped plot thread
- Things you shouldn’t do on space stations
- Additional awkward reunions
- Whether Stryfe is a Summers
- The X-Cutioner’s signature karaoke song
NEXT EPISODE: Dang, this event is long.
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
As Mentioned in Episode 210 – The End of Tomorrow
Listen to the podcast here!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
What Rogue’s wearing was actually our school uniform back in 1992! (Uncanny X-Men #294)
Scott, you chowderhead. (Uncanny X-Men #294)
Do NOT invite Caliban to your wedding. Or probably to anything. (Uncanny X-Men #294)
You know, sometimes Professor Xavier really isn’t a jerk. (Uncanny X-Men #294)
Professor Xavier is shot in the dark future of Earth-811… (New Mutants #18)
…and in the dark present of Earth-616. (Uncanny X-Men #294)
Kids, your day is not going to get better from here. (Uncanny X-Men #294)
Have we mentioned we love Jae Lee’s art? We love Jae Lee’s art. (X-Factor #84)
At karaoke, Archangel’s voice is just okay, but his performance is 10/10. (X-Factor #84)
I mean, let’s be real – that’s pretty hot. (X-Factor #84)
EVERYBODY FIGHTS EVERYBODY (X-Factor #84)
The X-Men are so good at posing in this era. (X-Factor #84)
“Dear diary: I finally said it! I said the line!” (X-Factor #84)
Man, Andy Kubert could draw someone doing their taxes and it’d look superheroic. (X-Men #14)
Except that time 16 years later when you shoot him in the head, ya doof. (X-Men #14)
Jean Grey: CGC 8.4 Scott Summers: CGC 7.2 (X-Men #14)
Not Rictor’s best pickup line… But also not his worst. (X-Men #14)
Apocalypse, you have got to turn your shower temperature down. That hot water is awful for your skin. (X-Men #14)
That’s a clove cigarette, in case you can’t tell. (X-Men #14)
X-Force: both very sympathetic and very colorful! I miss when badasses wore colors other than black. (X-Force #16)
EVERYBODY FIGHTS EVERYBODY SOME MORE (X-Force #16)
“You see, Piotr, this is how we entered every building back in our X-Factor days!” (X-Force #16)
Mister Sinister: pleased as punch. (X-Force #16)
There’s seriously nothing we can add to this. (X-Force #16)
Best not to dwell. (X-Force #16)
NEXT EPISODE: It is definitely not.
LINKS & FURTHER ADVENTURES:
- Jay’s X-Men Valentines were in somewhat questionable taste.
- Our Discord server is delightful. You can join it here.