Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Phoenix

356 – The Michael Bay-eux Tapestry

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which it’s hard to be Joseph; we do our best to explain the inexplicable; Miles is full of feelings; Hulk smashes; and Onslaught finally (mostly) ends.

X-PLAINED:

  • Heroes Reborn Return
  • Wild times with the Dreaming Celestial
  • Onslaught so far
  • X-Men #56
  • Onslaught: Marvel Universe
  • Jay’s definitive Bond
  • Joseph (more)
  • The physical evolution of Onslaught
  • Sense of scale
  • Hawkeye (TV series)
  • Onslaught’s goals, to what extent they exist
  • The three genders
  • A really big fight
  • A miracle of magnetism
  • The (nominal) end of the Age of Heroes
  • Beast’s scientific career
  • Chamber’s voice

NEXT EPISODE: Several epilogues

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As Mentioned in Episode 343 – The Water Cooler of Violence

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
LIES ALL LIES (X-Force #55)
(Probably not a LMD. This time.) (X-Force #55)
I’m not sure sound works like that, but it’s still cool. (X-Force #55)
And now you know how animated Wolverine feels. (X-Force #55)
Well, that’s one way to open a giant door. (X-Force #55)
Seriously, why is he in his underwear? (X-Force #55)
It’s really not any harder to believe than anything else in this comic. (X-Force #55)
Sacrelicious! (X-Force #56)
The Benjamin Russell storyline really doesn’t make any sense when you break it down… (X-Force #56)
I have nightmares like this. (X-Force #56)
IT WAS GAMESMASTER ALL ALONG SURE WHY NOT (X-Force #56)
We kinda forgot to cover this first time ’round. (X-Men Unlimited #8)
Puberty’s rough, buddy. (X-Men Unlimited #8)
“There’s a new mutant about to manifest! Let’s have the MOST UNSETTLING X-Man go follow him around!” (X-Men Unlimited #8)
Seriously, there is NO evidence at this point that it’s the word “mutant” that sends the kid running and not, say, the lightning. (X-Men Unlimited #8)
This is the part where it starts to feel like one of those books you could get in the ’80s with your kid’s name as the protagonist. (X-Men Unlimited #8)
See what I mean? (X-Men Unlimited #8)
“They usually bring you back in a dozen or so issues. Why?” (X-Men Unlimited #8)
And they all lived happily ever after.* *Joined the Thunderbolts, became Maverick, maybe blew up? (X-Men Unlimited #8)
NEXT EPISODE: Where no mutant has gone before!

LINKS & FURTHER CATASTROPHES:

343 – The Water Cooler of Violence

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which X-Force carries on the New Mutants’ tradition of property damage; a lot of people have infiltrated Helicarriers; G.W. Bridge makes it weird; Gamesmaster returns to no particular end; and we go back in time to cover the origins of Chris Bradley.

X-PLAINED:

  • The deaths of several Worthingtons
  • X-Force #55-56
  • X-Men Unlimited #8
  • A legacy of explosions
  • Uncanny X-Men #333 (briefly) (again)
  • A heist
  • Several of the many characters who had successfully infiltrated Helicarriers as of 1996
  • Dum Dum Dugan
  • Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine
  • The glory days off LASER tag
  • Church fights
  • Subtext
  • The Weisman Institute for the Criminally Insane (more) (again)
  • How to pronounce “Risque”
  • Chris Bradley
  • Hans Jensen
  • Nostalgia goggles and their absence
  • Civilian awareness of cosmic Marvel
  • Asgard, Oklahoma
  • Annalee

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Where No Mutant Has Gone Before

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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342 – Angry Birds

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Miles does his best, birds are weird, some of the most dangerous villains are pink, and we are in the Onslaught Zone.

X-PLAINED:

      • Malibu Comics and Marvel Comics, sitting in a (multiversal) tree, KILLING
      • Archangel: Phantom Wings
      • Unorthodox artistic decisions
      • Archangel (Warren Kenneth Worthington III)
      • Angst, renewed
      • Bird ichor
      • Tuesday Bird and her Mad Max outfit
      • How (not?) to flirt
      • Uncanny X-Men #333
      • Various Roberts Kelly
      • Graydon Creed, doin’ Mom proud
      • Bastion, Nimrod, & Master Mold
      • Operation Zero Tolerance
      • X-Teams and their lanes
      • A naked murder-uncle
      • Pink villains
      • Obscure callbacks
      • Event synergy
      • X-Men #53
      • Day to-day challenges of telepathy
      • Super-Saiyan Magneto
      • Phoenix (Jean Grey), actual adult
      • Onslaught
      • That scene from 1964’s X-Men #3
      • A surprisingly insightful look at Professor X’s dark side
      • Logan’s assorted friendships with teen girls
      • XMEN Disease

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force gets, predictably, x-treme.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 333 – Fight Train

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I’d like to think he leaves her office like this afterwards. (Uncanny X-Men #331)
Just another Thursday on the PATH… (X-Men #51)
TFW you run into your boss outside of work and they make it weird. (X-Men #51)
…Somehow. (X-Men #52)
Remember that name; you’ll be sneering it later. (X-Men #52)
I wasn’t kidding when I said that Sinister kidnapped Bishop to find out if his ships were canon. (X-Men #52)
NEXT EPISODE: Emplate sucks!

333 – Fight Train

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Miles discovers owl legs; Iceman dwells in subtext; Dark Beast overperforms; Daredevil is a delightful trash fire of a person; Graydon Creed’s presidential run is somewhat less shocking in 2021; Rogue does not enjoy playing ‘Got your nose’; and Mister Sinister is not a friend to public transportation.

X-PLAINED:

  • Post-Decimation resurrections
  • Owl legs
  • Uncanny X-Men #331
  • X-Men #51-52
  • Iceman’s complicated personal life
  • Casual crossovers
  • The facial hair of Warren Kenneth Worthington III
  • The terrible decisions of Matt Murdock
  • How to subtly test your in-laws for mutant powers
  • What Mister Sinister sounds like
  • A bad plan
  • The debut of Bastion
  • DNA
  • Foreshadowing

NEXT EPISODE: Emplate Sucks

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 331 – Surprised by Brood

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
…Maybe it’s one of those really small motels where none of the bedding matches? I don’t know. (X-Men vs. Brood #1)
Secret Origins of Hannah Conover, part 1 of 2. (X-Men vs. Brood #1)
Secret Origins of Hannah Conover, part 2 of 2. (X-Men vs. Brood #1)
Meet the Firstborn! (X-Men vs. Brood #1)
Lookitthat blastin’-mussed hair! (X-Men vs. Brood #1)
And wet hair! Brian Hitch is a treasure. (X-Men vs. Brood #1)
She protec but she also attac (X-Men vs. Brood #1)
I dunno, man; angels are pretty weird. (X-Men vs. Brood #1)
#relationshipgoals (X-Men vs. Brood #1)
And she’s still in that pod today. Somewhere. Probably. (X-Men vs. Brood #1)
Maybe Chick tracts have made me excessively cynical about Jesus showing up in comic books. (X-Men vs. Brood #1)
NEXT EPISODE: And so they do.

LINKS & FURTHER INFESTATIONS:

331 – Surprised by Brood

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we take a break from the lead-up to Onslaught; Hannah Conover is the queen of dangling plot threads (and also of the Brood); Wolverine is the strangest angel; William Conover is the chillest minister in the Marvel Universe; and Excalibur writer Tini Howard gives us the inside scoop on Gambit’s trench coat.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mutant Brood
  • The Brood vs. Brood X cicadas
  • X-Men vs. Brood: Day of Wrath #1-2
  • Theological origins of John Ostrander
  • Hair
  • An unspoken motif in pin-up art
  • Reverend William Conover (more)(again)
  • Hannah Conover (more)(again)
  • The Brood (more)(again)
  • The Brood Empress
  • The Firstborn
  • Atypical Queen-Broodling power dynamics
  • Brood of the future
  • A strange angel
  • What Gambit’s trench coat is made of

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: The end of the Externals!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 322 – Do More Crimes

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Never let Gambit take you anywhere. (X-Men #46)
Jean, seriously, do you have any idea how old your niece and nephew are? (X-Men #46)
Bobby, no. (X-Men #46)
We have X-Babies. This is not a drill. (X-Men #46)
Charming, ain’t they? (X-Men #46)
Wait… who?! (X-Men #46)
HI, DAZZLER! (X-Men #47)
This whole issue feels kind of like a Western, helped along by this incredibly classic framing. (Uncanny X-Men #327)
“Okay, but also, your face is melting.” (Uncanny X-Men #327)
OH SNAP denied (Uncanny X-Men #327)
This is legitimately adorable. (Uncanny X-Men #327)
“Y’know… stuff.” (Uncanny X-Men #327)
NEXT WEEK: Hawk talk!

NEXT EPISODE: SOMEHOW, EVEN MORE X-BABIES!

LINKS & FURTHER MISDIRECTION:

322 – Do More Crimes

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the X-Babies fail to charm; clones are people, too; Iceman doesn’t (quite) come out; Gambit and Bishop bond; Joseph comes into ambiguous being; and Principal Nezu and Charles Xavier would probably get along okay.

X-PLAINED:

  • Inconsistent quality
  • X-Men #46-47
  • Uncanny X-Men #327
  • The X-Babies (more) (again)
  • Sfogliatelle
  • Gog
  • Gog’n’Magog
  • Politics of the Mojoverse
  • Personhood of constructed entities
  • What makes an X-Babies story work
  • Jay’s favorite episodes of The Muppet Show
  • Age-appropriate literature
  • Fictional books
  • Fun with Bishop
  • Several restaurants
  • Hypothetical casting
  • What Magneto’s been up to
  • Joseph
  • Sister Maria
  • Why Magneto gets de-aged a lot
  • Amnesia
  • Various orphans and individuals affiliated therewith
  • How to keep up with upcoming X-titles
  • A cross-media friendship
  • True Believer: The Rise and Fall of Stan Lee

NEXT EPISODE: HAWK TALK

THE ONE AFTER THAT: MORE X-BABIES SO MANY X-BABIES

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Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!