In which what happens in space stays in space; a horse is imperiled; Joseph does some dubious science; Gladiator’s name is absolutely not Gary; everybody gets new costumes; and we learn where babies come from.
X-PLAINED:
Shi’ar taxonomy, sort of
The Shi’ar (again)
The Phalanx (again)
Uncanny X-Men #341-344
A whole bunch of callbacks to X-Men #98
A carriage ride
The Z’noxx chamber (again)
One way to have safer sex
FAO Schwarz
The Shi’ar Imerial Guard (again)
Diplomacy, kind of
Space outfits
Trademarks
Pure Phalanx
Dinosaur Kingdom 2
Where Shi’ar babies come from
Flirting
The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl vs. Isca the Unbeaten
Characters we would happily voice if invited to do so
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: Generation X vs. Black Tom Cassidy!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Professor is too cool for the Phalanx; fatphobia is significantly more dangerous than Fred Dukes; Strong Guy catches a plane; Emma Frost will not let you coast; Jubilee says goodbye to the X-Men; and it’s probably for the best that we have avoided corporate advertisers.
X-PLAINED:
Mr. M
Thor: Metal Gods
Ship (more) (again)
The Phalanx vs. the Borg
Several cover homages
X-Force #39
X-Factor #107
Uncanny X-Men #318
Prosh
The myriad delights of embodiment
A complex theory about Leprechauns
Benefits of single-issue stories
Strong Guy vs. the Blob
Strong Guy vs. Gravity
Strong Guy vs. an airplane
Strong Guy vs. biology
Several explosions
The kids of Generation X
Deluxe-format comics
The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning
Goodbyes
Dazzler’s relative immortality
Jay’s X-Men Happy Meal Toy wish list
How to make a page-accurate Warlock toy
NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
And we open our cover spotlight series with Monet, who is, for some reason, tiptoeing in big clunky boots. (Uncanny X-Men #316)
A name AND implied backstory? Yeah, she’s doomed. (Uncanny X-Men #316)
Okay, yeah, Kubert’s Banshee can get it. (Uncanny X-Men #316)
This is actually a great look. Too bad it’s a Phalanx doppelgänger. (Uncanny X-Men #316)
There they are, folks: Banshee’s abs. (Uncanny X-Men #316)
Next up: Synch! (X-Men #36)
He just looks so wrong with the intact glasses! (X-Men #36)
Showing a bunch of predominantly white cops holding guns on an unarmed black teenager while claiming that superpowers are the only issue in play is a pretty good illustration of exactly how the mutant metaphor fails at intersectionality. (X-Men #36)
Oh, hey, the Phalanx got legit scary! (X-Men #36)
[whispered] but why does the phalanx need abs (X-Men #36)
Heck, yeah, dynamic covers! (Uncanny X-Men #317)
The gang’s (almost) all here! (Uncanny X-Men #317)
Seriously, he might as well just wear a t-shirt that says “I’m a supervillain pretending to be a teenager.” (Uncanny X-Men #317)
nope (Uncanny X-Men #317)
For those of you wondering: Yes, they will eventually hook up. (Uncanny X-Men #317)
What I’m mostly getting from this is that the Phalanx offers great dental. (Uncanny X-Men #317)
In which we’re finally both back in the virtual studio; Generation X is the new Inferno; the Phalanx Covenant begins; we’re not talking about Hickman in our coverage of this story; Banshee is the adult in the room; the Phalanx is pretty sexist; and gross powers are cool.
X-PLAINED:
Blink
Peter Sís
The Phalanx Covenant
“Generation Next” (but not Generation Next)
Uncanny X-Men #316-317
X-Men #36-37
Yet another way to do a crossover event
Some very good visual branding
What we’re not covering
Sexy Banshee
Retired Colonel Gayle Cordbecker
Monet St. Croix (kind of)
Coaxing
Early days of the Internets
Everett Thomas (Synch)
The fate of Sara Grey
Phalanx Phashion
Angelo Espinosa (Skin)
Clarice Ferguson (Blink)
Some guy allegedly named Gregor
Harvest
A very expensive house
An apparent death
NEXT EPISODE: Forge does not get a puppy.
NOTE: Jay was right: LiveJournal first launched in 1999.
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which the Phalanx would make pretty fun novelty candy; “B-Plot” implies that we only have 26; nobody will take Jubilee to the movies; Repo Man and Repo: The Genetic Opera are in fact two entirely different films; Storm is a fashion icon; Sabretooth is the monster in the basement; it’s really rough to be the kid on the X-Men; Yuko gives Gambit a shovel talk; and a number of familiar faces return to the page.
X-PLAINED:
One of the many problems with Sentinels
Uncanny X-Men #311-313
Whether the Phalanx is squishy
Robo-Candy
Plotline disambiguation
A cult classic
Carl the X-Cutioner (again)
Creative use of Bishop’s powers
Storm fashion
Technical difficulties
A decision Iceman will come to regret
Bishop vs. Sabretooth
What If Vol. 2 #87
Variations on Iceman’s appearance
Early seeds of Generation X
A night out with Yukio
A heavily euphemized relationship
Xavier’s mutant underground
The Phalanx
A shovel talk
The return of Steven Lang (and some other people)
How Cyclops cries
Cassandra Nova’s signature look
NEXT EPISODE: Additional and Varyingly Literal Blasts from the Past
NOTE: Per our expert source Doctor Internet, what Miles knows as “water weenies” are mostly sold as “water wigglers” or “water snakes.”
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Excalibur goes 16-bit platformer; Alysande gets new threads; Shadowcat should probably just change her code name to Ripley; Captain Britain may or may not destroy the universe; Doctor Doom tries his hand at human resources; Excalibur is at home with weirdness; and no lizard needs breasts.
X-PLAINED:
Invisible Boy
Human heralds of Galactus
Excalibur Special Editions
Excalibur: Air Apparent
Excalibur: XX Crossing
Dr. Jonothon Cayre
Norm the LMD
Lava pits of Scotland
Some dubious herpetology
Eric the Cyborg (Coldblood-7)
Robert Cop
Special Man
Air-Walker and/or Gabriel Lam
A cosmic explosion
Captain Britain’s extra costume
Sidestep
An exceptionally awkward job interview
A counterintuitive plan
The other time-displaced X-Men
The best version of Angel
Angel’s third-greatest nemesis
Gladiator Hank
A very fancy vest
The best Excalibur Special Edition
The Phalanx vs. the Technarchy
Warlock vs. gender
Our thoughts on Avengers: Infinity War
Note: according to the letter column from Excalibur #54, at least some of the art credits for Excalibur: XX Crossing were incorrect, so some of our descriptions of who drew what in this episode are wrong. See the comments below for more information!
NEXT EPISODE: Shattershot!
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![[whispered] but why does the phalanx need abs (X-Men #36)](https://i0.wp.com/www.xplainthexmen.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/11_XM36.jpg?w=296&h=296&crop=1&ssl=1 "11_XM36")
