Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 369 – Carly Askani

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
“This ought to give you” *POW* “a new perspective” *BIFF* “on things, Alex!” (Uncanny X-Men #339)
Head trauma for Lucas BIshop! (Uncanny X-Men #339)
I mean, she’s not wrong. (Uncanny X-Men #339)
“You think I just fell off the turnip truck, McCoy? No one pulls a fast one on J. Jonah Jameson!” (Uncanny X-Men #339)
“I’m Ororo Munroe, and I’m here to x-plain the X-Men… because it’s about time someone did.” (Uncanny X-Men #339)
Never trust a Summers when he tells you he’s fine. (Uncanny X-Men #339)
Well, if they can print it, I guess we can post it. (X-Men #59)
Head trauma for Lucas Bishop! Again! (X-Men #59)
Hell of a Wolverine you’ve got there, Mr. Kubert. (X-Men #59)
JOSEPH I AM CALLING THE POLICE (X-Men #59)
Not quite as good as the Rogue/Gambit kiss from #41, but still… whoa. (X-Men #59)
I’M HUGE (X-Men #59)
“For instance, I can see through this utterly massive chin.” (Wolverine Annual 1996)
Josef Stalin..? (Wolverine Annual 1996)
Up… (Wolverine Annual 1996)
…and up… (Wolverine Annual 1996)
…and up. (Wolverine Annual 1996)
“General Grievious, sir, it’s the Jedi!” (Wolverine Annual 1996)
You know, I think this might be Sunfire’s best non-Age of Apocalypse look! (Wolverine Annual 1996)
*Pacific Rim music plays* (and now it’s in your head too) (Wolverine Annual 1996)
Logan, that… that was there before. Maybe you need to adjust your bandana. (Wolverine Annual 1996)
NEXT TIME: The Silver Age with Max Carleton!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

369 – Carly Askani

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Storm & Joseph X-Plain the X-Men, Alex Summers is not brainwashed this time, he promises, Scott Lobdell writes better moments than stories, Ed McGuinness draws very large chins, and it’s Denver the Last Dinosaur, not Denver the Lost Dinosaur

X-PLAINED:

  • Uncanny X-Men #339
  • Spider-Man disambiguation
  • A. Kubert disambiguation
  • J. Jonah Jameson (again) (hooray!)
  • Sneaking songs
  • The history of smoking regulation on airlines
  • Creed disambiguation
  • Havok’s Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
  • Bonding while falling out of planes
  • X-Men #59
  • The copyright status of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
  • Well-drawn Wolverines
  • Hercules vs The Tick
  • Wolverine Annual 1996
  • The tragic death of Mariko Yashida
  • Silver Samurai (Kuniuchio Harada)
  • Sunfire (Shiro Yoshida) and what he’s been up to since Fatal Attractions
  • Josef Stalin, apparently?
  • Red Ronin and its nemesis, a time-lost dinosaur who we assure you is not Godzilla
  • Jedi and/or samurai vs. doors
  • Our logo fonts
  • James Howlett, guidance counselor
  • Onslaught but not evil
  • Whether Magneto could wield Mjolnir

NEXT EPISODE: The Silver Age with Max Carleton!

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As Mentioned in Episode 349 – Onslaught Secret Weapon Force Power Slammers

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Ahh, it’ll be fine. (Cable #34)
Sure, why not? (Cable #34)
I kind of wish he’d gotten to keep his massive fucked up arm. (Cable #34)
Start your red-string maps here. (Incredible Hulk #444)
GIANT SCREAMING ROCK! (Incredible Hulk #444)
SURE, WHY NOT? (Incredible Hulk #444)
Hulk just want to be left alone. (Incredible Hulk #444)
Sinister certainly knows how to make an entrance. (X-Man #18)
Aw, Caliban. (X-Force #57)
And there goes another Xavier school! (X-Force #57)
It’s no Bogdanove, but it’ll do. (X-Force #57)
I love that Onslaught’s happening and Sinister is just playing out this whole entire other story. (X-Force #57)
NEXT EPISODE: Hawk talk! NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught continues to continue.

LINKS & FURTHER COMPLICATIONS

349 – Onslaught Secret Weapon Force Power Slammers

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Onslaught nomenclature has some consistency issues; electricity is the new magnetism; Nate Grey mopes; Sinister doesn’t care about your guns; the Xavier mansion blows up (again); and we track down an elusive Sentinel.

X-PLAINED

  • Doctor Doom’s absolutely irrelevant Onslaught encounter
  • Cable #34
  • Incredible Hulk #444
  • X-Man #18
  • X-Force #57
  • Onslaught Phases vs. Impacts
  • Ozymandias (more) (again)
  • Post (more) (again)
  • Cable’s ridiculous motorcycle
  • Several Hulks
  • Behemoth
  • Cable/Storm
  • The Betty Conspiracy
  • Rocks that yell
  • Alpacalypse
  • Multiversal disambiguation
  • Some unlikely sound effects
  • An anti-Sinister failsafe
  • A self-destruct system
  • Warpath and Risque
  • A hug
  • A very specific Sentinel
  • Coming out in adulthood

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Somehow We Have Made 350 of These (and also more Onslaught)

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As Mentioned in Episode 344 – Where No Mutant Has Gone Before

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away… (Star Trex)
And then, Gladiator punched the Enterprise. (Star Trex)
This throwaway gag basically carries the issue. (Star Trex)
Everything Deathbird knows about diplomacy, she learned from Edgar Rice Burroughs novel covers. (Star Trex)
Several hundred years later… (Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Second Contact)
“I mean, we pay about as much attention to the Prime Directive…” (Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Second Contact)
This scene really looks like they should all be holding cocktails. (Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Second Contact)
Kang saying “Civility costs nothing” never stops being funny. (Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Second Contact)
Well, he’s doomed. (Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Second Contact)
And so’s she. (Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Second Contact)
We told you about that so we could tell you about this. (Planet X)
NEXT EPISODE: All of the Marvels. ALL of them. (feat. Douglas Wolk)

LINKS & FURTHER CROSSOVERS

344 – Where No Mutant Has Gone Before (feat. Tina Carleton)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the X-Men cross over with two generations of Star Trek; your grandma invented slash fiction; Gladiator punches a starship; we designate a universe; Leonard McCoy gets bowdlerized; “Gary” is a silly name for a god; Elizabeth Dehner deserves better; a lot of things happen in space; Worf and Wolverine enjoy a brief but intense romance; the X-Men should have more to say about the ethics of “curing” mutation; and we successfully delay Onslaught by another week.

X-PLAINED:

  • Cross-franchise creative footprints
  • Collecting Star Trek in the ‘90s
  • Secret origins of Tina and Jay’s friendship
  • Star Trex
  • Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Second Contact
  • Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Planet X
  • Delta Vega
  • “Where No Man Has Gone Before”
  • The Shi’ar (again)
  • The relationship of Star Trek to the Marvel Universe
  • Earth-1701, which may or may not also be Earth-200500
  • Proteus (again)
  • A dubious date
  • First Contact
  • The Borg
  • Several temporal anomalies
  • The Traveler
  • Michael Jan Friedman
  • Xhaldia
  • Time Hooks and/or Chrono-compasses
  • Prune juice
  • Your new ship
  • The Drakkon
  • A simulated Charles Xavier
  • A Highland sex ghost, apparently?

NEXT EPISODE: All of the Marvels, with Douglas Wolk!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 331 – Surprised by Brood

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
…Maybe it’s one of those really small motels where none of the bedding matches? I don’t know. (X-Men vs. Brood #1)
Secret Origins of Hannah Conover, part 1 of 2. (X-Men vs. Brood #1)
Secret Origins of Hannah Conover, part 2 of 2. (X-Men vs. Brood #1)
Meet the Firstborn! (X-Men vs. Brood #1)
Lookitthat blastin’-mussed hair! (X-Men vs. Brood #1)
And wet hair! Brian Hitch is a treasure. (X-Men vs. Brood #1)
She protec but she also attac (X-Men vs. Brood #1)
I dunno, man; angels are pretty weird. (X-Men vs. Brood #1)
#relationshipgoals (X-Men vs. Brood #1)
And she’s still in that pod today. Somewhere. Probably. (X-Men vs. Brood #1)
Maybe Chick tracts have made me excessively cynical about Jesus showing up in comic books. (X-Men vs. Brood #1)
NEXT EPISODE: And so they do.

LINKS & FURTHER INFESTATIONS:

331 – Surprised by Brood

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we take a break from the lead-up to Onslaught; Hannah Conover is the queen of dangling plot threads (and also of the Brood); Wolverine is the strangest angel; William Conover is the chillest minister in the Marvel Universe; and Excalibur writer Tini Howard gives us the inside scoop on Gambit’s trench coat.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mutant Brood
  • The Brood vs. Brood X cicadas
  • X-Men vs. Brood: Day of Wrath #1-2
  • Theological origins of John Ostrander
  • Hair
  • An unspoken motif in pin-up art
  • Reverend William Conover (more)(again)
  • Hannah Conover (more)(again)
  • The Brood (more)(again)
  • The Brood Empress
  • The Firstborn
  • Atypical Queen-Broodling power dynamics
  • Brood of the future
  • A strange angel
  • What Gambit’s trench coat is made of

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: The end of the Externals!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 330 – Suddenly, Ninjas

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Photo backgrounds are among his arcane talents. (Uncanny X-Men #329)
*skitter* (Uncanny X-Men #329)
Seriously, I love this concept. (Uncanny X-Men #329)
If I had a dollar for every time I’d seen an angry man pull a tiny dude out of the back of an old woman, I would be… well, broke, but that’s not the point. (Uncanny X-Men #329)
Ah, yes, the sacred goth club. (Uncanny X-Men #329)
Seriously, there is no reasonable justification for this. (Uncanny X-Men #330)
Note: He pulled that figurine out of Archangel’s chest. (Uncanny X-Men #330)
Looks like one of those days. (X-Men #50)
Sure, why not? (X-Men #50)
WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE BEAST? (X-Men #50)
Another day, another giant floating head in the Xavier manor. (X-Men #50)
NEXT EPISODE: Brooding.

330 – Suddenly, Ninjas

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the podcast turns seven; Matt has officially edited half the podcast; a lot of things are made by metal; Doctor Strange is a big weirdo; Gambit is a scoundrel, not a villain; Wolverine goes goth; Onslaught could probably use a better herald; Bishop fires two guns whilst going aaaaaaa; and we commit to making what sense we can of Onslaught.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Betsy got her body back
  • Several simultaneous anniversaries
  • Uncanny X-Men #329-330
  • X-Men #50
  • Some ninja bullshit
  • A lot of less-benign-than-it-looks racism
  • Excellent use of a neon sign
  • An odd couple
  • The evolution of art tools
  • Steam vs. metal
  • Gomurr the Ancient
  • The Ebon Vein
  • Catastrophic magic
  • Our favorite iterations of Doctor Strange
  • The Crimson Dawn
  • How one becomes Gomurr the Ancient
  • Tar (Proctor of the Crimson Dawn)
  • Post (Herald of Onslaught)
  • An entity who may or may not be Onslaught
  • Continuity party tricks
  • Survivors of the Age of Apocalypse

NEXT EPISODE: Brood X!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!