Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: ororo munroe

As Mentioned in Episode 375 – One Thousand Kicks to the Face

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So many textures! (X-Men #60)
Ororo, you’re a good enough thief that you could probably afford clothes without holes in them… or is that a style thing? (X-Men #60)
I mean, this is definitely implying that Storm ran around the bronze age with Candra’s Heart as a fashion accessory, right? (X-Men #60)
“Dammit Ororo, did you learn nothing from my brother?!” (X-Men #60)
Candra as shibari lobster once more, now with ear-mandibles! (X-Men #60)
Remember that one Punisher movie where Frank set a bunch of cars on fire in the shape of a big skull? That was kinda cool. (X-Men #60)
Tiny mustache or shadow – you be the judge! (X-Men #60)
I know the Shadow King is supposed to be dead at this point, but that has to be him! Look at the speech bubble borders! (X-Men #60)
Suddenly, ninjas. (X-Men #61)
Ooh, nice visual flow. (X-Men #61)
“As opposed to that time I had kidney stones, which was only about three hundred kicks to the face!” (X-Men #61)
Logan is tasting the air like a snake! (X-Men #61)
Storm gets Candra’s hopes up… (X-Men #61)
…before Cyclops ZARKs them upon the rocks. That’s cold, guys. (X-Men #61)
Is it, though? (X-Men Unlimited #14)
Matching nightshirts! (X-Men Unlimited #14)
Whoa. Nicely done, Jim Cheung. (X-Men Unlimited #14)
Idyllic! (X-Men Unlimited #14)
Never change, Artie. (X-Men Unlimited #14)
Ever see Children of the Corn, Joe? (X-Men Unlimited #14)
I wish everyone had a dad this supportive. (X-Men Unlimited #14)
No moppet should moppet alone! (X-Men Unlimited #14)
NEXT TIME: Back to Asgard!

 

375 – One Thousand Kicks to the Face

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In which there is definitely a wrong way to enjoy your comics; Storm could probably use a more secure storage system; the Externals need more camp; and Joseph makes some valid points.

X-PLAINED

  • What Storm’s up to
  • X-Men Unlimited #7 (again) (briefly)
  • X-Men #60-61
  • X-Men Unlimited #14
  • Karima
  • Jamil
  • Candra (again)
  • A surprising absence of Howard Mackie
  • Candra’s heart
  • Some excessively complex psychic powers
  • Phylacteries
  • The origin of Storm’s romance with T’Challa
  • Kicks to the face as a unit of pain
  • Undercloaks
  • The alternate universe where the McCoys live in Indiana
  • The moppet squad (again)
  • Dunfee, IN
  • Yet another angry mob
  • Multiverse-variable powers
  • Favorite X-relationships

Correction: The Brandalorian let us know that “Phylacteries (tefillin) are not Chasidic; they’re a ritual object mentioned by the Torah, used by Jews of all sorts.” Apologies for our error, and we appreciate the correction!

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force goes to Asgard!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 373 – Tainted Loins

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Looks like your dad’s pain is a little worse than yours, Bobby. (Uncanny X-Men #340)
Now that is 1996 Sam Guthrie. Finally. (Uncanny X-Men #340)
Graydon Creed according to Joe Madureira… and Victor Creed as a glass of whiskey. (Uncanny X-Men #340)
If the command van’s a-knockin’… (Uncanny X-Men #340)
Joe Madureira’s mostly known for his action scenes, but he’s pretty great with quiet conversations too. (Uncanny X-Men #340)
Your government dresses you funny, Madrox. (X-Factor #128)
That’s so Raven. (X-Factor #128)
Graydon Creed according to Jeff Matsuda… and Harper, who is well aware of the need for discretion. (X-Factor #128)
Mystique transforms, version 1. (X-Factor #128)
Sabretooth and less-interesting-Sabretooth. (X-Factor #128)
Val Cooper just got back from the most dangerous sleepover ever. (X-Factor #129)
I love it when powers cross panel borders. (X-Factor #129)
Mystique transforms, version 2. (X-Factor #129)
Having grown up in the 90s, I can assure you this is quite an accomplishment. (X-Factor #129)
Well I’m impressed. (X-Factor #129)
Ah, that explains it. (X-Factor #129)
Scrawling SOON across your son’s campaign poster is the first step in saving his life. (X-Factor #129)
Blowing a hole in your son’s campaign poster is the second step in saving his life. (X-Factor #130)
Blowing additional holes in your son’s campaign poster is the third step in saving his life. (X-Factor #130)
Mystique transforms, version 3. (X-Factor #130)
Graydon Creed according to Eric Battle… and Val Cooper has changed out of her sleepwear. (X-Factor #130)
I’m just writing a visual companion, and I kinda want to yell “GUARDS”. (X-Factor #130)
This should’ve been two-thirds of the issue instead of two pages. (X-Factor #130)
Snazzy! (X-Factor #130)
Raven, just interrupt! You’re allowed! (X-Factor #130)
And with that..! (X-Factor #130)
NEXT EPISODE: Hawk Talk! IN TWO WEEKS: Frank Punisher meets Carl the X-Cutioner.

FURTHER READING

  • Miles talked about how to follow Krakoa’s year two X-books into year three:
    • Bridge miniseries:
      • Planet-Size X-Men 1-shot
      • Inferno
      • X Lives of Wolverine
      • X Deaths of Wolverine
    • Year two books that don’t continue into year three:
      • Cable (got a wrap-up 1-shot called Cable Reloaded)
      • Children of the Atom
      • Hellions
      • X-Corp
      • X-Factor
    • Books that have kept their year two numbering:
      • New Mutants
      • Wolverine
      • X-Force
      • X-Men Unlimited (on Marvel Unlimited)
    • Books that relaunched with a new #1 and new creators:
      • Marauders
      • X-Men
    • Books that relaunched with a new title:
      • Excalibur -> Knights of X
      • SWORD -> X-Men: Red
      • Way of X -> X-Men: the Onslaught Revelation -> Legion of X
    • One book is brand new:
      • Immortal X-Men
    • Also, don’t miss the Secret X-Men 1-shot toward the end of year two!

373 – Tainted Loins

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Drake Roberts identity is retired; Gambit bonds with William Drake; Graydon Creed is evil but nondescript; tales of Pyro’s death have been somewhat exaggerated; and some mysteries resolve better than others.

X-PLAINED:

  • Damian Tryp
  • X-Factor (more) (again)
  • Uncanny X-Men #340
  • X-Factor #128-30
  • More Drake family dynamics
  • The Sword of Shannara
  • The general vagueness of Graydon Creed
  • Several ninjas
  • Hound stuff
  • Val Cooper’s pajamas
  • An unexpected return
  • Shapeshifting
  • Overextended plotlines
  • Some unusually threatening dad jokes
  • The anticlimactic death of Graydon Creed
  • Some time travel bullshit
  • Which series are ending and which are relaunching between Reign of X and Destiny of X
  • How and when Colossus stopped being the Juggernaut

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: The Adventures of Carl & Frank

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 369 – Carly Askani

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
“This ought to give you” *POW* “a new perspective” *BIFF* “on things, Alex!” (Uncanny X-Men #339)
Head trauma for Lucas BIshop! (Uncanny X-Men #339)
I mean, she’s not wrong. (Uncanny X-Men #339)
“You think I just fell off the turnip truck, McCoy? No one pulls a fast one on J. Jonah Jameson!” (Uncanny X-Men #339)
“I’m Ororo Munroe, and I’m here to x-plain the X-Men… because it’s about time someone did.” (Uncanny X-Men #339)
Never trust a Summers when he tells you he’s fine. (Uncanny X-Men #339)
Well, if they can print it, I guess we can post it. (X-Men #59)
Head trauma for Lucas Bishop! Again! (X-Men #59)
Hell of a Wolverine you’ve got there, Mr. Kubert. (X-Men #59)
JOSEPH I AM CALLING THE POLICE (X-Men #59)
Not quite as good as the Rogue/Gambit kiss from #41, but still… whoa. (X-Men #59)
I’M HUGE (X-Men #59)
“For instance, I can see through this utterly massive chin.” (Wolverine Annual 1996)
Josef Stalin..? (Wolverine Annual 1996)
Up… (Wolverine Annual 1996)
…and up… (Wolverine Annual 1996)
…and up. (Wolverine Annual 1996)
“General Grievious, sir, it’s the Jedi!” (Wolverine Annual 1996)
You know, I think this might be Sunfire’s best non-Age of Apocalypse look! (Wolverine Annual 1996)
*Pacific Rim music plays* (and now it’s in your head too) (Wolverine Annual 1996)
Logan, that… that was there before. Maybe you need to adjust your bandana. (Wolverine Annual 1996)
NEXT TIME: The Silver Age with Max Carleton!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

369 – Carly Askani

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Storm & Joseph X-Plain the X-Men, Alex Summers is not brainwashed this time, he promises, Scott Lobdell writes better moments than stories, Ed McGuinness draws very large chins, and it’s Denver the Last Dinosaur, not Denver the Lost Dinosaur

X-PLAINED:

  • Uncanny X-Men #339
  • Spider-Man disambiguation
  • A. Kubert disambiguation
  • J. Jonah Jameson (again) (hooray!)
  • Sneaking songs
  • The history of smoking regulation on airlines
  • Creed disambiguation
  • Havok’s Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
  • Bonding while falling out of planes
  • X-Men #59
  • The copyright status of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
  • Well-drawn Wolverines
  • Hercules vs The Tick
  • Wolverine Annual 1996
  • The tragic death of Mariko Yashida
  • Silver Samurai (Kuniuchio Harada)
  • Sunfire (Shiro Yoshida) and what he’s been up to since Fatal Attractions
  • Josef Stalin, apparently?
  • Red Ronin and its nemesis, a time-lost dinosaur who we assure you is not Godzilla
  • Jedi and/or samurai vs. doors
  • Our logo fonts
  • James Howlett, guidance counselor
  • Onslaught but not evil
  • Whether Magneto could wield Mjolnir

NEXT EPISODE: The Silver Age with Max Carleton!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 349 – Onslaught Secret Weapon Force Power Slammers

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Ahh, it’ll be fine. (Cable #34)
Sure, why not? (Cable #34)
I kind of wish he’d gotten to keep his massive fucked up arm. (Cable #34)
Start your red-string maps here. (Incredible Hulk #444)
GIANT SCREAMING ROCK! (Incredible Hulk #444)
SURE, WHY NOT? (Incredible Hulk #444)
Hulk just want to be left alone. (Incredible Hulk #444)
Sinister certainly knows how to make an entrance. (X-Man #18)
Aw, Caliban. (X-Force #57)
And there goes another Xavier school! (X-Force #57)
It’s no Bogdanove, but it’ll do. (X-Force #57)
I love that Onslaught’s happening and Sinister is just playing out this whole entire other story. (X-Force #57)
NEXT EPISODE: Hawk talk! NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught continues to continue.

LINKS & FURTHER COMPLICATIONS

349 – Onslaught Secret Weapon Force Power Slammers

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Onslaught nomenclature has some consistency issues; electricity is the new magnetism; Nate Grey mopes; Sinister doesn’t care about your guns; the Xavier mansion blows up (again); and we track down an elusive Sentinel.

X-PLAINED

  • Doctor Doom’s absolutely irrelevant Onslaught encounter
  • Cable #34
  • Incredible Hulk #444
  • X-Man #18
  • X-Force #57
  • Onslaught Phases vs. Impacts
  • Ozymandias (more) (again)
  • Post (more) (again)
  • Cable’s ridiculous motorcycle
  • Several Hulks
  • Behemoth
  • Cable/Storm
  • The Betty Conspiracy
  • Rocks that yell
  • Alpacalypse
  • Multiversal disambiguation
  • Some unlikely sound effects
  • An anti-Sinister failsafe
  • A self-destruct system
  • Warpath and Risque
  • A hug
  • A very specific Sentinel
  • Coming out in adulthood

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Somehow We Have Made 350 of These (and also more Onslaught)

Check out the visual companion to this post on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 344 – Where No Mutant Has Gone Before

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away… (Star Trex)
And then, Gladiator punched the Enterprise. (Star Trex)
This throwaway gag basically carries the issue. (Star Trex)
Everything Deathbird knows about diplomacy, she learned from Edgar Rice Burroughs novel covers. (Star Trex)
Several hundred years later… (Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Second Contact)
“I mean, we pay about as much attention to the Prime Directive…” (Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Second Contact)
This scene really looks like they should all be holding cocktails. (Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Second Contact)
Kang saying “Civility costs nothing” never stops being funny. (Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Second Contact)
Well, he’s doomed. (Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Second Contact)
And so’s she. (Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Second Contact)
We told you about that so we could tell you about this. (Planet X)
NEXT EPISODE: All of the Marvels. ALL of them. (feat. Douglas Wolk)

LINKS & FURTHER CROSSOVERS

344 – Where No Mutant Has Gone Before (feat. Tina Carleton)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the X-Men cross over with two generations of Star Trek; your grandma invented slash fiction; Gladiator punches a starship; we designate a universe; Leonard McCoy gets bowdlerized; “Gary” is a silly name for a god; Elizabeth Dehner deserves better; a lot of things happen in space; Worf and Wolverine enjoy a brief but intense romance; the X-Men should have more to say about the ethics of “curing” mutation; and we successfully delay Onslaught by another week.

X-PLAINED:

  • Cross-franchise creative footprints
  • Collecting Star Trek in the ‘90s
  • Secret origins of Tina and Jay’s friendship
  • Star Trex
  • Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Second Contact
  • Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Planet X
  • Delta Vega
  • “Where No Man Has Gone Before”
  • The Shi’ar (again)
  • The relationship of Star Trek to the Marvel Universe
  • Earth-1701, which may or may not also be Earth-200500
  • Proteus (again)
  • A dubious date
  • First Contact
  • The Borg
  • Several temporal anomalies
  • The Traveler
  • Michael Jan Friedman
  • Xhaldia
  • Time Hooks and/or Chrono-compasses
  • Prune juice
  • Your new ship
  • The Drakkon
  • A simulated Charles Xavier
  • A Highland sex ghost, apparently?

NEXT EPISODE: All of the Marvels, with Douglas Wolk!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!