Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 110 – Lights, Camera, Apocalypse!

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
We saw X-Men in the middle of a road trip the summer after our senior year of high school. Terrible vacation; fun movie.
X2: X-Men United is a very loose adaptation of one of our favorite X-Men stories: the Marvel Graphic Novel God Loves, Man Kills.
The less said about X-Men: The Last Stand, the better.
Jay can’t look at this X-Men: First Class poster without thinking of the Buckaroo Banzai end credits. It’s a blessing and a curse.
X-Men: Days of Future Past is one of the more ambitious retcons ever to grace the big screen.
X-Men: Apocalypse opens in the U.S. on May 27; and everywhere else at some point in the surrounding weeks.
Apocalypse’s on-panel debut… (X-Factor #5)
…and the first time we saw his signature costume. (X-Factor #6)
“Let’s adopt him and, I dunno, feed him scarab blood? Look, man, I’m making this up as I go along.” (Rise of Apocalypse #1)
Apocalypse’s true, diabolical plan, as realized in “The Twelve”: To capture a bunch of mutants and I guess put them in little terrariums? Apocalypse is a complicated guy. (Uncanny X-Men #377)
Apocalypse: Somehow actually more progressive than Doctor Who. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
The mechanics of Apocalypse’s body–and relative immortality–vary wildly from series to series. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
In the Age of Apocalypse, Apocalypse takes over Earth ahead of schedule and makes everything super glam. (X-Men: Alpha)
Deadpool may not be an X-Man, but his movie did feature the best version of the X-Men costumes to show up so far on screen.
NEXT WEEK: Excalibur joins Inferno!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

110 – Lights, Camera, Apocalypse!

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which the X-Men cinematic universe is a really mixed bag; Kang the Conqueror ruins everything; everyone wants a Sphinx hovercraft; Elle was right; and we bring you up to speed on all things En Sabah Nur–just in time for X-Men: Apocalypse!

X-PLAINED:

  • How Chamber got his torso back (and then lost it again)(twice)
  • Several ways to count X-Men movies
  • X-Men
  • X2: X-Men United
  • X-Men: The Last Stand
  • X-Men: First Class
  • X-Men: Days of Future Past
  • Adaptation anxiety
  • Distillation vs. dilution
  • Apocalypse (En Sabah Nur)
  • Rise of Apocalypse #1-4
  • Akkaba
  • Dubious survival tips
  • Fantastic Four #19
  • Doctor Strange #53
  • Ozymandias
  • Various horsemen of Apocalypse
  • Age of Apocalypse (Earth-295)
  • The Twelve
  • Cinematic X-costumes
  • Cast Party

NEXT WEEK: Excalibur joins Inferno!

CORRECTION: In this episode, Jay states that Kieran Shiach explained Kang in the Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts. It was, in fact, the amazing Paul O’Brien. Mea culpa.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 109 – The Passion of Madelyne Pryor

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
It’s the whole gang! Kind of! And some of them are evil! BUT STILL! (Uncanny X-Men #242)
No, it’s not. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
SEE? (Uncanny X-Men #242)
Only one of many reasons that enthusiastic consent is important. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
Iceman is so underrated. Dude’s the heart and conscience of the original five. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
WELL, THEN. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
N’astirh may be evil, but he has impeccable taste in infernal vehicles. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
That’s the cold wind of metaphor, Alex. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
Madelyne Pryor knows from genre conventions. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
Aw, man. These two. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
Inferno’s a pretty dark crossover, but it has some really damn delightful moments. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
Love N’astirh’s face in that first panel. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
No one draws a possessed skyline like Silvestri. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
SUCKERS. You’ve still got three issues left! (Uncanny X-Men #242)
I’m genuinely curious as to whether this splash page started out as a cover design. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
“We’ll laugh about this later.” (X-Factor #38)
THAT SOUND EFFECT! (X-Factor #38)
Madelyne Pryor is the best at villain speeches. (X-Factor #38)
This panel is awesome, which is probably why there are going to be a lot of callbacks to it. (X-Factor #38)
This sequence is kind of a great encapsulation of a lot of Scott and Alex’s relationship. (X-Factor #38)
Jean’s rocky and reluctant alliance with the Phoenix force makes each of them a good deal more interesting. (X-Factor #38)
The most important relationship–and scenes–in Inferno are between Jean and Madelyne. I really wish we’d gotten more of the two of them together. (X-Factor #38)
“We’ll need to harness the power of all of our best sound effects!” (X-Factor #38)
Perfect panel is perfect. (X-Factor #38)
On one hand: this is all kind of Scott’s fault. On the other hand: it’s hard not to feel bad for him. (X-Factor #38)
Inferno: In which everyone is wrong and everyone is sympathetic. (X-Factor #38)
OH, YEAH! (Uncanny X-Men #243)
X-Factor will continue to play with this idea to some extent, but it’ll fade away pretty fast, and that’s a damn shame. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
Ditto, this. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
Jean, Madelyne, or Phoenix; her story at its best will always be about self-determination. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
Valid. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
Pawing through the X-Men’s stuff is one of the less invasive things Sinister has done in this arc, but there’s something extra creepy about it. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
Walter Simonson’s ability to make Longshot’s hair look good is the eight wonder of the world. (X-Factor #39)
Scott Summers’ Life Is An Actual Anxiety Dream, chapter infinity. (X-Factor #39)
Oh, hey, it’s the rest of Cyclops’s backstory! (X-Factor #39)
Does Nebraska even have a Department of Social Services? (X-Factor #39)
I just really love this page. (X-Factor #39)
This panel might have the highest appearance-to-reality-of-finality ratio in comics. (X-Factor #39)
And they all lived happily ever after. (X-Factor #39)
NEXT WEEK: Apocalypse for Beginners!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING

109 – The Passion of Madelyne Pryor

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which you should not presume to judge Madelyne Pryor by your standards; we wrap up the core plot of Inferno (but still somehow have two episodes left to go); sympathetic is not the same thing as right; Storm and Jean use friendship and it’s super effective; Iceman is basically incorruptible; Angel gets a new codename; Cyclops gets a backstory; Sinister is aptly named; and Inferno makes retcons into retconade.

X-PLAINED:

  • Limbo vs. Limbo
  • Hel vs. Hell
  • Uncanny X-Men #242-243
  • X-Factor #38-39
  • A moment that does not speak eloquently for itself
  • Several extended misunderstandings
  • The difference between sympathetic and right
  • N’astirh’s sweet ride
  • A false binary
  • The Goblin Prince
  • Yet another reason Havok should have finished his dissertation
  • The power of friendship
  • The Rube Goldberg approach to combat
  • Superconductivity, kind of
  • Our least favorite retcon in Inferno
  • The Summers brothers summed up in a single scene
  • Clone ethics
  • Why we like it when characters screw up
  • Our favorite retcons
  • How to prep for X-Men: Apocalypse

NEXT WEEK: Apocalypse for Beginners

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 108 – What Price Glory

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Perfect cover is perfect. (Uncanny X-Men #239)
Hey, kids! Can you count the OSHA violations on this page? (Uncanny X-Men #239)
Does it get more Mr. Sinister than sitting on a giant crystal throne playing with X-Men action figures and expositing dramatically to himself? No. No, it does not. (Uncanny X-Men #239)
This moment is so good, and so chilling. (Uncanny X-Men #239)
Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes the bar eats you. (Uncanny X-Men #239)
ABORT ABORT BAD IDEA ABORT (Uncanny X-Men #239)
“Also, apparently they were really into Pinterest.” (Uncanny X-Men #239)
I am pretty sure I have seen this exact image on the front cover of at least one VHS tape. (Uncanny X-Men #239)
Here’s every panel of Madelyne’s black dress, in order. (Uncanny X-Men #240)
Hi, M-Squad. Bye, M-Squad. (Uncanny X-Men #240)
This whole scene is so exquisitely unsettling. (Uncanny X-Men #240)
Rogue, that is… quite an outfit. (Uncanny X-Men #240)
Meanwhile, in a completely different comic book. (Uncanny X-Men #240)
“Mr. Weatherbee didn’t really go into the details of this exchange program.” (Uncanny X-Men #240)
I don’t know why I find Scrambler so endlessly hilarious, but, GOD, I do. (Uncanny X-Men #240)
Silvestri doesn’t get to do nearly as much as Blevins or Simonson with possessed objects; but he’ll make up for it with the amazing demonic cityscapes in #242. (Uncanny X-Men #241)
Close Encounters with the Fourth Wall, Colossus Edition. (Nah, they’re clones. BUT STILL.) (Uncanny X-Men #241)
I swear this police-car demon is a reference to SOMETHING, but I can’t for the life of me remember what. (Uncanny X-Men #241)
“Fuck this. I’m gonna go hang out in New Mutants.” (Uncanny X-Men #241)
This cannot POSSIBLY end well. (Uncanny X-Men #241)
“Also, I liked that scene way more when Paul Smith drew it.” (Uncanny X-Men #240)
The Greys really never catch a break. (Uncanny X-Men #240)
Nebraska: Definitely the worst state. (Uncanny X-Men #240)
And you thought your family holidays were awkward. (Uncanny X-Men #241)
Oh, damn. (Uncanny X-Men #241)
There’s at least one alternate universe in which Mister Sinister founded the X-men; but the only detail I remember is that their costumes are WAY fancier. (Uncanny X-Men #241)
This detail makes Madelyne’s story infinitely sadder. (Uncanny X-Men #241)
In which Mister Sinister effectively seals the fate of the world. (Uncanny X-Men #241)
That’s. My. Girl. (Uncanny X-Men #241)
Oh, snap. (Uncanny X-Men #241)
And then a hot dog stand ate Calvin and Hobbes. (X-Factor #36)
Awwww. (X-Factor #36)
Cool scene; dumb hats. (X-Factor #36)
In a just world, every time you looked at this panel, heroic music would start playing. (X-Factor #36)
Let’s all just take a moment to admire the composition of this splash page. (X-Factor #37)
These panels were fine in context of the page, but then I cropped them, and now all I can think of is that one really unsettling video of a sloth petting a cat. (X-Factor #37)
“Okay, but that’s gonna be really awkward at the bank.” (X-Factor #37)
Wait, what? (X-Factor #37)
“Also, you literally just teleported.” (X-Factor #37)
NEXT WEEK: The Passion of Madelyne Pryor

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

108 – What Price Glory

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which we recap nearly 200 issues in under three minutes; Madelyne Pryor is the Medea of X-Men; Mister Sinister takes the stage; Dazzler is basically an ’80s movie refugee; Scrambler may or may not be an exchange student from the Riverdale Marauders; Marc Silvestri is excellent at some things and less so at others; nothing good happens in Nebraska; Trish Tilby is the April O’Neil of X-Factor; and we swear that it was a total coincidence that this episode went up on Mother’s Day.

X-PLAINED:

  • One solution to the existential conundrum of the Carol Danvers who is also kind of part of Rogue
  • Pretty much everything that’s happened since the Dark Phoenix Saga
  • The structure of Inferno
  • Uncanny X-Men #239-241
  • X-Factor #36-37
  • The rise of the Goblin Queen
  • Several deaths in elevators
  • Mister Sinister and his amazing action-figure collection
  • The evolution of Mark Silvestri
  • Madelyne and Alex
  • A very symbolic dress
  • The Rainbow Room
  • M-Squad
  • That damn costume
  • 1989 in outfit form
  • Jay’s favorite Marauder
  • Rats-R-Us
  • Wolverine vs. a mail box
  • The X-Men, but evil
  • The secret origin of Madelyne Pryor
  • A long-anticipated reunion
  • Objects we’d demonically animate
  • Which X-Man should do your taxes

NEXT WEEK: The Passion of Madelyne Pryor

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Jay Recaps X-Men: Evolution
S1E9: Survival of the Fittest

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I can summarize most episodes of X-Men: Evolution from memory, in a fair degree of detail; so it surprised me when, in reviewing the Season 1 roster, I realized I recalled almost nothing of “Survival of the Fittest” beyond the fact that it involved some kind of summer camp scenario. When I started to watch, I realized why: in a season where even the bad episodes are usually entertaining, this one is just boring as all hell.

On my first pass, I stopped taking notes five minutes in, because nothing was happening. By the halfway mark, I was actively fantasizing about watching paint dry.1 But I am nothing if not committed, readers. I promised you a recap, and a recap you would have, come hell or high water.

Ah, well. At least I get to judge cartoon teenagers for their fashion choices.

Continue reading

As Mentioned in Episode 96 – Horsemen of the Playground

4 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
How you know a psychic event is a big deal: the cross-franchise reaction montage! (X-Factor Annual #3)
Well, that’s certainly one way to stage an intervention. (X-Factor Annual #3)
These delightful scamps. (X-Factor Annual #3)
Warlock, never change. (New Mutants Annual #4)
Can we have a moment of rapt silence for how well June Brigman draws body language? (New Mutants Annual #4)
The High Evolutionary’s head scientist, Stack, appears to be dual-wielding a cane and a staple gun. Because, evolution. (New Mutants Annual #4)
“On Wednesdays, we wear pink.” (New Mutants Annual #4)
Hell, yeah, equal-opportunity battle lingerie! (Well, except for Magneto, but he marches to the beat of his own fuchsia drum.) (New Mutants Annual #4)
Horses: totally the worst. (New Mutants Annual #4)
The scene that blew tiny Miles’s tiny mind. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
Man, if we had a dollar for every time that happened… (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
POIT: Definitely the cutest sound effect. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
In which Alex comes *this close* to the realization that Charles Xavier is totally a supervillain. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
SURE, WHY NOT? (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
Remember the time Storm had adventures on pirate space city on the back of a flying wolf? Because that was definitely a thing that actually happened. (Classic X-Men #22)
Oh, THAT guy. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
I’m not actually certain they ever followed up on this. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
It’s kind of a shame this logo didn’t stick around, because it’s pretty sweet. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
NEXT EPISODE: Captain Britain!

96 – Horsemen of the Playground

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Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which we play Evolutionary War Mad-Libs; it’s probably a bad sign when Apocalypse decides you need an intervention; Dani is (briefly) the new Doug; horses are jerks; it’s probably really dangerous to be Longshot; Storm has the coolest friends; the High Evolutionary is very high indeed; and we make a (very token) nod to Valentine’s Day.

X-PLAINED:

  • Secret Origins of the High Evolutionary
  • Evolutionary War
  • The actual history of eugenics in America
  • X-Factor Annual #3
  • New Mutants Annual #4
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #12
  • Classic X-Men #22
  • Purifiers (but not those purifiers)
  • Stack
  • Purge
  • How to tell when an event has major psychic repercussions
  • A Silver-Age callback
  • An Apocalypse-style intervention
  • Toga Steve (Val-Or)
  • The return of Bulk and Glow Worm
  • Equal-opportunity Hellfire lingerie
  • Mirage’s power upgrade
  • Miles vs. puberty vs. Uncanny X-Men
  • The coolest civilization ever
  • Colossus’s illegitimate kid
  • The cutest sound effect
  • Origins of the Scott/Jean/Logan love triangle
  • Stuff Jay likes and Miles doesn’t
  • The Elle Collins Theory of Podcast Roles

NEXT EPISODE: Captain Britain!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints (or travel mugs) of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 95 – Earthfall

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
TFW you forget a plotline for over a year and have to recap not only the original hook, but the entire context. (Uncanny X-Men #232)
If I had a dollar for every time this had happened when I was out camping… (Uncanny X-Men #232)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Uncanny X-Men #232)
That is definitely not how you perform CPR. (Uncanny X-Men #232)
A lot of our nightmares start like this. (Uncanny X-Men #232)
“Okay. This looks bad.” (Uncanny X-Men #233)
Nope. (Uncanny X-Men #233)
That’s… actually, that’s incredibly reasonable. (Uncanny X-Men #233)
How much do we love this cover? SO MUCH. (Uncanny X-Men #234)
That couple in the background are by far our favorite characters in this arc. (Uncanny X-Men #234)
And again. (Uncanny X-Men #234)
“So, meth, then?” (Uncanny X-Men #234)
Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men #232)
You know that thing where you have a really awful dream about someone you know, and you wake up really mad at them, and then you team up with demons and try to sacrifice a bunch of babies and turn New York into Hell? Yeah, me, too. (Uncanny X-Men #233)
In Madelyne’s defense, this really is a super fucked up dream. (Uncanny X-Men #233)
“She’s her old self again, but about six inches shorter.” (Uncanny X-Men #233)
There is literally nothing okay about what is going on here. (Uncanny X-Men #234)
Has anyone ever tried to reproduce this awesome manicure IRL? You should do that. (Uncanny X-Men #234)
The first official apparance of one of the worst villain costumes in X-Men. At least it’s memorable? (Uncanny X-Men #234)
Next Week: This asshole.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING: