Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Onslaught

As Mentioned in Episode 442 – MimeQuest 64

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A story in four parts. (X-Men Unlimited #22)
They have fun. (X-Men Unlimited #22)
In a world of clean-lined cartoony art, Logan is craggy. (X-Men Unlimited #22)
#roasted (X-Men Unlimited #22)
Any of the X-Men could wear that map as a dress! (X-Men Unlimited #22)
(New) Girl Talk (X-Men Unlimited #22)
A well-armed mime-litia. (X-Men Unlimited #22)
Patrick Gleason, master of visually engaging conversations. (X-Men Unlimited #22)
And you told your math teacher you’d never need to know this stuff in real life. (X-Men Unlimited #22)
Shadowcat and Marrow miniseries now, please! (X-Men Unlimited #22)
See, it’s funny, because normally MetroCards charge you! (X-Men Unlimited #22)
Space Ghost: “Dames are like mustard: they taste great on a sandwich. But when you’re not eating a sandwich… they just sit there in the fridge… on a shelf… in a jar… labeled… mustard.” (X-Men Unlimited #22)
1963! (X-Men / Doctor Doom Annual 1998)
1969! (X-Men / Doctor Doom Annual 1998)
1978! (X-Men / Doctor Doom Annual 1998)
1980 (but in the future of 2013)! (X-Men / Doctor Doom Annual 1998)
Back to 1975! (X-Men / Doctor Doom Annual 1998)
1980 again, but not in an alternate future this time! (X-Men / Doctor Doom Annual 1998)
1982! (X-Men / Doctor Doom Annual 1998)
1985! (X-Men / Doctor Doom Annual 1998)
1999! (X-Men / Doctor Doom Annual 1998)
1993! (X-Men / Doctor Doom Annual 1998)
Still 1993, but we had to include the Hate Goblin. (X-Men / Doctor Doom Annual 1998)
More 1993. Doom needs a bigger vacuum cleaner. (X-Men / Doctor Doom Annual 1998)
NEXT TIME: Miles talks X-Retail with Katie Pryde of Books With Pictures!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

442 – MimeQuest 64

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In which Marrow remains a connoisseur of dead rats; Jay has opinions about the NYC Subway system; U.L.T.I.M.A.T.U.M. are snazzy dressers; Doctor Doom gets excited about Onslaught; Magneto can have a rocket pack if he wants; villainous game recognizes villainous game; weird retcons are the best retcons; and you should totally come to our birthday party.

X-PLAINED:

  • A peculiar side effect of Wolverine’s healing factor
  • Jay & Miles on Bluesky (and other social media)
  • Our upcoming 10th birthday party and live show (and related announcements)
  • X-Men Unlimited #22
  • X-Men/Doctor Doom Annual 1998
  • An unpleasant way to wake up
  • That’s so Kraven
  • Avengers and transit cops
  • U.L.T.I.M.A.T.U.M.
  • Flag Smasher
  • Some miscellaneous New York Subway trivia
  • Audience stand-ins (and how the reading experience changes when the audience stand-in isn’t human-passing)
  • Additional New York Subway trivia
  • Premonitions of Onslaught
  • An X-Men highlight reel
  • A delightful little retcon
  • One way to ruin X-Men #137
  • Healing factor preferences

NEXT EPISODE: Miles and Katie Pryde X-Plain Comics Retail!

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RSVP to our birthday shenanigans!

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As Mentioned in Episode 375 – One Thousand Kicks to the Face

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So many textures! (X-Men #60)
Ororo, you’re a good enough thief that you could probably afford clothes without holes in them… or is that a style thing? (X-Men #60)
I mean, this is definitely implying that Storm ran around the bronze age with Candra’s Heart as a fashion accessory, right? (X-Men #60)
“Dammit Ororo, did you learn nothing from my brother?!” (X-Men #60)
Candra as shibari lobster once more, now with ear-mandibles! (X-Men #60)
Remember that one Punisher movie where Frank set a bunch of cars on fire in the shape of a big skull? That was kinda cool. (X-Men #60)
Tiny mustache or shadow – you be the judge! (X-Men #60)
I know the Shadow King is supposed to be dead at this point, but that has to be him! Look at the speech bubble borders! (X-Men #60)
Suddenly, ninjas. (X-Men #61)
Ooh, nice visual flow. (X-Men #61)
“As opposed to that time I had kidney stones, which was only about three hundred kicks to the face!” (X-Men #61)
Logan is tasting the air like a snake! (X-Men #61)
Storm gets Candra’s hopes up… (X-Men #61)
…before Cyclops ZARKs them upon the rocks. That’s cold, guys. (X-Men #61)
Is it, though? (X-Men Unlimited #14)
Matching nightshirts! (X-Men Unlimited #14)
Whoa. Nicely done, Jim Cheung. (X-Men Unlimited #14)
Idyllic! (X-Men Unlimited #14)
Never change, Artie. (X-Men Unlimited #14)
Ever see Children of the Corn, Joe? (X-Men Unlimited #14)
I wish everyone had a dad this supportive. (X-Men Unlimited #14)
No moppet should moppet alone! (X-Men Unlimited #14)
NEXT TIME: Back to Asgard!

 

375 – One Thousand Kicks to the Face

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In which there is definitely a wrong way to enjoy your comics; Storm could probably use a more secure storage system; the Externals need more camp; and Joseph makes some valid points.

X-PLAINED

  • What Storm’s up to
  • X-Men Unlimited #7 (again) (briefly)
  • X-Men #60-61
  • X-Men Unlimited #14
  • Karima
  • Jamil
  • Candra (again)
  • A surprising absence of Howard Mackie
  • Candra’s heart
  • Some excessively complex psychic powers
  • Phylacteries
  • The origin of Storm’s romance with T’Challa
  • Kicks to the face as a unit of pain
  • Undercloaks
  • The alternate universe where the McCoys live in Indiana
  • The moppet squad (again)
  • Dunfee, IN
  • Yet another angry mob
  • Multiverse-variable powers
  • Favorite X-relationships

Correction: The Brandalorian let us know that “Phylacteries (tefillin) are not Chasidic; they’re a ritual object mentioned by the Torah, used by Jews of all sorts.” Apologies for our error, and we appreciate the correction!

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force goes to Asgard!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop! This month, TeePublic is matching our sales with a donation to Equality Florida!!!

As Mentioned in Episode 363 – Licked by a Shadow

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
It’s hard to be Warren Kenneth Worthington III. (Uncanny X-Men #338)
Hey, feathers! (Uncanny X-Men #338)
Peep those teeny peepers! (Uncanny X-Men #338)
YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN? SHE’S TOTALLY POUNCING ON PSYLOCKE! (Uncanny X-Men #338)
That’s our J. Jonah Jameson! (Uncanny X-Men #338)
Guys. GUYS. (Uncanny X-Men #338)
Ouch. (X-Men #58)
In which William Drake has a rare moment of conscience. (X-Men #58)
Rogue can’t sleep without dramatic irony. (X-Men #58)
“What do kids like these days? Dirtbikes, right?) (X-Men Annual 1996)
Well, that’ll ruin a baseball game. (X-Men Annual 1996)
Aw, man. (X-Men Annual 1996)
Can we discuss the apparent existence of X-Beer? (X-Men Annual 1996)
ALLL RIIIGHT indeed. (X-Men Annual 1996)
LOOK AT ALL THOSE X-MANS! (X-Men Annual 1996)
NEXT EPISODE: Pryde & Wisdom

363 – Licked by a Shadow

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which standing in fields looking confused is a way of life; Psylocke gets a new superpower; when you gotta confess you gotta confess; Iceman’s dad stands up for justice; we mourn a Sentinel; and it’s probably a good thing that most companies don’t do mind melds as a team-building exercise.

X-PLAINED:

  • Levels of mutant power
  • Omicron-level mutations
  • Miles’s brief baseball career
  • Uncanny X-Men #338
  • X-Men #58
  • X-Men Annual 1996
  • Archangel’s wings
  • Joseph vs. Holographic Magneto
  • Shadow teleportation
  • The errand theory of confession
  • Graydon Creed (more) (again)
  • “Drake Roberts” and “Samson Guthry”
  • Several ways to memorialize the Mutant Massacre
  • Onslaught, but an anteater
  • A fight
  • Several JJJ cameos
  • X-baseball games
  • A highly atypical Sentinel
  • Several oblique warnings
  • X-Men ‘97
  • Media inspired by the X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Pryde & Wisdom

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 359 – Meanwhile in Britain

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Wraparound cover! (Excalibur #100)
Her eyes really did look cooler before. (Excalibur #100)
Do not try this at home. (Excalibur #100)
I’d read an odd-couple comic about these two. (Excalibur #100)
The media X-Plains Onslaught. (Excalibur #101)
He bullshits so well! (Excalibur #101)
Aw, Cap. (Excalibur #102)
Well, that’s foreboding. (Excalibur #102)
You almost–almost–feel sorry for the bad guys. (Excalibur #102)
That’s a lot of Nightcrawlers! (Excalibur #103)
Also some Shadowcats and Colossuses! (Excalibur #103)
Meanwhile in Limbo… (Excalibur #103)
NEXT EPISODE: This nonsense.

LINKS & FURTHER BACKSTORY

359 – Meanwhile in Britain

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Excalibur has a lot going on; Margali Szardos is never up to any good; Nightcrawler grows into leadership; we delve into the politics of superheroism; Pete Wisdom earns his keep; Miles catches a Prisoner reference; and we reach the end of Warren Ellis’ Excalibur.

X-PLAINED:

  • John the Skrull
  • Excalibur #100-103
  • The current state of Excalibur
  • Black Air (again)
  • The Hellfire Club (London Branch)
  • Australia
  • Margali Szardos (more)
  • Demonic ethernet
  • Captain Britain’s new-old suit
  • Emma Steed
  • Dune
  • Several fights
  • Combat IT
  • Boolean definitions of madness
  • The Department
  • Laserdisks
  • Patriotism
  • Many doppelgangers
  • Nightcreeper
  • Another reference to Dante’s Inferno

NEXT EPISODE: Some absolute nonsense

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 357 – The Semiotics of Regret

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
This cover accomplishes what it sets out to do so beautifully… (Uncanny X-Men #337)
…as does its credits page. (Uncanny X-Men #337)
Nothing is entirely okay here. (Uncanny X-Men #337)
Hank, no. (Uncanny X-Men #337)
And wistfulness for dessert. (Uncanny X-Men #337)
Ah, that cover. Again. (X-Men #57)
Versions of this have been used roughly a zillion times; but it always works. (X-Men #57)
The 616, where televisions always flip through the most scene-appropriate clips. (X-Men #57)
Clean up your damn flechettes, Warren Kenneth Worthington III. (X-Men #57)
(He’s not covered in water; it’s the anti-psy field and the evocation of Days of Future Past.) (Onslaught Epilogue #1)
Not… the Rainbow Bears?! (Onslaught Epilogue #1)
Hi, kiddo. (Onslaught Epilogue #1)
Psychology is… different, here. (Onslaught Epilogue #1)
Sure, why not? (Onslaught Epilogue #1)
NEXT EPISODE: GIANT-SIZE WINTER SPECIAL, feat. Jonathan Hickman!

As Mentioned in Episode 356 – The Michael Bay-eux Tapestry

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
The 90s-est Rogue in the 90s-est crossover. (X-Men #56)
“Who but I could pose so impressively?” (X-Men #56)
“SENTINEL TZ-031 REPORTING TO HELP YOU MAKE YOUR POINT, SIR” (X-Men #56)
This Onslaught-form may mostly be a retcon to justify past artistic inconsistency – but damn it looks awesome. (X-Men #56)
“And not even one of them told me the actually-important parts of AoA’s whole deal.” (X-Men #56)
Kubert gets so much credit for making a quiet conversation this visually riveting. (X-Men #56)
“You may be a hybrid monstrosity composed of the worst parts of both myself and my greatest frenemy, but at least you seem to have excellent dental hygiene.” (X-Men #56)
This cover kinda sums it up. And that’s not a bad thing. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Well shit. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Scott Summers, master tactician. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Goosebumps. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
The world’s greatest heroes versus a bright orange glow to the right of the two-page spread. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Hope, thy name is Moppet. Despair, thy name is x-treme teen. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
“And on that day, the heroes channeled their collective courage and dedication into a single blast of punching and yelling.” (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
BTOOM (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
I’m not crying you’re crying (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
*heavy metal horns* (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Thor, that’s not how it… oh, I guess it is. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Man, these two (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Nothing I can say will add to these panels. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
This shouldn’t work, but damn, it does. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
“In the meantime, I guess you could grab that universe-in-a-ball and learn contact juggling?” (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
NEXT TIME: Onslaught ends, for real.