Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: nudity

As Mentioned in Episode 450 – Live at the Clinton Street Theater

Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

A smooth criminal. (Uncanny X-Men #428)
X-Men: First Class: The Draco (Uncanny X-Men #428)
Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #428)
I love that Wolverine tries to stop nude Nightcrawler from stealing the plane by throwing a beer can at it. (Uncanny X-Men #429)
You’d think he could at least let the cafeteria staff know he was planning on sleeping in there. (Uncanny X-Men #429)
Annie, no. (Uncanny X-Men #429)
This Hell sucks. (Uncanny X-Men #431)
And then Mystique flew violently out of a child’s abdomen, in one of the less bizarre scenes in this story arc. (Uncanny X-Men #431)
Dinner in Hell. (Uncanny X-Men #432)
*grumble grumble Daimon Hellstrom grumble* (Uncanny X-Men #432)
So, that happened. (Uncanny X-Men #433)
Either, really. (Uncanny X-Men #434)
Ginniyeh is the only remotely adequate demon in this arc. (Uncanny X-Men #434)
Awkward. (Uncanny X-Men #434)
NEXT EPISODE: Business as usual.

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE

450 – Live at the Clinton Street Theater

6 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which we celebrate our tenth anniversary by X-Plaining what may be the most reviled X-arc; you should not try this at home; Mystique is so much better than this story; Azazel is a really boring devil; Nightcrawler should probably be missing a hand; the Xavier School definitely does not have an HR department; and we would prefer that you not pee on Iceman.

X-PLAINED:

  • Nightcrawler’s (most recent) parentage
  • Uncanny X-Men #428-434
  • X-Men Blue: Origins #1
  • The X-Men, like, in general
  • Nightcrawler (Kurt Wagner)
  • Some narrative choices
  • Mystique
  • Baron Christian Wagner
  • Marvel Europe
  • Azazel
  • Church sex
  • Nightstreaker
  • Isla des Demonas
  • Foibles of Warren Kenneth Worthington III
  • Annie and Carter Ghazikhanian
  • Abyss
  • Kiwi Black
  • The Cheyarafim and Neyaphem
  • Bad times with psychic therapy
  • Post-traumatic supervillainy
  • Uncool Hell
  • A miracle of magnetism
  • The only cool thing in Uncool Hell
  • A very elegant retcon
  • X-Muppets
  • Characters who deserve more page space
  • Miles’s favorite X-Person
  • What the Worthington Corporation does
  • A character who could reasonably be Azazel’s kid

NEXT EPISODE: Back to X-business as usual!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 448 – Skamageddon

Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

The two Emma Frosts: Shadowy and Pouty. (X-Force #87)
James Proudstar x-plains Uncanny X-Men #281. (X-Force #87)
Reconnecting via X-Factoring. (X-Force #87)
Now that is a lair. (X-Force #87)
Magma’s back! And she’s a jerk! (X-Force #87)
Meet Paradigm. (X-Force #87)
The New New Mutants vs. the New Hellions. New. (X-Force #88)
We can accept covering Empath’s face with word balloons – but hey, show some respect to Firestar! (X-Force #88)
Feral’s back – just in time to wreck Jay’s voice again! (And Siryn’s, but we’ll get to that later.) (X-Force #88)
Life got complicated since the last time these two saw each other. (X-Force #88)
X-Force’s x-treme tactics have just saved us like half an issue of misunderstandings! (X-Force #88)
The techno-organic virus: bad for free will and not great for skin health. (X-Force #88)
Paradigm x-plains X-Force. (X-Force #89)
This party sucks! (X-Force #89)
Blood relation has no inherent virtue. (X-Force #89)
Aww, there’s plenty of logic! Just look at the little manual that comes with most Tarot decks! (X-Force #89)
Among Dani’s new powers is the ability to turn robot-guys into eggs. (X-Force #89)
Kind of a weird font choice. Times New Armageddon? (X-Force #89)
Feral never misses an opportunity to learn the worst possible lesson. (X-Force #90)
Tarot, is that really a new manifestation of your mutant power, or did you just rob a Spirit Halloween? (X-Force #90)
Welp, I guess the entire West coast is completely demolished and will take decades to rebuild. Funny how no other comics have mentioned that… (X-Force #90)
Sorry, Jesse. Your brother is the absolute worst. (X-Force #90)
Sam Guthrie: annoying people into virtue since 1980-something. (X-Force #90)
BADDA BOOM (X-Force #90)
Aww. (X-Force #90)
NEXT TIME: Talking X-costumes with Russell Dauterman!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

448 – Skamageddon

5 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Feral’s back – just in time to wreck Jay’s voice again! (And Siryn’s, but we’ll get to that later.) (X-Force #88)

In which timeline math is almost never worth it; Tarot comes back from the dead (kind of) (maybe); Magma makes a heel turn; “King Bedlam” would be a great name for a ska band; not every nude man can turn into a bear; and you don’t have to talk to your supervillain relatives.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Triune Understanding
  • Birthday party follow-up
  • X-Force #87-90
  • Legacy and continuity
  • Bedlam (Jesse Aaronson)
  • Tarot (Marie-Ange Colbert)
  • Goat Simulator
  • King Bedlam (Christopher Aaronson)
  • The New Hellions
  • Perils of body-swapping
  • Linear time
  • Science
  • Armageddon Man
  • Paradigm
  • Senator Owen Danville
  • Family
  • A fancy hat
  • Madame Web
  • Many natural disasters
  • Early Genoshan history
  • Longshot as a villain

NEXT EPISODE: Dressing the X-Men with Russell Dauterman!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 244 – Terminal Nudity

2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
You can tell he’s evil because he’s the only assassin who… wears black? (Gambit #1)
“And how is your mustache?!” (Gambit #1)
Wolverine is basically the Mary Worth of the X-Men. (Gambit #1)
…Okay, yeah, I get why he’s kind of cool. (Gambit #1)
You can tell the captions are serious business because of the fake torn edges. (Gambit #1)
It seems weird that the first thing he did was throw his coat over her. That’s weird, right? (Gambit #2)
Maybe the accents skip a generation. (Gambit #2)
They have fun. (Gambit #2)
The Tithe Collector knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men! (Gambit #2)
No, seriously, look at this Shadow-looking dude. (Gambit #2)
Fashion! (Gambit #3)
Well played. (Gambit #3)
I just really love that he changes into THIS for infiltration. (Gambit #3)
Candra got over pants centuries ago. (Gambit #3)
It’s cool that she survives and everything; but, ew. (Gambit #4)
Remy “John Constantine” LeBeau. (Gambit #3)
NEXT EPISODE: Rogue’s turn!

LINKS & FURTHER DRAMA:

  • Jay is writing a thing that may be relevant to your interests in the intersection of Marvel and audio.
  • We first encountered the T’ieves’ Guild in Episode 194 – Brood Trouble in the Big Easy.
  • Go watch Intacto; it’s brilliant.
  • The Thief of Always is basically Clive Barker in Ray Bradbury drag. It’s not going to blow your mind; but it’s a fun read.
  • As a gloomy ’90s teen, Jay was of course very into The Crow; which holds up surprisingly well. It can’t rain all the time!

 

244 – Terminal Nudity

18 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which X-Men don’t get to take vacations; Jay makes a somewhat belated announcement; sometimes Gambit is legitimately pretty cool; the assassins get a day-glo-up; The Crow holds up surprisingly well; Gambit gets exiled again; and Artie and Leech damn well better get to live happily ever after.

X-PLAINED:

  • Rogue and Gambit’s honeymoon
  • A thing that Jay is working on
  • Brood Trouble in the Big Easy
  • Bella Donna Boudreaux
  • Gambit #1-4
  • The New Orleans trilogy
  • “X-Ternally Yours”
  • The tithe collector
  • Things about which your mama may or may not have warned you
  • Dramatic captions
  • Candra
  • The Thieves’ and Assassins’ Guilds
  • The pact
  • Julian Boudreaux (again)
  • Henri LeBeau and his mustache
  • Critical nudity
  • Terminal nudity
  • Marius Boudreaux
  • Accent inconsistencies
  • Draping
  • Jean Luc LeBeau
  • Treachery most foul
  • (Select elements of) Gamit’s origin story
  • How thieves get kids
  • Gambit as a romantic hero
  • Ungrateful children of the Marvel Universe
  • Petite Chou
  • Clubbing with Gambit
  • Subtlety (for some value of the term)
  • Lifestyles of the rich and immortal
  • The Church of Lost Thieves
  • The Elixir of Life
  • An undersold side effect
  • A very lucky break
  • Artie and Leech’s probable adult lives
  • Villains we’d like to see on the X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Rogue!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 176 – My Flashback With Andre

8 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
This guyyyyyyyyy! (Wolverine #48)
JUBILEE, NO. God, she’s not even wearing any safety gear. (Wolverine #48)
That, Jubilee, is a Lotus 7. Your mentor’s car. Not as clumsy or overwrought as a DeLorean. An elegant media reference… for a more civilized age. (Wolverine #48)
THAT IS A TERRIBLE WAY TO SHOW SOMEONE THE GUN YOU FOUND. (Wolverine #48)
Actually, Jubilee, Wolverine is 100% in the right here. (Wolverine #48)
No one should ever make this show under any circumstances. (Wolverine #48)
Spoiler: No funky butts are in fact dispensated. (Wolverine #48)
Toldja! It’s Lee Harvey Oswald and Jack Ruby! (Wolverine #49)
WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST WRITE HER NAME FIRST? IT WOULD HAVE FIT! (Wolverine #49)
The calendar is a little silly, but it’s also an incredibly eerie, cool detail. (Wolverine #49)
“I am not a number! I am a free man!” (Wolverine #49)
Sure, it’s a gimmick; but it’s a cool gimmick! (Wolverine #50)
LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL, RIDICULOUS BASTARD AND HIS BEAUTIFUL, RIDICULOUS MOTORCYCLE. (Wolverine #50)
In Hines’s defense, Canada-616 is absolutely terrible. (Wolverine #50)
…and you, in turn, watch the Hydra operatives; as the NSA watches you; and… (Wolverine #50)
I take this to mean that somewhere there’s a splinter universe where Wolverine had an idyllic but ultimately tragic dalliance with a giant artichoke. (Wolverine #50)
HOW MANY YEARS HAS THAT PIECE OF CAKE BEEN SITTING THERE? (Wolverine #50)
I like the idea that the BIG SECRET isn’t that they faked his memories but that they had to reuse sets because of budget constraints. (Wolverine #50)
Sure you are, buddy. (Wolverine #50)
TWIST! (Wolverine #50)
I appreciate the implication that the ultimate horror is a high school prom. (Wolverine #50)
Aw, Logan. Never change. (Wolverine #50)
NEXT EPISODE: Centaur fight at the State Fair (and other educational adventures)!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING

176 – My Flashback With Andre

65 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we were on public radio; it’s probably best just to ignore Romulus; Miles still hasn’t seen the Prisoner and should be very ashamed of himself; toy licensing is the stuff of nightmares; you can upgrade your bloodbath for an additional $1.25; Jay may or may not have family ties to Weapon X; we are suckers for die-cut covers; Wolverine knows how to commit to a gag; and you have some pretty remarkable dreams.

X-PLAINED:

  • Wolverine’s CIA contacts
  • Murder-related birthday traditions
  • Wolverine #48-50
  • The ship Righteous Indignation and the ‘ship Righteous Indignation
  • Wolverine size creep
  • Injudicious footwear
  • Serial sidekicks
  • Miles’s continual failure to watch The Prisoner
  • The Summers Crash model of flashbacks
  • Panties and/or grenades
  • Several varyingly reliable flashbacks
  • How memory works
  • Mastodon
  • Andre
  • How memory doesn’t really work
  • Kids’ toy licensing
  • Quasimodo’s hangout
  • Women in Refrigerators
  • Secret agent skills
  • The Dalton school of argument
  • A legitimately cool cover gimmick
  • Wolverine vs. the Helicarrier
  • Adamantium handicrafts
  • Shiva (but not that one)
  • Silver Fox (again) (kind of)
  • A cataclysmic memory backlash
  • Antarctic X-Hijinks
  • Jay & Miles’s adventures in YOUR DREAMS

NEXT EPISODE: Centaurs of Texas

CORRECTION: Kyle Rayner’s girlfriend was the source of the Women In Refrigerator’s trope–not Hal Jordan’s, as Jay stated in this episode.

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 162 – Naked in Canada

7 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Come to our RCCC party and meetup! Details here!
This story looks cheerful! (Marvel Comics Presents #72)
Oho, I see what you did, there, Barry Windsor-Smith! (Marvel Comics Presents #72)
(The indefinite article, not Ororo Munroe.) (Marvel Comics Presents #72)
“Why did you resign?” (Marvel Comics Presents #73)
That palette! (Marvel Comics Presents #73)
The Professor is a huge jerk. (Marvel Comics Presents #74)
Wolverine’s self-image is… somewhat alarming. (Marvel Comics Presents #76)
Terrific use of sound effects, either way. (Marvel Comics Presents #77)
Hell, as designed by Lisa Frank. (Marvel Comics Presents #78)
That linework, though! (Marvel Comics Presents #79)
I know it’s supposed to be an alarm, but I can’t shake the idea that Wolverine is just yelling “AAOOOGAH” over and over. (Marvel Comics Presents #80)
Seriously, what an asshole. (Marvel Comics Presents #81)
Well, shit. (Marvel Comics Presents #82)
Even a functionally feral Wolverine knows that ninjas can’t catch you if you’re on fire! (Marvel Comics Presents #83)
This man has literally no redeeming characteristics. (Marvel Comics Presents #83)
Get good and at home, Wolverine, because you’re gonna be spending a lot of time in variations on this scenario. (Marvel Comics Presents #84)
And then, things got weird. Weirder. Differently weird. (Marvel Comics Presents #84)
The twist was the lack of twist that turned out to be the actual twist! (Marvel Comics Presents #84)
I’m still not entirely sure whether this is supposed to have happened for real or not; and that’s why I love this story. (Marvel Comics Presents #84)
THAT. PALETTE. (Marvel Comics Presents #84)
WOW. (Marvel Comics Presents #84)
Next Episode: More MCP, featuring “God’s Country” and “The Retribution Affair”!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

162 – Naked In Canada

49 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which almost everyone is better than Romulus; Barry Windsor-Smith continues to draw the best naked X-Men; Jay has strong feelings about Wolverine’s origins; Miles still hasn’t seen The Prisoner; when in doubt, it’s probably Kang the Conqueror and/or Mystique; we remain unqualified to give bear-fighting advice; you should not hide out in a nuclear reactor; and the Coffee-a-Go-Go has probably been turned into a new-wave sushi bar or something.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Professor (Truett Hudson)
  • Romulus
  • Jay & Miles at Rose City Comic Con
  • Marvel Comics Presents #72-84
  • “Weapon X”
  • Backstory attrition
  • A really good opening montage
  • Some very effective use of color
  • Healing hair
  • The original villain behind Weapon X
  • A retconned origin of Wolverine’s claws
  • Dr. Abraham Cornelius
  • Carol Hines
  • Terry Gilliam’s Weapon X
  • Audio vs. text-based mind control
  • An action figure in dubious taste
  • The Milgram Experiment
  • An adaptation we’d like to see
  • A bad place to hide
  • Subsequent “Weapon X” retcons
  • How Cyclops’s powers have (and haven’t) developed
  • Jay’s general failure at X-tourism

NEXT WEEK: More MCP, featuring “The Retribution Affair” and “God’s Country”!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)