Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: nightcrawler

218 – Careful What You Lick

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which X-Cutioner’s Song may be over, but its repercussions continue; Uncanny X-Men hits a major milestone; superhero comics are and always have been political; Bishop learns to banter; the X-Men gain an unlikely ally; and Magneto remains exceptionally difficult to kill.

X-PLAINED:

  • Jay & Miles at VVCBF
  • Uncanny X-Men #298-300
  • The Acolytes (more) (again)
  • The Upstarts (more) (again)
  • Several important lessons
  • A very fancy room
  • A very fancy brain
  • The unpleasant fate of Sharon Friedlander
  • The all-new, all-different Acolytes
  • Carmella Unuscione
  • The return of one of our favorite antagonists
  • A sick burn
  • The fate of Asteroid M
  • Molting
  • A debate
  • Graydon Creed (more) (again)
  • The tentative redemption of Robert Kelly
  • How to lose a debate with Joe Biden
  • A large number of prescient political references
  • Friends of Humanity
  • How to engage with a fascist in a televised debate
  • Noah DuBois
  • Fatale
  • A generic rural mob
  • Milan
  • A narratively convenient superpower
  • Amelia Voght
  • Seamus Mellencamp
  • Neophyte
  • The gospel of Magneto
  • A joyous reunion
  • The helmet that wouldn’t die
  • Ponytail ethics
  • Timelust
  • Several accents
  • The current state of Rogue’s powers

NEXT EPISODE: All Emma All Episode (feat. Seanan McGuire, Leah Williams, and more)!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 215 – Mon de Orb Uno

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
While this cover may be the first story page, it still follows the general rule of Excalibur covers: It’s funny when bad things happen to Captain Britain. (Excalibur #55)
Aw, they look so fancy! (Excalibur #55)
Alan Davis hair: expressive AND extra! (Excalibur #55)
HIS FOOT POPPED. (Excalibur #55)
Remember this plot thread? Alan Davis does. Alan Davis remembers EVERY plot thread. It is his blessing and his curse. (Excalibur #55)
Speaking of threads… (Excalibur #55)
This is both an excellent disguise and a quality Cross-Time Caper callback. (Excalibur #56)
Oof. (Excalibur #56)
This party is the worst. (Excalibur #56)
Captain Britain X-Plains the Plot. (Excalibur #56)
(There’s a lot of plot.)(Excalibur #56)
On one hand, Sat-Yr-9 is very evil. On the other hand, this is still very satisfying. (Excalibur #56)
Meggan is so badass. (Excalibur #56)
There’s a Monty Python sketch about this. (Excalibur #56)
“Next, you eat the banana, thus disarming him!” (Excalibur #56)
Too little, too late, Nick. (Excalibur #56)
Remember this kid? ALAN DAVIS DOES! (Excalibur #57)
KITTY, NO. (Excalibur #57)
Cyclops X-Plains X-Factor #41-42. (Excalibur #57)
(And so forth.) (Excalibur #57)
I don’t know why this is a thing. It doesn’t actually impact the story in any significant way. (Excalibur #57)
GAMBIT, NO. (Excalibur #57)
These jerks, again. (Excalibur #58)
This is a ruse, except for the part about Cyclops’s secret boot radio, because Cyclops is a nerd. (Excalibur #58)
I really, really want to know more about Margaret. (Excalibur #58)
TEAM-UP! (Excalibur #58)
Amazing what they cover in undergrad chemistry programs these days. (Excalibur #58)
JUST USE THE PHONE YOU RIDICULOUS PEOPLE (Excalibur #58)
And they all lived happily ever after! (Excalibur #58)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. therapy, with guest X-Pert Dr. Andrea Letamendi!

LINKS & FURTHER MISADVENTURES

215 – Mon de Orb Uno

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we finally emerge from the other side of X-Cutioner’s Song; rich people are different from us; Brian Braddock is probably not comfortable with menstruation; Dai Thomas cleans up pretty well; someone FINALLY remembers Sat-Yr-9; Psylocke knows how to defend herself from a man armed with a banana; the (non-Internet) trolls return; and we are fairly sure that Gambit does not actually speak French.

X-PLAINED:

  • Winzeldorf
  • Excalibur (so far)
  • Excalibur #55-58
  • Lip massage
  • The death of Alysande Stuart
  • A banana fight
  • Alchemy (again)
  • Many trolls
  • A fairly joyous reunion
  • The Brussels Sewer Museum
  • A fake heel turn
  • Our hopes and worries for the New Mutants movie
  • Comics covers

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. Therapy, with Guest X-Pert Dr. Andrea Letamendi!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 206 – Anatomy of a Phoenix

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Tuesday, basically. (Excalibur #51)
Meet the Excalibur of Earth-99476! (Excalibur #51)
This Sauron’s opinions on jorts are never canonically established, but I think we all know. (Excalibur #51)
I see what you did there, Davis. (Excalibur #51)
Ka-Zar, Lord of the Savage Land! (Excalibur #51)
The Fantastic Five! (Excalibur #51)
There is definitely an alternate universe that is the same as 616 in every way except that Dai Thomas ended this call by yelling, “The Aristocrats!” (Excalibur #51)
It’s true. I will pretty much always pay to watch the X-Men beat up Professor X. (Excalibur #52)
You know it’s an illusion because none of them is wearing a plaid suit. (Excalibur #52)
Several aspects of Rachel’s backstory as presented in this issue will be retconned away, but this is the most significant of those. (Excalibur #52)
WELL THAT EXPLAINS A THING OR TWO (Excalibur #52)
And then they went to space. For like a year. (Excalibur #52)
That’s our Brian! (Excalibur #54)
Spoiler: Kitty is cutting off his cast and it’s itchy. (Excalibur #54)
That’s our Brian! (Excalibur #54)
Oh, man, can you imagine Meggan at Disney World? I bet she has THE MOST fun and also gets asked to leave very quickly. (Excalibur #54)
It seems kind of ridiculous that he jumps straight to “must be an illusion” after everything he’s seen, but… That’s our Brian! (Excalibur #54)
I love the Crazy Gang and very much want them to be happy. (Excalibur #54)
The best kind of twist ending! (Excalibur #54)
The mystery deepens and gets even cooler-looking. (Excalibur #54)
As promised, here is a photograph of two-year-old Jay dressed as a compsognathus.
NEXT EPISODE: Cable: Blood and Metal!

LINKS & ADDITIONAL FUN:

206 – Anatomy of a Phoenix

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which you should all come see us at FlameCon; all lizards are good lizards; we recap a recap; the Phoenix force is really complicated; Earth-99476 may or may not be the secret history of Earth-616; Alan Davis takes on continuity; the X-Men fail to save the day; the Phoenix says its piece; Rachel takes a vacation in space; Captain Britain doesn’t like to be psychoanalyzed; and the Crazy Gang gets a happy ending.

X-PLAINED:

  • Evil Shadowcats
  • Jay & Miles at FlameCon
  • Excalibur #51, 52, and 54
  • A brief history of Excalibur
  • The Phoenix Force
  • A recap of a recap
  • What this episode isn’t covering
  • Lizard Excalibur
  • The most meta t-shirt in the multiverse
  • Several long-ago Halloween costumes
  • Dinosaurs of Earths-616 and -99476
  • National Lampoon Vacation apocrypha
  • Earth-99476 and its Savage Land
  • The Fantastic Five
  • A vow of vengeance
  • Feron as an antecedent to Kubark
  • Alan Davis’s modern authorial counterpart
  • A telepathic journey
  • The full history of the Phoenix Force (as established circa 1991)
  • Inherited vs. inherent mutant powers (and a No-Prize explanation thereof)
  • The rehabilitation of Rachel Summers
  • Several retcons yet to come
  • Jean Grey’s inconsistent relationship to the Phoenix Force
  • A mysterious disappearance
  • What the Crazy Gang has been up to
  • The nicest kind of twist
  • A very easy way to make Kitty Pryde textually queer
  • Differentiating X-teams
  • The X-Plain Discord
  • Strong Guy’s new hobby

NEXT EPISODE: Cable: Blood & Metal

UPDATE: Not only can birds see color, but they can see a wider spectrum than humans. THE MORE YOU KNOW!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 198 – How to Destroy the Universe Without Really Trying

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Alas, the Walter Simonson cover is a false alarm. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
Sweet threads, Brigadier! (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
Life Model Decoy life is hard. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
At this point, she should really just change her code name to “Ripley.” (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
Thiiiiiiiiis guy. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
“Maybe, like, a buck fifty?” (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
And that’s why we don’t experiment on ourselves, Dr. Cayre. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
Air-Walker is a cyborg who loves his work. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
And now, a whole bunch of Lockheed making really good shifty faces! (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
Seriously, it’s basically just this for like six images. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
What, you thought I was joking? (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
I was not joking. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
(Okay, fine, I also threw in a Captain Britain suit on fire.) (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
But here’s one more Lockheed, for good measure! (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
“Remember when I basically destroyed the universe? Good times!” (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
Well, it’s no Excalibur #41 or 52, but I guess it’ll do. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
He’s got style, I’ll give him that. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
Doom is a tough audience. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
Scott Summers: hopelessly uncool in just about any time period. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
World War II Angel may in fact be the best Angel. Dang! (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
But what could it be?! (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
IT’S A HONKER OF DOOM! (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
Sure, why not? (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
This is one of those costumes that really only works in specific art styles; but this is one of them. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
I mean, he is kind of a notorious dick… (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
He died as he lived: crushed under a tower of word balloons. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
That Kitty and Bobby briefly dated later makes this much funnier. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
NEXT EPISODE: Shattershot!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

 

198 – How to Destroy the Universe Without Really Trying

41 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Excalibur goes 16-bit platformer; Alysande gets new threads; Shadowcat should probably just change her code name to Ripley; Captain Britain may or may not destroy the universe; Doctor Doom tries his hand at human resources; Excalibur is at home with weirdness; and no lizard needs breasts.

X-PLAINED:

  • Invisible Boy
  • Human heralds of Galactus
  • Excalibur Special Editions
  • Excalibur: Air Apparent
  • Excalibur: XX Crossing
  • Dr. Jonothon Cayre
  • Norm the LMD
  • Lava pits of Scotland
  • Some dubious herpetology
  • Eric the Cyborg (Coldblood-7)
  • Robert Cop
  • Special Man
  • Air-Walker and/or Gabriel Lam
  • A cosmic explosion
  • Captain Britain’s extra costume
  • Sidestep
  • An exceptionally awkward job interview
  • A counterintuitive plan
  • The other time-displaced X-Men
  • The best version of Angel
  • Angel’s third-greatest nemesis
  • Gladiator Hank
  • A very fancy vest
  • The best Excalibur Special Edition
  • The Phalanx vs. the Technarchy
  • Warlock vs. gender
  • Our thoughts on Avengers: Infinity War

Note: according to the letter column from Excalibur #54, at least some of the art credits for Excalibur: XX Crossing were incorrect, so some of our descriptions of who drew what in this episode are wrong. See the comments below for more information!

NEXT EPISODE: Shattershot!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 192 – Meet the N-Men

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
All-new, all-different! (Excalibur #45)
And that’s why you don’t bring Technet on a stakeout. (Excalibur #45)
LOOK AT THESE DELIGHTFUL INDIVIDUALS (Excalibur #45)
She’s not wrong. (Excalibur #45)
Really, really good use of shadows, there. (Excalibur #45)
MEET THE N-MEN! (Excalibur #45)
Remember this guy. He’s gonna be a major antagonist. (Excalibur #45)
Ah, Joyboy, we hardly knew thee. (Excalibur #45)
Meggan contains multitudes. (Excalibur #46)
Aw, Zombie Thor looks so happy to be there. (Excalibur #46)
If things like peeing in solitude are important to you, you should probably not join Excalibur. (Excalibur #46)
Nightcrawler: canonically EXTRA heroic. (Excalibur #46)
*Rimshot* (Excalibur #46)
Sparkly! (Excalibur #46)
Meggan’s true form has SERIOUS hair. (Excalibur #46)
Aw, Widget. (Excalibur #46)
One of the all-time classic Excalibur covers. (Excalibur #47)
THE GREATEST LOVE STORY IN COMICS. (Excalibur #47)
Hi, Cerise! (Excalibur #47)
Damnit, Merlyn. This is why we can’t have nice things.(Excalibur #47)
Kurt, if you don’t know which book you’re in by now, I don’t know what to tell you. (Excalibur #47)
They do this with THE WHOLE STORY, and it warms my shriveled heart. (Excalibur #47)
NEXT EPISODE: A Bishop in the house!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

192 – Meet the N-Men

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Alan Davis’s Excalibur is a spiritual sibling to The Muppet Show; Captain Britain gets a Captain Britain lesson; Opal Luna Saturnyne has no time for your nonsense; Meggan and Rachel take a brief detour into a Hammer film; Earth-148 is extra heroic; no member of Excalibur will ever use a bathroom in peace; Cerise joins the team; Technet embraces the future; and the end of the world is nigh.

X-PLAINED:

  • Pixie’s powers and parentage
  • Several eccentricities of Jay’s apartment
  • Excalibur #45-47
  • Earth-148 (Ee’rath)
  • Comics pacing vs. podcast pacing
  • Technet (more) (again)
  • Amelia Witherspoon and several references related thereto
  • The N-Men
  • How to Captain Britain
  • The multiversal significance of the lighthouse
  • A portentous chess game
  • A particularly aggressive retcon
  • The return of the Neuri
  • The real Meggan
  • Necrom
  • A heroic death
  • The true curse of Excalibur
  • Some very specific citations
  • A reunion
  • Kylun (Colin McKay)
  • A blessed event
  • Cerise
  • Whether Rogue can control Cyclops’s powers
  • Laura Kinney’s upcoming reversion to X-23

NEXT EPISODE: Bishop joins the X-Men!

ENTIRELY IRRELEVANT UPDATE: The wall on which Jay was attempting to mount a desk turned out to be plaster over sheetrock. Office plans are being revised accordingly.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)