Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Neena Thurman

255 – Rules of the Game

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Upstarts are the worst at Calvinball; Moonstar remains a non-mystery; Speedball gets a new costume; Shinobi Shaw never gets to finish a bath; Gamesmaster comes perilously close to getting context; Cable gets a new superpower; and Rahne Sinclair is too good for your crossover.

X-PLAINED:

  • The time Husk went evil
  • An anniversary
  • A guest appearance
  • X-Force #32-33
  • New Warriors #45-46
  • A crossover
  • A game
  • Younghunt
  • The semi-debut of Paige Guthrie
  • Deeply uncomfortable bathing-suit choices
  • A toy that never actually existed
  • The New Warriors
  • Justice (Vance Astrovik)
  • Night Thrasher (Dwayne Taylor)
  • Nova (Rich Rider)
  • Silhouette (Sil Chord)
  • Kymaera
  • Speedball (Robbie Baldwin)
  • Rage (Elvin Haliday)
  • Firestar (Angelica Jones) (more) (again)
  • A plan
  • Bantam
  • A lot of mind control
  • A very ambiguous game and its potential implications
  • Favorite ads
  • The narrative economy of resurrection

NEXT EPISODE: Mullets of time & space!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 246 – Foreshadow Puppets

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Four arms–and a conscience. (X-Force #27)
Does he just live in Gyrich’s garage? Or, like, under the lawn? (X-Force #27)
Too many muscles for one panel: The X-Force Story. (X-Force #27)
Who’s that? SURELY not Danielle Moonstar! (X-Force #27)
‘Kay. (X-Force #28)
And that’s the last we’ll see of Sunspot for a while. (X-Force #28)
Sometimes it’s like that. (X-Force #28)
Confirmed canonical: Shatterstar’s hair is independently mobile. (X-Force #29)
What happened to Sam, and who is this alarmingly beefy stranger? (X-Force #29)
Cable is leaning full into the Dad thing these days; and I, for one, am here for it. (X-Force #29)
I’m fairly sure that I saw this movie in an 8th-grade assembly. (X-Force #29)
Kids these days, amirite? (X-Force #29)
Based on her facial expression, I imagine her delivering this line in roughly the style of Aubrey Plaza as April Ludgate. (X-Force #29)
Sure thing, buddy. (X-Force #29)
Look at these angry, pointy boys. (X-Force #30)
So angry. So pointy. (X-Force #30)
Angry but not pointy. (X-Force #30)
“You’ll probably do okay; you’re not a major character.” (X-Force #30)
How much better would this issue have been if they’d done a skate-off? (X-Force #30)
Don’t worry, he’ll be fine. (X-Force #30)
Aw, look at him learning to person! (X-Force #30)
NEXT EPISODE: More spiky people yelling!

LINKS & FURTHER CONSUMABLES:

 

246 – Foreshadow Puppets

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Danielle Moonstar is not a master of disguise; the MLF are bad enough dudes to kidnap a guy who works near the president; Tempo wasn’t even supposed to be here today; Reignfire is no Magneto; we now desperately want X-Force matryoshka dolls; Feral quits the team; Henry Peter Gyrich fails to learn from experience (or anything else); small children are bad at everything; Shatterstar gets a tagline; Sam Guthrie REALLY needs a vacation; and it’s surprisingly difficult to choose a favorite resurrection.

X-PLAINED:

  • Cortex
  • The kinder, gentler Cable
  • Several matters related to Nicholas Cage
  • X-Force #27-30
  • Broome jaws
  • The Area jar
  • The Mutant Liberation Front
  • Reignfire (again)
  • Hardaway
  • A cyborg asshole
  • Locus
  • Moonstar
  • “Of Faith and Fable”
  • Foreshadow puppets
  • Bobby da Costa’s greatest fear
  • Dad jokes with Cable
  • X-Force’s day off
  • Shatterstar vs. Adam X the X-Treme
  • Windsong
  • An inevitable team-up
  • A Very Special Episode moment
  • The return of Wine Mom Domino
  • The return of Jean Grey’s telepathy
  • Our favorite resurrections

NEXT EPISODE: Sabretooth

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 228 – Thinkin’ Shorts

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I mean, it’s not that much worse than Botox. (Uncanny X-Men #301)
Of all the people Gamesmaster could choose to bring to the forefront of his mind, he chose these assholes. (Uncanny X-Men #301)
I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING (Uncanny X-Men #301)
Yes, yes, you’ve made some terrible mistakes, Forge – but at least you’re wearing those shorts again! (Uncanny X-Men #301)
Miles would totally buy that action figure. (Uncanny X-Men #301)
This is how you comic book. (Uncanny X-Men #301)
Damn, Romita. Damn, Storm. (Uncanny X-Men #302)
Just repeat to yourself: it’s just a show, I should really just relax! (Uncanny X-Men #302)
Plato called this “the noble lie”. (Uncanny X-Men #302)
You know, I guess that is about how you’d have to angle your hips if you were balancing on one leg because some green-haired jerk from the future cut off your other one. (Uncanny X-Men #302)
Should’ve known that guy was a racist asshole – look at the color of his baseball cap. (Uncanny X-Men #302)
Can’t blame the guy – for being furious or for pummeling Fitzroy. (Uncanny X-Men #302)
Yes, Jay, Kitty looks pretty weird in this panel, but – FEELINGS! (Uncanny X-Men #302)
Dammit, Friends of Humanity, give Madrox his outfit back! And also stop being murderous bigots! (X-Force #24)
Rusty and Skids have been focusing pretty hard on good posture since leaving the New Mutants. (X-Force #24)
Who has the worse employees, Sam Guthrie or Alex Summers? (X-Force #24)
“Thanks for holding me up while I practice my Liefeld kicks, buddy!” (X-Force #24)
Petey the Dog reference: $34.95. Improbable toaster gun: $1750.00. The look on Grizzly’s face: priceless.(X-Force #24)
Magneto is the best at Space Tetris. (X-Force #24)
Boom-Boom and Feral: best frenemies ever. (X-Force #24)
Remember, at least two of these characters used to train with X-Factor. (X-Force #24)
Boom-Boom and Feral: still the best frenemies ever. (X-Force #24)
Fair enough, kids. (X-Force #24)
Jay’s Warlock figure still kinda freaks Miles out.
Next time: our fifth annual Giant-Size Winter Special!

228 – Thinkin’ Shorts

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which it still sucks to be a Rasputin; John Romita Jr. has a solid, if muscular, grasp of anatomy; Jay and Miles are better exes than Forge and anyone; and Cannonball’s many younger siblings have almost prepared him for running X-Force.

X-PLAINED:

  • Peters Parker
  • The Merry X-Men Holiday Special
  • Comic book release schedules vs. J&MXPtXM
  • Uncanny X-Men #301-302
  • Trevor F**king Fitzroy, possibly the worst Upstart
  • Comics Code Authority closeting versus real-life closeting
  • 21st Century Torture Devices
  • Risky mood fonts
  • Robert’s Rules of Upstart Order (this week)
  • Gamesmaster vs. the Isolationist
  • Shinobi Shaw: Good At Sex
  • Russian tragedy (more, again)
  • Charles Xavier and his poor decisions
  • Shi’ar tech support
  • Pants and villainy
  • Racist jerks vs. rhetorical questions
  • TIME PARADOX
  • Weirdly specific contingencies
  • Piotr Rasputin and his justified fury
  • X-Force #24
  • Meaningless (but fun!) timestamps
  • The Friends of Humanity (who are not our friends)
  • Rusty and Skids’ latest arrest
  • Disappointed Dad Sam Guthrie
  • Action vs. public perception
  • Vinz Clortho
  • Domino’s continuing quest to figure out what exactly an X-Force is
  • The dramatic return of… well, you know
  • Spacesuit logistics
  • Numerical universe designations
  • Plastic Warlock

NEXT EPISODE: Our Fifth Annual Giant-Size Winter Special!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 221 – Better Than LEGO

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Bella, as seen on FaceTime between rounds of headbutting the phone.
The late, great, immensely fluffy Buzz Lightyear.
What, you thought this whole thing was just gonna be photos of cats? (Sorry) (X-Force #20)
Whoops. (X-Force #20)
That hair, though! Why, Shatterstar? WHY? (X-Force #20)
Those spacesuits look incredibly cumbersome. (X-Force #20)
You never forget your favorite ship. (X-Force #20)
That is a GREAT use of a spread. (X-Force #20)
X-Force really only has the one setting. (X-Force #21)
Aw. AW. (X-Force #21)
AWWWWWWWWW (X-Force #21)
“THE TEETH COMMAND IT!” (X-Force #21)
And that’s why you always leave a note. (X-Force #21)
“The guns were inside you all along!” (X-Force #22)
Well, then. (X-Force #22)
But he looks so happy about it! (X-Force #22)
I was gonna make a callback to that one tangent about how Cable probably carries a bunch of tampons because they are useful and he seems like the kind of dude who has a good attitude about menstruation, but it seemed too forced. (X-Force #22)
This is both excessive and silly, Gideon. (X-Force #22)
“Am I forever damned to eat crackers sideways?!” (X-Force #23)
Look at him! He’s just propped up in the corner! (X-Force #23)
OH, SNAP! (X-Force #23)
I’m still kind of peeved that this isn’t spelled out in Sam’s accent. It just feels wrong like this. (X-Force #23)
NEXT EPISODE: Psylocke vs. Revanche!

LINKS & FURTHER MONSTROSITIES:

221 – Better Than LEGO

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Miles stops worrying and learns to love X-Force; you should absolutely not google the phrase “face jam”; the kids take a field trip to Graymalkin; Jay reverse-engineers Shatterstar’s hair; Donald Pierce gets a new job; Sam Guthrie is the most trustworthy man in the Marvel Universe; Cable is your guns grandma; Professor earns its name; X-Force really only has one setting; and not every Sluggo is lit.

X-PLAINED:

  • A bunch of stuff Quicksilver did
  • Several cats
  • X-Force #20-23
  • The Externals (more) (again)
  • A deeply unlikely hairstyle
  • Graymalkin / Ship / Professor
  • A somewhat one-sided reunion
  • Yahoos
  • Inaccurate arithmetic
  • Why Feral sounds like that
  • Neither Tom, Dick, nor Harry
  • War Machine (James Rhodes)
  • Salvage
  • Sam Guthrie’s long trail of dead father figures
  • Shatterstar
  • How to fight an External
  • The seventh plague
  • What Domino’s been up to
  • Hammer’s mom
  • Tigerstryke (more) (again)
  • Sluggo (but not that Sluggo)
  • Learning to appreciate the ’90s

NEXT EPISODE: Psylocke Vs. Revanche!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 207 – Blood and Metal

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Everyone in this comic book is yelling at all times. (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)
There is also a lot of leaping. The early ’90s were very leaping-heavy years. (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)
Garrison, you delightful scamp! (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)
That’s right. The Six Pack is named after beer. (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)
Grizzly is kind of a delight in this series. (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)
Stryfe is ALWAYS a delight. (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)
Look at these ridiculous guns. LOOK AT THEM. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)
Every fight in this series is exuberantly ridiculous, and it’s great. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)
Cable is a really, really terrible boss. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)
More leaping! (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)
MORE LEAPING! (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)
Having studied under Cable, Kane knows how to leap into battle. (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)
Blood and Metal also does the action-movie thing where the hardboiled dialogue is often vaguely suggestive. (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)
“It makes sense, though. Having an evil clone runs in my family.” (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)
Yes, Garrison. Ninjas. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)
That’s Stryfe; and this explains a thing or three. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)
We forgot to mention this scene in the episode, but at one point, Garrison Kane is just randomly eating a fucking enormous sandwich. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)
And then on the next page, he dramatically rips his shirt off, because, look, SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOTTA. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)
Shorts! (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)
Look, if you haven’t worked out that Stryfe looks like Cable by this point in the series, I’m not sure I can help you. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)
I keep imagining Stryfe yelling, “Brother!” in Liquid Snake’s voice; and now you can, too. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)
“I also got you some unflattering but comfortable briefs. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor gets political.

LINKS & FURTHER TOMFOOLERY:

 

207 – Blood and Metal

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Miles has a Dracula problem; we are really, really excited about FlameCon; Fabian Nicieza is the unsung hero of the early ’90s; Jay doesn’t explain the Iranian Hostage Crisis; Cable does not have a good history with trademark disputes; Cable: Blood and Metal is secretly an allegory for the X-books of the early 1990s; friendship and explosions don’t have to be mutually exclusive; and history evokes but doesn’t quite repeat itself.

X-PLAINED:

  • Dracula disambiguation
  • One way to stop a vampire invasion
  • Wang beams
  • Cable: Blood and Metal #1-2
  • The continuing miracle that is Fabian Nicieza
  • Cable (as established in 1992)
  • Stryfe
  • The Wild Pack and/or Six Pack
  • The ongoing evolution of John Romita, Jr.
  • Tolliver
  • Several heists of varying quality
  • Numerous patches and their contents
  • How the Wild Pack became the Six Pack
  • An idiom, examined
  • A total dick move
  • Muscles-and-guns power creep
  • Guns of tomorrow
  • The McNinja point
  • A brief flirtation with Magic: The Gathering
  • A typo that became canon
  • The new She-Ra
  • The new, improved Garrison Kane
  • European nipple lasers
  • Mr. Richter
  • The evolution of Cable

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor gets political.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 205 – Back to Basics

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Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Okay, but seriously, he could have gotten that cape anywhere. (X-Force #11)
Early Deadpool was just kind of a jerk. (X-Force #11)
In which Garrison Kane and all of his teeth are watching you poop. (X-Force #11)
The best thing about this is that Rictor’s shirt changes color from green to read between issues, and I have decided that it is DEFINITELY Hypercolor(TM). (X-Force #11)
Hi, Crule. (X-Force #12)
Somewhere, Flash Gordon is very confused and very naked. (X-Force #12)
Just posting this for Rictor’s outfit, which really only gets more remarkable with every drawing. (X-Force #12)
If I were a better person, I might have pasted this together with the other half of the four-page spread… (X-Force #13)
…but, alas, I’m not. (X-Force #13)
Thaaaaaat’s our Cable! (X-Force #13)
Yeahno. (X-Force #13)
I really like the way Shoemaker draws battle-damaged Cable. (X-Force #14)
MY FEELINGS (X-Force #14)
Awk-ward. (X-Force #14)
Spoiler: FRIENDSHIP WINS. (X-Force #15)
And he would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn’t been for you meddling kids! (X-Force #15)
NEXT EPISODE: Fire, life, and backstory!

LINKS:

  • You can learn all about Garrison Kane in Episode 195 – Johnny Got His Robot Arm.
  • Should you find yourself in Brussels, Jay recommends Utopia for all your superhero comics needs.
  • Mitchell is a terrible movie but a very good episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000; which latter you can watch here.