“We don’t need no conservation of mass!” (New Mutants Annual #7)
Harness and Piecemeal. It only gets creepier from here. (New Mutants Annual #7)
This is definitely the last thing you see before you die. (New Mutants Annual #7)
Spoiler: Nope. (New Mutants Annual #7)
99% sure these dudes do not actually know how to play chess. (New Mutants Annual #7)
How great would it have been if Cable had made a Gulliver’s Travels joke? So great. (New Mutants Annual #7)
“Attack them with all your sound effects!” (New Mutants Annual #7)
Spoiler: They do, and it’s not. (New Mutants Annual #7)
OH, THANK GOD. (New Warriors Annual #1)
Piecemeal’s shirt is a little on-the-nose. (New Warriors Annual #1)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdJg6Duzzf4 (New Warriors Annual #1)
Namorita is great. (New Warriors Annual #1)
Oh, dear me. (New Warriors Annual #1)
I really like all the character-intro pages in this crossover. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)
Mother of the year, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)
You’re never too evil or too sexy for some good, old-fashioned filicide! (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)
You sure are, James. You sure are. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)
Inappropriate, Bobby. (X-Factor Annual #6)
None of my math textbooks were ever this psychedelic. (X-Factor Annual #6)
I briefly considered making this visual companion nothing but character-intro pages. (X-Factor Annual #6)
“Kings of Pain? Oh, yeah, isn’t that the crossover where Cyclops encourages a disturbed youth to commit suicide?” (X-Factor Annual #6)
(Nah, actually, he’s comparatively ethical about it; especially considering that the kid is technically already dead and has been for years.) (X-Factor Annual #6)
Okay, then. (X-Factor Annual #6)
NEXT EPISODE: Summers family bullshit on the moon!
In which we finally announce our NYCC panel lineup; Boom Boom is the Gina Linetti of X-Force; we don’t actually know very much about the New Warriors; Cable grows as a person; Cyclops makes an ethically dubious call; Warren Kenneth Worthington III is a jerk; Jay gets very angry at a fictional character; no one gets a happy ending and the skeleton was inside you all along.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
In which Franklin Richards makes everything more complicated; Reed Richards is a terrible parent; Days of Future Present is a surprisingly good ghost story; Valeria Richards is awesome (but does not appear in this crossover); everyone’s got hounds these days; Banshee is your sad cyborg dad; Phoenix has a lot of feelings; and X-Factor once again manages to up the ante for child endangerment.
X-PLAINED:
Nightcrawler’s brief clerical career
Days of Future Present
Annuals, in general
Some extraordinarily specific Namor headcanon
Fantastic Four Annual #23
New Mutants Annual #6
X-Factor Annual #5
Uncanny X-Men Annual #14
Franklin Richards
Several statuses quo
The reproductive potential of Doombots
Ms. Marvel (Sharon Ventura)
Ahab
A Code Red Time Emergency
One of Jay’s dream pitches
Your sad cyborg dad
The worst tea party
One hell of a kiss
Robocop vs. Terminator
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur gets eclectic!
The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
Your friend is extremely agitated and saying strange things. Do you: a) call a super-scientist like Reed Richards, b) call a telepath like Jean Grey, or c) throw her in a straitjacket and hope for the best? (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Wolverine violently poses forward! (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Cable as a wizard with Warlock as a wizard-staff? YES PLEASE (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
You can tell a lot about an artist by how they draw Warlock. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Oh, Doug the Peasant – you may not have your 616 counterpart’s mutant linguistic abilities or Alan Davis Hair Swoop, but at least you have… a mom who’s kind of a jerk? (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
“I mean, jeez, Richard! I could have been on the can or something! (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Yeah, that’s pretty much the normal way to check how strong booze is. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Congratulations, Princess Rain! Now that you’re properly orphaned, you can start your quest – grab a wooden sword and cloth armor and get going! (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Fantasy-Magneto’s outfit: not all that different from Normal-Magneto’s outfit. That reflects well on both of them. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
“You make a valid point owwwwww” (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Magnus’s text parser needs some work. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
New Mutants, Earth 616 style… (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
…and Earth 1991 style. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Andy Kubert draws a pretty kick-ass Werewolf Rahne. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Okay, I know Wolverine’s the bad guy right now, but that’s legit badass. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
This was my favorite part of Hugh Jackman’s Les Miserables. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Cable: master of witty comebacks in any reality. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Wolverine improving his catchphrase? Magnus playing Sentinel? This spread has it all! (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
This is no one’s finest hour. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Wake up, punch Cable, fall back asleep. I’d call that a successful day! (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Wolverine, I know you meant that to be reassuring, but it actually sounds pretty threatening. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Next time: this guy.
THE 2016 SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE IN X-CELLENCE
Best X-Writer: Dennis Hopeless
Best X-Artist: Alti Firmansyah
Best X-Colorist: David Curiel
Best Ongoing Series: All-New Wolverine
Best Miniseries: Worst X-Man Ever
Good Sport Award: Scott Koblish
Best Book Miles Wishes He Hadn’t Put Off Reading For This Long: Marjorie Liu’s X-23
In which we get a visit from Kid Apocalypse and debut a track from his upcoming album; Jay No-Prizes Community; Rahne of Terra is pretty damn delightful; Cable is an armchair editor; we finally release the unexpurgated version of Dennis Hopeless’s version of the Noodle Incident; and you remain–to nobody’s surprise–the best listeners of any podcast, ever.
X-PLAINED:
Kid Apocalypse (Quinn Allan)
Portland Snowpocalypse 2017
“Return of the King”
Rapping in character
Beats in the gutters
A vehement defense of Nate Grey
Wolverine: Rahne of Terra
Earth-1991
Geshem
Many puns of varying quality
EiC Cable
A definitely 100% true and accurate explanation of the Noodle Incident
The Third Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
NEXT EPISODE: The debut of Gambit!
In retrospect, we should totally have made reference to the song “Beards Going Nowhere” during our discussion of surfing the timestream on glam hair. We regret the omission.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
In which we ring in the new year with Cable’s on-page debut; it’s really the ’90s now; we enter the third major era of New Mutants; what Liefeld lacks in craft he makes up for in energy; we pitch a new “What if–” line; Rusty and Skids are terrible superheroes; X-Factor has probably given up on a lot of things; we speculate at gratuitous length on the content of Cable’s pouches; you have reason to go to the devil; and Cable makes a lot more sense when you realize he’s of, by, and for teenagers.
X-PLAINED:
How the Legacy Virus got loose
New Mutants #86-89
Cable’s on-page debut
Rob Liefeld
The third major era of New Mutants
A shift in the balance of power
A comics shop to probably avoid if you time-travel back to the mid 1990s
The stupid adventures of Rusty & Skids
Yet another Acts of Vengeance tie-in
Nitro
An accidental prison break
Cops, or maybe protestors
The Mutant Liberation Front
Feet
A goody two-shoes man-stealing redheaded werewolf
Wildside
Reaper
Strobe
Thumbelina
Tempo
Forearm
Zero
Stryfe
Stryfe’s armor
Spooning with Cable
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor kicks it Silver Age.
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
No prints this week. Contact David Wynne to purchase the original illustration!
In which writer Dennis Hopeless returns to the show for an informal introduction to the (first) mutant messiah; Cable is the best-case retcon scenario; Summerses don’t get to retire; calculating relative character age remains functionally impossible; Cable is Marsha to Stryfe’s Jan; and there’s probably already a Gilbert & Sullivan operetta about all of this.
X-PLAINED:
That one time Cable and Stryfe shared a body
Cable (Nathan Christopher Charles Summers)
Spinning nonsense into gold
Cable and X-Force
Cable’s controversial creative origins
Collaborative character creation
Cable origins that might have been
A whole lot of time travel
A whole lot of Summers family nonsense
Professor (Ship)
Tyler Dayspring (Tolliver)
Hope Summers
How to make Cable interesting
What to do after you save the world
Still more time travel
Look, there’s a lot of time travel, okay?
Old-man strength
Stryfe
David Willis’s theory of Batman humor (and Jay’s derivative theory of Stryfe humor)
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
In which we sit down with one of our favorite writers to talk about his upcoming series; the X-teens take to the road; Season One is kind of Friday Night Lights; good relationships make good stories; and we are really excited for All-New X-Men.
X-PLAINED:
Genesis (Evan Sabahnur)
Dennis Hopeless
Secret origins of X-Men: Season One
All-New X-Men, vol. 2
How to write Jean Grey
Building a team
Why Quentin Quire isn’t in All-New X-Men
All-New in the larger X-line, and the X-line in the larger Marvel Universe
Definitive X-eras
Cable & X-Force
What makes Cable tick
Boom Boom
Colossus and Domino
The narrative case for solid relationships
Favorite villains
Mark Bagley
Character evolution across multiple creative teams
X-teen hobbies
Vegas Valley Comic Book Fest
NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants meet Bird Boy, with mixed results.
There’s no visual companion this week, but you can find a list of links mentioned in this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!