Nathan Summers – Page 7 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 207 – Blood and Metal

July 30, 2018 Jay 4 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Everyone in this comic book is yelling at all times. (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)

There is also a lot of leaping. The early ’90s were very leaping-heavy years. (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)

Garrison, you delightful scamp! (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)

That’s right. The Six Pack is named after beer. (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)

Grizzly is kind of a delight in this series. (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)

Stryfe is ALWAYS a delight. (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)

Look at these ridiculous guns. LOOK AT THEM. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)

Every fight in this series is exuberantly ridiculous, and it’s great. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)

Cable is a really, really terrible boss. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)

More leaping! (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)

MORE LEAPING! (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)

Having studied under Cable, Kane knows how to leap into battle. (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)

Blood and Metal also does the action-movie thing where the hardboiled dialogue is often vaguely suggestive. (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)

“It makes sense, though. Having an evil clone runs in my family.” (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)

Yes, Garrison. Ninjas. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)

That’s Stryfe; and this explains a thing or three. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)

We forgot to mention this scene in the episode, but at one point, Garrison Kane is just randomly eating a fucking enormous sandwich. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)

And then on the next page, he dramatically rips his shirt off, because, look, SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOTTA. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)

Shorts! (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)

Look, if you haven’t worked out that Stryfe looks like Cable by this point in the series, I’m not sure I can help you. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)

I keep imagining Stryfe yelling, “Brother!” in Liquid Snake’s voice; and now you can, too. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)

“I also got you some unflattering but comfortable briefs. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor gets political.

LINKS & FURTHER TOMFOOLERY:

DID YOU KNOW THAT WE’RE GOING TO BE AT FLAMECON? Of course you did, because we won’t shut up about it! Come see us at table P119, and check out the live episode!
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja is a masterpiece of modern literature; plus, it’s by the only person who will ever love Robocop vs. Terminator as much as Jay does.
The new She-Ra design is awesome, and so is all the fan art that it has inspired.
The Tim Minchin line Jay paraphrased in this episode comes from the song “White Wine in the Sun.”
Wanna hang out online with a bunch of really nice X-Men fans? Hell, yeah, you do! Join the X-Plain the X-Men Discord!

207 – Blood and Metal

July 30, 2018 Jay 21 comments

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In which Miles has a Dracula problem; we are really, really excited about FlameCon; Fabian Nicieza is the unsung hero of the early ’90s; Jay doesn’t explain the Iranian Hostage Crisis; Cable does not have a good history with trademark disputes; Cable: Blood and Metal is secretly an allegory for the X-books of the early 1990s; friendship and explosions don’t have to be mutually exclusive; and history evokes but doesn’t quite repeat itself.

X-PLAINED:

Dracula disambiguation
One way to stop a vampire invasion
Wang beams
Cable: Blood and Metal #1-2
The continuing miracle that is Fabian Nicieza
Cable (as established in 1992)
Stryfe
The Wild Pack and/or Six Pack
The ongoing evolution of John Romita, Jr.
Tolliver
Several heists of varying quality
Numerous patches and their contents
How the Wild Pack became the Six Pack
An idiom, examined
A total dick move
Muscles-and-guns power creep
Guns of tomorrow
The McNinja point
A brief flirtation with Magic: The Gathering
A typo that became canon
The new She-Ra
The new, improved Garrison Kane
European nipple lasers
Mr. Richter
The evolution of Cable

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor gets political.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 205 – Back to Basics

July 15, 2018 Jay 5 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Okay, but seriously, he could have gotten that cape anywhere. (X-Force #11)

Early Deadpool was just kind of a jerk. (X-Force #11)

In which Garrison Kane and all of his teeth are watching you poop. (X-Force #11)

The best thing about this is that Rictor’s shirt changes color from green to read between issues, and I have decided that it is DEFINITELY Hypercolor(TM). (X-Force #11)

Hi, Crule. (X-Force #12)

Somewhere, Flash Gordon is very confused and very naked. (X-Force #12)

Just posting this for Rictor’s outfit, which really only gets more remarkable with every drawing. (X-Force #12)

If I were a better person, I might have pasted this together with the other half of the four-page spread… (X-Force #13)

…but, alas, I’m not. (X-Force #13)

Thaaaaaat’s our Cable! (X-Force #13)

Yeahno. (X-Force #13)

I really like the way Shoemaker draws battle-damaged Cable. (X-Force #14)

MY FEELINGS (X-Force #14)

Awk-ward. (X-Force #14)

Spoiler: FRIENDSHIP WINS. (X-Force #15)

And he would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn’t been for you meddling kids! (X-Force #15)

NEXT EPISODE: Fire, life, and backstory!

LINKS:

You can learn all about Garrison Kane in Episode 195 – Johnny Got His Robot Arm.
Should you find yourself in Brussels, Jay recommends Utopia for all your superhero comics needs.
Mitchell is a terrible movie but a very good episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000; which latter you can watch here.

205 – Back to Basics

July 15, 2018 Jay 17 comments

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In which Jay returns from Latveria; Sabretooth is significantly less menacing in French; Fabian Nicieza takes the reins; X-Force wins our hearts and minds; Gideon plunders Flash Gordon’s wardrobe; Crule does not actually rule; Rictor was right; Ship is the friend who helps you move, but better; the X-Force kids strike out on their own; and it’s probably impossible to explain Joseph too much.

X-PLAINED:

The secret origin of Gideon
How to get deported from Latveria
Marvel en français
X-Force #11-15
Some gratuitous posturing
Pico
What the actual Domino has been up to
One hell of an outfit
Peacock powers
Crule
A comical mix-up
A somewhat radical cosmology
A very dramatic strike force
Tygerstryke
X-Force post-Liefeld
Weapon P.R.I.M.E.
A four-page spread
A fight for one is a fight for all
Vance Astro
The death of Copycat
Things only Cable and Domino could do
Joseph (more) (again)
Marvel style and its evolution

NEXT EPISODE: Fire, life, and backstory!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 166 – Proteus Has Two Mommies

October 1, 2017 Jay 7 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

“We don’t need no conservation of mass!” (New Mutants Annual #7)

Harness and Piecemeal. It only gets creepier from here. (New Mutants Annual #7)

This is definitely the last thing you see before you die. (New Mutants Annual #7)

Spoiler: Nope. (New Mutants Annual #7)

99% sure these dudes do not actually know how to play chess. (New Mutants Annual #7)

How great would it have been if Cable had made a Gulliver’s Travels joke? So great. (New Mutants Annual #7)

“Attack them with all your sound effects!” (New Mutants Annual #7)

Spoiler: They do, and it’s not. (New Mutants Annual #7)

OH, THANK GOD. (New Warriors Annual #1)

Piecemeal’s shirt is a little on-the-nose. (New Warriors Annual #1)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdJg6Duzzf4 (New Warriors Annual #1)

Namorita is great. (New Warriors Annual #1)

Oh, dear me. (New Warriors Annual #1)

I really like all the character-intro pages in this crossover. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)

Mother of the year, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)

You’re never too evil or too sexy for some good, old-fashioned filicide! (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)

You sure are, James. You sure are. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)

Inappropriate, Bobby. (X-Factor Annual #6)

None of my math textbooks were ever this psychedelic. (X-Factor Annual #6)

I briefly considered making this visual companion nothing but character-intro pages. (X-Factor Annual #6)

“Kings of Pain? Oh, yeah, isn’t that the crossover where Cyclops encourages a disturbed youth to commit suicide?” (X-Factor Annual #6)

(Nah, actually, he’s comparatively ethical about it; especially considering that the kid is technically already dead and has been for years.) (X-Factor Annual #6)

Okay, then. (X-Factor Annual #6)

NEXT EPISODE: Summers family bullshit on the moon!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men LIVE at New York Comic Con, with special guests Chris Claremont and Louise Simonson!
TEDxHarvardCollege
We met all-around rad dude Taki in Episode 106 – The X-Terminators!
We talked about Proteus in Episode 10 – Not All Mandroids!

166 – Proteus Has Two Mommies

October 1, 2017 Jay 69 comments

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In which we finally announce our NYCC panel lineup; Boom Boom is the Gina Linetti of X-Force; we don’t actually know very much about the New Warriors; Cable grows as a person; Cyclops makes an ethically dubious call; Warren Kenneth Worthington III is a jerk; Jay gets very angry at a fictional character; no one gets a happy ending and the skeleton was inside you all along.

X-PLAINED:

Penance (but not that Penance)
Our actual, for-real NYCC panel details
“Kings of Pain”
New Mutants Annual #7
New Warriors Annual #1
Uncanny X-Men Annual #15
X-Factor Annual #6
The Alliance of Evil
Harness
Piecemeal
Genetech
IDIC
Symbolic chess
The New Warriors
The Clean Plate Club from Hell
The Pec Twins
ReBoot
A really screwed up debate
Magneto vs. Human Nature
Privilege and Callouts

NEXT WEEK: Summers Family Bullshit on the Moon!

COME SEE US LIVE AT NEW YORK COMIC CON, WITH SPECIAL GUESTS CHRIS CLAREMONT AND LOUISE SIMONSON!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

152 – Ghosts of Future Present

March 27, 2017 Jay 58 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

In which Franklin Richards makes everything more complicated; Reed Richards is a terrible parent; Days of Future Present is a surprisingly good ghost story; Valeria Richards is awesome (but does not appear in this crossover); everyone’s got hounds these days; Banshee is your sad cyborg dad; Phoenix has a lot of feelings; and X-Factor once again manages to up the ante for child endangerment.

X-PLAINED:

Nightcrawler’s brief clerical career
Days of Future Present
Annuals, in general
Some extraordinarily specific Namor headcanon
Fantastic Four Annual #23
New Mutants Annual #6
X-Factor Annual #5
Uncanny X-Men Annual #14
Franklin Richards
Several statuses quo
The reproductive potential of Doombots
Ms. Marvel (Sharon Ventura)
Ahab
A Code Red Time Emergency
One of Jay’s dream pitches
Your sad cyborg dad
The worst tea party
One hell of a kiss
Robocop vs. Terminator

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur gets eclectic!

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 144 – Giant-Size Special #5 (feat. Kid Apocalypse)

January 29, 2017 Miles 5 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at Redbubble, or contact David to purchase the original!

Your friend is extremely agitated and saying strange things. Do you: a) call a super-scientist like Reed Richards, b) call a telepath like Jean Grey, or c) throw her in a straitjacket and hope for the best? (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Wolverine violently poses forward! (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Cable as a wizard with Warlock as a wizard-staff? YES PLEASE (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

You can tell a lot about an artist by how they draw Warlock. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Oh, Doug the Peasant – you may not have your 616 counterpart’s mutant linguistic abilities or Alan Davis Hair Swoop, but at least you have… a mom who’s kind of a jerk? (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

“I mean, jeez, Richard! I could have been on the can or something! (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Yeah, that’s pretty much the normal way to check how strong booze is. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Congratulations, Princess Rain! Now that you’re properly orphaned, you can start your quest – grab a wooden sword and cloth armor and get going! (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Fantasy-Magneto’s outfit: not all that different from Normal-Magneto’s outfit. That reflects well on both of them. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

“You make a valid point owwwwww” (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Magnus’s text parser needs some work. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

New Mutants, Earth 616 style… (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

…and Earth 1991 style. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Andy Kubert draws a pretty kick-ass Werewolf Rahne. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Okay, I know Wolverine’s the bad guy right now, but that’s legit badass. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

This was my favorite part of Hugh Jackman’s Les Miserables. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Cable: master of witty comebacks in any reality. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Wolverine improving his catchphrase? Magnus playing Sentinel? This spread has it all! (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

This is no one’s finest hour. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Wake up, punch Cable, fall back asleep. I’d call that a successful day! (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Wolverine, I know you meant that to be reassuring, but it actually sounds pretty threatening. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Next time: this guy.

THE 2016 SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE IN X-CELLENCE

Best X-Writer: Dennis Hopeless
Best X-Artist: Alti Firmansyah
Best X-Colorist: David Curiel
Best Ongoing Series: All-New Wolverine
Best Miniseries: Worst X-Man Ever
Good Sport Award: Scott Koblish
Best Book Miles Wishes He Hadn’t Put Off Reading For This Long: Marjorie Liu’s X-23
Fun-Matters-More-Than-Good Award: X-Men: Apocalypse
Best Actual Wolverine Award: Jonathan the Actual Wolverine
Irene Adler Memorial Award for Most Anticipated Upcoming Book Or Series: Generation X
Cyclops Has A Good Day award: Cyclops had no good days.
Best Stealth X-Series: New Avengers
Kristafer Anka Award For Best Withering Sneer In An X-Book: Emma Frost in Inhumans vs. X-Men #1
Wet Noodle Award: The Noodle Incident
Making Lemonade Award: Inhumans vs. X-Men
Best Non-X Marvel Book: The Vision

CLASSIC CORBEAUS (for older X-material covered in the podcast during 2016)

Best Cover Ever Forever: Excalibur #4
Buried Treasure: Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown
Why-Isn’t-This-Collected Award: X-Factor: Judgment War
Still Crying Award: New Mutants #64
The Unhand That Elf Award: “Unhand that elf!”
Better To Reign In Hell Award: Madelyne Pryor
You Tried Award: Illyana Rasputin
ABD Award: Havok, for still not finishing his dissertation

AND

Still the Best Listeners of Any Podcast, Ever – You!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

Find Kid Apocalypse on Twitter and Bandcamp!
Listen to Dennis Hopeless’s original, super-secret, censored version of the Noodle Incident in the cold open of Episode 104!
You can hear Scott Koblish’s rap battle with Jay in the cold open to Episode 105…
…and his performance of Jay’s song about Summers continuity in the cold open to Episode 134!

144 – Giant-Size Special #5 (feat. Kid Apocalypse)

January 29, 2017 Miles 26 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which we get a visit from Kid Apocalypse and debut a track from his upcoming album; Jay No-Prizes Community; Rahne of Terra is pretty damn delightful; Cable is an armchair editor; we finally release the unexpurgated version of Dennis Hopeless’s version of the Noodle Incident; and you remain–to nobody’s surprise–the best listeners of any podcast, ever.

X-PLAINED:

Kid Apocalypse (Quinn Allan)
Portland Snowpocalypse 2017
“Return of the King”
Rapping in character
Beats in the gutters
A vehement defense of Nate Grey
Wolverine: Rahne of Terra
Earth-1991
Geshem
Many puns of varying quality
EiC Cable
A definitely 100% true and accurate explanation of the Noodle Incident
The Third Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence

NEXT EPISODE: The debut of Gambit!

In retrospect, we should totally have made reference to the song “Beards Going Nowhere” during our discussion of surfing the timestream on glam hair. We regret the omission.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)