Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: nanny

As Mentioned in Episode 401 – True Tales of Double-Entry Bookkeeping

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“Jack, I served with Cannonball, I knew Cannonball, Cannonball was a brother of mine. Jack, you are no Cannonball.” (Generation X #32)
smek (Generation X #32)
David Bowie and Hacker T. Dog. (New Mutants #92)
I’ve missed 80s Boom-Boom. Yeep! (New Mutants #92)
The character find of 1990. (New Mutants #92)
“This haunted house is nuts, especially that broccoli guy! We need to tell Jean Grey about it and make sure she wears that Phoenix outfit when she comes to visit!” (New Mutants #92)
Did we cover this issue mostly for 80s Boom-Boom? Yes. Yes we did. (New Mutants #92)
And you thought Ship was cool, kids. (New Mutants #92)
Speaking of things Boom-Boom would do… (Generation X #33)
Keep an eye on this guy. (Generation X #33)
Miles totally would have stuck with hard science in college if the labs had looked like this. (Generation X #33)
No, no… The WHAT goes at the end, not in the middle! (Generation X #33)
Welcome to a dimension of pure CHAIR. (Generation X #33)
And now for something completely different. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)
Now I want to see Adam Pollina draw Mystique’s creepy nephew from X-Factor. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)
I believe Danish armored mother-and-son murderers refer to this as hygge. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)
1 pet robot. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)
Random stuff piled up outside the panels – this must be an issue of Generation X! (Generation X Holiday Special #1)
Mutant, mutant, angst, angst. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)
What an obituary that would have made. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)
It’s easy to forget how legitimately terrifying the Orphan Maker can be. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)
So that happened. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)
Better or worse than the kids that wet their pants on Santa’s lap? (Generation X Holiday Special #1)
Oh, kiddo. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)
Well that’s just lovely. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)
NEXT TIME: Doctor Moira MacTaggert versus the Legacy Virus.

401 – True Tales of Double-Entry Bookkeeping

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And now for something completely different. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)

In which Santa Claus makes problematic choices; we make good on a promise; Sebastian is the new Deadpool; Skrulls get stuck as animals more than you’d think; Nanny and Orphan-Maker celebrate; and Jubilee stops worrying and learns to love Christmas.

X-PLAINED

  • Santa Claus’s flirtations with villainy
  • A new direction for Generation X
  • Larry Hama
  • Al vs. U.S. geography
  • Generation X #32-33
  • Generation X Holiday Special
  • New Mutants #92
  • Thing One & Thing Two St. Croix
  • The Circus of Crime
  • The Pirates of Dark Water (somewhat)
  • Hacker T. Dog
  • Why Wolfsbane is scared of clowns
  • Skrull Kill Crew
  • Carnie Voltron
  • Chief Authier
  • Phat beats
  • A reality biscuit
  • Emplate’s pocket dimension
  • Chimera and Dirtnap
  • Variant interiors
  • Nanny & Orphan-Maker (more) (again)
  • Santa Claus (in general)
  • Benefits of inconsistent characterization

NEXT WEEK: Break week

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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As Mentioned in Episode 398 – Shanna the Wee Devil

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
We would never, Maggott. (Uncanny X-Men #347)
Grovel, allergic to sticks. (Uncanny X-Men #347)
Spat: just your average reverse-aging cavegirl bounty hunter. (Uncanny X-Men #347)
Weirder or less weird than the time the Morlocks healed Professor X and then dressed him in bondage gear? (Uncanny X-Men #347)
Big Mother Truckers no more. (Uncanny X-Men #347)
Alas, poor Landscape! I barely knew him, Joseph: a fellow of infinite power, of most excellent colors. (Uncanny X-Men #347)
Nanny’s great and all, but LOOK AT THAT BAT! (Uncanny X-Men #347)
I wish we got to see more of that robo-dragon in the back. (Uncanny X-Men #348)
Thankfully, Bishop is no stranger to being impaled by pipes. (Uncanny X-Men #348)
SabreRogue. (Uncanny X-Men #348)
This is pretty unambiguous, right? (Uncanny X-Men #348)
Chris Bachalo’s back! (Uncanny X-Men #349)
Beast, Beast, Beast of the Jungle, strong as he can be! (Uncanny X-Men #349)
Whoa, that volcano base got a lot more complicated when we switched artists. (Uncanny X-Men #349)
Even Maggott’s hair gets more impressive when he goes into battle-mode! (Uncanny X-Men #349)
Bachalo draws chaos well. (Uncanny X-Men #349)
“Excess”? What do you mean by that word? (Uncanny X-Men #349)
All together now: “DAMMIT REMY!” (Uncanny X-Men #349)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Force hits the road!

398 – Shanna the Wee Devil

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
In which the rest of the X-Men return from space; Maggott is the new cool; Gambit’s past catches up with him; Chris Bachalo takes over as regular artist on Uncanny X-Men; Deathbird flirts singularly aggressively; Eany and Meany eat a truck; dating a telepathic ninja is going to take some getting used to; and Havok predictably remains ABD.
X-PLAINED
  • Motormouth (Harley Davis)
  • Motormouth and Killpower
  • Uncanny X-Men #347-349
  • Grovel and Spat
  • A horse guy who is actually a cat-frog-lizard guy
  • An extraordinarily half-assed action figure
  • Load-bearing backstory
  • Landscape
  • The other Nanny
  • Elegant foreshadowing
  • Beast’s appearance as a mutant power
  • Gambit’s chest hair
  • The end of playtime
  • CCA-compliant foliage
  • Deathbird and Bishop
  • A vanity plate
  • Eany and Meany
  • One-off psychometry
  • Psylocke vs. Maggott
  • Decompression
  • Havok’s enduring lack of a Ph.D.
NEXT EPISODE: X-Force hits the road!
NOTE: In this episode, Miles theorized Grovel’s voice as sounding halfway between Cable and Kermit the Frog without realizing that he was in fact just describing Sweetums. -Jay

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As Mentioned in Episode 296 – Hard Choices

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
“Are you coming too, mysterious hooded stranger? My sister, Carmen Sandiego, would love to have you along!” (Amazing X-Men #1)
Danger Room cold open, Earth-295-style! (Amazing X-Men #1)
“Just a few more hours and a few dozen more cigarettes until Tom Waits karaoke night!” (Amazing X-Men #1)
“For further details, my X-Men, you must buy every other X-comic on the stands. Excelsior!” (Amazing X-Men #1)
As the famous thinker Parappa the Rapper once so wisely said: you gotta believe. (Amazing X-Men #1)
Earth-295 Sentinels may be lacking in toboggan hats and robot one-piece swimsuits, but they’re still pretty impressive. (Amazing X-Men #1)
Half unspooled VHS tape, half Slinky, all nuisance. (Amazing X-Men #2)
“Go easy on ’em, X-Men – they remembered to use our logo font, and that was very considerate of them.” (Amazing X-Men #2)
Banshee’s facial expression speaks for us all. (Amazing X-Men #2)
Okay, that’s legit terrifying. (Amazing X-Men #2)
Quicksilver? More like FRIPsilver! (Amazing X-Men #2)
If the title wasn’t already taken, Magneto’s autobiography would be called The Brood Saga. (Amazing X-Men #3)
It takes a true villain to make “being stretchy” an intimidating superpower. (Amazing X-Men #3)
Mary Poppins: The Snyder Cut. (Amazing X-Men #3)
Shaking Angel down for information is an X-Men rite of passage. (Amazing X-Men #3)
Open wide and say “flashback”! (Amazing X-Men #3)
you guys I think I’m in the wrong church (Amazing X-Men #4)
This may be bad, but at least he doesn’t have to die of a mutant-targeting virus twice in the Age of Apocalypse the way he does in Earth-616… (Amazing X-Men #4)
Generation Next – ripping our hearts out even when it’s someone else’s comic! (Amazing X-Men #4)
I know you’re mad at Gambit, Rogue, but did you really have to punch his legs off? (Amazing X-Men #4)
Aww, damn – he was just one week away from retirement! (Amazing X-Men #4)
*raises lighter* (Amazing X-Men #4)
NEXT EPISODE: This guy.

296 – Hard Choices

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Magneto doesn’t really do work/live divide; Amazing X-Men is a bit of a misnomer; Exodus is the lawful evil to Fabian Cortez’s chaotic evil; smoking is bad for you; moisture molecular inversion is fairly definitely not a real thing; Earth-295 Quicksilver and Earth-616 Cyclops would probably get along; OSHA would probably like a word with the Madrii; Gambit had ONE JOB; and there are no superheroes in the Age of Apocalypse.

X-PLAINED:

  • An unlikely team-up
  • Relative amazingness
  • Amazing X-Men #1-5
  • Color separations
  • Comics credits
  • The Brotherhood of Mutants and/or Chaos
  • The Great Human Airlift
  • Exodus (more) (again)
  • Best Quicksilver (Earth-295)
  • Abyss
  • A dubiously aerodynamic cape
  • One last job
  • Several points of semantic distinction
  • Lone Nanny & Cub
  • The most punchable man on Earth-295
  • A difficult choice
  • What it means to be X-Men
  • Dick Valentine
  • Jamie Madrox (Earth-295)
  • A world without superheroes
  • Universe numbering

NEXT EPISODE: X-Man!

CORRECTION: The line about fence-straddling that Jay attributed to Wonder Woman was in fact spoken by Hawkgirl.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop! This June, we’ll be donating all of the profits to Trans Lifeline!

As Mentioned in Episode 290 – The Obvious, the Silly, and the True

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Magneto is definitely bowling in this picture, right? (Astonishing X-Men #1)
I dunno if I’d call them astonishing, but they’ll do. (Astonishing X-Men #1)
Magneto’s X-Men are AT LEAST 50% more dramatic than Xavier’s, and I’m okay with that. (Astonishing X-Men #1)
We would x-plain Rex; but he’s honestly just some guy. (Astonishing X-Men #1)
The first thing Apocalypse did upon seizing power was dissolve OSHA. (Astonishing X-Men #1)
Okay, he’s got his moments. (Astonishing X-Men #1)
This is just incandescently delightful. (Astonishing X-Men #1)
Best character design in the AoA. (Astonishing X-Men #2)
Is the lake of blood literal, metaphorical, or both? You be the judge! (Astonishing X-Men #2)
THIS. PERFECT. TWIST. (Astonishing X-Men #2)
Spoiler: No, and no. (Astonishing X-Men #2)
Kinda disappointed that we never got to see this play. (Astonishing X-Men #3)
kyle no (Astonishing X-Men #3)
Is.. is Sabretooth not allowed to say “Hell”? (Astonishing X-Men #3)
Still not as weird as force-feeding superheroes baby food. (Astonishing X-Men #3)
Sure, why not? (Astonishing X-Men #3)
Now you’re thinking with portals! (Astonishing X-Men #4)
And he didn’t even quit the team once! (Astonishing X-Men #4)
Morph is a goof, but he’s also by far the most emotionally literate of the X-Men. (Astonishing X-Men #4)
Rogue is DONE with this event. (Astonishing X-Men #4)
NEXT EPISODE: The beginning of a descent into madness!

290 – The Obvious, the Silly, and the True

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which it’s kind of a relief to be talking about a fictional apocalypse right now; Joe Madureira defines the look of the mid-late 1990s; Sunfire is less cheesecake than crepes Suzette; it all comes back to capes; Wild Child is more than he seems; Holocaust sucks about as much as you’d expect of someone who picked that code name; Jay has surprisingly strong feelings about Morph; Miles is all about judging some babies; resistance is fundamental to the X-Men’s identity within a superhero-universe paradigm; nobody deserves to be quarantined with Quentin Quire; and our two-week lead is making proofing these podcasts an increasingly surreal experience.

X-PLAINED:

  • Several things Blink might have done but did not.
  • The status quo as of mid-March, 2020
  • Earth-295 (more) (again)
  • Astonishing X-Men #1-4
  • Our coverage of the core Age of Apocalypse series
  • Age of Apocalypse as proof of concept
  • The best character design of Earth-295
  • Some guy named Rex
  • A lake of blood which may or may not be figurative
  • Sabretooth’s last-ish stand
  • The revolutionary value of silliness
  • Jay’s favorite Orwell quote
  • The Infinite Processing Plant
  • DefCon Armageddon
  • A very cool fight scene
  • Catharsis
  • Mutants without the metaphor
  • Best and worst X-Men to be quarantined with

NEXT EPISODE: Weapon X!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 118 – Extrude the Grappling Arms!

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Elaine Grey as drawn by Rob Liefeld. (X-Factor #40)
Perspective? What perspective? (X-Factor #40)
Remember, this is supposed to be taking place inside the cockpit of a fairly small airplane. (X-Factor #40)
Nanny, X-Plained. (X-Factor #40)
Trolls, trollin.’ (X-Factor #41)
“Just, um, don’t call Magneto. He’s a supervillain. Anything he says about us is probably a lie.” (X-Factor #41)
Well, that escalated quickly. (X-Factor #41)
Sure, why not? (X-Factor #41)
The future mutant messiah. (X-Factor #42)
Meanwhile in Excalibur, other stuff. (X-Factor #42)
This is also a problem in Portland. (X-Factor #42)
I like this kid. He makes good choices. (X-Factor #42)
NEXT EPISODE: Miles and Elisabeth X-Plain New Mutants Forever!

LINKS:

 

118 – Extrude the Grappling Arms!

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which you really can’t compete with Cable; the X-Men may or may not ditch a funeral; Nanny extrudes the grappling arms; Boom Boom is more responsible than she looks; Jean Grey is the cool stepmom; we posit an alternate explanation for Brexit; and ravens are the best dinosaurs.

X-PLAINED:

  • What happened to the Inferno babies
  • X-Factor #40-42
  • Madelyne Pryor’s funeral
  • Post-Inferno X-Factor
  • Archangel’s inconsistent appearance
  • Secret origins of Nanny and the Orphanmaker
  • Teenagers (more) (again)
  • Tom Jones (Alchemy)
  • Conversations we probably shouldn’t have with Neal Conan
  • Trolls of London
  • Dubious super-parenting
  • Phy
  • Phay
  • Phee
  • Phough
  • Phumm
  • Troll economics
  • A grocery list
  • The Ravenmaster
  • Miles’s mom

NEXT EPISODE: Miles and Elisabeth X-Plain New Mutants Forever!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!