Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Mystique

406 – The Most Dangerous Mini-Game

6 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which we disagree about the value of Stan Lee intros; everybody wants Wolverine; Mister Sinister lurks; Haley Blanding deserves better; Thunderbird fights a tiger; and Xavier and Magneto do their usual thing.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Circus of Crime
  • Stan Lee intros
  • Wolverine #-1
  • X-Factor #-1
  • X-Force #-1
  • X-Men #-1
  • Proust vs. Sartre
  • How Logan joined Alpha Flight
  • The secret origin of the word “canucklehead.”
  • USDA, Annex B
  • Myron MacLain
  • Logan’s cigars
  • Yet more continuity errors
  • Sabretooth’s ridiculous car
  • The balance of scary and silly
  • Wolverine’s cowboy hat
  • Summers family bullshit
  • The Blandings and/or Masterses
  • Vince
  • The Proudstar family
  • One or more cats named Coyote
  • The origin of Thunderbird’s totem
  • Edwin Martynec (again)
  • Chondu the Magician
  • Ringmaster
  • Yet more Xavier and Magneto flashback drama
  • The bottom of the resurrection queue
  • Good car-trip episodes

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor continues to make poor decisions

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 397 – Mürdr at IKEA

One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Daydreamers this is not. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
Chop Chop’s weapon is a machete, Yuri’s weapon is his fist, and artist Frank Teran’s weapon is the color black. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
I wish Wild Child and Bob Hoskins always looked like this. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
Sabretooth and Wild Child may look similar in close-up, but there’s never a question of who’s who. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
When less detail equals more horror. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR GIVING YOUR BAR THAT NAME (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
Yes! Use more black, Frank Teran! More! (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
Scrrfffle. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
Wild Child is shadowed like a villain… until he isn’t. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
What are the odds?! (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
That guy’s mustache is no match for Psychic Paper. (X-Factor #136)
The iPhone 14 Pro’s cameras ain’t got nothin’ on these. (X-Factor #136)
Have you ever noticed that RAD and HAM have the same number of letters? (X-Factor #136)
WAT (X-Factor #136)
Jeff Matsuda stole some of Frank Teran’s black and is using it well. (X-Factor #136)
Put that towel down! You know you don’t sweat! (X-Factor #136)
“Huh?” is right. (X-Factor #136)
This seems way less efficient than leaving a voicemail. (X-Factor #136)
I HAVE QUESTIONS (X-Factor #137)
Best exes. (X-Factor #137)
It’s a little thing, but I like the symbolism of the seemingly arbitrary background shapes. (X-Factor #137)
It’s a credit to Mystique that she can be legitimately scary while wearing that. (X-Factor #137)
Again with the implied gore. (X-Factor #137)
Of course, honey. Of course. (X-Factor #137)
NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men return from space!

397 – Mürdr at IKEA

8 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Al Kennedy and Miles enter a somewhat post-OZT world, the art of Frank Teran (whose uncle built a jetpack) elevates an otherwise merely decent story, Puck is played by Bob Hoskins, Wild Child gets a chance to shine, Mystique and Forge are sitting in a tree, and Swamp Thing is amazing.

X-PLAINED:

  • Spider-Man’s head cold
  • Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1
  • Sabretooth (Victor Creed)
  • Wild Child (Kyle Gibney)
  • Horrible violence, expertly implied
  • The ubiquity of sewers
  • Saturday morning cartoons of R-rated movies
  • Serial killers with G.I. Joe names
  • Improbable tracking
  • Bilingual crime
  • Chekhov’s waterfall
  • DRUGS
  • X-Factor #136-137
  • The Hound program
  • Skeumorphism
  • Doctor Valerie Cooper and Major Edmond Atkinson, excellent exes
  • Questionable wound-dressing
  • Holograms
  • Government jobs
  • The sad fate of the Chase family
  • Nimrod disambiguation
  • The Marvel Universe According to Doctor Seuss

NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men return from space!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 385 – Super Whiny Adults Simulator 64

Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Forge, what the everloving hell? (X-Factor #134)
BY YOU. THEY WERE EXAGGERATED BY YOU. ON PURPOSE. (X-Factor #134)
I don’t know what’s going on with Forge’s face here; and frankly, I don’t want to know. (X-Factor #134)
Wow, Trevor. Wow. (X-Factor #134)
Trevor has gone full creepy moppet. This is not a drill. (X-Factor #135)
This game sucks. (X-Factor #135)
WHAT THE HELL, KID (X-Factor #135)
Aw, Guido, we missed you, too. (X-Factor #135)
And now, time for the fun stuff! (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
Comic-book space is a happenin’ place. (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
Either the sand figures are a metaphor, or Guido is a font of weird hidden talents. (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
Ha! (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
Aw, it’s Kreetor! Hi, buddy!
Each saucer comes with a tiny image of Calvin peeing on a trademark symbol. (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
Biff! Bam! Pow! (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
*Rimshot* (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
The comic is good, but getta loada the activity pages! (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
I want to know if anyone actually cut these out and used them. (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
I hope so. (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
Spoiler: I’m pretty sure it’s an ice cream truck. (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: Maggott!

385 – Super Whiny Adults Simulator 64

6 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we make an omission; X-Factor’s concept of “underground” is somewhat unconventional; Trevor Chase turns uncanny moppet; and Strong Guy and Lila Cheney have some very silly space adventures.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Factor #134-135
  • Strong Guy Reborn #1
  • The “deaths” of X-Factor (again)
  • Lady Cop
  • A contextually inappropriate pun
  • The Adversary (more) (again)
  • Why you use an air-gapped system
  • How not to fake your own death
  • Trevor Chase and his mysterious mutant powers
  • Rusty Trail
  • X-Factor X-Ploits
  • A lot of wasted potential
  • The Jorken-Kront war
  • Space stuff
  • Lila Cheney (more) (again)
  • Kreetor
  • Spiff’s Saucers
  • Calvin & Hobbes licensing in the Marvel Universe
  • The Chalker Brothers (briefly) (again)
  • The most useful and fun mutant powers
  • Musicals with Mister Sinister

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Maggott!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 381 – If We Told You, We’d Have to Kill You

Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
If Alex Summers had more issues, he’d be a comics shop. (X-Factor #131)
I guess he swallowed the thumb, which makes its lack of repeat appearance less surprising. (X-Factor #131)
The world’s slowest plasma blast. (X-Factor #131)
The real reason for Jamie Madrox’s heel turn. (X-Factor #132)
“And if you don’t like our terms, there’s also a free AOL install!” (X-Factor #132)
Agent Bowser. (X-Factor #133)
The Many Deaths of X-Factor: Sabretooth. (X-Factor #133)
The Many Deaths of X-Factor: Wild Child. (X-Factor #133)
The Many Deaths of X-Factor: Polaris and Shard. (X-Factor #133)
The Many Deaths of X-Factor: Mystique. (X-Factor #133)
The Many Deaths of X-Factor: Forge. (X-Factor #133)
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. Crimson Dawn!

 

381 – If We Told You, We’d Have to Kill You

6 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which real life sucks; Havok may or may not be a bad enough dude to rescue mutantkind; X-Factor quits; CD-ROMs were never THAT cool; subtlety is for suckers; Val Cooper hates nothing more than she hates the U.S. government; and Jamie Madrox wants nothing to do with your nonsense.

X-PLAINED:

  • One way to end a wedding
  • X-Factor #130-133
  • Malice (again)
  • A thumb (and the biting thereof)
  • Barnes (and her hair)
  • The relative versatility of plasma
  • The Brotherhood
  • A ruse and/or retcon
  • Lighting design
  • A CD-ROM
  • The time Jay wrote some Captain America comics
  • The last time you’re gonna see these
  • Trevor Chase (more)
  • One thing that might’ve inspired Jamie Madrox’s heel turn
  • The nature of Jamie Madrox’s relative mortality
  • Brand names
  • Many faked deaths
  • Agent Bowser
  • A very fancy haunted house
  • X-Factor’s true calling
  • The X.S.E. (again)
  • Mutant shifts in adaptations
  • ‘Nuff said

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. Crimson Dawn!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

As Mentioned in Episode 373 – Tainted Loins

7 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Looks like your dad’s pain is a little worse than yours, Bobby. (Uncanny X-Men #340)
Now that is 1996 Sam Guthrie. Finally. (Uncanny X-Men #340)
Graydon Creed according to Joe Madureira… and Victor Creed as a glass of whiskey. (Uncanny X-Men #340)
If the command van’s a-knockin’… (Uncanny X-Men #340)
Joe Madureira’s mostly known for his action scenes, but he’s pretty great with quiet conversations too. (Uncanny X-Men #340)
Your government dresses you funny, Madrox. (X-Factor #128)
That’s so Raven. (X-Factor #128)
Graydon Creed according to Jeff Matsuda… and Harper, who is well aware of the need for discretion. (X-Factor #128)
Mystique transforms, version 1. (X-Factor #128)
Sabretooth and less-interesting-Sabretooth. (X-Factor #128)
Val Cooper just got back from the most dangerous sleepover ever. (X-Factor #129)
I love it when powers cross panel borders. (X-Factor #129)
Mystique transforms, version 2. (X-Factor #129)
Having grown up in the 90s, I can assure you this is quite an accomplishment. (X-Factor #129)
Well I’m impressed. (X-Factor #129)
Ah, that explains it. (X-Factor #129)
Scrawling SOON across your son’s campaign poster is the first step in saving his life. (X-Factor #129)
Blowing a hole in your son’s campaign poster is the second step in saving his life. (X-Factor #130)
Blowing additional holes in your son’s campaign poster is the third step in saving his life. (X-Factor #130)
Mystique transforms, version 3. (X-Factor #130)
Graydon Creed according to Eric Battle… and Val Cooper has changed out of her sleepwear. (X-Factor #130)
I’m just writing a visual companion, and I kinda want to yell “GUARDS”. (X-Factor #130)
This should’ve been two-thirds of the issue instead of two pages. (X-Factor #130)
Snazzy! (X-Factor #130)
Raven, just interrupt! You’re allowed! (X-Factor #130)
And with that..! (X-Factor #130)
NEXT EPISODE: Hawk Talk! IN TWO WEEKS: Frank Punisher meets Carl the X-Cutioner.

FURTHER READING

  • Miles talked about how to follow Krakoa’s year two X-books into year three:
    • Bridge miniseries:
      • Planet-Size X-Men 1-shot
      • Inferno
      • X Lives of Wolverine
      • X Deaths of Wolverine
    • Year two books that don’t continue into year three:
      • Cable (got a wrap-up 1-shot called Cable Reloaded)
      • Children of the Atom
      • Hellions
      • X-Corp
      • X-Factor
    • Books that have kept their year two numbering:
      • New Mutants
      • Wolverine
      • X-Force
      • X-Men Unlimited (on Marvel Unlimited)
    • Books that relaunched with a new #1 and new creators:
      • Marauders
      • X-Men
    • Books that relaunched with a new title:
      • Excalibur -> Knights of X
      • SWORD -> X-Men: Red
      • Way of X -> X-Men: the Onslaught Revelation -> Legion of X
    • One book is brand new:
      • Immortal X-Men
    • Also, don’t miss the Secret X-Men 1-shot toward the end of year two!

373 – Tainted Loins

7 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Drake Roberts identity is retired; Gambit bonds with William Drake; Graydon Creed is evil but nondescript; tales of Pyro’s death have been somewhat exaggerated; and some mysteries resolve better than others.

X-PLAINED:

  • Damian Tryp
  • X-Factor (more) (again)
  • Uncanny X-Men #340
  • X-Factor #128-30
  • More Drake family dynamics
  • The Sword of Shannara
  • The general vagueness of Graydon Creed
  • Several ninjas
  • Hound stuff
  • Val Cooper’s pajamas
  • An unexpected return
  • Shapeshifting
  • Overextended plotlines
  • Some unusually threatening dad jokes
  • The anticlimactic death of Graydon Creed
  • Some time travel bullshit
  • Which series are ending and which are relaunching between Reign of X and Destiny of X
  • How and when Colossus stopped being the Juggernaut

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: The Adventures of Carl & Frank

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 369 – Carly Askani

Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
“This ought to give you” *POW* “a new perspective” *BIFF* “on things, Alex!” (Uncanny X-Men #339)
Head trauma for Lucas BIshop! (Uncanny X-Men #339)
I mean, she’s not wrong. (Uncanny X-Men #339)
“You think I just fell off the turnip truck, McCoy? No one pulls a fast one on J. Jonah Jameson!” (Uncanny X-Men #339)
“I’m Ororo Munroe, and I’m here to x-plain the X-Men… because it’s about time someone did.” (Uncanny X-Men #339)
Never trust a Summers when he tells you he’s fine. (Uncanny X-Men #339)
Well, if they can print it, I guess we can post it. (X-Men #59)
Head trauma for Lucas Bishop! Again! (X-Men #59)
Hell of a Wolverine you’ve got there, Mr. Kubert. (X-Men #59)
JOSEPH I AM CALLING THE POLICE (X-Men #59)
Not quite as good as the Rogue/Gambit kiss from #41, but still… whoa. (X-Men #59)
I’M HUGE (X-Men #59)
“For instance, I can see through this utterly massive chin.” (Wolverine Annual 1996)
Josef Stalin..? (Wolverine Annual 1996)
Up… (Wolverine Annual 1996)
…and up… (Wolverine Annual 1996)
…and up. (Wolverine Annual 1996)
“General Grievious, sir, it’s the Jedi!” (Wolverine Annual 1996)
You know, I think this might be Sunfire’s best non-Age of Apocalypse look! (Wolverine Annual 1996)
*Pacific Rim music plays* (and now it’s in your head too) (Wolverine Annual 1996)
Logan, that… that was there before. Maybe you need to adjust your bandana. (Wolverine Annual 1996)
NEXT TIME: The Silver Age with Max Carleton!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING