Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 279 – Giant-Size Special #8

Listen to the episode here!



LINKS & FURTHER FESTIVITY:



The full list of winners of the 2019 Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence will be posted separately on 12/30.

279 – Giant-Size Special #8

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay would absolutely fight Christmas; we welcome guest X-Perts Christina Strain and Chip Zdarsky; a gift arrives; we consider the relationship of Generation X to Generation X; it is really not okay to leave your discarded skins lying around; D.O.A. is inordinately delightful; Chamber is the punk Shadow; Gateway goes to school; the Generation X TV movie is very, very bad; telepathy is free; the grown-ups are all right; home sucks; freedom rocks; Mondo deserves better; Matt Frewer did most things first; Kevin McNulty has appeared in literally everything; and you remain our favorites, ever.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mutation, for some value of the term
  • Holidays and the observation thereof
  • December 9
  • Jay’s ideal Christmas
  • How Chris Bachalo’s name is pronounced (more) (again) (sorry)
  • Several promotions
  • Generation X
  • Generation X #1-4
  • Generation X
  • Husk (Paige Guthrie)
  • M (Monet St. Croix)
  • Skin (Angelo Espinosa)
  • Synch (Everett Thomas)
  • Chamber (Jonothon Starsmore)
  • The New Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters
  • Counting Genises
  • The housekeeping implications of body horror
  • The M retcon
  • Continuity in costume design
  • The Danger Grotto
  • Emplate (somewhat)
  • D.O.A.
  • Penance (not that one)
  • Scrabble burns
  • An alternate take on power duplication
  • Mondo ()
  • The return of Nanny and the Orphanmaker
  • Eliot ()
  • A tentative friendship
  • How the Age of Apocalypse comes to Generation X
  • A movie that never fails to disappoint
  • The vagaries of adaptation
  • The best on-screen Emma Frost
  • Gang emails of the 1990s
  • Refrax
  • Buff
  • William Castle
  • The comedic genealogy of Max Headroom
  • Hatley Castle
  • The 2019 Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence

NEXT WEEK: Jay & Miles go on vacation!
NEXT EPISODE: Bishop goes solo!


Special thanks to Christina Strain, Douglas Wolk, and Chip Zdarsky; and–always–to Matt Hunter, David Wynne, Tea Fougner, Anna Sheffey, and all of our patrons and listeners!


Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 229 – Giant-Size Special #7

Listen to the episode here.



LINKS & FURTHER FESTIVITY:

Click through for Corbeau Awards and song lyrics!

Continue reading

229 – Giant-Size Special #7

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we are beset by festivity; Scott Summers still can’t take a vacation; the Daysprings are a really good family; “G’journey” is a really good greeting; Stryfe is his own namesake; retcons have served Cable well; illustrator David Wynne makes his X-Plain podcast debut; and you should probably go ahead and get a shelf for all these awards.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Hayes family
  • The Grey-Summers Family circa 1993
  • The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1-4
  • Summers/Sommers disambiguation
  • Gene Ha
  • Time travel
  • Earth-4935
  • Mother Askani
  • Prelate Ch’vayre
  • What “Askani” means
  • When and whether Cable sleeps
  • The passage of time
  • Slym and Redd Dayspring
  • A biblical allusion
  • A very good greeting
  • Prior Turrin
  • “Old” English
  • Li’l Stryfe
  • Some constraints of superhero comics
  • Parenting
  • Rachel Summers’s self-image
  • The origin of Cable’s codename
  • David Wynne and his art
  • “Strontium Dogs”
  • The X-Fandom starter pack
  • The Fifth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
  • D&D with the Blue Team
  • All-New staying power
  • Fictional intersectionality
  • Change, in general

NEXT EPISODE: Bring kleenex.


CORRECTION: In this episode, Miles states that Scott and Jean are cool. They are, in fact, categorically uncool. We regret the error.


Special thanks to carolers Tina Carleton, Matt Gardner, Peter Gresser, Erin Pence, and Steve Pence!


Check out the visual companion to this episode–along with all the song lyrics and the complete Corbeau awards–on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 226 – Les Mutants

Listen to the podcast here!



At the End of the Fight

Lyrics by Jay Edidin, with apologies to Herbert Kretzmer

Performed by *Luz Bianca, Greg Black, Jeremy Borders, Lucas Brown, Kitty Byrne, *Tina Carelton, *Finn Carter, Everett Christensen, Veryan Croggan, Chris Eddleman, *Christina Eddleman, edibleflowers, Sol Foster, Emily Freville, Matt Gardner, Eric Michael Gray, Pete Gresser, Becky Hawkins, Andrew Hill, Jeff Holland, Al Kennedy, Steve Lacey, Kevin Lanigan, Elana Levin, *Alex Lundquist, Dan McMahon, William Mason, Steve Neal, notwhelmedyet (Lynn), Duck Orsino, Shannon Pack, Erin Pence, *Steve Pence, Philthy, Mariana Poole, rainproof, Samantha Riedel, Scott Sharplin, Adam Slevison, Richaundra Thursday, Dave Tomaine, Devin Toohey, and Grace Young.
*Soloists

[X-FACTOR]
At the end of the fight you’re another page older
And that’s all you can say for the X-Factor life
It’s a struggle, it’s a war
And just when you think that you’re winning
You find yourself stuck on the moon, facing down Stryfe
And the fight’s just beginning

At the end of the fight you’re another fight older
And the X on your jacket won’t keep out the chill
And the readers all hurry past
To the six other X-books they’re buying
As the Legacy Virus spreads fast, ready to kill
One fight nearer to dying

[COMPANY]
A tthe end of the fight there’s another fight coming
A crossover next week, an annual soon
Like a storm that’ll break any second
Foreshadowing Fatal Attractions
There’s a reckoning still to be reckoned
Plus the critics’ hot takes and reactions
And the future is not looking bright
At the end of the fight

[VAL COOPER]
At the end of the fight there will be a debriefing
You don’t get to slack in a government job

[STRONG GUY]
We’ve got better things to do
And this system doesn’t seem fair
After all, we threw all the punches

[POLARIS]
Plus, we don’t care

[STRONG GUY+ WOLFSBANE]
And we need a vacation.

[MULTIPLEMAN]
Have you seen how Val Cooper is fuming today

[QUICKSILVER]
She might be possessed, she seems so out of sorts

[VAL]
Step it up Summers, there’s paperwork waiting–
They’re not dissertations, just mission reports

[COMPANY]
At the end of the fight it’s another fight over
To whatever extent superhero fights end
Fight Magneto, fight the Blob
Fight some guy we just met in a sewer
What the hell, at least it’s a job
Just find us the next evildoer
‘Cause there’s no resolution in sight
At the end of the fight


LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE:

226 – Les Mutants

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Havok actually used to be pretty great; there are at least four attorneys in the Marvel Universe; Genosha continues to be wildly problematic; Hieronymus Bosch was not Comics Code-compliant; Quicksilver goes on vacation; Polaris has no time for your love triangle; Wolfsbane can maul as many magistrates as she wants; and Multiple Man makes a choice.

X-PLAINED:
• Damian Tryp
• An unconventional staffing practice
• Genosha (more) (again)
• The devolution of Alex Summers’ personality
• Several attorneys in the Marvel Universe
X-Factor #88-91
• Random (Marshall Stone III)
• Joe Quesada’s signature ribbons
• Checkbook heroism
• Kids these days
• Genoshan reconstruction
• Several gardens of earthly delights
• Puberty
• A mercifully abandoned plan
• A conspiracy
• A significant tonal shift
• Mutate #24601
• RoboJean
• Genosha’s sanitation system
• Dick Chalker
Magneto Rex
• Humans in Magneto’s Genosha

NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine vs. everything


Thanks to everyone who helped bring Jay’s weird musical dream to life:

*Luz Bianca, Greg Black, Jeremy Borders, Lucas Brown, Kitty Byrne, *Tina Carelton, *Finn Carter, Everett Christensen, Veryan Croggan, Chris Eddleman, *Christina Eddleman, edibleflowers, Sol Foster, Emily Freville, Matt Gardner, Eric Michael Gray, Pete Gresser, Becky Hawkins, Andrew Hill, Jeff Holland, Al Kennedy, Steve Lacey, Kevin Lanigan, Elana Levin, *Alex Lundquist, Dan McMahon, William Mason, Steve Neal, notwhelmedyet (Lynn), Duck Orsino, Shannon Pack, Erin Pence, *Steve Pence, Philthy, Mariana Poole, rainproof, Samantha Riedel, Scott Sharplin, Adam Slevison, Richaundra Thursday, Dave Tomaine, Devin Toohey, and Grace Young.

*Soloists

Special thanks to Juliana Finch, Christian Lipski, and Laser Webber for technical advice; Christina Eddleman for recording the demo track; and Matt Gardner and Peter Gresser for [Easter egg description redacted].


Check out the visual companion to this episode–as well as the full lyrics to “At the End of the Fight”–on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 134 – Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival

Listen to the episode here.



Here are the lyrics to all thirty-nine verses of Dear Mister Sinister (you’ll have to hit Tea or Scott up for the chords):

Dear Mister Sinister
My name is Alex; I’ve
Got a school project
I hope you can help with
 
My teacher said we have to
Map out our families
Parents and grandparents
Brothers and sisters
 
She gave us poster board
She gave us markers, but
I’m having trouble with
Several specifics
 
You see, I’m adopted
But I’ve got a brother
We used to have parents
We don’t anymore
 
Dad’s name was Christopher
Mom’s name was Katherine
Dad’s mom and dad were named
Philip and Deborah
 
That part is easy, the
Trouble’s my brother, see
His name is Scott and he’s
Kind of a pain
 
But that’s not the problem, the
Problem is Maddy and
Nathan and Rachel and
Also some time travel
 
Maddy is Scott’s ex, and
Nathan’s their son, he
Grew up in the future
And Scott and Jean raised him
 
Jean is another ex
Maddy’s her clone, but
Jean’s also the Phoenix
Except so is Rachel
 
Rachel’s Scott’s kid
(with Jean not with Maddy)
She’s Mother Askani
Or she will be someday
 
(‘Cept Scott’s not her father
At least, not my brother
Because she was born in
An alternate timeline
 
That said, her parentage
Is somewhat hazy; it
Involves the Phoenix and
Parthenogenesis)
 
Rachel cloned Nathan in
Case of emergency
That clone is Stryfe; he
Was raised by Apocalypse
 
Nathan’s got Hope
Who is also adopted
(She isn’t a clone, though
Her last name was Spalding)
 
His son was named Tyler
But Wolverine killed him
And then we all kind of
Forgot he’d existed
 
But that’s Nathan Summers
Nate Grey’s someone different
He’s kind of like Rachel, but
From a worse timeline
 
Nate is a clone or grew
Up in a test tube; And
You might have raised him (Well,
Not you, exactly)
 
And now Scott’s with Emma
And Ruby’s their daughter, at
Least in one future where
Scott is a cyborg
 
They also have kids from
A different timeline; a
daughter named Meagan
With twin baby sisters
 
I married Jan in an
Alternate future and
We had a daughter but
Kang started meddling
 
Our daughter’s named Katie
Or will be or was, and
Her timeline is gone and
It’s kind of an issue
 
Did I forget Hepzibah?
She’s Dad’s new girlfriend, ’cause
Dad’s alive after all
And he’s a space pirate
 
Speaking of space stuff, I
Should mention Gabriel
My younger brother, at
Least ’til I killed him
 
He was born after mom died
And aged artificially
He married Deathbird and
Then he killed Dad again
 
Deathbird was pregnant
The Kree got involved and now;
No one is certain if
She’s given birth yet
 
Oh! And I should tell you
That I am some sort of
Multiversal nexus
Which complicates matters
 
See, there’s also Scotty
(My son, not my brother)
Well, not mine exactly
A parallel Alex’s
 
And that Alex married
a Madelyne Pryor
Who in this dimension
Is Scott’s ex-wife Maddy
 
(I mean Scott, my brother,
Of whom there are two now
And one is sixteen it’s
Incredibly awkward)
 
I’m also supposed
To trace my name’s history
That’s also a problem, see,
‘Cause there’s a time loop
 
‘Cause once Scott went back to
The late Nineteenth Century
To thwart a villain
Or something like that
 
And he saved a guy who
I think was your prisoner
His surname name was Edge, but
He changed it to Summers
 
He came to the States and he’s
My twice-great granddad, which
All seems a bit too
Complex for a poster
 
That’s why I am writing; see,
Your machinations are
Largely at fault for the
Mess that I’m in
 
I used to blame Scott but
It’s really not his fault
You’re clearly the one
Who was pulling the strings
 
Out of some weird obsession
With all our genetics
(Well, less so with mine, but
It’s still pretty creepy)
 
I mean, you cloned Scott’s girlfriend
And kidnapped my nephew
The least you can do is
Help me diagram this
 
Yours very sincerely,
Alex “Havok” Summers
(Scott’s younger brother)
(In case you’d forgotten)
 
Dear Mister Sinister
My name is Alex; I’ve
Got a school project
I hope you can help with
 

134 – Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival (feat. Scott Koblish)

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Deadpool and X-Men ’92 artist Scott Koblish joins us to present the Summers Family Tree as you’ve never experienced it before; the X-Men go to Dante’s Hell; Dr. Strange gets his Virgil on; Wolverine sniffs snakes; Iceman has probably killed a lot of people; and X-Men fans have remained remarkably consistent over the years.

X-PLAINED

  • The Summers family
  • Birthdays at the Xavier mansion
  • A package as sinister as it is stylish
  • Uncanny X-Men King-Size Annual #4
  • One version of Hell
  • A demon who is also a sorting hat
  • Another X-Men crossover conspiracy theory
  • The X-Men’s religious affiliations and lack thereof
  • Nuance of self-narration
  • Snakes with arms, and the vocalizations thereof
  • Dangers of encasing people in ice
  • The death of Stefan Szardos
  • An overly complex revenge plot
  • The origin of that one angry mob from Giant-Size X-Men #1
  • Kinda-incest
  • Reader responses to the Dark Phoenix Saga
  • X-Men vs. board games
  • The appeal of the Outback X-Men
  • Artist-character associations

NEXT EPISODE: Kurt Wagner: Warlord… of our hearts!


DEAR MISTER SINISTER lyrics by Jay Edidin & music by Tea Fougner. Performed by Scott Koblish.


You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!