Morlocks – Page 2 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

311 – Love Makes a Super-Team

October 18, 2020 Jay 16 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we decide to stop recognizing the nominal difference between X-Men and Uncanny X-Men; time travel may or may not wait for you; Mister Sinister has probably appeared in at least one Ed Wood film; we are a pro-Tingle podcast; X-Men is about family; the Braddock twins catch up; Sailor Moon > Shinobi Shaw; Generation X is inducted into the baseball tradition; and Storm does what she does with Morlocks in sewers.

X-PLAINED:

Franklin Richards’ impressive lineage
311
Yet another structure for annuals
X-Men Annual 1995
Uncanny X-Men #325
Serious academic discussions
Faye Livingstone
Mister Sinister’s Hollywood adventures
Tyler Dayspring / Tolliver / Genesis (again)
Teenage optimism
An absolutely nonsensical villainous plot
A Hank McCoy that might have been
Friendship
Fraternal correspondence
Romance
Morlocks
The first time Storm stabbed a Morlock leader in the heart
Gene Nation
A really excessive cover
An intergenerational baseball game
Another fairly nonsensical villainous plot
The second time Storm stabbed a Morlock leader in the heart
X-horror
Other media X-fans may enjoy reading, playing, or watching

NEXT EPISODE: Bob Proehl X-Plains the Resonant Duology!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 307 – Ugly Mootants Only

September 13, 2020 Jay 6 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

It’s okay. They’re just gonna end up in another dimension. Kind of. I guess. (Cable #15)

If Thornn had managed to catch her, would she have joined up with Artie and Leech to become an unstoppable triumvirate of moppets? The world may never know. (Cable #15)

NOW KISS (Cable #15)

The Ceremony of Light. (Cable #15)

In six years, Paige is definitely going to be the drunk girl standing outside the women’s bathroom and very sincerely telling everyone who goes in or comes out how beautiful they are. (Generation X #5)

Just don’t try any allogrooming and you’ll be okay. (Generation X #5)

I LOVE THIS TURTLE. (Generation X #5)

Not Davis, and that’s okay. (Generation X #5)

There is… a lot going on here. (Generation X #6)

You may have a lot of monitors, Dark Beast, but you’ll never top Cameron Hodge as Quintessential Villain with a Roomful of Monitors. (Generation X #6)

Bachalo draws such good Wolverine! (Generation X #6)

Next Episode: holy shit jay wrote an x-men comic

LINKS & FURTHER SHAMELESS PROMOTION:

You can find relevant info about X-Men: Marvels Snapshots #1 over here…
…and find a comics shop from which to purchase it here…
…or just go straight to our favorite, Books With Pictures!

307 – Ugly Mootants Only

September 13, 2020 Jay 21 comments

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In which Cable has clearly inherited his father’s inability to go on a date that doesn’t end disastrously; Husk is a lightweight; we are very taken with a turtle; you really don’t want to run into the other Hemingway in an elevator, either; Jubilee can speak in logos; and Wolverine gives some fatherly advice.

X-PLAINED:

One way to get your powers back
Cable #15
Generation X #5-6
X-Men: Marvels Snapshots #1 (Coming September 16)
Cable, in general
A date
“Sheer” fabrics
What we’d bring to desert islands
Sarah (Marrow)
The Ceremony of Light
Several generations of mutant teenagers
Generation X and its members (more) (again)
Chamber’s socks
Gateway’s taste in television
Husk’s extremely low alcohol tolerance
Some cool lettering
Banshee is to Chris Bachalo as Nightcrawler is to Alan Davis
Fridge wolves
NYC celebrity encounters
The ongoing legacy of X-kids with gross powers
Teenagers
Hemingway, but not that Hemingway
The return of Artie and Leech
Bones
How we would incorporate the X-Men into the MCU

NEXT EPISODE: Snapshots!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 301 – Can’t Beat the Real Thing

July 19, 2020 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

This is in fact an ENTIRELY REASONABLE position under the circumstances. (X-Men Prime #1)

Dennis is his own disparaging narrator. (X-Men Prime #1)

I don’t know why John Constantine is here to question Trish Tilby’s ethics, but SOMEONE needs to. (X-Men Prime #1)

Why is Val here? WHO KNOWS? (X-Men Prime #1)

Pretty sure this is supposed to be Onslaught, but it’s not going to be confirmed, so… (X-Men Prime #1)

“I repurposed all the brain parts that would normally go to fashion sense. On one hand, I can keep track of every team in play. On the other hand, this is how I dress myself.” (X-Men Prime #1)

Mondays, amirite? (X-Men Prime #1)

That’s… exactly what a chaperone is, though. (X-Men Prime #1)

GUYS SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE JUST IN A HURRY (X-Men Prime #1)

Just wait ’til Age of X-Man. (X-Men Prime #1)

Emplate: still exceptionally creepy. (X-Men Prime #1)

nopenopenopenopenope (X-Men Prime #1)

I’ve seen at least three horror movies that basically start this way. (X-Men Prime #1)

NEXT EPISODE: The fall of Avalon, and some related situation comedy.

LINKS & FURTHER HOMECOMINGS:

301 – Can’t Beat the Real Thing

July 19, 2020 Jay 19 comments

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In which we enter our fourth century of podcasting with brand new theme music; we have both Wolverine questions and wolverine questions; it is extremely rough to be Bishop; the creator of Garfield may or may not live in a sewer on Earth-616; Rogue needs better coping mechanisms; bigotry is depressingly timeless; and everything is Onslaught now.

X-PLAINED:

Joseph’s Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
Our new theme music
X-Men Prime #1
A genuinely cool cover gimmick
What happened after the end of the world
Boundaries
War crimes vs. fashion crimes
Destruction of real landmarks in fiction
A mysterious assailant
Actual embodied chaos god Jim Davis and his Earth-616 namesake
Several memorable Garfield stories
Marrow (Sarah Rushman)
The secret origin of the Morlocks
A friendship we miss
Unhealthy coping mechanisms
The perennially dubious journalistic ethics of Trish Tilby
Dennis
The death of Dennis
Flaws of the mutant metaphor (more) (again)
Several refugees from Earth-295
Mr. Summers and Mr. Summers
The secret origin of the Genoshan mutates
The Acolytes
The continuing relevance of the mutant metaphor (more) (again)
Cross-universe characterization

NEXT EPISODE: The fall of Avalon!

NOTE: The Garfield strips Jay mentions appeared in newspapers, on purpose, in October 1989.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 220 – On Your Bike

October 29, 2018 Jay 4 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Who wore it better? (Excalibur #61)

I’m pretty sure nobody actually cares about Micromax; but, whatever. (Excalibur #61)

Widget, stop that immediately. (Excalibur #61)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (Excalibur #61)

If there’s anything this series has taught us, it’s never to trust a man named Nigel. (Excalibur #62)

In case you’re wondering, most of this visual companion is going to be pictures of cool-looking Warpies. (Excalibur #62)

No, seriously. (Excalibur #62)

Aw, Beetroot. (Excalibur #62)

This poor kid. (Excalibur #62)

*Snerk* (Excalibur #62)

WARPIES, THO (Excalibur #63)

Aw. (Excalibur #63)

What’s that you say? More Warpies? WE’VE GOT YOUR BACK! (Excalibur #63)

I’m not even going to bother captioning these. You know the drill. (Excalibur #63)

(Excalibur #63)

Widget and the amazing technicolor future genocide by giant r–well, that took a bit of a turn. (Excalibur #64)

PRO TIP: If you stare long enough at your friends and neighbors’ faces without blinking, they will also do this eventually. (Excalibur #65)

Rowr. (Excalibur #65)

“Well, that can’t be good.” (Excalibur #65)

Ouch, dang. (Excalibur #65)

Aw, Oak. You’re a good dude. (Excalibur #65)

And that, as they say, is that. For now. (Excalibur #65)

NEXT EPISODE: Space Fight!

LINKS & FURTHER DUBIOUS LIFE CHOICES:

COME SEE US THIS COMING WEEKEND AT VEGAS VALLEY COMIC BOOK FESTIVAL!
For more in-depth coverage of pre-Excalibur Captain Britain, check out Episode 97 – The Crooked World and Episode 98 – Between Alien Visitations and Drunken Sulks.
Jay wasn’t kidding about the kid from Flight of the Navigator robbing a bank.

220 – On Your Bike

October 29, 2018 Jay 7 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which we approach the end of Alan Davis’s Excalibur run; “duopenultimate” is not actually a word; Captain Britain pops the question; we do in fact (kinda) get follow-up on Alysande Stuart’s death; Miles needs to get a little less credulous about bureaucrats’ good intentions; Shadowcat engages in espionage; Nightcrawler and Cerise are tactically saucy; and the sun definitely ought to set on the British Empire.

X-PLAINED:

Warpies
Excalibur #61-65
The Jaspers Warp (more) (again)
The RCX (more) (again)
Agents Gabriel and Michael
What happened to Jay’s mom’s Hypercolor™ T-shirt
What not to do with a dead parrot
Several Hamlet references
Scott Wright (MicroMax)
The Cherubim
Cloud Nine
Agent Peter (Nigel Orpington-Smythe)
Warpie naming conventions
Beetroot
Screen tone
An idiom
Evasive makeouts
A specific thing on The Gifted
Why Kitty Pryde tends to go by her given name

NEXT EPISODE: Space Fight!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 203 – The X-Man’s Burden

July 1, 2018 Miles 3 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Hmm. Well. (Uncanny X-Men #291)

Impressive pajamas! Ever-present shotguns! Sexy (not-quite-) dead girls! Extra-spiky Archangel Wings! Banter! This one’s got it all. (Uncanny X-Men #291)

I know you were in the Void Dimension for a while, Mikhail, but… did you forget how shirts work? (Uncanny X-Men #291)

I don’t know what it is about the astral plane being colored with highlighters that works for me, but man, does it ever. (Uncanny X-Men #291)

I go back and forth on Tom Raney’s art, but he draws a hell of a Callisto. (Uncanny X-Men #291)

This is a cool group shot and all, but PLEASE NOTE THE MORLOCK WHO IS VERY EXCITED TO EAT A ROCK. Or bash his buddy with it, I guess. But I’m pretty sure he’s eating it. (Uncanny X-Men #291)

But… the Morlocks were never trapped! Well, I guess now they’re extra not trapped. (Uncanny X-Men #291)

One of my very favorite 90s covers of all time, only improved by the confusing colorful party lights above the logo. (Uncanny X-Men #292)

In the next panel, Colossus and Bishop passionately kiss. (Uncanny X-Men #292)

I’ll give Mikhail one thing: he’s legitimately scary. (Uncanny X-Men #292)

Warren, you’ve been through a lot, but… you do know that this is the other place you were nailed to a wall in the Morlock tunnels, right? Right? (Uncanny X-Men #292)

Miles had so many nightmares about this guy 26 years ago. (Uncanny X-Men #292)

To be fair, Callisto keeps all of her clothing in pots. Storm, having played Zelda>, does not. (Uncanny X-Men #292)

Sure, Professor Xavier can be a jerk – but every once in a while, we remember why he runs the school. (Uncanny X-Men #292)

We’ve all got that family member. (Uncanny X-Men #293)

The advantage of being drawn in a 90s superhero comic is that you can do this. (Uncanny X-Men #293)

Everything about that last panel is solid gold. (Uncanny X-Men #293)

I know we say that Cannonball is the best kid or that Warlock is the best kid, but Colossus is kind of also the best kid. (Not that his judgment is necessarily all that great…) (Uncanny X-Men #293)

God, right in the heart. (Uncanny X-Men #293)

NEXT TIME: Miles and Hub talk travel back to the Bronze Age!

The rad lawyer we mentioned in the episode is Katie Lane – check out her website for all kinds of good stuff!

203 – The X-Man’s Burden

July 1, 2018 Miles 35 comments

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In which the Morlocks used to have more agency, we have a surprising amount to say about the Rat King from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Archangel receives some exceptionally disturbing news, and 90s comics are all about finding the parts you love.

X-PLAINED:

Marrow’s internal organs
The post-Image Exodus era
Judging books by their covers
Uncanny X-Men #291-293
Sexy dead girls (again)
The Morlock leadership vacuum
A significant Callisto personality retcon
Failures of leadership due to own-death-faking
The magical life and magical death of the Morlock Sewer Wizard
Science Made Stupid
Storm’s claustrophobia (again)
MeMe, scourge of Miles’s childhood
90s Jean Grey: cartoon vs comic
The Br’er Rabbit Technique
Some unfortunate and significant continuity errors
Professor Xavier’s impressive upper body strength
Mikhail Rasputin’s genuinely terrifying mutant powers
Bobby Drake’s potential
Morlock organizational techniques
Mikhail Rasputin’s very bad plan
Jean Grey’s real talk
The Home for Infinite Losers
Piotr Rasputin, tragedy collector
Copyright law and Fair Use
Queer headcanon
X-beards

NEXT EPISODE: Hub from Titan Up the Defense joins Miles to talk Bronze Age X-weirdness!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)