Moonstar – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 470 – Large Adult Men

December 1, 2024 Jay 2 comments

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Nipples? Spigots? Weirdly evenly spaced barnacles? You be the judge! (Cable #73)

Neither that font nor that neck is acceptable. (Cable #73)

The fonts in this book are killing me. (Cable #73)

Hug #1. (Cable #73)

Hug #2. (Cable #73)

Perspective? I hardly know ‘er! Wait. Damnit. (Cable #73)

What’s REALLY on the CD? Tell us in the comments! (Cable #73)

Caliban: Tailor of Apocalypse! (Cable #73)

The juxtaposition between the art and text in this pane is extremely funny. (Cable #73)

Quick-change! (Cable #74)

Deathbird, or possibly Warbird now. (Cable #74)

Whoops. (Cable #74)

He looks so over it. (Cable #74)

Ewwwww. (Wolverine #145)

He does look pretty rad, though. (Wolverine #145)

THAT HORSE (Wolverine #145)

Large man being large. (Wolverine #145)

The first time the new claws come out. (Wolverine #145)

NEXT EPISODE: We couldn’t put it off forever.

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE

For more about Wolverine, penetration, and pig masculinity, listen to Episode 420 – The Legendary House of Wolverine.

470 – Large Adult Men

December 1, 2024 Jay 9 comments

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In which Cable may or may not have been a spokesperson for AT&T; it’s impossible to draw a CD dramatically; Wolverine gets his adamantium back; Apocalypse says the thing; and we probably can’t keep putting off The Twelve forever.

X-PLAINED:

One way to dispose of a corpse
Cable #73-74
Wolverine #145
Cable (more) (again)
Poor font choice
Sarcophagus nipples
Caliban (more) (again)
Impromptu tailoring
A cliched vignette
People talking on couches
A compact disc
Unpleasant reunions
An impressive outfit
Prior generations of horsemen of Apocalypse
Wolverine (more) (again)
How Wolverine ended up a horseman of Apocalypse
Apocalypse’s aesthetic
Wolverine vs. Hulk (yet again)
Which version of Magik was on Krakoa
An X-Men pitch in the style of Spidey and his Amazing Friends

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve begins!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 469 – Killed by Death

December 1, 2024 Jay Leave a comment

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“Okay, everybody dig in!” (Uncanny X-Men #375)

And the fun begins. (Uncanny X-Men #375)

Professor Xavier is a jerk. (Uncanny X-Men #375)

“Can I touch it?” (Uncanny X-Men #375)

Jaq and Fiz. (X-Men #95)

I can’t be the only one who finds this whole scene hilarious. (X-Men #95)

Well, damn. (X-Men #95)

Ouch. (X-Men Unlimited #25)

NEXT EPISODE: Solo shenanigans!

469 – Killed by Death

November 24, 2024 Jay 3 comments

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In which the Shattering officially concludes; you can’t swoop over the phone; toddlers are engines of pure chaos; the X-Men do some processing; and we are mildly scandalized by the absence of footnotes.

X-PLAINED:

Rama-Tut
Evan Sabahnur
Uncanny X-Men #375
X-Men #95
X-Men Unlimited #25
Skrull problems
One very upsetting way to identify a traitor
Skrullverine
Fiz and Jaq
The Ally
A ruse
Death’s mask
A dramatic revelation
Processing
The unrealized potential of Spirit Halloween
Wolverine memories
Rogue’s temporary tattoos
Yet another time loop

NEXT EPISODE: We segue into solo series!

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 464 – The Cigarettes of Damocles

October 3, 2024 Miles 2 comments

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The life of a Lyft driver is wild, man. (X-Force #96)

“Weirdest cigarette I ever seen.” (X-Force #96)

So Thomas/Tyler Guthrie is the Super Saiyan version of Sam? (X-Force #96)

Somebody call Occult Animal Control! (X-Force #96)

The award for Most Dramatic Lounging goes to… (X-Force #96)

Okay, Deviants, just because you look cool doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be bigoted jerks. (X-Force #96)

Sledge is wearing his ass-kicking fringe. (X-Force #96)

Lucas owns better socks – he just wears these for effect. (X-Force #96)

What we like about Selene is that she’s subtle. (X-Force #97)

Wow, healthcare really is better in other countries. (X-Force #97)

Hey, it’s a The Predator! Hello, The Predator! (X-Force #97)

Ah, so that’s how Ash Wednesday works! (X-Force #97)

Does this junkyard robo-dog fight contribute to the plot? No. Is it awesome? Obviously. (X-Force #97)

Selene is seriously never in a normal position! And we love it. (X-Force #97)

I’m pretty sure that Odysseus’s powers just made a BOI-OI-OING sound. (X-Force #97)

GNORFF (X-Force #97)

Yeah, DaCosta is da best! (X-Force #98)

Storm : Enclosed Spaces :: Cannonball : Dying Miners (X-Force #98)

Sunspot attends Selene’s art gallery opening, Concerned and X-Treme. (X-Force #98)

I never get tired of how Mephisto wears a trenchcoat like any given World of Darkness character. (X-Force #98)

Oof, that body language. (X-Force #98)

Jeez, I guess Miles could’ve skipped those four years of psychology. (X-Force #98)

YIPE YIPE YIPE (X-Force #98)

“So you see, that’s where the trouble began. That smile. That damned smile.” (X-Force #98)

NEXT TIME: Prepare to be Astonished! Maybe!

464 – The Cigarettes of Damocles

September 29, 2024 Jay 6 comments

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In which X-Force is kind of silly; that really isn’t what “quantum” means; polite and lawful are two entirely different things, and Sam Guthrie is only one of them; Selene vogues; and the Hellfire Club plays the dead girlfriend card.

X-PLAINED:

Blackheart
The Damocles Foundation (more) (again)
Lucas Bartholomew Guthrie
The difference between prisons and jails
X-Force #98-98
Whether Dr. Octopus enjoys the literary stylings of Elmore Leonard
One way to get out of prison
The Glitterbox
An unsuccessful heist
Celestial cigarettes and/or golems
Thomas and/or Tyler Zebulon and/or Zeke Guthrie
Demon Bears as urban pests
Selene, Always Voguing
Gatherers
Various evil scientists
The Sword
Junkyard life
Lenny Delmonico
Psychic rodeos
Nightmare chambers
Bat sex
An offer Sunspot can’t refuse
Hank McCoy’s villain arc
New Mutant superlatives

NEXT EPISODE: Astonishing X-Men!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

461 – Things to Do in Denver When You’re X-Force

September 1, 2024 Jay 8 comments

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In which Magneto may be right but is also wildly impractical; X-Force goes on a sneaking mission; Magneto isn’t mad, he’s just disappointed; Rictor and Shatterstar return; Strong is not a common surname in the Marvel universe; and being a mutant on TV doesn’t mean you’re one in the comics.

X-PLAINED:

How Jubilee became a vampire
The most X-treme youth of them all
X-Force 94-95
X-Force Annual 1999
Genosha
Butler disambiguation
Clown jobs
A team-up predicated on an awkward breakup
Hammer Town
Delphi
Memory boxes
Several potential continuity error
Names
Genoshan robots
Archie
A hierarchy of potential fates
Vershiagen Industries and/or Vershlagen Industries
V2
Hanrancha
Stronghold
Martin Strong
Freddie
Michelle Balters (Neurotap) (more) (again)
Communication with X-teams
A sudden and depressing resolution
Continuity across media
Why Gambit doesn’t (usually) throw tarot cards

NEXT EPISODE: The Return of the Hellions (kinda)

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 448 – Skamageddon

May 5, 2024 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

The two Emma Frosts: Shadowy and Pouty. (X-Force #87)

James Proudstar x-plains Uncanny X-Men #281. (X-Force #87)

Reconnecting via X-Factoring. (X-Force #87)

Now that is a lair. (X-Force #87)

Magma’s back! And she’s a jerk! (X-Force #87)

Meet Paradigm. (X-Force #87)

The New New Mutants vs. the New Hellions. New. (X-Force #88)

We can accept covering Empath’s face with word balloons – but hey, show some respect to Firestar! (X-Force #88)

Feral’s back – just in time to wreck Jay’s voice again! (And Siryn’s, but we’ll get to that later.) (X-Force #88)

Life got complicated since the last time these two saw each other. (X-Force #88)

X-Force’s x-treme tactics have just saved us like half an issue of misunderstandings! (X-Force #88)

The techno-organic virus: bad for free will and not great for skin health. (X-Force #88)

Paradigm x-plains X-Force. (X-Force #89)

This party sucks! (X-Force #89)

Blood relation has no inherent virtue. (X-Force #89)

Aww, there’s plenty of logic! Just look at the little manual that comes with most Tarot decks! (X-Force #89)

Among Dani’s new powers is the ability to turn robot-guys into eggs. (X-Force #89)

Kind of a weird font choice. Times New Armageddon? (X-Force #89)

Feral never misses an opportunity to learn the worst possible lesson. (X-Force #90)

Tarot, is that really a new manifestation of your mutant power, or did you just rob a Spirit Halloween? (X-Force #90)

Welp, I guess the entire West coast is completely demolished and will take decades to rebuild. Funny how no other comics have mentioned that… (X-Force #90)

Sorry, Jesse. Your brother is the absolute worst. (X-Force #90)

Sam Guthrie: annoying people into virtue since 1980-something. (X-Force #90)

BADDA BOOM (X-Force #90)

Aww. (X-Force #90)

NEXT TIME: Talking X-costumes with Russell Dauterman!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

Want one of our 10th Anniversary prints? Contact Books With Pictures!
The Judgment of Magneto by Asher Elbein

448 – Skamageddon

May 5, 2024 Miles 5 comments

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In which timeline math is almost never worth it; Tarot comes back from the dead (kind of) (maybe); Magma makes a heel turn; “King Bedlam” would be a great name for a ska band; not every nude man can turn into a bear; and you don’t have to talk to your supervillain relatives.

X-PLAINED:

The Triune Understanding
Birthday party follow-up
X-Force #87-90
Legacy and continuity
Bedlam (Jesse Aaronson)
Tarot (Marie-Ange Colbert)
Goat Simulator
King Bedlam (Christopher Aaronson)
The New Hellions
Perils of body-swapping
Linear time
Science
Armageddon Man
Paradigm
Senator Owen Danville
Family
A fancy hat
Madame Web
Many natural disasters
Early Genoshan history
Longshot as a villain

NEXT EPISODE: Dressing the X-Men with Russell Dauterman!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!