Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 473 – The Baker’s Dozen (The Twelve, Part Three)

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You know it’s serious business when someone smashes the logo. (Uncanny X-Men #377)
How long did it take him to set up that machinery? (Uncanny X-Men #377)
He said it! He said it! (Uncanny X-Men #377)
Apocalypse’s balls. (Uncanny X-Men #377)
Apocalypse’s balls, version two. (Cable #76)
A younger Cable. (Cable #76)
Aw, man. (Cable #76)
FEELINGS. (Cable #76)
Potato snow. (Cable #76)
Maybe the bodice is scale, not quilted? But it really looks quilted. (Cable #76)
The power of continuity! (X-Men #97)
The chewy center of Apocalypse. (X-Men #97)
And THAT’S how you reference Uncanny X-Men #137. (X-Men #97)
Well, shit. (X-Men #97)
NEXT EPISODE: Jay & Miles 2024 Winter Special!

LINKS & FURTHER ADVENTURES

473 – The Baker’s Dozen (The Twelve, Part Three)

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In which you know it’s serious business when a logo gets smashed; the prophecy of the Twelve is an elaborate prank; we have a lot of Summers family feelings; Apocalypse is not a very good planner; and the Twelve reaches its conclusion.

X-PLAINED:

  • Who Madelyne Pryor’s psychic ghost really is
  • The story so far
  • Uncanny X-Men #377
  • Cable #76
  • X-Men #97
  • Perks of immortality
  • A slightly gratuitous way to destroy an airplane
  • Several doppelgangers
  • Apocalypse’s big, stupid plan
  • A fancy science machine
  • The Atomium
  • The Twelve
  • The three elements
  • The best issue of the Twelve
  • Orb action
  • Cable’s knowledge of history
  • Summers feelings
  • How to establish stakes
  • Potato storms
  • The mutant Skrulls (more) (again)
  • Cadre K
  • Categories of mutants
  • How to beta test an Armageddon machine
  • Alpha nerd Charles Xavier
  • Weaponized continuity
  • The color(s) of Cyclops’s eyes
  • How to evoke Uncanny X-Men #137
  • An unfortunate twist
  • Mundane uses of superpowers
  • The Altar
  • What would have improved the Twelve

NEXT EPISODE: Winter Special!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 472 – Leave Room for Magneto (The Twelve, Part Two)

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Intense emotion, fiddly gadgets, and dramatic narration. What more do you need? (Wolverine #146)
Gravity be damned, Nightcrawler’s going to punch some bricks and stomp some turtles. (Wolverine #146)
Generation Blue, Generation Red. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #211. (Wolverine #146)
Warren Kenneth Worthington III, you give that tiny caveman back his club! (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #170. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #179. (Wolverine #146)
Now that is a fight scene. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #153. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #169. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #148. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #242. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Wolverine #74. (Wolverine #146)
Neat, they’re (psychically) wearing their outfits from that time they were partners in Madripoor! (Wolverine #146)
Angel’s darkness looks like light? You know, that actually makes a lot of sense. (Wolverine #147)
Flechettes! (Wolverine #147)
Referencing… oh, wait, this one actually has a caption. (Wolverine #147)
Poor kid… (Wolverine #147)
United by trauma. (Wolverine #147)
Everyone is just so sharp on this page… (Wolverine #147)
Silhouettes: climax! (Wolverine #147)
Silhouettes: denouement! (Wolverine #147)
“Do I have to call your parents, children?” (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
Heh. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
I wish we saw more of these two together. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
Damaging currency is a federal crime, Wolverine! (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
This page has earned its Kirby Krackle. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
“You see, I have to be extra spooky to even out everyone else’s happiness. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
Like a hairy little astromech droid at a scomp port. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
Science! (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
And they died miserably ever after. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
NEXT TIME: The Twelve concludes!

LINKS & FURTHER FELINES:

472 – Leave Room for Magneto (The Twelve, Part Two)

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In which the Twelve should really be twelve chapters long; Archangel has issues; we continue to bemoan the absence of captions; the X-Men ditch their crossover event for a side quest; Magneto is Genosha’s official chaperone; and we would absolutely elect Emma Frost to a school board.

X-PLAINED:

  • What Cable does next
  • The event so far
  • Wolverine #146-147
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999
  • Whether the Shadow King is moist
  • Why tiny cavemen can’t have nice things
  • Numerous flashbacks and allusions
  • Archangel’s third-stage evolution
  • The Philharmonic Gets Dressed
  • Abraham Kieros (again)
  • Apocalypse as a self-help guru
  • Fully nude Wolverine
  • X-51 #8 (briefly)
  • Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
  • A miracle of magnetism
  • Scomp linking
  • A big fancy machine
  • Exodus (more) (again)
  • Mutants we’d like to see in public office
  • The (theoretical) Essex administration

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve concludes!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 435 – Giant-Size Special #12 (feat. Kieron Gillen)

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Listen to the podcast here! And stay tuned for details of our 10th birthday party, coming April 13 at Books With Pictures!

Illustration by David Wynne
Just look at that cover! (Longshot vol. 2 #1)
Strong Fantastic Planet vibes, no? (Longshot vol. 2 #1)
Meet the Thingee! (Longshot vol. 2 #1)
Heaven, sort of. (Longshot vol. 2 #1)
The Statler and Waldorf of Baum, Kansas. (Longshot vol. 2 #1)
Aw, Betty. (Longshot vol. 2 #1)
Bad times. (Longshot vol. 2 #1)
Residents of the Albony Avenue Sanitarium. (Longshot vol. 2 #1)
The true form of the Thingee. (Longshot vol. 2 #1)
And straight on ’til morning. (Longshot vol. 2 #1)

435 – Giant-Size Special #12 (feat. Kieron Gillen)

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Illustration by David Wynne

In which we have had an eventful year; Longshot is a classic folk hero; writer Kieron Gillen makes a triumphant and mildly terrifying return to the show; and you remain the best listeners of any podcast, ever.

X-PLAINED:

  • Our tenth birthday party!
  • 2023
  • Longshot vol. 2 #1
  • Longshot as a folkloric archetype
  • Longshot (more) (again)
  • Dismal Nitch, Washington
  • The Thingee
  • Baum, Kansas
  • Corn
  • Betty
  • Barrie, Kansas
  • The Albony Avenue Sanitarium and several of its residents
  • Innocence, broadly
  • The Wuggly Ump, by Edward Gorey
  • Love
  • Immortal X-Men
  • Nathaniel Essex and several significant clones thereof
  • Defining Mister Sinister
  • Making Charles Xavier sympathetic
  • Reset phrases
  • Eternals
  • The 10th Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
  • Many people to whom we are grateful

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men: Liberators

NOTE: If you want to avoid Immortal X-Men spoilers in our interview with Kieron Gillen, you can skip to 01:38:50 for the Corbeau Awards!

Special thanks to:

  • Matt Hunter
  • Dylan Higgins
  • Al Kennedy
  • Max Carleton
  • Kieron Gillen
  • Tea Fougner
  • Anna Stokes
  • All of our patrons
  • All of you listening, always <3

“Sinister Is Cloning This Town” performed by Steve and Erin Pence

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 428 – Naked in a Cake

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So who is that in the cake? (Excalibur #124)
A bridal shower! (Excalibur #124)
A bachelor party! (Excalibur #124)
Seriously, why is this a thing (Excalibur #124)
Yep, we’ve missed the Crazy Gang. (Excalibur #124)
Awk-ward (Excalibur #124)
To answer Suzy Eddie Izzard’s question: cake and death! (Excalibur #124)
And then Feron’s life got even worse. (Excalibur #124)
And a good time was had by all… especially Captain UK and Mimic, I assume. (Excalibur #124)
Love and chaos. (Excalibur #125)
Cameos! (Excalibur #125)
More cameos! (Excalibur #125)
I have questions about this pipe organ. (Excalibur #125)
Healthy… communication? Is that a thing in the Marvel Universe? Is that allowed? (Excalibur #125)
WHO INVITED THE NAZIS (Excalibur #125)
And have they ever earned it. (Excalibur #125)
Gatecrasher has the weeds! (Excalibur #125)
Lockheed, I know you want Piotr and Kitty to get together, but I assure you this will not work out. (Excalibur #125)
Nobody does wedding receptions like the Starlight Citadel of Otherworld. (Excalibur #125)
Man, that really is a shockingly tiny invitation. (Excalibur #125)
See, Feron? Just because everyone forgets about you doesn’t mean you have to jump out of a cake to try to murder people! (Excalibur #125)
Saturnyne, this is literally the worst possible time. (Excalibur #125)
Kurt, this is… also not a great time. (Excalibur #125)
Dammit, now I’m tearing up. (Excalibur #125)
And that, as they say, is that. (Excalibur #125)
NEXT TIME: X-Factor is back! Kind of!

428 – Naked in a Cake

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Love and chaos. (Excalibur #125)

In which you shouldn’t invite nazis to your wedding, there’s a lot of multiverse, Captain Britain and Meggan are pretty heteronormative but make it work, everybody forgot Feron, and the next husband will be Gatecrasher’s.

X-PLAINED:

  • Captain Britain varieties
  • The history of Brian Braddock and Meggan Puceanu, abridged
  • Excalibur #124-125
  • Mutants most likely to jump out of a cake
  • The Crazy Gang (again)
  • Meggan’s crush on Colossus
  • Colossus’s guilt about Meggan’s crush on Colossus
  • A surprise bridal shower
  • The return of Captain UK
  • Brian Braddock’s teetotaling techniques
  • Mimic’s ever-changing facial hair
  • Glorious, glorious chaos
  • Poor, poor Feron
  • Multiple awkward conversations
  • The return of Widget and also everyone else
  • Lightning Force (dammit)
  • A lengthy but not exhaustive list of Captains Britain
  • So many cameos
  • …Seriously, so many cameos
  • Dai Thomas’s anti-iron
  • Shockingly healthy communication
  • Bouquet brawls and garter gar-nage
  • A bittersweet ending
  • Nightcrawler’s best outfit
  • The universe where the X-Men X-Plain Jay & Miles
  • Our hypothetical post-finale Excalibur lineup

NEXT EPISODE: The return of X-Factor! Kind of!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 423 – Moby Dick Ice Cream

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Probably not even the fanciest trash can on Muir Island. (Excalibur #121)
She’s fun. (Excalibur #121)
It’s no SMEK, but it’ll do.
What’s doubly interesting about this is that David’s personality isn’t actually there. (Excalibur #121)
And off they go. (Excalibur #121)
Hmm. (Excalibur #122)
That’s a lot of hair. (Excalibur #122)
Spoiler: Not actually the X-Men. (Excalibur #122)
The Mimic and his beard. (Excalibur #122)
The sound of love. (Excalibur #122)
Aw, those wacky kids. (Excalibur #123)
The now-beardless Mimic. (Excalibur #123)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor explodes.

423 – Moby Dick Ice Cream

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In which subtlety is not Sabra’s strong point; Moira takes a vacation; Meggan broods; you should take care in referencing the Dark Phoenix Saga; Excalibur may or may not shave Mimic; and Captain Britain is a silly man.

X-PLAINED:

  • Ghosts
  • Excalibur #121-123
  • The Mutant Underground
  • Empathic recon
  • An extremely disgruntled kiss
  • Kitty’s new costume
  • Several of Legion’s personalities
  • A mysterious disk
  • A very fancy trash can and/or ice cream maker
  • Ice cream of Cloud City
  • A good dog
  • Remains of Operation Zero Tolerance
  • The devolution of Douglock
  • Mimic (Calvin Rankin)
  • Mimic’s facial hair
  • Some Prime Sentinels
  • Wedding planning
  • Liking parts of things
  • Villains who want to marry Storm
  • Maddy Pryor

NEXT EPISODE: The end of X-Factor!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!