Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: miniseries

247 – The Butt-Kick Scale

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Hand probably doesn’t even offer dental; literally everyone is less creepy than the Joker and Harley Quinn; toxic masculinity is Sabretooth’s adamantium; Mark Trail is a wild ride; Wolverine trashes the dress code and gets funky; Larry Hama is your god now; and Sabretooth: Death Hunt scores a solid six on the butt-kick scale.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mark Trail vs. X-Men
  • Sabretooth (Victor Creed)
  • Clones of Sabretooth
  • Birthday traditions
  • Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1-4
  • Ps[i don’t remember; that one guy]
  • Low-context ninjas
  • A somewhat tasteful omission, I guess
  • The glow (and its counterintuitive sound effect)
  • Turbo Sabretooth
  • Tribune (Graydon Creed)
  • Mark Trail
  • Affirmations with Sabretooth
  • “Leni Zauber”
  • Dress codes
  • The butt-kick scale
  • A tearaway tuxedo
  • Dubious grenade handling
  • Parenting with Mystique
  • One thing Wolverine knows
  • The CHK-LIT gun
  • Comics bankers
  • A very qualified recommendation
  • Our preferred versions of Sabretooth’s origin
  • Relative redeemability

NEXT EPISODE: Siena Blaze and the Mystery of the Missing Leprechauns!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 245 – Natural Causes

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I love this cover, and I love this series. (Rogue #1)
I wonder if she just kisses planes every once in a while just in case one turns out to be a Transformer. (Rogue #1)
And that’s how we deal with street harassers. (Rogue #1)
Rogue’s backstory has stayed remarkably consistent over the years, especially by X-Men standards. (Rogue #1)
Gambit’s awkward facial expressions in this series are absolutely delightful. (Rogue #1)
Oh. THIS guy. (Rogue #1)
Meanwhile in a late ’80s music video… (Rogue #1)
The Assassins’ guild has the weirdest cell phone plans. (Rogue #1)
Gambit gets a lot more interesting when you realize his flirting is largely performative. (Rogue #2)
The uncontested champions of Pairs’ Punching! (Rogue #2)
Oh, hell, yeah. (Rogue #2)
As a responsible teacher, Wolverine makes sure to brief all his students about Inverse Ninja Law. (Rogue #3)
“I WAS coming up with new cheers, but den you showed up on dat motorcycle.” (Rogue #3)
I didn’t notice this my first time through, but what the HELL is going on with Lapin’s facial hair? (Rogue #3)
Oh. Hell. Yeah. (Rogue #3)
OH HELL YEAH (Rogue #4)
Seriously, why is Cody eight years old? (Rogue #4)
NEXT EPISODE: Pointy boys, yelling!

LINKS & FURTHER ADVENTURES:

245 – Natural Causes

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Rogue flouts air traffic regulations; Jay is very sorry for how badly he butchers Gambit’s accent; stealth is directly proportionate to how loudly you dress; Rogue and Gambit win the gold in Pairs Punchin’; Candra is a big jerk; you should ABSOLUTELY NOT remove an impaled object; Rogue busts through some tropes; and we have complicated feelings about the Ultimate universe.

X-PLAINED:

  • Rogue’s biological parents
  • Marvel New Orleans
  • Brood Trouble in the Big Easy
  • Rogue/rogue disambiguation
  • Rogue #1-4
  • Bella Donna Boudreaux
  • What may or may not happen if Rogue kisses a Transformer
  • Cody Robbins (again)
  • Natural causes
  • Supervillain funeral crashers (again)
  • Inverse Ninja Law (Law of Conservation of Ninjutsu)
  • The Bill the Pony incident
  • Relative culpability
  • Nature vs. nurture
  • Tante Mattie (Mattie Baptiste)
  • Candra’s new threads
  • How long it takes to drive from Westchester, NY, to Caledcott, MI
  • How Jay learned to love Gambit (but not to stop worrying)
  • Gris-Gris
  • Lapin
  • Fifolet
  • Punching hallucinations
  • Questa
  • Knives as superpowers
  • Inversions of several gendered superhero tropes
  • Closure
  • The limits of intent
  • Magnetos’ (sometimes) kids’ hair
  • Whether we’ll cover Ultimate X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Spiky boys, yelling!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 242 – Spider-Mansfield Park

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Okay, then. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)
…Actually, yeah, it does kind of look like Jello. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)
Flash Thompson should probably not be left in charge of children. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)
These charming reprobates. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)
This is also what he does when he sees someone parked illegally. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)
I’m not sure exactly what is happening with Havok’s hair in this panel, but it is not okay. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)
I bet JJJ smells like an ashtray, like, ALL the time. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)
Spider-Man: He’s Not Phil (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)
“Seriously, have you MET us?” (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #2)
He looks like such a reprobate. It’s great. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #2)
“By the hoary hosts of Hearst!” (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)
“In other breaking news, I have bizarrely tiny hands!” (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)
Aw, poor Mirrorfacemaskperson. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)
I really thought I was losing my mind briefly; but compare Havok’s hair on this page… (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)
…and the subsequent page. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)
It’s like a fight, right? (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)
WHOOPS. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)
NEXT EPISODE: Then…
…and now!

LINKS & FURTHER DIVERSIONS:

242 – Spider-Mansfield Park

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we encounter one of comics’ greatest rarities; Spider-Man cannot actually do whatever a spider can; Flash Thompson subscribes to the X-Factor school of child endangerment; alliteration is the source of a very specific sort of powers; Spider-Man is not Phil; guilt is Spider-Man’s greatest motivator; we root for the antagonists; Guido Carosella would be an epic Twitter monster; a lot of people have hung out with the X-Men; and Glob Herman is a lovable, gross mystery.

X-PLAINED:

  • Spider-Man / X-Men Crossovers
  • Other media we have consumed recently
  • Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games
  • What a spider can do
  • What Spider-Man can do
  • Shadow Force
  • Hard Time
  • Airborne
  • Oversize
  • Firefight
  • Ambush
  • Mirrorshade
  • JELLO Jigglers(TM)
  • Journalistic alliteration
  • The government
  • A comfortable fictional jacket
  • How to find Flash Thompson
  • Many sound effects
  • The untimely death of Mirrorshade
  • Why we’re not covering the Captain Marvel movie
  • Glob Herman’s powers

NEXT EPISODE: Somehow we been doing this for FIVE WHOLE YEARS?!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 175 – Lady Windermere’s Fan Club

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
This series should really be more fun than it is. (X-Men: True Friends #1)
“On one hand, you’re probably doomed. On the other hand, I did your laundry!” (X-Men: True Friends #1)
Excalibur is SUPER into trad night. (X-Men: True Friends #1)
Turning every head… except the one she wants to. (X-Men: True Friends #1)
Rachel Summers: master of subtlety. (X-Men: True Friends #1)
The absence of Dr. Druid from this story is really inexcusable. (X-Men: True Friends #1)
Lilibet wants nothing to do with that ludicrous accent. (X-Men: True Friends #1)
It wouldn’t be a Claremont book without an aviation lesson! (X-Men: True Friends #1)
Ugh. THAT guy. (X-Men: True Friends #2)
FUN FACT: We learned after recording this episode that Edward and Wallis were SUPER into fascism. NOT COOL. (X-Men: True Friends #2)
Laird Hetero McNonthreatening and his amazing Hypercolor kilt! (X-Men: True Friends #2)
AND THEN THIS HAPPENED. (X-Men: True Friends #2)
“If only my bones were made out of something super dense that made me useless underwater, amirite?” (X-Men: True Friends #2)
Hiiiii, Logan. (X-Men: True Friends #2)
“I’ll go kill the Nazis. You kids hang out under the dock and neck, or whatever.” (X-Men: True Friends #2)
He is a man of simple pleasures. (X-Men: True Friends #2)
Welcome to the time loop! Hope you survive the… oh. OH. Sorry. (X-Men: True Friends #3)
Oh, man. (X-Men: True Friends #3)
Don’t fuck with Kitty Pryde. (X-Men: True Friends #3)
I would read the HELL out of a comic about these three. (X-Men: True Friends #3)
This is the best costume Kitty Pryde will ever have, hands down. (X-Men: True Friends #3)
Yaaaawn. (X-Men: True Friends #3)
“Well, I do like redheads…” (X-Men: True Friends #3)
I don’t know what the Sword of Scone is, but it sounds DELICIOUS. (X-Men: True Friends #3)
I really love that the Phoenix Force has defeated Nazis with the power of queerness on AT LEAST TWO DISTINCT OCCASIONS. (X-Men: True Friends #3)
“They’re not corgis, but we suppose that they’ll have to do.” (X-Men: True Friends #3)
NEXT EPISODE: This guy.

175 – Lady Windermere’s Fan Club

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Gambit is transatlantically terrible; Rick Leonardi is the poor man’s Alan Davis (but in a good way); we try and fail to care about British royals; Miles should probably read some Oscar Wilde already; Jay has a lot of feelings about The Rocketeer; Shadowcat gets a genuinely stylish costume; and we would read the hell out of a series about Destiny, Mystique, and Wolverine’s WWII adventures.

X-PLAINED:

  • Why Gambit isn’t welcome in the United Kingdom
  • X-Men: True Friends #1-3
  • The poor man’s Alan Davis
  • Trad night
  • Laird Alasdhair Kinross and his nonthreatening but convenient heterosexuality
  • Inexplicably absent familial relationships
  • Queen Lilibet the Second
  • Lady Regina Windermere
  • Several notable British fascists of the 1930s
  • A snazzy airplane
  • Several nefarious plots
  • Formal pajamas
  • The mystery of the Hypercolor™ kilt
  • A large number of strong feelings about The Rocketeer
  • Kitty Pryde’s best costumes
  • Weaponized cosmic queerness (again)
  • Power, agency, and the Dark Phoenix Saga
  • How characters end up with their specific mutations.

NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine, again.

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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121 – Two Sides of a Narcissistic Coin (feat. Ben Acker)

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Art by David Wynne.
Art by David Wynne.

In which Jay may or may not have sold their voice to a sea witch; Gambit and Deadpool are somewhat lackadaisical superheroes; everything Fat Cobra does is amazing; Miles is a prepared gentleman; Gambit is there to look pretty and throw something; and there is now a Ben Acker vocaloid hovering around the studio.

X-PLAINED:

  • Acker & Blacker
  • Thrilling Adventure Hour
  • X-Men #214, but not the real one
  • Deadpool v. Gambit
  • As-needed approach to continuity
  • The ontology of Deadpool
  • The time the Absorbing Man turned into cocaine
  • Wolverine Season One
  • What makes Gambit creepy
  • The roadtrip miniseries you didn’t know you needed
  • A theoretical poker game and its theoretical outcome

NEXT EPISODE: Atlantis Attacks!

There is no visual companion to this episode! Go read Deadpool v. Gambit! It’s great!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Contact David Wynne to inquire after the original of this week’s illustration.

As Mentioned in Episode 79 – Bear on a Boat

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 10/25/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Look! It’s Captain America! And… Dr. Druid. Okay, then. (X-Men vs. Avengers #1)
We see what you did, there. (X-Men vs. Avengers #1)
That… could have gone better. (X-Men vs. Avengers #1)
Let’s all take a moment to appreciate the fact that Wolverine is wearing a cowboy hat with his swim trunks. (X-Men vs. Avengers #1)
“But they don’t trust me! I know! I’ll sneak away! That’ll help!” (X-Men vs. Avengers #1)
Magneto’s old helmet does not really work with his new disco neckline. (X-Men vs. Avengers #2)
EVERYBODY FIGHT! (X-Men vs. Avengers #2)
*rimshot* (X-Men vs. Avengers #2)
“We could resolve this peacefully, and–actually, nah, you know what? Let’s just punch each other for another two issues.” (X-Men vs. Avengers #2)
So, that happened. (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
“Howsabout bears? You got a problem with those, too?” (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
It’s not a miniseries until Rogue’s clothes explode. (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
MAGNETISM! (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
You’re a crook, Captain Hook! (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
It’s kind of like The Lady or the Tiger, only it’s The Naked Dude and the Bear but also They’re the Same Person, so actually it’s not really very much like The Lady or the Tiger at all. (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
Oh, generic Government Man. Never change. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
Well, that’s awkward. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
MAGNETISM! (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
Magneto, the Silver Age called. It wants its schtick back. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
But… I mean… That doesn’t even… You know what? Never mind. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
In the original draft of this issue, Magneto’s helmet turned blue and was eaten by Pac Man. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
Oh, COME ON. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
I swear at least one of those picket signs is straight-up lifted from Uncanny X-Men #200. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
The Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts begins on October 29! Prepare with this handy flow chart!
NEXT WEEK: Warlock vs. the Impossible Man!

ARE YOU READY FOR THE SECRET CONVERGENCE ON INFINITE PODCASTS?

79 – Bear on a Boat

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 10/25/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 10/25/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In no one trusts Magneto; Dr. Druid is the comfiest superhero; She-Hulk wants to punch a meteor; Rachel and Miles are really bad at both nature and maritime law; boat fights are the best fights; everyone makes terrible choices; and James Jaspers should really have been disbarred by now.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • Darkstar vs. Dark Star
  • X-Men vs. Avengers #1-4
  • Magneto’s narrative milestones
  • Dr. Anthony Druid
  • A most peculiar meteor
  • The Soviet Super Soldiers
  • Vanguard
  • Darkstar
  • The Titanium Man / Gremlin
  • Ursa Major
  • Floridian vs. Australian fauna
  • Crimson Dynamo
  • Dock parties with the X-Men
  • Secrets of Asteroid M
  • Cartoonish pursuit
  • The drinking rules of costume semi-destruction
  • The Laws of the Sea
  • Why you should put your multi-team brawls on a boat
  • An abrupt creative shift
  • The Light
  • Several miracles of magnetism
  • An ethical dilemma
  • The (other) trial of Magneto
  • Magneto heel turns
  • Picking which tie-ins to read
  • The Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts

NEXT EPISODE: Warlock vs. the Impossible Man!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!