miniseries – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 484 – Hell Tuba

April 20, 2025 Miles One comment

Listen to the episode here.

A miniseries based on a miniseries! (X-Men: Magik #1)

What are we looking at? Not sure. Is it rad? Definitely. (X-Men: Magik #1)

To paraphrase: it doesn’t have to be practical if it’s AWESOME. (X-Men: Magik #1)

Not the most efficient way to blow up a bunch of Teslas, but certainly stylish. (X-Men: Magik #1)

Only one of them got the note about the dress code. But which? (X-Men: Magik #1)

The Battle for Hell’s Deep. (X-Men: Magik #1)

So, like, what if the sky broke and then cut off your goddamned head, is my question (X-Men: Magik #2)

Everyone’s outfits are very long. (X-Men: Magik #2)

Did we mention that this series is in a hell dimension? (X-Men: Magik #2)

(Pushes up Norse glasses:) Technically, Surtur’s sword Twilight would only be on fire if he’d entered Asgard upon the day of Ragnarök, and… (X-Men: Magik #2)

And then sometimes the art is suddenly beautiful. (X-Men: Magik #2)

(wailing guitar solo) (X-Men: Magik #2)

I now pronounce you Hell-Lord and Sorceress! (X-Men: Magik #3)

Hey, tell us more about Lord Militant Phemous and his Huscarls! (X-Men: Magik #3)

Meanwhile, in the Hell-actic Senate… (X-Men: Magik #3)

You get out of the sky and finish your evil-chrome-skeleton-god dinner this instant, young man! (X-Men: Magik #3)

All hail the Hell Tuba! (X-Men: Magik #4)

Welp, there you have it. (X-Men: Magik #4)

Hey, it’s Death’s Head II! Hi, Death’s Head II! (X-Men: Magik #4)

I’m pretty sure Judas Priest has a song about this. (X-Men: Magik #4)

We need to start a metal band just so we can use this as an album cover. (X-Men: Magik #4)

The last day of summer camp is always bittersweet. (X-Men: Magik #4)

NEXT TIME: Generation X versus that thing!

484 – Hell Tuba

April 20, 2025 Miles 2 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which the 2000 Magik miniseries is not a good comics series but is an excellent heavy metal concept album; Nightmare has a nightmare; and tubas work differently in Hell.

X-PLAINED:

Belasco: the early years
Magik (2000 series) #1-4
Magik (Amanda Sefton) (Jimaine Szardos) (more) (again)
Some art stuff
The realm of Nightmare
The Splinter Realms
The Soul Sword (Amanda Sefton version)
An Archfiend of the Pit
Nugent
Chekhov’s Hell computer (and its secretions)
Kurt Wagner’s short and bizarre career in the church
Vitchen
Several cool demon battles
The Dread Dormammu
Gleeg
A problem
Muspelheim
Twilight (sword)
Some Mephisto nonsense
Hades, maybe
Epithets
A convocation
Weird Hell guys
Duke Bleys
The Archenemy
The Hell Tuba
The most demonic brass instrument
Some time travel bullshit
Stories where Emma Frost is at her best
Villain reuse

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X gets new threads!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 452 – Hot Nothing

June 9, 2024 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

That can’t be comfortable. (Magneto Rex #1)

One way to put a fire out. (Magneto Rex #1)

Phillip Moreau and Jenny Ransome. (Magneto Rex #1)

This freakin’ loser. (Magneto Rex #1)

The Zealot. (Magneto Rex #1)

Uncool, dude. (Magneto Rex #1)

Ferris endures. (Magneto Rex #2)

“You may have the Legacy Virus, but the L is still for ‘loser.'” (Magneto Rex #2)

This would have been way more dramatic if he’d been naked, right? (Magneto Rex #2)

That’s certainly one way to deal with your problems. (Magneto Rex #3)

That is in fact exactly what he means. (Magneto Rex #3)

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men ’97!

LINKS & OTHER ACADEMIA:

The book Jay mentioned is The Metaphysics of Fiction, by Amie L. Thomasson
Star Trek: Into Darkness was not a very good movie.

452 – Hot Nothing

June 9, 2024 Jay 9 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which Magneto is not full of mirth; nobody real or fictional likes Fabian Cortez; when you’re a speedster, every problem is a metaphorical nail; The Zealot makes some valid points; and when Quicksilver declares himself your conscience, it’s time to examine your life.

X-PLAINED:

How Magneto got his powers back
Morally ambiguous hair
Genosha (more) (again)
Magneto Rex #1-3
Magneto vs. Conan
Trish Tilby
Omniscient narrative condemnation
Magneto’s true archfoe
Magistrates (more) (again)
Mutates (more) (again)
Dr. Alda Huxley
Phillip Moreau (more) (again)
Jenny Ransome (more) (again)
Pipeline (Cormac Grimshaw)
Teleportational nudity
The Zealot
Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
Amelia Voght (more) (again)
Several of Magneto’s on-again-off-again children
The Bastille (but not that one)
Mutant numbering
When to use full frontal nudity in your comic
The X-books we’re not covering
The Amulet of Right vs the Sword of Might

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men ’97!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

436 – The Feel-Good Movie of the Summer

January 7, 2024 Jay 5 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which Colossus has had a rough time of it; the X-Men are at their best in bar fights; Bronze-age Wolverine was a jerk; Ursa Major deserves more page space; kids dig Nightcrawler; and we imagine an X-Men newspaper comic strip.

X-PLAINED:

Notable incidents in Iceman’s romantic history
X-Men: Liberators #1-4
Nostalgia
Friendship
A bar fight
Province 13
General Sergei
Several dead deer
Gregor and Valeri
Nikolas
Zener cards
Several children
Omega Red (more) (again)
Ariana
Ideal formats
Beast vs. Dark Beast
A theoretical X-Men newspaper comic

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force gets possessed!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 415 – Stardust

July 2, 2023 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here.

This is a cruel hoax. Mister Sinister appears nowhere in this miniseries. (Gambit vol. 2 #1)

Meet Olivier Stoker and his somewhat peculiar aesthetic. (Gambit vol. 2 #1)

Those playing-card captions. (Gambit vol. 2 #1)

WHAT THE HELL IS IN THE BOX, THOUGH?!?!!? (Gambit vol. 2 #1)

She must be an angel: surely no mere mortal’s hair would censor their swimsuit areas with such precision. (Gambit vol. 2 #1)

WHY IS THERE A TENTACLE (Gambit vol. 2 #2)

Spooning with Sister Katrina. (Gambit vol. 2 #2)

Meet Sybil! (Gambit vol. 2 #2)

“LITERALEEEEEEEEEEEEE” (Gambit vol. 2 #2)

Stoker and his little friends. (Gambit vol. 2 #2)

Surfin’ Pew S A. (Gambit vol. 2 #3)

Maybe next time try speed dating. (Gambit vol. 2 #3)

She’s fun at parties. (Gambit vol. 2 #3)

Anielle unleashed. (Gambit vol. 2 #4)

Aw, Katrina, no. (Gambit vol. 2 #4)

And they all lived happily ever after? (Gambit vol. 2 #4)

NEXT EPISODE: This fuckin’ thing.

415 – Stardust

June 25, 2023 Jay 6 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which Gambit does Stardust; Wilbur Weston holds no one’s redemption; Gambit is unequivocally bisexual; Lucifer is kinda goofy; and we still don’t know what’s in the box.

X-PLAINED:

Family businesses
Gambit vol. 2 #1-4
What Gambit’s been up to
Some peculiar parallels
Father Miguel Bonavita
Sister Katrina
Father Marcelo
A box
Tante Mattie Baptiste
Olivier Stoker and/or Lucifer
Fancy captions
The Cross of Redemption
Anielle, who may or may not Hanael and may or may not also be a fallen star and/or angel
Gambit’s subconscious
Octopus Gambit
The Grigori
Sibyl
Cerberus
Wormwood
Pew surfing
CyberFork
Spitting locusts, sadly
A bad take on the trolley problem
An ambiguous ending
A pecular transition
Genre displacement
Warlock as a form of art
Elon Musk’s closest X-villain analog

NEXT EPISODE: Dark night of the Bamf!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 377 – Sam Hill

July 10, 2022 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Milo is better at dominoes than Miles. (Domino #1)

Oh ay oh ay indeed! (Domino #1)

“Miss you? Dude, I barely remember who you are!” (Domino #1)

“And my boots are still full of ninja stars!” (Domino #1)

Is that… a Nike beret? Puck makes it work, though. (Domino #1)

Solid Snake she ain’t. (Domino #1)

Ah, the classic narrative conflict of (wo)man versus man(droid). (Domino #1)

Not exactly the red carpet Domino was hoping for. (Domino #1)

Domino gets strangled, part one. (Domino #2)

…did that explosion just say “Kablooey”? (Domino #2)

Man, that flashback must have been a long time ago. Look how much more hair she has! (Domino #2)

Between this place and the Witness’s cell in Bishop’s future… Are prisons just extra sexy in the Marvel Universe? (Domino #2)

“Ah, we do have fun.” (Domino #2)

Jay disapproves of robot tits. (Domino #2)

Domino gets strangled, part two. (Domino #2)

Domino gets strangled, part three. (Domino #3)

Pay no attention to the mysterious silhouette behind the curtain. (Domino #3)

Somehow, Milo Thurman’s studies of history never included learning just how very common faking one’s own death tends to be in X-books. (Domino #3)

I feel like Domino’s powers have a sense of humor. (Domino #3)

Domino may be an member of X-Force, but she learned how to enter rooms from X-Factor. (Domino #3)

I… but… what? (Domino #3)

Oof. (Domino #3)

PUCK WHY WOULD YOU DRESS LIKE THAT (Domino #3)

NEXT TIME: D’Spayre.

377 – Sam Hill

July 3, 2022 Jay 12 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which Domino’s miniseries earns a grade of “present”; Miles gets to know Sam Hill; Domino trades pouches for boots; and we would prefer that you not sexualize Lady Deathstrike.

X-PLAINED:

Halloween Jack
Domino (Neena Thurman)
Domino #1-3
Milo Thurman
The idiomatic Sam Hill
Lady Deathstrike (again)
The Reavers (again)
Pico
Boot pouches
Puck (Eugene Judd)
Dante’s Beatrice
Several Skullbusters
Robot tits
The E.T. Atari game
One way to get out of saying “I love you”
Our unpopular favorites

NEXT EPISODE: Giving in to D’Spayre!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!