Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: metaphors

As Mentioned in Episode 180 – Lawful Badass

3 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
What you see is pretty much what you get. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
Cybernetic fuckboys. Don’t worry, they’re all going to die soon. For now. Mostly. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
That is… certainly some dialogue, there. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
And that’s why she’s the boss. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
“We eat dinner naked. It’s very sexy. And then we do the sexy dishes, sexily.” (Uncanny X-Men #281)
Oh, no! Not Bevatron! (Uncanny X-Men #281)
If you had told me a year ago that there was armor worse than Cameron Hodge’s ruby quartz armor, I would not have believed you. Mea culpa. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
Oh, no, not again. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
OH HELL YES. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
Professor X is kind of a sore winner. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
And then, suddenly, Storm was telekinetic. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
That’s gotta sting. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
“But first, The Very Hungry Caterpillar.” (Uncanny X-Men #282)
Earth-1191 is AMAZING. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
I really want to know if all these criminals dressed up special for the occasion, or if this is just what everyone hangs out looking like in the future. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
ABOUT DAMN TIME. (See what I did, there?) (Uncanny X-Men #282)
“Ha, ha!” (Uncanny X-Men #283)
Aw, this kid. (Uncanny X-Men #283)
“I’m going to the comics shop to cancel my subscription RIGHT NOW!” (Uncanny X-Men #283)
Bishop, I know you come from a difficult timeline, but even you have to appreciate how rad that Walt Simonson Archangel design is. (Uncanny X-Men #283)
Are… Iceman and Colossus levitating? (Uncanny X-Men #283)
This is why we–or at least the Upstarts–can’t have nice things. (Uncanny X-Men #283)
NEXT EPISODE: Guns ‘n’ Pouches!

FURTHER READING, WATCHING, & LISTENING:

180 – Lawful Badass

59 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay is deeply invested in The Gifted; Trevor Fitzroy is generally inexcusable; there are a lot of reasons to be uncomfortable in the Hellfire Club; the mix just got altered in this little clambake; Jean Grey (kind of) dies (again); Earth-1191 gives the Age of Apocalypse some glam competition; Lucas Bishop is a pretty decent metaphor for fan culture; everyone is probably Kang the Conqueror; and now Miles really has no excuse for not watching The Prisoner.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Chronomancer and his Chronobots
  • The Gifted
  • Lucas Bishop’s creative origins
  • Trevor Fitzroy
  • Goatee Theory
  • X-Factor #67
  • Uncanny X-Men #281-283
  • Dapper Lesbian Shinobi Shaw
  • A briefly useful mnemonic
  • Cybernetic fuckboys
  • The return of Warren Kenneth Worthington III’s hair
  • Beef and Bevatron
  • The deaths of the Hellions
  • Warhammer
  • Some of the challenges of X-Plaining the ’90s
  • Bringing a knife to a Sentinel fight
  • Bantam
  • A bunch of bad guys from the future
  • Bishop
  • Randall
  • Malcolm
  • Earth-1191
  • The Gamemaster
  • X-Men we’d like to see come out as trans (revisited)
  • Whether either or both of us are Kang the Conquerer

NEXT EPISODE: Pouches and Guns

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 163 – Shut Up, Conscience

Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Soviet Plot is my favorite porn mag. (Marvel Comics Presents #10)
In case you were wondering whether this was an Ann Nocenti story: yes. (Marvel Comics Presents #10)
This picnic is terrible. (Marvel Comics Presents #11)
“Just step out back to the kidnap van!” (Marvel Comics Presents #12)
These fuckers are the worst people in the story. (Marvel Comics Presents #13)
Okay, but seriously, I want a fort like this. (Marvel Comics Presents #11)
“We’ll talk about kyriarchy later, kiddo.” (Marvel Comics Presents #13)
“Okay, but… why did you resign?” (Marvel Comics Presents #14)
Oof. (Marvel Comics Presents #14)
In their defense, this is pretty terrifying. (Marvel Comics Presents #15)
If only they’d given him mongoose blood, he could’a gotten super speed! (Marvel Comics Presents #15)
THESE ASSHOLES, SERIOUSLY. (Marvel Comics Presents #15)
“How did your grandpa die, Zackery?” “Narrative necessity.” (Marvel Comics Presents #16)
And then nothing was ever okay again. The end! (Marvel Comics Presents #17)
Cyclops: Still the worst at vacations. (Marvel Comics Presents #17)
Fun fact: the last time Cyclops was actively hallucinating, he kicked Master Mold’s ass. FORESHADOWING? (Marvel Comics Presents #17)
Moira, this is not an acceptable way to science. Who do you think you are, Charles Xavier? (Marvel Comics Presents #18)
Okay, but did you consider that she might be like one of those cool lizards who can run on water? (Marvel Comics Presents #18)
Cyclops may be a jerk to adults, but he’s canonically pretty decent with little kids. (Marvel Comics Presents #18)
…well, fuck. (Marvel Comics Presents #18)
…well, FUCK. (Marvel Comics Presents #19)
Seriously, Dr. Mustache Guy, what the hell is wrong with you? (Marvel Comics Presents #19)
“I need helper robots. I KNOW, I’LL BUILD LITTLE NAKED ALIENS. THAT’LL BE COOL.” (Marvel Comics Presents #19)
More servitors, because if I have to see this nonsense, you do, too. (Marvel Comics Presents #20)
Shut up, Conscience. (Marvel Comics Presents #20)
“Look, they forgot I even EXISTED for three issues!” (Marvel Comics Presents #20)
“But, like, not the person. The concept. But not really in this story. Anyway, you get the idea, right? Right?” (Marvel Comics Presents #20)
This plan is terrible. (Marvel Comics Presents #21)
Aw. That’s… sort of nice? In an about-to-explode kind of way. (Marvel Comics Presents #24)
NEXT EPISODE: The Mutant Revolution, Live at Rose City Comic Con!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING

163 – Shut Up, Conscience

23 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Rose City Comic Con was in fact pretty awesome; we return to Marvel Presents; Colossus has a bad day; Ann Nocenti engages in some bipartisan satire; Cyclops has a bad day; Moira MacTaggert gets possessed again; Master Mold is really hard to kill; you should absolutely not send Jay naked leprechaun pictures; sentinels are basically rationalization engines; and that is really not how consciences work.

NOTE: In this episode, we said that the U.S.S.R. dissolved in 1989. That actually happened in 1991.

ADDITIONAL NOTE: THE NYCC PANEL HAS BEEN MOVED. IT IS ON THURSDAY, NOT FRIDAY.

X-PLAINED:

  • Sentinel Aesthetics
  • Prime Sentinels
  • “Colossus: God’s Country”
  • Butt physics
  • The Cold War
  • Colossus’s feelings about porn
  • The Billy Ireland Cartoon Library
  • Some varyingly dubious politics
  • The Cold Warriors
  • Alexander, who is probably not actually either Colonel Sanders or Howard Hughes
  • Bipartisan satire
  • Jay’s grandfather
  • An uncomfortable picnic
  • Limbs
  • Number Six (but not that one)
  • Terrible neighbors
  • “Cyclops: The Retribution Affair”
  • Bobbie and Mary Campbell
  • Master Mold (again)
  • Stephen Lang (again)
  • Servitors
  • A well-honed lobster alert system
  • The Retribution Virus
  • Conscience
  • A terrible party
  • Kitty Pryde’s Gal Pal Squad
  • Community Organizer Magneto

NEXT EPISODE: Live from Rose City Comic Con!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 22 – Through Death and Through Life

8 comments

Listen to the episode here!

At some point, someone pointed out that this is technically Anniversary X, and it was a pretty slippery slope from there.
We are aware that our favorite romance has its share of detractors. We don’t care. (Art by David Wynne.)
Actual photograph of Rachel and Miles at their 8th-grade graduation dance. (X-Men #32)
This is literally as explicit a conversation they have about it for… pretty much the entire Silver Age. (X-Men #32)
Proposal #1. Unfortunately, Jean is a) actually the Phoenix Force, and b) about to die on the moon. (Uncanny X-Men #136)
Not directly pertinent, but it’s one of our favorite moments. (Uncanny X-Men #137)
Scott saying goodbye to Jean immediately before marrying Madelyne Pryor. That really, really didn’t work out, but we like the sentiment–that “true love” doesn’t always have to mean “one true love.” (Uncanny X-Men #175)
Scott doesn’t actually work out that Madelyne and Jean are identical until X-Factor #14. Headcanon: Hella prosopagnosia.
Scott and Jean are reunited in a panel that appears to have fled from Apartment 3-G to X-Factor #1.
Jean gets Madelyne and Phoenix’s memories–and her own telepathy–back. (X-Factor #38)
Proposal #2. (X-Factor #53)
Jean’s response. (X-Factor #53)
“Fatal Attractions” was a rough time for everyone, but probably worst for Wolverine. (X-Men vol. 2 #75)
Proposal #3, guest-starring John Romita, Jr.’s profoundly alarming faces. (Uncanny X-Men #308)
Fate can go fuck itself. Damn, we love these two. (Uncanny X-Men #308)
There is probably no other panel from the entire 50 years of X-Men that we’ve sent back and forth more than this one. (Uncanny X-Men #308)
He’s actually fighting some dude who broke into the X-mansion and bonding with his time-displaced kid, but the basic principle of failing-at-bachelor-party still stands. (Uncanny X-Men #310)
And now, the main event. (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
Andy Kubert x body language. (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
Charles Xavier of X-Men vol. 2 #30 is the best Charles Xavier.
He also has the best timing. (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
Look at all those X-Men. (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
Can we have a moment of silent appreciation for the fact that Storm managed to find a dress that perfectly encapsulates the 1990s? (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
Best vows? Best vows. (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
Scott, Jean, we’re gonna let you finish… (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
…but Rogue and Gambit’s kiss in X-Men vol. 2 #41 is the best kiss in X-Men.
September 4, 2014.

Links:

NEXT WEEK: Rachel and Miles are going on vacation. Read a book. WEEK AFTER NEXT: The New Mutants!

22 – Through Death and Through Life

24 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

scottandjeanv3_cropped
Art by David Wynne

In which Rachel and Miles celebrate an anniversary with a retrospective of one of the great romances of the Marvel universe; the Summers/Grey family tree is more of a transdimensional strawberry patch; the X-Men play some football; Professor Xavier is not a jerk; and Scott Summers and Jean Grey are the power couple of existentialism.

X-Plained

  • Summers kids
  • Scott and Jean
  • Feelings
  • X-Men #32
  • The worst date ever
  • Madelyne Pryor
  • Plot-relevant prosopagnosia
  • Three proposals
  • X-Factor #53
  • Uncanny X-Men #308
  • “Fatal Attractions”
  • That one panel that gets us every time
  • X-Men vol. 2 #30
  • Some really excellent wedding vows
  • The best kiss in X-Men
  • Cats Laughing
  • Why “One” is actually a pretty decent first dance
  • Existential ramifications of fictional romance

Next week: Rachel and Miles take a much-needed vacation.

Week after next: The New Mutants!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!