Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Max Eisenhardt

As Mentioned in Episode 422 – Cairn Touch This

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If your sick room isn’t a fire hazard, you’re doing it wrong. (X-Men #74)
Well, that’s not good. (X-Men #74)
He’s got a million of ’em. (X-Men #74)
Seriously, Hank, what the hell? (X-Men #75)
I LOVE THESE GUYS THEY ARE SO WEIRD (X-Men #75)
Wolverine has been up to some… stuff. (X-Men #75)
We’re not in Westchester anymore. (X-Men #75)
Hi, Pilgrimm! (X-Men #75)
Hi, Magneto! (X-Men #76)
Hi, Eany and Meany! (X-Men #76)
It is rough to be Maggott. (X-Men #76)
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur isn’t over (quite) yet!

422 – Cairn Touch This

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In which the X-Men’s membership is a complicated subject; not all angels know each other; we need to talk about Beast’s Wasp costume; Cecilia Reyes speaks for all reasonable folk; Storm gets a mysterious package; and reading comics day-and-date may not be for everyone.

X-PLAINED:

  • The variable loyalties of the N’garai
  • X-Men #74-76
  • A somewhat atypical team lineup
  • A whole lotta backstory
  • How to join the X-Men
  • Warren Kenneth Worthington III as a religious figure
  • Flechette clean-up
  • Teenage drama
  • Detective Jim Logan
  • A lot of murder
  • The N’garai
  • Beast’s Wasp costume
  • Explanatory captions for real life
  • The Ru’tai
  • Pilgrimm
  • Mai’Keth the Undying One
  • The Eye of Kierokk
  • Maggott’s secret origins
  • X-Men cartoons for a 7-year-old
  • Reckoning with loss in comics

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur rushes toward its conclusion

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As Mentioned in Episode 412 – Yappin’ and Scrappin’

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And then Cyclops left for Alaska again. (X-Men #71)
Dark Phoenix athleisure! (X-Men #71)
As Piglet and Tigger slowly back away… (X-Men #71)
The past didn’t go anywhere. (X-Men #71)
Between Kelly and Pacheco, that is a hell of a compelling conversation. (X-Men #71)
So, how was the trip to Counter-Earth? What was your favorite part? Didja bring us anything? (X-Men #71)
Battle of the gross bone-spikes (X-Men #72)
Marrow’s online handle is xXBloodReaper69Xx (X-Men #72)
Not a good look, Ororo. (X-Men #72)
Fun fact: every case study in Miles’s college neuropsychology text book was about a brain injury from a motorcycle accident! (Uncanny X-Men #351)
“It’s a hypnotic pterodactyl wearing jorts in a metal box, obviously!!! (Uncanny X-Men #351)
To be fair, they don’t look very nice. (Uncanny X-Men #351)
And yet, Pyro’s insurance company still would have encouraged him to go to Urgent Care instead. (Uncanny X-Men #351)
Where’s Waldo? (Uncanny X-Men #351)
Cecilia has no time for Daredevil’s bullshit… and Daredevil has a lot of bullshit. (Uncanny X-Men #351)
Jay and Miles after recording an episode. (Uncanny X-Men #351)
Oh no (Uncanny X-Men #352)
“Honey, I think the new neighbors may be… weird.” (Uncanny X-Men #352)
“…ya dick.” (Uncanny X-Men #352)
ZIELL ZIELL (Uncanny X-Men #352)
Does “evil custodians” belong in r/rareinsults or r/brandnewsentence? (Uncanny X-Men #352)
Then panel below this shows Miles’s face melting into that time he accidentally deleted his Final Fantasy VI save right after unlocking the Paladin Shield. (Uncanny X-Men #352)
See you in the desert, Sam! (Uncanny X-Men #352)
Jean Grey, action hero! (Uncanny X-Men #352)
It… it’ll be fine. Yeah, fine. Probably. (Uncanny X-Men #352)
NEXT TIME: X-Force goes to Burning Man!

Links & Further Reading

412 – Yappin’ and Scrappin’

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In which Kelly and Seagle’s X-runs begin with immense promise; dark psychic residue gets just everywhere; Storm’s past is literally buried; Wolverine is just saying is all; Cecilia Reyes’s job doesn’t deserve her, and Cyclops and Phoenix are the worst at being normal.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Grey family reunion
  • X-Men #71-72
  • What counts as an Uncanny X-Men #138 cover reference
  • Baggage and also suitcases
  • Steve Seagle’s (scuttled) Phoenix plans
  • Bone whiskers
  • Telemarketer power moves
  • Cecilia Reyes
  • Marrow (Sarah)
  • Sam Guthrie’s tiny ponytail
  • The ol’ wall-of-televisions trope
  • The cost of one banana
  • Sebastian Shaw vs the IRS (maybe)
  • A mostly empty attic
  • Wolverine’s etiquette lessons
  • The dessert claw vs the salad claw
  • The physicality of Carlos Pacheco’s art
  • Cannonball, the grown-up in the room
  • Magneto’s increasingly complicated past
  • Magnus, Erik, and Max (again)
  • Uncanny X-Men #351-352
  • Cecilia Reyes’s return-to-office
  • Intersectionality
  • Pyro, forever dying of the Legacy Virus
  • Daredevil vs Cecilia Reyes’s bedside manner
  • Kevin, Lord of the Jungle
  • Ending conversations by turning into a bird
  • A.I.M.* (*Advanced Idea Mechanics)
  • Crows of Ill Portent
  • A Box of Entity
  • Condors and Cockatoos
  • Logan’s denim proclivities
  • Arcade vs. Mojo

Special thanks to Dylan Higgins for edits and production assistance!

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force goes to Burning Man!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 411 – Tearaway Pants

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When you meet a straight couple, you should ask them which is the Nic Cage and which is the John Travolta. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Fuckssake, Warren. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Severe costume injuries. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Logan’s skiing / beat poetry outfit. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
After thirty years, Warren finally gets a gun, I guess. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
SERIOUSLY, HOW DO THEY RECOGNIZE IT?! (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Much like Gambit, I hallucinate a team of X-Men insulting me at all times. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
Hydro-Man. He sure is. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
Jean Grey advocates for change. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
Aw. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
See, they body-swapped because of carpet static and… y’know what? Just watch Gravity Falls. You won’t regret it.
NEXT EPISODE: Back to the core!

411 – Tearaway Pants

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In which we actually kind of like a Sabretooth story; we’re not asking for viscera, here; all pants on Earth-616 are tearaway pants; we’d like to see more Wolverine stories about bodily autonomy; Gambit’s hallucinations have hallucinations; and there are probably too many X-books.

X-PLAINED:

  • Punch-clock villains
  • Hydro-Man’s secret weakness
  • 411
  • ‘90s fashion
  • X-Men Unlimited #17-18
  • X-Men Unlimited vs. annuals
  • A difficult casting decision
  • Forge’s neutralizer gun
  • Costume injuries
  • Color symbolism? Kinda? I guess?
  • Mrs. Hoo
  • Saberine & Wolvertooth
  • Warren Kenneth Worthington III vs. shirts
  • How to dress for Earth-616
  • Hot buttered whatever
  • Boob foliage
  • Clones
  • Very tenacious blood stains
  • The return of the Angry Claremontean Narrator
  • Lots of hallucinations
  • Oscar the Fixer
  • Hydro-Man
  • Redemption, symbolic and otherwise
  • The evolution of Magneto’s name
  • Our ideal X-line

NEXT EPISODE: Back to the core!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 406 – The Most Dangerous Mini-Game

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So, that’s where he got it! (Wolverine #-1)
I love this design for Sabretooth. (Wolverine #-1)
And also his car. (Wolverine #-1)
Literally nothing is okay at the Blanding/Masters house. (X-Factor #-1)
Mister Sinister lurks in the bushes. (X-Factor #-1)
They’re AT LEAST in their early 20s. (X-Factor #-1)
DAMN, Haley! (X-Factor #-1)
The most dangerous mini-game. (X-Factor #-1)
Alex Summers in a nutshell. (X-Factor #-1)
Wellp, you did that. (X-Force #-1)
I swear I thought this thing was gonna be a red herring. (X-Force #-1)
Everything cute about this issue is also really sad. (X-Force #-1)
How Thunderbird got his code name. (X-Force #-1)
Don’t worry, Tabby; soon you’ll be stealing with the best of ’em! (X-Force #-1)
The Circus of Cameos. (X-Force #-1)
In which John Produstar straight-up wrassles a tiger. (X-Force #-1)
“We also do a lot of crimes, but they’re pretty low-key as comic-book circus crimes go.” (X-Force #-1)
Ugh, this guy. (X-Force #-1)
Naked in Space: The Charles Francis Xavier Story. (X-Men #-1)
Magneto, a sensible fellow, wears clothes in the vacuum of space. (X-Men #-1)
IT NEVER STOPS BEING FUNNY (X-Men #-1)
DRAMATIC! JUXTAPOSITION! (X-Men #-1)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor hits rock-bottom, again.

LINKS & FURTHER READING

406 – The Most Dangerous Mini-Game

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In which we disagree about the value of Stan Lee intros; everybody wants Wolverine; Mister Sinister lurks; Haley Blanding deserves better; Thunderbird fights a tiger; and Xavier and Magneto do their usual thing.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Circus of Crime
  • Stan Lee intros
  • Wolverine #-1
  • X-Factor #-1
  • X-Force #-1
  • X-Men #-1
  • Proust vs. Sartre
  • How Logan joined Alpha Flight
  • The secret origin of the word “canucklehead.”
  • USDA, Annex B
  • Myron MacLain
  • Logan’s cigars
  • Yet more continuity errors
  • Sabretooth’s ridiculous car
  • The balance of scary and silly
  • Wolverine’s cowboy hat
  • Summers family bullshit
  • The Blandings and/or Masterses
  • Vince
  • The Proudstar family
  • One or more cats named Coyote
  • The origin of Thunderbird’s totem
  • Edwin Martynec (again)
  • Chondu the Magician
  • Ringmaster
  • Yet more Xavier and Magneto flashback drama
  • The bottom of the resurrection queue
  • Good car-trip episodes

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor continues to make poor decisions

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 372 – Monty Python’s Life of Magnus

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Steven Tyler vs Mick Jagger? (Magneto #1)
Home security has come a long way since 1996. (Magneto #1)
Sometimes the art crosses the line from iffy to weirdly awesome. (Magneto #1)
The sparkles are a nice touch, Fabian. (Magneto #1)
He’s the messiah! (Magneto #1)
Where… where’d your hair go, man? (Magneto #1)
“Behold my logo font!” (Magneto #2)
Fabian, what did that bird ever do to you?! (Magneto #2)
Meanwhile, in the space-opera version of this story… (Magneto #2)
Kelley Jones really nails the moments of Joseph’s Magneto-facade slipping. (Magneto #2)
PLOP (Magneto #2)
I mean, those birds have ample reason to have misgivings themselves. Fabian Cortez could be anywhere! (Magneto #2)
This was pre-Lyft, see. (Magneto #2)
…magnetism..? (Magneto #3)
So say we all. (Magneto #3)
If Fabian Cortez had a mustache, he’d be twirling it right now. (Magneto #3)
AAAAAAAHHHHHHH (Magneto #3)
Only the real Magneto could maniacally cackle at an angle that dramatic! (Magneto #4)
Because it’s about time someone did. (Magneto #4)
Broadcast Standards & Practices salutes you, Joseph. (Magneto #4)
“…for twenty-three days or so…” (Magneto #4)
NEXT TIME: Mystique vs. politicians-being-alive, round 2. Sorta.

372 – Monty Python’s Life of Magnus

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the first Magneto miniseries is actually a Joseph miniseries; Magneto lost a lot of nuance in the ‘90s; Fabian Cortez is friend to neither man nor bird; Joseph finds his inner supervillain; Marvel’s United Nations is unusually heavily armed; and bears are much cooler than guns.

X-PLAINED:

  • Magneto (again)
  • The Acolytes (again)
  • Joseph (again)
  • Magneto #1-4
  • Amelia Voght (again)
  • Religious statuary
  • Razors
  • New Avalon
  • Magneto’s voice
  • How not to make a point
  • Armstrong
  • A Trask who may or may not be Simon
  • Weird torture
  • Peonies
  • A big, silly fight
  • Happy X-Men comics featuring Wolverine
  • The many nexuses of reality

NEXT EPISODE: Assassination!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!