Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Massachusetts Academy

As Mentioned in Episode 481 – Chekhov’s Butt-Gun

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In which Adrienne Frost flirts with a corpse. (Generation X #67)
Oh man, Monet’s left sock is going to be all wet and gross for the rest of the morning… (Generation X #67)
I used to love it when the cafeteria served GReeBo C back in high school. (Generation X #67)
I think those bullies were held back a few years… like maybe 30 or so. (Generation X #67)
Just some really fun faces on this page. (Generation X #67)
NO PRETTY BOYS. (Generation X #67)
It’s like a romance comic cover exploded! (Generation X #68)
Hey, that shirt’s just painted on! (Generation X #68)
Teens are the worst, Jubilee. (Generation X #68)
“And I assure you, that’s far from the most dangerous thing in this skirt.” (Generation X #68)
Everyone reacts to bad news in their own way. Penance’s way is to stick a Mjolnir sticker to her face. (Generation X #68)
Well shit. (Generation X #68)
The snowy calm before the fiery storm. (Generation X #69)
“The Leprechauns of Cassidy Keep never gave me this much grief.” (Generation X #69)
What fighting game is this supposed to be?! And don’t say Ninja Boogie! (Generation X #69)
Effortless. (Generation X #69)
What is this, Black Friday? (Generation X #70)
Kid’s got a point, Sean. (Generation X #70)
You really feel the crush of humanity in this issue. (Generation X #70)
Everett Thomas: hero ’til the end. (Generation X #70)
Bye, Adrienne. See ya never. (Generation X #70)
Left-to-right, the answers will be: make bad decisions as part of X-Factor, become a vampire mom, have sex with Angel in the sky above Ma Guthrie, get crucified on the X-Mansion’s lawn, and find out you’re a descendent of Apocalypse. (Generation X #70)
NEXT TIME: X-Force goes Counter-X!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

481 – Chekhov’s Butt-Gun

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In which Adrienne Frost is absolutely terrible (and so was Ronald Reagan); you should not put guns in your butt; Synch deserved better; and Jay and Miles inventory their favorite dangling plot threads of the ‘90s.

X-PLAINED:

  • Several potential origins of Havok’s stupid hat
  • Generation X #67-70
  • Revolution (more) (again)
  • Shockwave (more) (again)
  • Adrienne Frost (more) (again)
  • The New Xavier School and/or Massachusetts Academy (more) (again)
  • Possible necrophilia
  • Dorm life
  • How not to draw clothing
  • Rules of entry to Jubilee’s dorm room
  • The Rich Person Store
  • How to say the word “consigliere”
  • The ‘90s
  • Blackmail
  • Limits of telepathy
  • Arson
  • Ninja Boogie
  • Panic
  • How to keep Synch safe
  • Adultification
  • Failure to keep Synch safe
  • Where to pick up to follow along with us
  • Plot threads we’d like to see picked back up

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force goes Counter-X!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 448 – Skamageddon

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The two Emma Frosts: Shadowy and Pouty. (X-Force #87)
James Proudstar x-plains Uncanny X-Men #281. (X-Force #87)
Reconnecting via X-Factoring. (X-Force #87)
Now that is a lair. (X-Force #87)
Magma’s back! And she’s a jerk! (X-Force #87)
Meet Paradigm. (X-Force #87)
The New New Mutants vs. the New Hellions. New. (X-Force #88)
We can accept covering Empath’s face with word balloons – but hey, show some respect to Firestar! (X-Force #88)
Feral’s back – just in time to wreck Jay’s voice again! (And Siryn’s, but we’ll get to that later.) (X-Force #88)
Life got complicated since the last time these two saw each other. (X-Force #88)
X-Force’s x-treme tactics have just saved us like half an issue of misunderstandings! (X-Force #88)
The techno-organic virus: bad for free will and not great for skin health. (X-Force #88)
Paradigm x-plains X-Force. (X-Force #89)
This party sucks! (X-Force #89)
Blood relation has no inherent virtue. (X-Force #89)
Aww, there’s plenty of logic! Just look at the little manual that comes with most Tarot decks! (X-Force #89)
Among Dani’s new powers is the ability to turn robot-guys into eggs. (X-Force #89)
Kind of a weird font choice. Times New Armageddon? (X-Force #89)
Feral never misses an opportunity to learn the worst possible lesson. (X-Force #90)
Tarot, is that really a new manifestation of your mutant power, or did you just rob a Spirit Halloween? (X-Force #90)
Welp, I guess the entire West coast is completely demolished and will take decades to rebuild. Funny how no other comics have mentioned that… (X-Force #90)
Sorry, Jesse. Your brother is the absolute worst. (X-Force #90)
Sam Guthrie: annoying people into virtue since 1980-something. (X-Force #90)
BADDA BOOM (X-Force #90)
Aww. (X-Force #90)
NEXT TIME: Talking X-costumes with Russell Dauterman!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

448 – Skamageddon

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Feral’s back – just in time to wreck Jay’s voice again! (And Siryn’s, but we’ll get to that later.) (X-Force #88)

In which timeline math is almost never worth it; Tarot comes back from the dead (kind of) (maybe); Magma makes a heel turn; “King Bedlam” would be a great name for a ska band; not every nude man can turn into a bear; and you don’t have to talk to your supervillain relatives.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Triune Understanding
  • Birthday party follow-up
  • X-Force #87-90
  • Legacy and continuity
  • Bedlam (Jesse Aaronson)
  • Tarot (Marie-Ange Colbert)
  • Goat Simulator
  • King Bedlam (Christopher Aaronson)
  • The New Hellions
  • Perils of body-swapping
  • Linear time
  • Science
  • Armageddon Man
  • Paradigm
  • Senator Owen Danville
  • Family
  • A fancy hat
  • Madame Web
  • Many natural disasters
  • Early Genoshan history
  • Longshot as a villain

NEXT EPISODE: Dressing the X-Men with Russell Dauterman!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 225 – Class Reunion (feat. Austin Gorton)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I miss when comics had dialogue on their covers! And when Emma Frost was ten feet tall. (New Warriors #10)
“Your uzi is no match for my very tall right boot!” (New Warriors #10)
If Emma’s telepathy weren’t invisible, this is exactly how viscerally violent it would look. (New Warriors #10)
Oh, Speedball – never change. Like, especially into a mopey edgelord with spikes inside his costume. (New Warriors #10)
Angelica Jones, you warm my heart. And also everything else. (New Warriors #10)
The tarot of the who now? (New Warriors #10)
You tell her, Firestar! (New Warriors #10)
Darick Robertson, you sure can draw… everything. (New Warriors #31)
Background-Cyclops is annoyed at the damned teenagers always hogging the phone line with their endless calls and their AOLs. (New Warriors #31)
Cannonball’s facial expression speaks for us all. (New Warriors #31)
Remember – neither of these women actually has flame powers! (New Warriors #31)
I bet there’s a long German word for the terror that comes from knowing you’re about to crash into your friend’s crotch at seventy miles per hour (and a second word for the terror that comes from being on the receiving end). (New Warriors #31)
Shine on, you justifiedly resentful diamond. (New Warriors #31)
That’s it. That’s the whole explanation. (New Warriors #31)
Emma Frost believes strongly in clear labels. (New Warriors #31)
I liked the yellow better, but this ain’t bad. (New Warriors #31)
Next time: X-Factor finally makes it to Genosha!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

225 – Class Reunion (feat. Austin Gorton)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we check in on Firestar and the New Warriors; superheroes often celebrate Bring Your Mom To The Amazon Day; Fabian Nicieza employs only the finest of lampshades; and Emma Frost still doesn’t apologize for blowing up that pony.

X-PLAINED:

  • Vance Astro(vik)
  • Penance (but not that one)
  • Austin Gorton’s X-Aminations
  • New Warriors #10
  • Firestar (Angelica Jones)
  • The New Warriors
  • Visual representations of invisible mutant powers
  • The Hellions (more) (again)
  • Tarot and her Morrisonian powers
  • Bevatrons
  • Oxy-cution
  • The inevitably increasing complexity of superhero origins
  • The Miracle of Microwaves
  • New Warriors #31
  • Nova Roma
  • Magma (Amara Aquilla) (or Allison Crestmere, I guess)
  • A brief and futile attempt at Roman soldier disambiguation
  • Empath and his large collection of red flags
  • Gender-based intuition
  • A massive, stupid, and quickly undone retcon
  • Super-nature versus super-nurture
  • The hypothetical psychological roots of Emma Frost’s fashion phases

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor finally makes it to Genosha!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 56 – Death by Crossover

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/17/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Bobby makes some valid points. (New Mutants #36)
Remember being fourteen? (And also a mutant superhero?) (New Mutants #36)
Damnit, Beyonder. (New Mutants #36)
Hey, look! It’s a literal derailment in the middle of a metaphorical derailment! (New Mutants #36)
Don’t you hate it when your best friend’s soul gets split by a cosmic force and suddenly you’re stuck with her eldritch armor, weapon, and amulet, when all you really wanted was a library book? Yeah, us, too. (New Mutants #36)
Not even being brainwashed and absorbed into a cosmic hive-mind can come between Cannonball and his classic science fiction allusions. (New Mutants #36)
Aw, Illyana. (New Mutants #36)
This cover = Rachel’s definitive Beyonder. (New Mutants #37)
The New Mutants have the best incidental moments by a wide margin. (New Mutants #37)
Seriously: WHO THE HELL IS THAT ABOVE RAHNE? (New Mutants #37)
Relevant metaphor is relevant. (New Mutants #37)
THE BEYONDER IS A DICK. (New Mutants #37)
THAT IS NO EXCUSE. (New Mutants #37)
The Beyonder comes off as a petulant child in a lot of Secret Wars, but in New Mutants, he’s legitimately terrifying. (New Mutants #37)
Headcanon: In Marvel Asgard, there is at least one legit full-length saga about this storyline, focused on Dani. (New Mutants #37)
This cover. This scene. This series. (New Mutants #38)
Of all the scenes in all the issues of New Mutants, NONE has ever stuck with Rachel as hard as this one. (New Mutants #38)
Aw, kids. (New Mutants #38)
YES (New Mutants #38)
Is there a better pep talk than a pep talk from FROG THOR? We think not. (New Mutants #38)
Warlock, you delightful scamp! (New Mutants #38)
Empath is the worst ever forever. (New Mutants #38)
That “Next Issue” blurb, tho. (New Mutants #38)
Another memorable cover. (New Mutants #39)
Aw, man. (New Mutants #39)
Sadneto. (New Mutants #39)
Keith Pollard’s Emma is so good. (New Mutants #39)
It just DOES NOT STOP SUCKING to be Tom and Sharon. (New Mutants #39)
Madneto! (New Mutants #39)
Emma Frost, you sneaky person! (New Mutants #39)
WARLOCK IS THE BLACKBIRD. YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID. (New Mutants #40)
Magneto is trying so hard to be the man he promised Xavier he’d be. Poor guy. (New Mutants #40)
Really, Cap? Really? You gonna go there? (New Mutants #40)
Teacher Magneto might be the best Magneto. Definitely one of the most critically unremembered and underused. (New Mutants #40)
Aw, New Mutants. (New Mutants #40)
The perfect Emma Frost moment. (New Mutants #40)
Next Week: Angel in tiny briefs (more) (again), too much Tower, and the dubious debut of Apocalypse!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

  • Yaybo! Marvel Unlimited added New Mutants #36-40 just in time for this episode (starting here)!
  • In terms of formative influence, Kyle Baker’s Why I Hate Saturn was basically Rachel’s third parent.

56 – Death by Crossover

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/17/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/17/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which nothing comes between Sam Guthrie and his classic sci-fi allusions; Sunspot tries; the Beyonder is really scary; you can have Danielle Moonstar’s agency when you pry it from her cold, dead hands; Empath remains the worst kid; Tom Corsi and Sharon Friedlander just cannot catch a break; Emma Frost gets nuanced; Magneto does the wrong things for the right reasons; Rachel and Miles like liking things; and we finally wrap up Secret Wars II.

X-PLAINED:

  • Soulsword custody
  • New Mutants #36-40
  • The best Secret Wars II tie-in
  • Several Beyonder-triggered crises of confidence
  • A literal derailment in the midst of a metaphorical derailment
  • The Greek tragedy of Illyana Rasputin
  • Personal personifications of death
  • Counting coup
  • The death of the New Mutants
  • Crossover-related PTSD
  • A pep talk from a frog
  • Art style as a component of narrative
  • The Hellions (again)
  • Sadneto
  • Madneto
  • A completely avoidable fight
  • Rachel’s definitive Emma Frost moment
  • Emma Frost, Charles Xavier, and moral culpability

NEXT WEEK: The dubious debut of Apocalypse!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 42 – A Firestar Is Born

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 2/1/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends (but not in that order).
Context is irrelevant. (Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends)
“John, dude, can we talk about the fact that you just turned into a fucking bear? No? Okay.” Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends
“It means you’ll be hated and feared! Isn’t that wonderful?” (Firestar #1)
“Professor, is it true what they say about exposition in X-books?” (Firestar #1)
Wait ’til they find out she hasn’t even read Carlyle! (Firestar #1)
Oh. Angelica. Honey. No. (Firestar #1)
I’m pretty sure there’s a Talking Heads music video that starts exactly like this. (Firestar #1)
DON’T TRUST HER, ANGELICA! SHE’LL BLOW UP YOUR HORSE! (Firestar #1)
This horse’s name is Butter Rum. Don’t get too attached. (Firestar #2)
The Emma Frost who actually cares about her students did not make her first appearance until some years later. This Emma Frost is just an unapologetic monster. (Firestar #2)
Emma Frost is the best evil narrator. (Firestar #2)
“What could POSSIBLY go wrong?” (Firestar #2)
Miles ‘ships it SO hard. (Firestar #2)
That horror-movie WHINNEY! in the last panel, though. (Firestar #2)
Remember that time Emma Frost convinced a vulnerable teenage girl that she had killed her beloved horse by becoming sexually aroused? BECAUSE THAT DEFINITELY HAPPENED. (Firestar #2)
“What? This? Oh, no, I build killer robots of ALL my friends.” (Firestar #3)
AHAHAHA OH RANDALL YOU’RE SO DOOMED (Firestar #3)
Firestar X-Plains X-Men #193. (Firestar #3)
Seriously, I’m pretty sure Angelica’s dad being kind of a dick to her is the only thing that saves him from CERTAIN DOOM. (Firestar #3)
(He feels bad about it, though, so he still gets beaten up in the airport.) (Firestar #3)
Why does she throw her drink? We may never know. (Firestar #3)
And then she just straight-up breaks into “Stars” from Les Mis. (Firestar #4)
So sinister! (Firestar #4)
And that’s the end of Randall. (Firestar #4)
Fight scene, or breakin’ it down on the dance floor? YOU BE THE JUDGE! (Firestar #4)
For full effect, you have to imagine Firestar’s dialogue read by Alison Brie as Annie Edison. (Firestar #4)
Next Week: Secret Wars Why we drink.

42 – A Firestar Is Born

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 2/1/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 2/1/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Miles has a brush with nostalgia; Angelica Jones is secretly a Thomas Hardy protagonist; it doesn’t need to make sense if it’s awesome; and Emma Frost really needs a mustache to twirl.

X-Plained:

  • Trevor Fitzroy
  • Firestar (Angelica Jones)
  • Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends
  • Nostalgia
  • X-Men, if sometimes the main characters were bears
  • Inexplicably Australian Wolverine
  • Ms. Lion
  • Marvel Divas
  • Sudsy fun
  • Superhero sitcoms
  • Firestar #1-4
  • Basic palmistry
  • Generic mean girls
  • Coen Brothers YA
  • The reinvention of Emma Frost
  • Some epic gaslighting
  • Butter Rum
  • Mutivac
  • Miles’s favorite star-crossed ‘ship
  • Why Thunderbird I has stayed dead
  • Contextual definitions of “organic”

NEXT WEEK: Secret Wars

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!