Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: marvel girl

As Mentioned in Episode 16 – The Official Unofficial Not-at-SDCC (Rachel and Miles X-Plain the) X-Men Panel

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When we say that Quentin Quire has the same fashion sense as Rachel, this is not what we’re talking about. (Wolverine and the X-Men #3)
Seriously. She’s never going to take it off again.
YAYBO! Thanks to your support, we’ve unlocked a bunch of very cool milestone goals on Patreon, from weekly video reviews of current X-books, to original illustrations, written posts, giant-size semiannuals, and more!
Why we can’t have nice things. (House of M #7)
As promised, from Uncanny X-Men #497.
Cyclops seems to like the premise of Schism about as much as we do.
We were going to photoshop word balloons in so Cap was yelling “What are we fighting about, again?” and Cyclops was yelling, “I have no idea!” but we ran out of time, so I guess just take that as read.
Yeah, that’ll end well, Iron Man. (Avengers vs. X-Men #5)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Avengers vs. X-Men #11)
This moment has shown up in flashbacks in something like four books so far this month, so it’s probably gonna be PRETTY RELEVANT in the near future. (Avengers vs. X-Men #11)
Pretty much everything you need to know about Battle of the Atom. (Wolverine and the X-Men #37)
This was the only yearbook photo we could find with both of us in it. TRIVIA: Can you spot the other current comics-industry pro in this photo?
Aw, bros. (Wolverine and the X-Men #40)
Oh, that’ll be awkward. (Uncanny X-Men #23)
There are… kind of a lot of X-Men books currently coming out.
A reasonably comprehensive list of current X-titles.
We are 100% with Cyclops on this. (Wolverine and the X-Men #40)
Heh. (Schism #1)
Next week: Rogue! And space adventures! And Carol Danvers!
Also next week: Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men on Comics Alliance! It’ll go up here, as well as iTunes and Stitcher, at the usual time, but you’ll also be able to catch new episodes every Thursday at ComicsAlliance.com!
Bonus not-at-SDCC cosplay pics: Miles as Starman…
…and Rachel as space-pirate-in-a-polo-shirt teenage Cyclops.

Links:

16 – The Official Unofficial Not-at-SDCC (Rachel and Miles X-Plain the) X-Men Panel

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In which we correct a startling omission, explore the current state of the X-Universe, and speculate wildly; Quentin Quire has excellent fashion sense; Rachel gets a new accessory; Miles goes off-brand; the X-Men are somewhat complicated; Iron Man has poor decision-making skills; Charles Xavier dies for real; Beast might be a supervillain; we briefly forget Marc Guggenheim’s first name; and the future remains a relative mystery.

For purposes of continuity, it’s probably worth noting that this episode was recorded before the SDCC Marvel panel.

X-Plained:

  • Quentin Quire
  • Patreon
  • A startling omission from the official SDCC lineup
  • The current state of the X-Men
  • Decimation
  • Dark Reign
  • Utopia
  • Schism
  • Avengers vs. X-Men
  • Mutant politics
  • Hope Summers
  • The Phoenix/P.E.N.I.S. five (again)
  • The (real) (this time) (we think) death of Charles Xavier
  • Teenager hijinks
  • Crossover events
  • Battle of the Atom
  • Semantics of supervillainy
  • How Wolverine is 100% definitely going to die
  • Jumping-on points
  • Current X-books
  • Jubilee

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

 

As Mentioned in Episode 13 – Last Stand on the Moon

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You can tell she’s evil on account of the foreshortening. (X-Men #135)
Well, that escalated quickly. (X-Men #135)
“Inexorable” is a word we use a lot when talking about the Dark Phoenix Saga. This is one of those moments that can only lead in one devastating direction. (X-Men #135)
You can tell it’s a big deal because of the cameos… (X-Men #135)
…and the cross-promotion. Hi, Silver Surfer! (X-Men #135)
MALEFIC DESTINY! Claremont can be pretty overwrought, but for a story like this, we would argue that he is PRECISELY WROUGHT ENOUGH. (X-Men #135)
See, shit like this? This is why “malefic destiny” is an entirely appropriate and to-scale phrase. (X-Men #135)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (X-Men #135)
The Shi’ar: Why You Can’t Have Nice Things. (X-Men #136)
But first, a brief round of Danger Room exposition! (X-Men #136)
In John Grey’s defense, “what to do when your child is possessed by a potentially malevolent cosmic force” is really not covered adequately in most parenting books. (X-Men #136)
Comics Wolverine > Movie Wolverine. (X-Men #136)
If Xander’s crayon speech from that one Buffy episode is not direct homage to this scene, I will EAT MY HAT, and also your hat. (X-Men #136)
GOD DAMNIT, PROFESSOR X. (X-Men #136)
And THAT’S how you do a high-stakes psychic duel! (X-Men #136)
This will definitely not come back to haunt you. DEFINITELY NOT. (X-Men #136)
Maybe we will just put this cover in every single “as mentioned” gallery forever. Really, it deserves it. (X-Men #137)
The Watcher is like the narrative equivalent of pullquotes. (X-Men #137)
One step closer to the end. (X-Men #137)
But first, Beast pretty definitely gets a happy ending from a space massage therapist with epic green sideburns! (X-Men #137)
Again: Comics Wolverine > Movie Wolverine. (X-Men #137)
“I’ll take ‘scenes that always make Rachel tear up’ for 200, Alex.” (X-Men #137)
Yeah. (X-Men #137)
TEAMWORK! (X-Men #137)
“I’ll take ‘scenes that always make Rachel tear up’ for 1000, Alex.” (X-Men #137)
Can we have a moment of silence for this completely and absolutely perfect page? (X-Men #137)
The (definitely absolutely 100% permanent) death of Phoenix. (X-Men #137)
This is one of those covers that will be riffed and referenced until the end of time. (X-Men #138)
X-Men #138 renders 11 of the last 12 episodes of this podcast pretty much redundant.
The end… (X-Men #138)
…and the beginning. (X-Men #138)

P.S. We have some rad new stuff in our store, including dark-background Magneto Made Some Valid Points shirts and Chris Haley’s spiffy new YAYBO! design! Go buy shirts so we can buy comics!

Haley_Yaybo_Shirt

13 – Last Stand on the Moon

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In which Jean commits genocide, the Shi’ar are total dicks (again), we have feelings about X-Men #137, Claremont and Byrne do what they do best, shit gets real on the moon, Kitty joins the team, and the Dark Phoenix Saga concludes.

 

X-Plained:

  • Inhumans
  • The Kree
  • The Terrigen Mist
  • Teamwork
  • The Dark Phoenix
  • Cameos with cosmic implications
  • The Phoenix event horizon
  • Establishing scale
  • Psychic battles
  • The winged never-nudes of the Marvel Universe
  • Danger-room exposition
  • The Shi’ar’s really dubious justice system
  • Why X-Men #137 is the definitive issue of X-Men
  • Pacing
  • The power of friendship
  • Quiet moments
  • The blue area of the moon
  • The best last stand
  • Moon vandalism
  • The Phoenix Retcon

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

As Mentioned on Episode 5 – The Retcon That Walks Like a Man

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Giant-Size X-Men #1. Prepare for forty years of riffs on this cover.
The best-dressed mob in Germany.
And THAT’S how you punch a tractor.
“Oh, y’know. Fight crime, see the world, get your memory rewritten every few weeks, maybe go on a really fucked up date with Dracula…”
When Xavier finds him, Thunderbird is literally wrestling a buffalo to death.
Sunfire’s first appearance, in X-Men #64.
Most of the New & Different X-Men get a full page or two to join the team. Banshee? Two panels. He’s just that chill.
“Think you can just walk away, Wolverine? We’ll come after you with our deadliest weapon yet: Alpha Flight crossovers!”
Wow. You… certainly made some choices there, Professor.
Sunfire is absolutely delightful.
At this point, I’m pretty sure he’s just messing with them for fun.
This is the second of three times Sunfire calls Nightcrawler “Misfit” on one page–which is actually a pretty welcome break from the X-Men referring to each other exclusively by ethnic epithets. Len Wein, DON’T DO THAT.
This jerk.
This is pretty much the platonic ideal of an X-Men fight scene: teamwork, cool powers, and narration busting Kool-Aid-Man-style through the fourth wall.
Fun fact: Polaris will later go on to get an advanced degree in geophysics.
“You know… stuff?”
We see what you did, there.
Moira MacTaggert has opinions about retcons.
Introducing: The Worst Summers Brother
“Hey, kids, want to be superheroes?”
It’s worth noting that Moira’s team’s emergency psychic training regimen includes a Hostess Fruit Pie ad callback.
They are so doomed.
It’s almost like you live with a telepath who messes with people’s memories all the time.
Wait, what? But that’s not how it…
…oh. That explains some things.
Damn, X. That’s cold.
Professor X: Master of the retcon, worst surrogate parent ever.
Sorry ’bout that, guys.
Then Gabriel goes and punches an empire to death.

Further Reading:

Rachel made a separate guide to Kid Vulcan, which you can find here.

Giant Size X-Men #1

X-Men: Deadly Genesis

Cheryl Lynn Eaton on Storm and race

 

5 – The Retcon That Walks Like a Man

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In which the Bronze Age begins; Dave Cockrum is your god now; the band gets together; Sunfire joins the team; cultural sensitivity is not Marvel’s strong suit; Sunfire quits the team; it sucks to be Cyclops; Professor X crosses a moral event horizon; Sunfire joins the team; Ed Brubaker channels Thomas Hardy; you are probably a Summers brother; and Sunfire quits the team.

X-Plained:

  • Bamf-Voltron Nightcrawler
  • Giant-Size X-Men #1
  • The worst hat of the Marvel Universe
  • The Mostly-New, Mostly-Different X-Men
  • A business-casual angry mob
  • The limits of creative good intentions
  • Tractor punching on the Ust-Ordynski Collective
  • The correct spelling of “fine”
  • Canada
  • Sunfire’s utter disdain for everything, including you
  • Krakoa: The Island That Walks Like a Man!
  • Characteristics of good X-fights
  • Yet another miracle of magnetism
  • X-Men: Deadly Genesis
  • Summers Family Continuity (Introductory)
  • More hats
  • The Muir-MacTaggert Research Facility
  • Summers Family Continuity (Intermediate)
  • The Charles Xavier Scale of Supervillainy
  • Relative immunity
  • Wolverine’s ubiquity

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION:

  • What would you do with thirteen X-Men?
  • Help us find all-ages-friendly Marvel Girl stories!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

As Mentioned on Episode 4 – American History X-Men

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The Steve Rude covers are the hands-down best part of X-Men: Children of the Atom.
Seriously. This is off the rails. Steve Rude, man.
X-Men: Children of the Atom really, really, really wants to be the Dark Knight Returns of X-Men. It’s not.
X-Men: Children of the Atom tries so hard to make Fred Duncan a noir protagonist. (Hint: nope.)
Bear in mind that Children of the Atom came out in 1999, and is nominally set in the same year.
Oh, hi, guys. (Children of the Atom)
Charles Xavier: the worst ever, forever. (Children of the Atom)
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU HIRED HITLER! (Children of the Atom)
After the Rave-Up, they’re going to go do some crimes, like go get sushi and not pay. (Children of the Atom)
Deep stealth Hank McCoy. (Children of the Atom)
Hank dabbles briefly in victim blaming. (Children of the Atom)
Jack “Tricky Dick” Winters. (Children of the Atom)
Well, yes–that’s sort of the problem. (Children of the Atom)
Magneto chews the scenery and regurgitates it into your brain like you are a baby bird of villainy and he is your mother and I think this metaphor kind of got away from me. (Children of the Atom)
Okay, that’s pretty cool: the opening narration of X-Men #1 closes Children of the Atom.
X-Men: First Class, but not THAT X-Men First Class.
Take THAT, Silver-Age gender politics! (X-Men: First Class)
Even the least creepy version of Professor X is still pretty creepy. (X-Men: First Class)
Aw, these dudes. (X-Men: First Class)
Cyclops #1–a one-shot that’s part of the First Class continuity, in which Cyclops actually has a good day.
For more fun, low-angst X-Men in the spirit of First Class, we recommend the hell out of this X-Men / Power Pack miniseries.
How much do we love X-Men: Season One? SO MUCH.
Jean Grey: Now available with a point of view and distinct personality! (X-Men: Season One)
We also appreciate that X-Men: Season One understands the importance of X-Plaining the X-Men.
This comic book, y’all. (X-Men: Season One)
Iceman: chronically under-appreciated, chronically awesome. X-Men: Season One
Most of all, X-Men: Season One is about a bunch of screwed up teenagers figuring out how to be a team. It’s a really neat book.
No one draws shifty faces like Jamie McKelvie. (X-Men: Season One)
Bobby invents Dance Pants in 2019. Don’t tell him. He needs to stumble on it himself.
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men t-shirts: Now available! (Stickers, too.)
We Are Comics is a campaign to show—and celebrate—the faces of our community, our industry, and our culture; to promote the visibility of marginalized members of our population; and to stand in solidarity against harassment and abuse. See our full post here.
Next week on Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men!

Links and further reading:

The X-Axis Silver Age X-Men Index (archived)

Marvels

X-Men: Children of the Atom

X-Men: First Class

X-Men: Season One

We Are Comics

Redbubble Shop

4 – American History X-Men

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In which Rachel finally gets to say “WHAT?!,” we examine three variations on the Silver Age, Twin Peaks is reality TV, we can’t believe you hired Hitler, Angel is not Batman, even the most sympathetic Xavier is still pretty creepy, Cyclops has a good day, Marvel Girl is not going to throw a dinosaur for you, Iceman is the Troy Barnes of the X-Men, and we say a fond farewell to the Silver Age.

X-Plained:

  • The X-Axis
  • X-Men: Children of the Atom
  • Hard-sell noir
  • How to party like it’s sometime between 1986 and 1991, as filtered through 1999
  • The perils of over-referencing
  • Why Marvel is in the Tommy Westphall Universe
  • The worst guidance counselor ever
  • Villain speeches
  • X-Men: First Class (but not that one)
  • Fun, and several places to find it
  • Angst-free X-Men
  • Gender politics of superheroism
  • X-Men: Season One
  • Teenagers
  • The solution to the Silver-Age-Jean Grey problem
  • Why Iceman matters
  • The Silver Age cram book

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

As Mentioned In Episode 1 – The Strangest Podcast of Them All

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Magneto, in X-Men #1, also speaks for our feelings about this podcast.
Professor X X-Plains the X-Men in X-Men #1
Every problem with Jean Grey’s characterization, summed up in one panel from X-Men #1
See this? This is why Cyclops is eventually gonna get the girl. (X-Men #1)
Play along at home: How many lies is Professor Xavier telling in these panels from X-Men #1?
One of the many miracles of magnetism portrayed in X-Men #1 is Magneto’s Incredible Mutating Hat.
Everything Magneto knows about supervillainy, he learned from the Wicked Witch of the West. (X-Men #1)
YAYBO! (X-Men #1)
Professor X knows how to decorate in X-Men #2.
Snow grenades, from X-Men #1.
At some point, we’re going to have a long conversation about the X-Men and the concept of the model minority. (X-Men #2)
Natural consequences, as explored in X-Men #2.
This actually happens in X-Men #3, because the Silver Age.
Two for the price of one: Cyclops angstily humblebragging, and the Ubiquitous Plaid Suit! (X-Men #3)

Recommended for new readers:

1 – The Strangest Podcast of Them All

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In which we begin at the beginning: everything clicks with #3, Professor Xavier is a jerk, Magneto is a fearless fashionista, Cyclops gets a name, Jean Grey has a chronic case of the Silver Age, and allegorical diversity is not enough.

X-Plained:

  • Mutant genetics and taxonomy
  • Practical semantics of “X-Men”
  • Charles Xavier’s equally dubious ethics and decorating choices
  • Superhero couture of the Atomic Age
  • Why Cyclops can’t control his powers
  • The miracle of comic-book magnetism
  • A problematic analogy
  • X-books for beginners
  • Snow grenades
  • The word “yaybo”
  • The mystery of the ubiquitous plaid suit

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!