Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: magneto

As Mentioned in Episode 106 – The X-Terminators

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Hi, Bill Gaines! (X-Terminators #1)
In which Bogdanove goes full Silver-Age romance-cover! (X-Terminators #1)
And so it was. (X-Terminators #1)
Wellp. (X-Terminators #1)
Can Bogdanove draw Boom Boom forever, please? (X-Terminators #1)
THIS KID IS AWESOME. (X-Terminators #1)
The cartoonishness of this series is really, really fun. (X-Terminators #1)
“Classic goblin behavior.” Did she learn about this in school? (X-Terminators #1)
JAIL BREAK TIME! (X-Terminators #1)
Boom Boom vs. vending machines. (X-Terminators #2)
I love the extent to which Hostess Fruit Pies became a running joke within actual Marvel comics. (X-Terminators #2)
So doomed. (X-Terminators #2)
This is probably a little too niche to describe as “every parent’s worst nightmare,” but I’m sure it hit home for someone. (X-Terminators #2)
#WINNING (X-Terminators #2)
Seriously, though–wouldn’t it be funnier if this were just a regular Viewmaster? (X-Terminators #2)
I can’t find the Ghostbusters production photo this is an homage to, but I swear it exists. (X-Terminators #3)
The living landscape of NYC quickly becomes legitimately terrifying, without ever quite losing its cartoonishness. (X-Terminators #3)
Incidental transitional panel, or hidden pitch for a whole new series? (X-Terminators #3)
Magic spells are ridiculous. (X-Terminators #3)
THOSE FACES. (X-Terminators #4)
You know that feeling when a crossover flies in from nowhere and whacks you in the back of the head? Yeah. (X-Terminators #4)
OKAY, THEN. (X-Terminators #4)
Wouldn’t that be multiplying it by 100? (X-Terminators #4)
Are… pigeons particularly notorious for meekly accepting destruction? Is that a thing? (X-Terminators #4)
And they all lived happily ever–HA, NO, JUST KIDDING. GO READ NEW MUTANTS. (X-Terminators #4)
NEXT WEEK: The fall of Magik.

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING:

106 – The X-Terminators

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Nextwave is both canon and not-canon; Inferno officially begins; X-Terminators is basically a cartoon; Bill Gaines cannot catch a break; Artie and Leach are superbabies; Takeshi Matsuya is fantastic; you should probably never take our advice about anything; Boom Boom is pretty good at superhero costume design; Walter Peck was right; Miles still won’t stop saying that one line about stealing a baby; N’astirh is no pigeon; and “No Mutant Is an Island” is a patently inaccurate statement.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Beyond Corporation
  • The Defilers
  • X-Terminators #1-4
  • The first 35 issues of X-Factor, briefly
  • Two teams with the same name
  • Fredric Wertham
  • Bill Gaines
  • Crotus
  • Babies
  • A boarding school that may or may not be Phillips Exeter Academy
  • Muffy
  • Saint Simon’s Academy
  • Wiz Kid (Takeshi Matsuya)
  • Nuprin
  • Medical advice from goblins
  • The Goblin Buster
  • Metareferential snack food
  • RadSport Sport Fashion Outfitters
  • An exceptionally specific Ghostbusters reference
  • Helen and Tim
  • Dubious spell semantics
  • How not to incorporate a crossover into a miniseries, and vice versa
  • “No Mutant Is an Island”
  • A brief history of Magneto’s helmet
  • Definitive Magnetos

NEXT WEEK: The fall of Magik.

Special thanks to multiversal metacontinuity wizard Al Ewing for the last-minute assist on the cold open!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 101 – Not Bad, Just Drawn That Way

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Magneto, you know that’s not gonna work. (New Mutants #67)
Teenagers, amirite? (New Mutants #67)
BLEVINS, STOP THAT. (New Mutants #67)
Chessboard cover. Take a drink, or manipulate your friends and loved ones in a complex tactical gambit. (New Mutants #68)
Eep. (New Mutants #68)
Aw, Illyana. (New Mutants #68)
There’s either a whole lot or very little going on here, and sometimes it’s difficult to work out which. (New Mutants #68)
Basically any PUA forum. (New Mutants #68)
Aw, Rahne. (New Mutants #68)
There are a few ways to read this scene. You do you. (New Mutants #68)
The problem with this era is that we can’t describe anything as “sinister” without implications. (New Mutants #68)
Aw, Rahne. (New Mutants #68)
If I had a dollar for every time I’d seen this exact scenario pop up in Seventeen Magazine‘s “Most Embarrassing Moments”… (New Mutants #68)
Spyder then posts a long string of rants on Twitter, in which he refers to women exclusively as “females.” (New Mutants #69)
INFERNOWATCH, AHOY! (New Mutants #69)
Haven’t we all got eldritch abominations inside us, when it comes down to it? (New Mutants #69)
You’re a good kid, Bobby. (New Mutants #69)
This is a man who’s one bad day away from writing “Surrender Dorothy” in the sky with iron filings. (New Mutants #70)
That doesn’t even… y’know what? Never mind. Let’s just run with it. (New Mutants #70)
And you thought your family reunions were rough. (New Mutants #70)
There are too many reasons that this doesn’t make sense to list here. Go listen to the episode. (New Mutants #70)
NEXT EPISODE: Decapitatoin and baby theft with X-Factor

101 – Not Bad, Just Drawn That Way

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which it’s pretty much always terrible to be Magik; Y is a sometimes vowel; Wolfsbane is a secret Disney Princess; feelings ruin everything; and Gossamyr may or may not be an allegory (but is pretty interesting either way).

X-PLAINED:

  • What Lila Cheney is up to these days
  • New Mutants #67-70
  • Gratuitous space spelling
  • Gossamyr
  • Spyder
  • The Accountants
  • Magneto’s ongoing slide into supervillainy
  • A few fairly specific elements of teen-girl social dynamics
  • Wolfsbane’s greatest desire
  • Practical logistics of teleporting aliens into a sun
  • Approaching the X-books as a new writer
  • Who we’d put on an all-X-Men trivia team

NEXT EPISODE: BabyRace 2000; and Archangel vs. Cameron Hodge

Special thanks to Kieron Gillen for the X-pert consult; and to Arvin Bautista for the use of “I Will Steal Your Heart.”

InfernoWatch:

  • Illyana’s descent continues
  • S’ym gains near-complete control of Limbo
  • First instances of possessed machinery and architecture

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 94 – WELCOME TO DIE!

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Pryde of the X-Men‘s character designs are pretty damned comics-accurate, if slightly pastel. (I guess Kitty would have gotten her Shadowcat costume later?)
Real talk: if you watch this show on VHS, Spider-Man takes a minute of your time beforehand to tell you how important it is to vote.
Okay, that’s a legitimately cool way of showing how awesome telepathy can be. And a legitimately GI Joe-looking moment.
“Choose your character, Kitty Pryde!”
This image documents Kitty’s single moment of hesitation before she decides that following a bunch of strangers into space is a great plan.
Pryde of the X-Men‘s Storm may actually be her best on-screen portrayal.
“G’day! Let’s get a dingo on the barbie, you wallaby! Foster’s!”
This makes me actually kind of wish Dazzler had been on the team in the early 80s.
The Arcade Game: Heroes!
The Arcade Game: Villains!
It’s… basically a whole lot of this.
Three Living Monoliths for the price of one!
Twelve-year-old Miles was in heaven. Thirty-three-year-old Miles was too.
Our players: Anna Sheffey, Miles Stokes, and Elisabeth Allie!
Next time: The Brood are back, baby.

LINKS:

94 – WELCOME TO DIE! (feat. Elisabeth Allie)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Miles and Elisabeth X-Plain Pryde of the X-Men; Magneto is somehow even worse at branding than Mystique; the X-Universe is in desperate need of responsible adults; Wolverine hates kids; everybody’s mean to Lockheed; and the Sentinels represent your feelings.

X-PLAINED:

  • Wolverine’s Australian accent
  • Pryde of the X-Men
  • X-Men / Muppet Babies analogues
  • The Brotherhood of Mutant Terrorists
  • How not to comfort scared teenagers
  • The X-Cessible X-Men
  • The Mutant Power Circuit
  • Terrible parenting
  • A MacGuffin
  • A Really Dubious Evil Plot
  • Several Additional MacGuffins
  • THE POWER!
  • One of many reasons to be nice to animals
  • Space
  • The X-Men Arcade Game
  • Ground Kontrol
  • X-Men: Madness in Murderworld
  • The Uncanny X-Men (game)
  • Metaphorical sentinels
  • Mysterious lizards
  • Video game mechanics vs. superhero ethics
  • Pryde of the X-Men vs the ’90s animated series vs. X-Men: Evolution
  • Alternate animated series hooks

NEXT WEEK: The Brood go to a revival meeting

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

93 – The Discreet Charm of the Brood

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which airplanes are really dangerous if you’re a mutant, Magik remembers that time she dreamed about remembering a dream, those who live by mystically bad judgment die by mystically bad judgment, It’s Always Mystique (TM), and everything leads to Inferno.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • Forge’s moral compass
  • New Mutants #62-63 and #65-66
  • Empath and irredeemable vs. sympathetic villains
  • Magical postal eagles
  • Nova Roma
  • Jag-u-ars
  • Art as era signifier
  • Time travel nightmare logic
  • Sharpiemancy
  • The “last” Brood
  • Jerk headmasters who won’t even let you commit murder
  • A long-awaited roomie reunion
  • Bret Blevins’s mad Limbo skillz
  • Claremont / Simonson character maturity equilibrium
  • Astrally furry pants
  • Loyalty to the living versus loyalty to the dead
  • The Ultimate Darkchilde
  • Wolverine’s surprisingly non-metallic teeth
  • Partying with the New Mutants

NEXT WEEK: Pryde of the X-Men.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
The vaguely slapstick motifs in this story somehow make it even sadder. (New Mutants #64)
And it really only gets more depressing from here. (New Mutants #64)
No, seriously. (New Mutants #64)
Everything is terrible forever. (New Mutants #64)
=( (New Mutants #64)
Yeah, we do not have a sassy caption for this. Sorry. (New Mutants #64)
Aw, man. These kids. (New Mutants #64)
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
Harder than fighting Sentinels, apparently. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
“It’s four hours of me, a vacuum cleaner, and a theremin.” (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
The X-Men take costume parties REALLY DAMN SERIOUSLY. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
“Also, that is literally one of the only two non-uniform outfits you own.” (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
How not to lay out a page for coherent reading order. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
SO THEN THAT HAPPENED. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
And they all lived happily ever after. THE END! (But Doug Ramsey was still dead.) (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)

91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which New Mutants #64 is the saddest single issue of any X-book ever; the New Mutants have to grow up fast; Warlock comes to terms with mortality; The Last of Us is harder to play the second time; Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade is delightfully unhinged; animated Cyclops is totally the worst; Beast probably has a terrible garage band; Jean starts a kitchen fire; and Wolverine saves Jubilee’s birthday.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • The saddest issue ever
  • New Mutants #64
  • The only okay way to watch Grave of the Fireflies
  • The aftermath of Doug Ramsey’s death
  • Several unhealthy coping mechanisms
  • The Last of Us
  • Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade
  • Some varyingly impressive costumes
  • General irresponsibility
  • Why Wolverine is wearing a clown suit
  • Douglock
  • The New Mutants’ D&D alignments

NEXT WEEK: You never forget your first Ship.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 87 – It’s Always Darkest…

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Don’t get too attached to these guys. (New Mutants #59)
Roll for initiative! (New Mutants #59)
Lookit this E.C. lookin’ jerk! (New Mutants #59)
Truth. (New Mutants #59)
Seriously, the Ani-mator is so creepy. (New Mutants #60)
Or you could just–you know what? Never mind. Forget it. Freakin’ teenagers. (New Mutants #60)
And that’s why you always leave a note. (New Mutants #60)
Oh, THAT guy. (New Mutants #60)
How many times has he done this so far? Two? Three? (New Mutants #60)
Well, fuck. (New Mutants #60)
Well, fuck. (New Mutants #60)
Later, she justifies this by saying that it’s what Doug would have wanted, which seems questionable. (New Mutants #60)
Meanwhile, in the other 2/3 of the event… (New Mutants #61)
Even horses, Warlock. (New Mutants #61)
Aw, man. These kids. (New Mutants #61)
Aw, man. These kids. (New Mutants #61)
It really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really sucks to be New Mutants-era Magneto. (New Mutants #61)
And to add insult to injury, somehow the graduation costumes got even worse. (New Mutants #61)
NEXT WEEK: The Fall of the Mutants concludes with X-Factor!