Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Magic

As Mentioned in Episode 421 – Dudleyworld or Bust

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Fast times at Dudleyworld! (Colossus #1)
Aw, these wacky kids.(Colossus #1)
Note: This is supposed to be taking place during the day. (Colossus #1)
EliSabeth, you mean! (Colossus #1)
The Proletarian! (Colossus #1)
BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T TELL HER WHAT WAS GOING ON. (Colossus #1)
On the scale of bad disguises, I’ve seen worse. (Colossus #1)
He’s smooth, I’ll give him that. (X-Men Unlimited #19)
“What the HELL, Mom?!” (X-Men Unlimited #19)
See what I mean about her head? (X-Men Unlimited #19)
My kingdom for follow-through on this tease. (X-Men Unlimited #19)
NEXT EPISODE: The secret origin of Maggott!

421 – Dudleyworld or Bust

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In which one letter can make a big difference; it’s just not Arcade without giant pinballs; Colossus is nobody’s fool; Margali Szardos is not a relative you want to stay in touch with; Nightcrawler turns to the jerk side; and Jay and Miles pitch an X-Men kids’ show.

X-PLAINED:

  • Elisabeth Wilford vs. Elizabeth Wilford
  • Colossus #1
  • X-Men Unlimited #19
  • How to name a miniseries or one-shot
  • The destructive potential of happiness
  • A clock
  • An inaccurate duplicate of Avalon
  • The return of the Proletarian
  • Costumes with characters’ faces on them
  • Death by irony
  • A journey to Limbo
  • Several blasts from the past
  • Margali Szardos’s head
  • Foreshadowing that we desperately wish had panned out
  • Cold open curation
  • A hypothetical X-Men show for five-year-olds

NEXT EPISODE: The secret origin of Maggott

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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HAWK TALK – Wizards

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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about wizards.

Topics, roughly:

  • Fantasy wizards
  • Space wizards
  • Beards and wizards and gender
  • Vancian spellcasting
  • Wizard taxonomy
  • The Baal Shem
  • Book learnin’
  • Towers and Discworld wizards
  • Dragonlance wizards
  • Tolkien wizards
  • Iceman with a wizard beard
  • Which animals make the best wizards
  • Magic: the Gathering
  • Our wizardy D&D characters

As Mentioned in Episode 330 – Suddenly, Ninjas

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Photo backgrounds are among his arcane talents. (Uncanny X-Men #329)
*skitter* (Uncanny X-Men #329)
Seriously, I love this concept. (Uncanny X-Men #329)
If I had a dollar for every time I’d seen an angry man pull a tiny dude out of the back of an old woman, I would be… well, broke, but that’s not the point. (Uncanny X-Men #329)
Ah, yes, the sacred goth club. (Uncanny X-Men #329)
Seriously, there is no reasonable justification for this. (Uncanny X-Men #330)
Note: He pulled that figurine out of Archangel’s chest. (Uncanny X-Men #330)
Looks like one of those days. (X-Men #50)
Sure, why not? (X-Men #50)
WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE BEAST? (X-Men #50)
Another day, another giant floating head in the Xavier manor. (X-Men #50)
NEXT EPISODE: Brooding.

330 – Suddenly, Ninjas

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the podcast turns seven; Matt has officially edited half the podcast; a lot of things are made by metal; Doctor Strange is a big weirdo; Gambit is a scoundrel, not a villain; Wolverine goes goth; Onslaught could probably use a better herald; Bishop fires two guns whilst going aaaaaaa; and we commit to making what sense we can of Onslaught.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Betsy got her body back
  • Several simultaneous anniversaries
  • Uncanny X-Men #329-330
  • X-Men #50
  • Some ninja bullshit
  • A lot of less-benign-than-it-looks racism
  • Excellent use of a neon sign
  • An odd couple
  • The evolution of art tools
  • Steam vs. metal
  • Gomurr the Ancient
  • The Ebon Vein
  • Catastrophic magic
  • Our favorite iterations of Doctor Strange
  • The Crimson Dawn
  • How one becomes Gomurr the Ancient
  • Tar (Proctor of the Crimson Dawn)
  • Post (Herald of Onslaught)
  • An entity who may or may not be Onslaught
  • Continuity party tricks
  • Survivors of the Age of Apocalypse

NEXT EPISODE: Brood X!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 326 – Son of a Gun

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Fun times with holograms! (X-Factor #119)
Oh, THAT guy. (X-Factor #119)
If I had a dollar for every date that ended this way… (X-Factor #119)
Sir, your gun appears to be several cardboard boxes. (X-Factor #120)
Well, that’s going to be a problem. (X-Factor #120)
Okay, but seriously, why is Roma in this, again>? (X-Factor #121)
OH SNAP (X-Factor #121)

326 – Son of a Gun

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which it’s hard to be a hologram; the Internet is terrible and you should probably avoid it; we have no idea how Naze is still alive; this is not your mom’s Adversary (if your mom is Fall of the Mutants); Forge is an order muppet; and Sabretooth is not a great addition to most teams.

X-PLAINED:

  • Skrulls in American history
  • X-Factor’s attrition rate
  • The spirit spell (again)
  • The Adversary (again)
  • X-Factor #119-121
  • Hypercolor(TM) t-shirts
  • Oblivion vs. masturbation
  • Mark Trail (more) (again)
  • Forge’s complicated relationship with magic
  • The death of X-Factor
  • Several retcons
  • The resurrection of X-Factor
  • (Mis)representation of indigenous cultures in X-books
  • Jim Jaspers vs. the Adversary
  • The spirit spell (YET AGAIN)
  • The Feron of X-Factor
  • Val ‘n’ Victor
  • Dubious use of technology
  • A red herring
  • The lingering spectre of Days of Future Past
  • Our tech issues
  • Reasonable accommodations at the Xavier School

NEXT EPISODE: Cable vs. X-Force

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 276 – Wizard Problems

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I’m still kind of angry that this isn’t the interior art style. (Excalibur #83)
But are there roller skates? (Excalibur #83)
Still creepy; still cool. (Excalibur #83)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #83)
There’s something very Philip Bond about this pair of panels; and I, for one, am here for it. (Excalibur #83)
Ew. (Excalibur #83)
Evil Kitty’s hair is SO GREAT. (Excalibur #84)
Seriously. So. Excellent. (Excalibur #84)
Is it, though? (Excalibur #84)
Purple on purple. (Excalibur #84)
“Magic, subtext, whatever.” (Excalibur #84)
Choices, choices. (Excalibur #84)
It’s like when a character has been written out of a show but the actor’s contract isn’t up so they have to keep doing flashbacks. (Excalibur #85)
Starring Eliot Spencer as Wolverine. (Excalibur #85)
That’s just… not true. Like, at all. (Excalibur #85)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (Excalibur #85)
Next Episode: Jorts Unlimited!

LINKS & FURTHER DIVERSIONS:

276 – Wizard Problems

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Excalibur gets a regular writer again; we judge a book against against its covers; nothing good ever comes from being sexy on Muir Isle; and the soul sword’s real power is cutting through continuity.

X-PLAINED:

  • Stegron
  • Dinosaur powers
  • Excalibur #83-85 (The Soul Sword Trilogy)
  • Warren Ellis on Excalibur
  • Excalibur (more) (again)
  • Bends Sinister and Bend Sinister
  • Outsider days
  • Mail
  • Boundaries
  • Darkoth
  • Gravemoss
  • The Winding Way
  • Shrill
  • A problematic prosthesis
  • Roger Corman’s The Raven
  • A large number of continuity errors
  • Gratuitous dickery
  • An untold tale
  • The semantics of skin removal
  • Possession vs. retrograde amnesia
  • The circle of nostalgia

NEXT EPISODE: Jorts Unlimited!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 132 – Nornheim Lemonade

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
“I mean, seriously, this is how EVERY FIGHT YOU’VE GOTTEN INTO THIS STORY has gone. Are you really surprised?” (New Mutants #82)
Aw, man. Rictor is such a good dude. (New Mutants #82)
Hela: Actually really good at this whole “villainous plan” business. (New Mutants #82)
“Also, I’m super into wrestling.” (New Mutants #83)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (New Mutants #83)
Volstagg’s kids are so awesome. (New Mutants #84)
Ula and the Savage Swarm! (New Mutants #84)
If you can’t punch pterosaurs, punching the jerks riding them is the next best option. (New Mutants #84)
Let’s have a moment of awed silence for the sheer audacity of Baldur’s outfit. (New Mutants #84)
FIIIIIIIGHT! (New Mutants #85)
Asgard: where you can have a dramatic death and then show up again WITHOUT resorting to retcons! (New Mutants #85)
Evil Dani is EVIL, man. (New Mutants #85)
And that’s how you sound-effect. (New Mutants #85)
Hela, of course, manages to work in one final villain speech. Because she’s a pro. (New Mutants #85)
Considering that Rob Liefeld’s run starts next issue, I’m gonna go with “no.” (New Mutants #85)
Meanwhile on Midgard*, Rusty and Skids basically play out variations on this gag forever. (New Mutants #84)

*Earth
Bret Blevins does draw a pretty splendid Vulture, though. (New Mutants #83)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. Celestials!

LINKS:

  • We covered the first half of the Asgard Adventure in Episode 127 – Disaster City.
  • COME SEE US AT VEGAS VALLEY COMIC BOOK FEST ON NOVEMBER 5! It’s an awesome convention, and we will be doing a VERY SPECIAL live show.