Apparently we’re all about the High Evolutionary today, starting with this great piece of fan art–riffing on our Very Sound Theory on the actual implications of his name–from artist Kyle Latino:
The High Evolutionary, by Kyle Latino
We had so much fun writing the High Evolutionary Mad-Libs for the Episode 96 cold open that we decided to make a playable version! Try your hand at concocting a new secret origin for the only supervillain so bad at his job that Apocalypse had to stage an intervention–and share your horrifying new canons in the comments!
Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
How you know a psychic event is a big deal: the cross-franchise reaction montage! (X-Factor Annual #3)
Well, that’s certainly one way to stage an intervention. (X-Factor Annual #3)
These delightful scamps. (X-Factor Annual #3)
Warlock, never change. (New Mutants Annual #4)
Can we have a moment of rapt silence for how well June Brigman draws body language? (New Mutants Annual #4)
The High Evolutionary’s head scientist, Stack, appears to be dual-wielding a cane and a staple gun. Because, evolution. (New Mutants Annual #4)
“On Wednesdays, we wear pink.” (New Mutants Annual #4)
Hell, yeah, equal-opportunity battle lingerie! (Well, except for Magneto, but he marches to the beat of his own fuchsia drum.) (New Mutants Annual #4)
Horses: totally the worst. (New Mutants Annual #4)
The scene that blew tiny Miles’s tiny mind. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
Man, if we had a dollar for every time that happened… (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
POIT: Definitely the cutest sound effect. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
In which Alex comes *this close* to the realization that Charles Xavier is totally a supervillain. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
SURE, WHY NOT? (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
Remember the time Storm had adventures on pirate space city on the back of a flying wolf? Because that was definitely a thing that actually happened. (Classic X-Men #22)
Oh, THAT guy. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
I’m not actually certain they ever followed up on this. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
It’s kind of a shame this logo didn’t stick around, because it’s pretty sweet. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which we play Evolutionary War Mad-Libs; it’s probably a bad sign when Apocalypse decides you need an intervention; Dani is (briefly) the new Doug; horses are jerks; it’s probably really dangerous to be Longshot; Storm has the coolest friends; the High Evolutionary is very high indeed; and we make a (very token) nod to Valentine’s Day.
X-PLAINED:
Secret Origins of the High Evolutionary
Evolutionary War
The actual history of eugenics in America
X-Factor Annual #3
New Mutants Annual #4
Uncanny X-Men Annual #12
Classic X-Men #22
Purifiers (but not those purifiers)
Stack
Purge
How to tell when an event has major psychic repercussions
A Silver-Age callback
An Apocalypse-style intervention
Toga Steve (Val-Or)
The return of Bulk and Glow Worm
Equal-opportunity Hellfire lingerie
Mirage’s power upgrade
Miles vs. puberty vs. Uncanny X-Men
The coolest civilization ever
Colossus’s illegitimate kid
The cutest sound effect
Origins of the Scott/Jean/Logan love triangle
Stuff Jay likes and Miles doesn’t
The Elle Collins Theory of Podcast Roles
NEXT EPISODE: Captain Britain!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
