Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Lorna Dane

As Mentioned in Episode 467 – Disorganizing Principle

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And then Marrow whacked a centaur with a dinosaur, as happens. (Uncanny X-Men #373)
Piotr Rasputin, clown in training. (Uncanny X-Men #373)
Nice Sienkiewicz-style sketchiness… (Uncanny X-Men #373)
What’s up, Doctor Klaw? (Uncanny X-Men #373)
Poor Sarah… (Uncanny X-Men #373)
Mikhail turns a chair into a dinosaur to prove every point. (Uncanny X-Men #374)
Jeez, at least put a beanbag chair in the corner or something. (Uncanny X-Men #374)
Marrow 4.0 meets Marrow 1.0. (Uncanny X-Men #374)
Marrow 4.0 meets Marrow 2.0. (Uncanny X-Men #374)
For him, it was Tuesday. (Uncanny X-Men #374)
I… definitely knew it all along! It was obvious, really! (Uncanny X-Men #374)
“I wish I could just turn into a bird like in X-Men Evolution.” (X-Men #93)
I’m starting with the elf in the mirror… (X-Men #93)
Honestly, Rogue’s response would’ve been understandable regardless of the nature of her powers. (X-Men #93)
Polaris is a little… out of character in this arc. Get used to it, I guess. (X-Men #93)
“So were Mystique and Destiny… Roommates? Gal Pals?” (X-Men #93)
I appreciate a clear sense of panel-to-panel movement. Even more so when it’s Rogue kicking ass. (X-Men #93)
Sunfire ponders how to quit the scene. (X-Men #94)
You wish it was just one journal, Kitty. Just you wait. (X-Men #94)
I know all of the As stand for Apocalypse, but I like to think Destiny was just giving her prophecies excellent grades. (X-Men #94)
Listen, Rogue, it could be worse – your mom may have disappeared in the middle of a sincere conversation, but at least she didn’t throw you off a bridge to be picked up by an evil wizard lady and her attractive daughter! (X-Men #94)
NEXT TIME: Jubilee gets revenge!

467 – Disorganizing Principle

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In which Nightcrawler has a type; the Hill is a bad place to raise your kids up; Colossus introduces Marrow to art; we come out against autotrepanation; Mikhail Rasputin never learns; Destiny leaves clues from beyond the grave; and The Twelve looms.

X-PLAINED:

  • That one universe where Mystique raised Nightcrawler in an attic
  • An event in name only
  • Some shit that went down a while ago
  • The Hill (more) (again)
  • Uncanny X-Men #373-374
  • X-Men #93-94
  • Marrow as a child soldier
  • Rural Boston
  • Some asshole
  • Mikhail Rasputin (more) (again)
  • How to prove that you’re a god
  • The souls of furniture and some other things
  • The green psychic entity who’s been secretly controlling Mikhail Rasputin, I guess?
  • Ninja problems
  • B. Byron Biggs
  • Ronnie Lake
  • A Conspiracy
  • How Rogue and Destiny met
  • Compulsory heterosexuality
  • Destiny’s diaries
  • Prognostication vs. agenda-setting
  • Skrullverine’s power mimicry
  • How the Mannites could’ve been used in the Krakoan era

NEXT EPISODE: Secrets of Jubilee’s past!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 452 – Hot Nothing

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That can’t be comfortable. (Magneto Rex #1)
One way to put a fire out. (Magneto Rex #1)
Phillip Moreau and Jenny Ransome. (Magneto Rex #1)
This freakin’ loser. (Magneto Rex #1)
The Zealot. (Magneto Rex #1)
Uncool, dude. (Magneto Rex #1)
Ferris endures. (Magneto Rex #2)
“You may have the Legacy Virus, but the L is still for ‘loser.'” (Magneto Rex #2)
This would have been way more dramatic if he’d been naked, right? (Magneto Rex #2)
That’s certainly one way to deal with your problems. (Magneto Rex #3)
That is in fact exactly what he means. (Magneto Rex #3)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Men ’97!

LINKS & OTHER ACADEMIA:

452 – Hot Nothing

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In which Magneto is not full of mirth; nobody real or fictional likes Fabian Cortez; when you’re a speedster, every problem is a metaphorical nail; The Zealot makes some valid points; and when Quicksilver declares himself your conscience, it’s time to examine your life.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Magneto got his powers back
  • Morally ambiguous hair
  • Genosha (more) (again)
  • Magneto Rex #1-3
  • Magneto vs. Conan
  • Trish Tilby
  • Omniscient narrative condemnation
  • Magneto’s true archfoe
  • Magistrates (more) (again)
  • Mutates (more) (again)
  • Dr. Alda Huxley
  • Phillip Moreau (more) (again)
  • Jenny Ransome (more) (again)
  • Pipeline (Cormac Grimshaw)
  • Teleportational nudity
  • The Zealot
  • Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
  • Amelia Voght (more) (again)
  • Several of Magneto’s on-again-off-again children
  • The Bastille (but not that one)
  • Mutant numbering
  • When to use full frontal nudity in your comic
  • The X-books we’re not covering
  • The Amulet of Right vs the Sword of Might

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men ’97!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 450 – Live at the Clinton Street Theater

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A smooth criminal. (Uncanny X-Men #428)
X-Men: First Class: The Draco (Uncanny X-Men #428)
Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #428)
I love that Wolverine tries to stop nude Nightcrawler from stealing the plane by throwing a beer can at it. (Uncanny X-Men #429)
You’d think he could at least let the cafeteria staff know he was planning on sleeping in there. (Uncanny X-Men #429)
Annie, no. (Uncanny X-Men #429)
This Hell sucks. (Uncanny X-Men #431)
And then Mystique flew violently out of a child’s abdomen, in one of the less bizarre scenes in this story arc. (Uncanny X-Men #431)
Dinner in Hell. (Uncanny X-Men #432)
*grumble grumble Daimon Hellstrom grumble* (Uncanny X-Men #432)
So, that happened. (Uncanny X-Men #433)
Either, really. (Uncanny X-Men #434)
Ginniyeh is the only remotely adequate demon in this arc. (Uncanny X-Men #434)
Awkward. (Uncanny X-Men #434)
NEXT EPISODE: Business as usual.

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE

450 – Live at the Clinton Street Theater

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In which we celebrate our tenth anniversary by X-Plaining what may be the most reviled X-arc; you should not try this at home; Mystique is so much better than this story; Azazel is a really boring devil; Nightcrawler should probably be missing a hand; the Xavier School definitely does not have an HR department; and we would prefer that you not pee on Iceman.

X-PLAINED:

  • Nightcrawler’s (most recent) parentage
  • Uncanny X-Men #428-434
  • X-Men Blue: Origins #1
  • The X-Men, like, in general
  • Nightcrawler (Kurt Wagner)
  • Some narrative choices
  • Mystique
  • Baron Christian Wagner
  • Marvel Europe
  • Azazel
  • Church sex
  • Nightstreaker
  • Isla des Demonas
  • Foibles of Warren Kenneth Worthington III
  • Annie and Carter Ghazikhanian
  • Abyss
  • Kiwi Black
  • The Cheyarafim and Neyaphem
  • Bad times with psychic therapy
  • Post-traumatic supervillainy
  • Uncool Hell
  • A miracle of magnetism
  • The only cool thing in Uncool Hell
  • A very elegant retcon
  • X-Muppets
  • Characters who deserve more page space
  • Miles’s favorite X-Person
  • What the Worthington Corporation does
  • A character who could reasonably be Azazel’s kid

NEXT EPISODE: Back to X-business as usual!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 424 – Times Change

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Looking for a stand-alone file of the muppet opening? Here you go:

Fixx just wants to be friends. (X-Factor #146)
Seriously, what the hell is going on with that facial hair? (X-Factor #146)
Havok’s powers look so good in this whole arc. (X-Factor #146)
Aw, Shard. (X-Factor #147)
I really enjoy this scene. (X-Factor #148)
Again: Havok’s powers, looking cool. (X-Factor #148)
It really is a terrible sweater. I should probably knit it someday. (X-Factor #149)
“Have fun in Alaska!” (X-Factor #149)
Madrox doesn’t betray anyone in that future, at least. (X-Factor #149)
And that’s that. (X-Factor #149)
Narrator voice: It was, in fact, the end. (X-Factor #149)
NEXT EPISODE: Psi-War!

424 – Times Change

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In which everything is Havok’s fault; Jay is a bad influence; Polaris makes some valid points; Jamie Madrox is the Bobby Drake of X-Factor; and X-Factor vol. 1 ends with a bang.

X-PLAINED:

  • Muppet rules
  • X-Factor, vol. 1, in general
  • X-Factor #146-149
  • Sense of place
  • Jude Black and his inexplicable facial hair
  • Boundaries
  • Edible Arrangements
  • A different kind of sports bar
  • Kevin
  • Nostalgia, I guess?
  • Several confrontations
  • Temporal insanity
  • A very specialized course
  • What happens next
  • The universe where Dazzler replaced Jean Grey in the original X-Factor
  • Characters we would like to have seen more of

NEXT EPISODE: Psi-War!

Special thanks to muppets Michal Richardson, Bilal Dardai, and Matt Hunter!

(You can find an mp3 of just the muppet opening in the visual companion.)

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 407 – Freshening Up

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(He is not in fact here to help.) (X-Factor #138)
Heh. Omega Red, man. (X-Factor #138)
The most threatening destroyed football you’ll see today. (X-Factor #138)
THAT IS AN EXCELLENT QUESTION. (X-Factor #138)
(Spoiler: That’s Mystique.) (X-Factor #138)
A delightful cover. (X-Factor #139)
This whole sequence is so good. (X-Factor #139)
Ever is weird, and I say that with all respect and admiration! (X-Factor #139)
Dark Beast DEFINITELY has multiple candy-colored iMacs. (X-Factor #139)
Mystique: once again mother of the year. (X-Factor #139)
The preceding page literally had a Slaughterhouse Five reference, and I’m kind of annoyed about it. (X-Factor #140)
Fixx, Greystone, and Archer. (X-Factor #140)
A guy who is probably not Cable. (He’s not; he’s an alternate-future Forge.) (X-Factor #140)
Batman. (X-Factor #140)
There are actually *multiple* people huffing frogs, if you look closely. (X-Factor #141)
SERIOUSLY WHY WOULD YOU EVER TRUST THIS MAN (X-Factor #141)
THE PLOT THICKENS (X-Factor #141)
NEXT EPISODE: Bishop: X.S.E.!

LINKS & FURTHER TIME SINKS

407 – Freshening Up

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In which X-Factor bounces from one rock-bottom to another; Sabretooth gets his (murderous) groove back; Dark Beast embraces the iMac aesthetic; the tip was righteous; Mystique multitasks like a pro; and Shard Bishop has come unstuck in time.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Nation
  • What X-Factor’s been up to
  • X-Factor #138-141
  • Omega Red (again)
  • The Brotherhood’s new hideout
  • Mallory Brickman
  • Miles and/or Ralph Brickman
  • Gloria Brickman
  • “Freshening up”
  • Mystique, but a sitcom
  • Agent Vargas
  • Ever
  • The secret purpose of Havok’s Brotherhood
  • Exhumes vs. emplates
  • Fixx
  • Greystone
  • Archer
  • The X.U.E.
  • Bantam
  • Leisure activities
  • What would happen if the T-O virus took over Cable’s body
  • What we want from X-Men #700

NEXT EPISODE: Bishop: X.S.E.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!