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291 – Eat Malarkey and Die

April 12, 2020 Jay 22 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we celebrate a birthday; nuclear war is never a good Plan A; every Logan is Old Man Logan; we are underwhelmed by the Pretty Boys of Earth-295; Jean Grey is one hell of a pilot; there are so many reasons not to like Donald Pierce; teleporters are the narrative nuclei of the Age of Apocalypse; and Gateway of Earth-295 deserves significantly more in-depth exploration than we can provide.

X-PLAINED:

Weapon X (Logan)
Weapon X #1-4
Irony
Coordinating costumes to tattoos (and vice versa)
How to ride a sentinel
Apocalypse’s sea wall
Mutant power classifications
The mass human evacuation
Nuclear war
Magma
A load of malarkey
Interactions of telepathy and PTSD
The Pretty Boys of Earth-295
How not to jump out of a zeppelin
What Carol Danvers smells like
Gateway (Earth-295)
An exceptionally high-tech guilt trip
Unconventional navigation
Character transformations between universes
The complex conundrum of Jean Grey
When humans became aware about mutants
Logan’s D&D alignment
Our own D&D character histories

NEXT EPISODE: Factor X!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 288 – Cape Citadel Remix

March 15, 2020 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

The brightness of this cover is so distinctive among the generally dark aesthetic of AoA. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)

Scenic Wundagore Mountain. Don’t get too attached. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)

It’s weird how functional their relationship is in this timeline. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)

Dig those primary colors! (X-Men: Chronicles #1)

Ugh, THAT guy. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)

“Also, we’re gonna divide you all up into guilds.” (X-Men: Chronicles #1)

Aw, kiddo. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)

Ah, yes, the traditional horsemen of Death, War, Gideon, Candra, and Sabretooth. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)

This guy is going to get immolated and then change his name to Holocaust, because he makes universally poor choices. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)

Meanwhile on ao3… (X-Men: Chronicles #1)

I like how retro Apocalypse is at the beginning of Earth-295 his rise. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)

So, yeah, that’s Wolverine. (X-Men: Chronicles #2)

I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND THE SHOULDERS (X-Men: Chronicles #2)

“Who has the least healthy boundaries?” (X-Men: Chronicles #2)

The X-Men’s presence is about 50/50 concern/ogling. (X-Men: Chronicles #2)

Nope. (X-Men: Chronicles #2)

How not to ask your crush out, starring Remy LeBeau, Disaster Bisexual. (X-Men: Chronicles #2)

Any time they have sex. every credit card in the mansion ends up demagnetized. (X-Men: Chronicles #2)

TFW canon sticks an OTP in your OT3. (X-Men: Chronicles #2)

Seriously, HOW? (X-Men: Chronicles #2)

NEXT EPISODE: Somehow, Summers family reunions get even worse.

288 – Cape Citadel Remix

March 15, 2020 Jay 20 comments

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In which Magneto is a drama llama in any universe (but a remarkably decent parent in at least one); the soap opera hits the Age of Apocalypse; Weapon X is a man made of red flags; Gambit has an OT3; the better man wins; some blanks are better left unfilled; and we would probably not fare too well on Earth-295.

X-PLAINED:

The other Magnus
Synchronicity
Earth-295 (more) (again)
X-Men Chronicles #1-2
Selective backstory
Magneto’s hair
Wundagore Mountain
Aesthetics of the Age of Apocalypse
The X-Men of Earth-295
Magneto’s pedagogy
More miscellaneous horsemen
Weapon X (Logan)
Cape Citadel, revisited
The death of the Scarlet Witch
Disaster Bisexual Gambit
Wolverine (but not that one)
Punks who may or may not also be scrimshanders
Emotionally well-adjusted Quicksilver
Further miracles of magnetism
The narrative power of evocation
Age of Somebody Else
Jay and Miles of Earth-295

NEXT EPISODE: Summers Family Reunions somehow get even worse.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 287 – Welcome to the Age of Apocalypse

March 8, 2020 Jay 6 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Peter Nguyen updated the show cover art for the glammest timeline!

Not your mama’s X-Men (unless she’s from Earth-295). (X-Men: Alpha)

Clearly in Earth-295 they didn’t reschedule this year’s ECCC. (X-Men: Alpha)

All-New, All-Glam! (X-Men: Alpha)

Ouch. (X-Men: Alpha)

Magneto’s edging awfully close to moppethood here. (X-Men: Alpha)

It’s been a rough timeline for Bishop. (X-Men: Alpha)

Meet the New Beast, somewhat different from the Old Beast. (X-Men: Alpha)

Still ABD, though. (X-Men: Alpha)

The hair is definitely better than the outfit. (X-Men: Alpha)

You absolutely have not. (X-Men: Alpha)

The Weimar Republic of Apocalypse. (X-Men: Alpha)

That’s not… y’know, never mind. (X-Men: Alpha)

WE HAVE QUESTIONS. (X-Men: Alpha)

Heh. “Truant officer of the damned.” (X-Men: Alpha)

His forearms are really weird, right? Or is that just me? (X-Men: Alpha)

The Human Council! (X-Men: Alpha)

Her hair is so good! (X-Men: Alpha)

I really want to edit this with all the most potentially embarrassing moments of Magneto’s 616 life. (X-Men: Alpha)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (X-Men: Alpha)

NEXT EPISODE: Previously on Earth-295…

LINKS & FURTHER UNIVERSES:

Guest X-Pert Logan Bonner DM’d our tabletop X-games in Giant-Size Special #2 and Giant-Size Special #4!

287 – Welcome to the Age of Apocalypse

March 8, 2020 Jay 29 comments

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In which we enter the Age of Apocalypse!

X-PLAINED:

One way to solve a problem
The story so far
Earth-295
X-Men: Alpha
Age of Apocalypse Collector’s Preview
What makes Age of Apocalypse a surprisingly good jumping-on point to the X-Men
The story so far
AoA vs. the Clone Saga
An Age of Apocalypse that might have been
AoA vs. Earth Askani
The X-Men of Earth-295
Fashion motifs
A dubious hairstyle
Facial tattoos
Wild Child
Blink (but a different Blink)
Morph
Character designs as storytelling
Baby Charles
Magic of magnetism
Dark Beast
The Prelates Summers
The Horsemen of Earth-295
The Bobby Newport of the Age of Apocalypse
Heaven
The Human Council
What’s coming
Characters we’d like to retroactively import to AoA
Tabletop X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Previously on Earth-295…

Special thanks to Logan Bonner for the X-Men roleplaying assist!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 274 – The Red Shoe Prophecies

November 24, 2019 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here!

LINKS & FURTHER RECORDINGS:

Read Chris Eddleman and Robert Secundus’s X-Annotations at Xavier Files and Polygon!
Follow Chris on Twitter here!
Listen to Chrises on Infinite Earths…
…and follow them on Twitter!

274 – The Red Shoe Prophecies (feat. Chris Eddleman)

November 24, 2019 Jay 16 comments

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In which Chris Eddleman joins us for a close look at House of X and Powers of X; Doug Ramsey is highly relevant; resurrection is problematic in a universe with a documented afterlife; there is no reasonable in-continuity justification for the lack of trans Marvel characters; and your OT3 is canon.

X-PLAINED:

The Phalanx (more) (again) (retconned)
House of X
Powers of X
Krakoa (more) (again) (retconned)
Moira MacTaggert (retconned)
Bar Sinister
Sinister Secrets
Portentous red shoes
The Man-Machine Ascendancy
Chimeras
North
Cardinal
Rasputin
Homo Novissima
Transhumanism in the Marvel Universe
The metaphysics of Krakoan resurrection
The Five
The true nature of Goldballs’ powers
Trans representation and its absence
Retroactive foreshadowing

NEXT EPISODE: Still not quite Generation X

CORRECTION: The story Jay referred to as “Everything Burns” is in fact titled “Time Runs Out,” although a good many things do burn over its course.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 273 – The Back-End Creep

November 17, 2019 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Ouch. (Wolverine #85)

Do you think Cable got there early and then waited for someone to say his name so he could make a dramatic entrance? (Wolverine #85)

here is your large adult son (Wolverine #85)

Aw, man, right in the feels. (Wolverine #85)

And again. (Wolverine #85)

I like this cover more than it probably deserves. (Cable #16)

Lang’s tiny panties might be the weirdest thing about the whole Phalanx situation. (Cable #16)

Well, that happened. (Cable #16)

Cable vs. Derrida. (Cable #16)

He really never learns. (Cable #16)

It’s cute how anyone ever thinks Cameron Hodge is going to accept defeat with grace. (Cable #16)

GET IT? ‘CAUSE HE’S POINTY! (Cable #16)

NEXT EPISODE: Talking House of X and Powers of X with Chris Eddleman!

LINKS & FURTHER CATASTROPHES:

WHOA DANG WE’VE BEEN ON A LOT OF PODCASTS LATELY!
- Miles joined Titan Up the Defense for Tales of the Haunted Disco Barn…
- …and got his Dracula on in Exiled’s Assault on Camelot Eternal!
- Meanwhile, Jay joined the Fantasticast for a look at Karma’s debut!
Did you know that Jay co-wrote a Thor novel? Because that happened. (Lila Cheney is in it, so you know it’s gonna be cool.)

273 – The Back-End Creep (The Phalanx Covenant, Part 3 of 3)

November 17, 2019 Jay 10 comments

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In which we have been on All the Podcasts; Full Shred Thrash is easier to say that it sounds; the Phalanx uses dial-up; Cable is a very large man; Larry Hama writes excellent banter; Cyclops has been progressively desensitized to plane crashes; Cameron Hodge is never graceful in defeat; and Final Sanction is actually about family.

X-PLAINED:

Mithras
A large number of guest appearances
Thor: Metal Gods
The Phalanx Covenant so far
Full Shred Thrash
Adam Kubert
Wolverine #85
Cable #16
Gorp, Waldo, and Apache
Popping silk
A Summers family reunion
Jean and Nathan
Jean Grey’s astral form
Genetics
Several airplanes
Mountain climbing
Gelatinous yahoos
Several impermanent deaths
Pregnant X-team members
Outside references to the X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: House of X, feat. Chris Eddleman

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 254 – Carry Each Other

June 30, 2019 Miles 5 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

All these years, Miles thought he was quoting Jean Grey, but it turned out to be Oscar Wilde. AS USUAL. (X-Men: The Wedding Album)

“Dammit, Logan never made me talk about feelings!” (X-Men: The Wedding Album)

Green ain’t your color anyway, kid. (X-Men: The Wedding Album)

I love every aspect of this segment except for every aspect of its format. Except the Jubilee silhouette at the top, that part’s pretty cool. (X-Men: The Wedding Album)