Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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162 – Naked In Canada

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which almost everyone is better than Romulus; Barry Windsor-Smith continues to draw the best naked X-Men; Jay has strong feelings about Wolverine’s origins; Miles still hasn’t seen The Prisoner; when in doubt, it’s probably Kang the Conqueror and/or Mystique; we remain unqualified to give bear-fighting advice; you should not hide out in a nuclear reactor; and the Coffee-a-Go-Go has probably been turned into a new-wave sushi bar or something.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Professor (Truett Hudson)
  • Romulus
  • Jay & Miles at Rose City Comic Con
  • Marvel Comics Presents #72-84
  • “Weapon X”
  • Backstory attrition
  • A really good opening montage
  • Some very effective use of color
  • Healing hair
  • The original villain behind Weapon X
  • A retconned origin of Wolverine’s claws
  • Dr. Abraham Cornelius
  • Carol Hines
  • Terry Gilliam’s Weapon X
  • Audio vs. text-based mind control
  • An action figure in dubious taste
  • The Milgram Experiment
  • An adaptation we’d like to see
  • A bad place to hide
  • Subsequent “Weapon X” retcons
  • How Cyclops’s powers have (and haven’t) developed
  • Jay’s general failure at X-tourism

NEXT WEEK: More MCP, featuring “The Retribution Affair” and “God’s Country”!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 158 – No Focus, Less Direction

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
“Oh, like THAT’s a big deal or something.” (Uncanny X-Men #273)
That’s a lot of X-Men. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
Bobby, you incorrigible scamp! Way to EXPLODE THE PIPES IN THE SOLE BATHROOM SHARED BY EIGHTEEN PEOPLE. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
The original creative teams will be played by Storm in this panel. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
Awk-ward. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
Telekinetics don’t need shower curtains. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
We unironically adore this ridiculous pair of panels. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
This is a lot creepier if you remember that the Shadow King took over Jean permanently in one of the earths Excalibur visited… (Uncanny X-Men #273)
Meanwhile, in the sexy, sexy Savage Land… (Uncanny X-Men #274)
Between the art and the cascade of dramatic Magneto captions, this splash kinda encapsulates the whole arc. (Uncanny X-Men #274)
Whoa. (Uncanny X-Men #274)
To be fair, that was always a really iffy battle tactic. (Uncanny X-Men #274)
“Also, am I imagining the sudden switch to romance comic framing?” (Uncanny X-Men #274)
No one gets dressed more dramatically than Magneto. (Uncanny X-Men #274)
Zaladane: boring as hell, but damn does she know how to dress! (Uncanny X-Men #274)
That’s prudent, I suppose, for a certain value of the term. (Uncanny X-Men #274)
Please note that:
A) Ka-Zar is calling Rogue “Red” despite the fact that her hair is clearly brown.
B) A mostly-naked man and his tiger buddy are clearly not REMOTELY the weirdest things those S.H.I.E.L.D. troops have shared a transport with.
(Uncanny X-Men #275)
It sure is 1991. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Every goddamn time. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Where’s an editorial footnote when you actually need one? (Oh, fine, I’ll do it: See Classic X-Men #12 and #19, respectively! -Jaded Jay) (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Well, that’s convenient timing! (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Murder is negotiable, but frontal nudity? NEVER. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
NEXT WEEK: The end of New Mutants!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING
 

158 – No Focus, Less Direction

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

 

In which we return triumphant from hiatus; it’s still always Inferno in here; no one should ever under any circumstances date Cameron Hodge; Kenneth is a fundamentally hilarious name; Magneto’s family gets retconned to death; Pterosaurs are still the absolute worst; and Magik totally deserves a sidekick.

X-PLAINED:

  • Ka-Zar’s real name
  • Shanna the She-Devil
  • Our new production set-up
  • What we did on our summer vacations
  • Previously on X-Men
  • Further limits of the mutant metaphor
  • Uncanny X-Men #273-275
  • A crisis of leadership
  • A comic that is a metaphor that is also a comic
  • Cable’s OkCupid profile
  • Changing creative dynamics on the X-line
  • Archangel’s middle name
  • Gambit vs. Wolverine
  • Censorship Steam
  • The protean X-bathroom
  • Magneto’s retconned family
  • Colonel Semyanov
  • A perhaps ill-conceived team-up
  • The Self-Styled Mistress of Magnetism
  • Some remarkably lucky timing
  • The semantics of heel turns
  • Gender and sidekicks
  • Mr. Sinister’s powers

NEXT EPISODE: The end of New Mutants!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 157 – Melted to Slag

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!
I’m trying to imagine the Punisher in a bunch of different man-on-the-street segments, and it’s never not funny. (Uncanny X-Men #272)
Dramatis Personae and their dramatic wigs. (Uncanny X-Men #272)
Oh, dear. (Uncanny X-Men #272)
“Also, Nightcrawler had a ghost friend briefly.” (Uncanny X-Men #272)
One of Hodge’s more pronounced Mojo moments. (Uncanny X-Men #272)
Okay, that’s legitimately impressive. (Uncanny X-Men #272)
[Insert Rocketeer reference here.] (Uncanny X-Men #272)
MIND, SPIRIT, and BODY! (Uncanny X-Men #272)
Seriously, though, how is Wolverine’s mask staying on? Discuss. (New Mutants #97)
‘Kay. (New Mutants #97)
Zowie! (New Mutants #97)
Scary Rahne is so good. (New Mutants #97)
“Topless Havok will lead us to victory!” (X-Factor #62)
Included for scale, mostly. (X-Factor #62)
Neither of you deserve her. (X-Factor #62)
Wonder Twins Powers, go! (X-Factor #62)
Damn, that’s satisfying. (X-Factor #62)
That, too. (X-Factor #62)
Spoiler: It’s the second one. (X-Factor #62)
NEXT EPISODE: Jay and Miles take a three-month hiatus. See you in August!

157 – Melted to Slag

46 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

In which the X-Tinction Agenda reaches its Return of the Jedi; Wolverine is a weaponized nuisance; HR would like a word with Gambit; Havok gets framed; Cameron Hodge is the great unifier; Genosha is revolting; you don’t get to make a threatening speech about someone else’s powers; Jean Grey is tired of your bullshit; and Jay and Miles may or may not dive into the Siege Perilous!

X-PLAINED:

  • The Law of Conservation of Plot Elements
  • Uncanny X-Men #272
  • New Mutants #97
  • X-Factor #62
  • The Story So Far
  • Glasses fashions in comics
  • The difference between Batman and the Punisher
  • How to tell that something has gone terribly wrong
  • Acceptable pants
  • Some really sketchy judicial process
  • A ruse
  • Several retcons concerning Wolverine
  • Consequence-free impaling
  • Chekhov’s genetic engineering
  • Louise Simonson’s final issue of New Mutants
  • The relative durability of mutants
  • A number of prescient threats
  • This one time Jay and Miles got paid to throw a bunch of printers down a flight of stairs
  • Summers Brothers team-ups
  • A very cathartic fight
  • Thoughts on books as physical artifacts and collecting comics
  • Places to jump into long X-series on Marvel Unlimited
  • Our plans for the hiatus

THE PODCAST WILL BE ON HIATUS DURING MAY, JUNE, AND JULY, 2017! SEE YOU IN AUGUST!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 156 – Genosha Strikes Back

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!
Just in case you’ve forgotten since last week! (Uncanny X-Men #271)
Here, have some New Mutants, while we’re at it. (Uncanny X-Men #271)
The Technicolor Knight Returns! (Uncanny X-Men #271)
When even Evil!Sexy Moira has better scientific ethics than you, you’ve got some thinking to do, Moreau. (Uncanny X-Men #271)
“I mean, I know I played a central role in subjugating an entire people and subjecting them to unspeakable horrors, but sometimes I felt kinda bad about it!” (Uncanny X-Men #271)
She’s not wrong, dude. (Uncanny X-Men #271)
Awk-ward. (Uncanny X-Men #271)
Ahhh, THERE it is! (Uncanny X-Men #271)
Spoiler: Nah. (Uncanny X-Men #271)
Liefeld kick! Take a drink! (New Mutants #96)
“Also can I draw on her face with a sharpie?” (New Mutants #96)
When threatened, the wild Jubilee will fan out her tail in a display meant to intimidate predators. (New Mutants #96)
Jean’s face, tho. “Ugh, AGAIN.” (X-Factor #61)
Because we never get tired of those dramatis personae pages. (X-Factor #61)
Bogdanove’s Hodge really is the best Hodge. (X-Factor #61)
I’m pretty sure this is the first hint we’ve gotten at Cable’s mutant powers. (Based on eventually-established continuity, he should be dying of the T-O virus right now, but that wouldn’t be written in until much later.) (X-Factor #61)
These nerds. (X-Factor #61)
I wonder what’s in Xavier’s telepathically-derived files! (X-Factor #61)
That Charles Xavier keeps detailed files on which of his students want to bang each other is the least surprising thing I’ve read in my life. (X-Factor #61)
“I mean, except for the chokehold part! (X-Factor #61)
NEXT EPISODE: Revenge of the return of the X-Men!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

156 – Genosha Strikes Back

28 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

In which we hit the Empire Strikes Back of X-Tinction Agenda; it’s hard to be Laura Kinney; the psychic knife makes its debut; Evil!Sexy Moira retains some moral high ground; if your society is built on slavery, your society deserves to crumble; words mean things; Havok would be a terrible housecat; the mutants do not have the patent on stupidity; the opposite of blades is cotton; we give Cameron Hodge’s severed head a pep talk; and Cyclops goes full Peralta.

X-PLAINED:

  • Uncanny X-Men #271, New Mutants #96, X-Factor #61
  • Laura Kinney’s brief babysitting career
  • Our upcoming hiatus
  • Dramatis personae
  • A figurative battering ram
  • Focused totality
  • Best insults of the 1990s
  • A debate
  • Ethics of rhetoric
  • Housecat Havok
  • Skittering
  • Mutate numbering systems
  • The Prisoner vs. Les Miserables
  • The slow disintegration of reality as we know it
  • Sneaking with Cable
  • A singularly anticlimactic cover
  • A lushly illustrated report
  • Increasingly petty revenge
  • S.H.I.E.L.D.’s most advanced bald cap
  • A rising storm
  • Art teams
  • What we’d like to see out of an X-Men cinematic reboot

NEXT EPISODE: Return of the Revenge of the X-Men

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 155

8 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!
“I HATE THIS SHIRT!” (X-Men #270)
X-Men… (X-Men #270)
…and New Mutants. (Not pictured: X-Factor.) (X-Men #270)
Look, dude, I am PRETTY SURE they have schedules in the future and you’re just being a dick. (X-Men #270)
Strong Guy FTW! (X-Men #270)
The X-Men, summed up in a single perfect panel. (X-Men #270)
“It’s impossible! Unless there was an unscrupulous redhead, or I guess if he got bored…” (X-Men #270)
Fortunately, the Genoshans were able to outfit them with strategically placed shadows and thought balloons. (New Mutants #95)
THAT’S NOT REASSURING. (New Mutants #95)
My first kiss was basically exactly like this. (New Mutants #95)
Well, then. (New Mutants #95)
The weirdly anticlimactic death of Warlock. (New Mutants #95)
In the land of Genosha… and Manhattan… and some random airstrip… and, look, they use this basic plotline a lot. (X-Factor #60)
Ah, THAT’S the Hodge we know and love! (X-Factor #60)
“Son, do you have a license for that esoteric paraphernalia?” (X-Factor #60)
Boom Boom’s dad is a jerk. (X-Factor #60)
Awwww, they’re learning! (X-Factor #60)
You’d think they’d eventually wise up and get clothes resistant to their own and each other’s powers, but, no. (X-Factor #60)
This is just delightful. (X-Factor #60)
Scott, that’s not how you–you know what? Never mind. (X-Factor #60)
I know they hadn’t been retconned to be father and son yet, but this is some great accidental foreshadowing all the same. (X-Factor #60)
NEXT EPISODE: This asshole, again.

LINKS & FURTHER READING

155 – X-Tinction Event

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Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

In which the X-Tinction Agenda begins in earnest; Jim Lee rocks our world; Cable doesn’t need any Mickey-Mouse schedules; Jean Grey is not paid by the word; Havok makes a heel turn; Boom Boom’s pretext of self-interest fools no one; Cameron Hodge is STILL the worst; and Jay and Miles make an announcement.

X-PLAINED:

  • Warlock across the multiverse
  • Uncanny X-Men #270, New Mutants #95, X-Factor #60
  • X-Tinction Agenda
  • The first modern crossover
  • The creative state of the X-line
  • Limitations of Marvel Unlimited
  • Dramatis Personae
  • Mickey-Mouse schedules
  • The X-Men, who do not die the old-fashioned way
  • One-way nude teleportation
  • Magistrate Summers
  • The return of Cameron Hodge’s angry severed head
  • Wipeout (again)
  • Mutates
  • The death of Warlock
  • The esoteric paraphernalia of war
  • Silver Age misogyny
  • What we’d do differently if we introduced the X-Men in 2017
  • Our upcoming hiatus

NEXT EPISODE: It gets worse.

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

152 – Ghosts of Future Present

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Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

In which Franklin Richards makes everything more complicated; Reed Richards is a terrible parent; Days of Future Present is a surprisingly good ghost story; Valeria Richards is awesome (but does not appear in this crossover); everyone’s got hounds these days; Banshee is your sad cyborg dad; Phoenix has a lot of feelings; and X-Factor once again manages to up the ante for child endangerment.

X-PLAINED:

  • Nightcrawler’s brief clerical career
  • Days of Future Present
  • Annuals, in general
  • Some extraordinarily specific Namor headcanon
  • Fantastic Four Annual #23
  • New Mutants Annual #6
  • X-Factor Annual #5
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #14
  • Franklin Richards
  • Several statuses quo
  • The reproductive potential of Doombots
  • Ms. Marvel (Sharon Ventura)
  • Ahab
  • A Code Red Time Emergency
  • One of Jay’s dream pitches
  • Your sad cyborg dad
  • The worst tea party
  • One hell of a kiss
  • Robocop vs. Terminator

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur gets eclectic!

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)