Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: logan

As Mentioned in Episode 177 – The Less You Know

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Luckily for Terrence, the actual X-Men were ALSO lurking by the playground! (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)
“Look, to be honest, several of us are DEFINITELY not trustworthy.” (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)
“Also, would you say that your kidneys are in good condition?” (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)
BEAST, NO. (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)
Gambit is definitely the Least Safe X-Man. (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)
So, that’s a thing that exists. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
Circle of Death time is the best time! (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
Evolution in action. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
I absolutely do not believe that you did not see anyone unusual at a state fair. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
They’re so bad at not being menacing. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
“He sees you forever and ever, Alan!” (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
This panel is amazing. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
“Let us never speak of today again.” (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
The contents of one of the greatest minds on Earth. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
This is a fundamentally self-defeating activity page, and also a really boring connect-the-dots puzzle. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
Let’s just assume that it’s a slow news day. (Smokescreen)
Centaur? Immortal Iron Fist? WHY NOT BOTH? (Smokescreen)
Kids can’t resist a plaid vest. (Smokescreen)
“So… what you’re basically saying is that he’s a teenager?” (Smokescreen)
She still gets taken out like a chump, though. (Smokescreen)
“Hey, wanna see some of his shrink’s notes, while we’re grossly violating his privacy?” (Smokescreen)
MARK TRAIL, NO! (Smokescreen)
oh my god look at this asshole (Smokescreen)
“Tell me, Bret, how much do you know about the migratory patterns of mallard ducks?” (Smokescreen)
That is certainly one way to do a thing. (Smokescreen)
NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special!

FURTHER READING:

  • We don’t know for sure that The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas was heavily influenced by Peter Shaffer’s Equus; but we also don’t know that it wasn’t.

177 – The Less You Know

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we discuss several Very Special Issues; the real cautionary tale is not to trust Hank McCoy; horses are vehicles of lies and heartbreak; the X-Men shill for a state fair; whatever you’re doing, Cyclops is here to stop you; smoking is a gateway to some really weird vices; and we want YOU to design the latest X-Men PSA!

X-PLAINED:

  • The alternate-timeline terrible choices of Hank McCoy
  • Our wholly unfounded theories about Spongebob Squarepants
  • Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men
  • VHS tapes
  • Blockbuster KidPrint
  • Mariano Nicieza
  • Some Fundamental Problems With Superhero PSAs
  • A man who may or may not be D-Man
  • Terrence
  • Why Cable should deliver more PSAs
  • Why D.A.R.E. doesn’t work
  • Varying coherent cautionary tales
  • The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas
  • A tragic lack of carnies
  • Danny the centaur and his very intense feelings about horses
  • Several exciting attractions at the State Fair of Texas
  • Big Tex
  • Activities
  • Smokescreen
  • Bret Jackson
  • Some of the lesser-known danger of smoking
  • Whether Danny Rand can turn into a centaur
  • Hanging out and other gateways to delinquency
  • The South Side Social Club
  • Jake
  • Etiquette of following teenagers around
  • A villainous plan so ineffective that it’s actually kind of sad
  • X-Men you should hire for your PSAs
  • Our thoughts on the Disney/Fox merger
  • Where to find Bloodstorm
  • Baby Jumping

NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special!

LISTENER CHALLENGE: Send your X-Men PSAs to [email protected] with the subject PSA by December 27!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 176 – My Flashback With Andre

8 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
This guyyyyyyyyy! (Wolverine #48)
JUBILEE, NO. God, she’s not even wearing any safety gear. (Wolverine #48)
That, Jubilee, is a Lotus 7. Your mentor’s car. Not as clumsy or overwrought as a DeLorean. An elegant media reference… for a more civilized age. (Wolverine #48)
THAT IS A TERRIBLE WAY TO SHOW SOMEONE THE GUN YOU FOUND. (Wolverine #48)
Actually, Jubilee, Wolverine is 100% in the right here. (Wolverine #48)
No one should ever make this show under any circumstances. (Wolverine #48)
Spoiler: No funky butts are in fact dispensated. (Wolverine #48)
Toldja! It’s Lee Harvey Oswald and Jack Ruby! (Wolverine #49)
WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST WRITE HER NAME FIRST? IT WOULD HAVE FIT! (Wolverine #49)
The calendar is a little silly, but it’s also an incredibly eerie, cool detail. (Wolverine #49)
“I am not a number! I am a free man!” (Wolverine #49)
Sure, it’s a gimmick; but it’s a cool gimmick! (Wolverine #50)
LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL, RIDICULOUS BASTARD AND HIS BEAUTIFUL, RIDICULOUS MOTORCYCLE. (Wolverine #50)
In Hines’s defense, Canada-616 is absolutely terrible. (Wolverine #50)
…and you, in turn, watch the Hydra operatives; as the NSA watches you; and… (Wolverine #50)
I take this to mean that somewhere there’s a splinter universe where Wolverine had an idyllic but ultimately tragic dalliance with a giant artichoke. (Wolverine #50)
HOW MANY YEARS HAS THAT PIECE OF CAKE BEEN SITTING THERE? (Wolverine #50)
I like the idea that the BIG SECRET isn’t that they faked his memories but that they had to reuse sets because of budget constraints. (Wolverine #50)
Sure you are, buddy. (Wolverine #50)
TWIST! (Wolverine #50)
I appreciate the implication that the ultimate horror is a high school prom. (Wolverine #50)
Aw, Logan. Never change. (Wolverine #50)
NEXT EPISODE: Centaur fight at the State Fair (and other educational adventures)!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING

176 – My Flashback With Andre

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we were on public radio; it’s probably best just to ignore Romulus; Miles still hasn’t seen the Prisoner and should be very ashamed of himself; toy licensing is the stuff of nightmares; you can upgrade your bloodbath for an additional $1.25; Jay may or may not have family ties to Weapon X; we are suckers for die-cut covers; Wolverine knows how to commit to a gag; and you have some pretty remarkable dreams.

X-PLAINED:

  • Wolverine’s CIA contacts
  • Murder-related birthday traditions
  • Wolverine #48-50
  • The ship Righteous Indignation and the ‘ship Righteous Indignation
  • Wolverine size creep
  • Injudicious footwear
  • Serial sidekicks
  • Miles’s continual failure to watch The Prisoner
  • The Summers Crash model of flashbacks
  • Panties and/or grenades
  • Several varyingly reliable flashbacks
  • How memory works
  • Mastodon
  • Andre
  • How memory doesn’t really work
  • Kids’ toy licensing
  • Quasimodo’s hangout
  • Women in Refrigerators
  • Secret agent skills
  • The Dalton school of argument
  • A legitimately cool cover gimmick
  • Wolverine vs. the Helicarrier
  • Adamantium handicrafts
  • Shiva (but not that one)
  • Silver Fox (again) (kind of)
  • A cataclysmic memory backlash
  • Antarctic X-Hijinks
  • Jay & Miles’s adventures in YOUR DREAMS

NEXT EPISODE: Centaurs of Texas

CORRECTION: Kyle Rayner’s girlfriend was the source of the Women In Refrigerator’s trope–not Hal Jordan’s, as Jay stated in this episode.

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

173 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 2

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Abs-lantis will not be denied; “slightly traumatized” is basically the default state of Xavier’s original students; we pick up the slack for Nicieza; Banshee and Moira MacTaggert probably have an active and varied love life; Xavier miscounts the X-Men; we look back over the Claremont/Simonson era of the X-Universe; and Jay makes a case for the re-resurrection of Jean Grey.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Men: Red
  • Namor’s beard
  • The conclusion of the Muir Island Saga
  • Uncanny X-Men #280
  • X-Factor #70.
  • Cool orange spacesuits that make you immune to telepathy
  • Off-brand Magneto hats
  • Literary terrors of our childhoods
  • Agents DeMarco & Heacock (R.I.P.)
  • Casual use of nuclear weaponry
  • The cavalry
  • The end of the Shadow King
  • The most dysfunctional timeline
  • Uncanny X-Men #200-278
  • The case for an eclectic X-Universe
  • X-Campus
  • Resurrections, and when they do and don’t work

NEXT EPISODE: Ed Piskor’s Grand Design

The visual companion to this episode will be up sometime before the end of 2017, by which point Jay’s lungs will hopefully be working again. Yay?

(Seriously, though, fuck this cold. Fuck this cold so much.)

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 172 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 1

One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
But what if his dialogue also had its OWN tiny captions? (Uncanny X-Men #278)
“And that one dude from Final Fight will help me!” (Uncanny X-Men #278)
But whom could this mysterious stranger be? (Uncanny X-Men #278)
LOOK AT THIS EVIL FASHION QUEEN (Uncanny X-Men #278)
There is nothing okay happening here. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
Here, on the other hand, everything is beautiful and nothing hurts. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
That’s not… I mean… you know what? Never mind. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Uncanny X-Men #278)
Honestly, there are so many answers to that question. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
His other power is flashbacks. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
And with that, Chris Claremont flew off into space, to explore new horizons. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Say what you want about her morals; Evil Rogue has a pretty rad costume. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
OH, HELL, YEAH! (Uncanny X-Men #279)
X-Factor’s New Wave era was brief but distinctive. (X-Factor #69)
It really never gets any more okay, does it? (No.) (X-Factor #69)
Why does Reisz suddenly have red hair? WHO KNOWS? IT’S A MYSTERY! (X-Factor #69)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (X-Factor #69)
The Art of War involves some remarkably specific ruminations on spandex. (X-Factor #69)
Wait for it… (X-Factor #69)
YES! (X-Factor #69)
Also 2017 in a nutshell. (X-Factor #69)
WELL, THAT CAN’T BE GOOD. (X-Factor #69)
NEXT EPISODE: Don’t smoke, kids. (Also, the Muir Island Saga concludes.)

LINKS & FURTHER READING

 

172 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 1

48 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which you are probably more familiar with this show than Jay and Miles are; Paul Smith makes good art; the Shadow King is so extra that his narration has its own narration; Evil Sexy Moira is a fashion queen; there are absolutely no circumstances in which it is appropriate to use the phrase “fist-o-rama”; Legion gets possessed; and we know absolutely nothing about Pokémon.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • Universes where people are other people
  • What Miles thought of Thor: Ragnorok (spoiler-free)
  • The Muir Island Saga (Part 1)
  • Uncanny X-Men #278-279
  • X-Factor #69
  • Teflon continuity
  • Our (lack of) favorite episodes of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
  • The Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men wiki
  • An alternate timeline
  • Corpse telepathy
  • A diabolical plan, sort of
  • Topicality
  • Theft
  • Sci-Fi Warlord Moira MacTaggert
  • Improbable aerodynamics
  • The greatest thing
  • The death of Peter Nicholas
  • The uncanny genital valley
  • Interesting ways to expand Cyclops’s powers
  • X-Pokémon

NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga concludes!

ART CHALLENGE: Send us your horrifying X-Pokémon! (Note: We were not kidding when we said that we know absolutely nothing about Pokémon, which means that we will probably believe anything you tell us about canon. Have fun!)

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 165 – Pop Rocks

5 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Triple gatefold? That’s a lot of gatefold! (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Oh, man, the Starjammers are so cool, even when they’re evil alien duplicates. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
And that was the end of Wolverine, forever. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Not gonna lie: there are a LOT of splash pages and spreads in this visual companion. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
So many reasons, Banshee. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
I mean, technically Wolverine just won back her throne, but, whatever. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Look at all those fancy X-Men! (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Wolverine parties like a Robert E. Howard protagonist. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
I know this is supposed to be sinister, but it’s also kind of hilarious. (You gotta imagine the YOINK SFX in the second panel.) (Uncanny X-Men #275)
PROFESSOR XAVIER IS A JERK! (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Another two-page spread? DON’T MIND IF I DO! (Uncanny X-Men #276)
Pop rocks! (Uncanny X-Men #276)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Uncanny X-Men #276)
I want to watch this movie. (Uncanny X-Men #276)
No, but seriously: Professor Xavier is a jerk. (Uncanny X-Men #276)
Well, that got weird. Weirder. (Uncanny X-Men #276)
Star Trek reference! Take a drink! Wait, no, that’s not a podcast game, that’s just Jay’s reading game. (Uncanny X-Men #276)
Yep, it’s another two-page spread. Don’t blame us–blame Jim Lee! (Uncanny X-Men #277)
…well, that explains some things. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
Oh, snap! (Uncanny X-Men #277)
Ooh, callback! Very clever, Gambit. Kinda creepy, but, y’know, clever. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
Even when he’s a skrull, it’s pretty satisfying to watch Charles Xavier get punched. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
VAMP! (Uncanny X-Men #277)
NEXT EPISODE: Stealth at all times.

165 – Pop Rocks

41 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

 

In which Charles Xavier returns to the pages of Uncanny X-Men; Storm is out of our league forever; Miles would be a terrible president; Psylocke picks up the frequent-shower torch; everyone gets possessed; Gambit acts more Sinister than he is; and our NYCC panel is definitely on THURSDAY, not Friday.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Pantheon
  • Uncanny X-Men #275-277
  • Dinosaurs in space
  • A very impressive cover
  • Several kinds of manacle
  • Small children we’d like to see beat up Gladiator
  • Varying levels of Evil Charles Xavier
  • A nefarious plan
  • Double death
  • FailCat Logan
  • Two bad, beautiful babes with really big guns
  • Some excellent sound effects
  • Awesome space fights
  • Shopping with Deathbird
  • Mall vs. maul
  • X-archenemies

NEXT EPISODE: The Kings of Pain!

NOTE: Seriously, the NYCC Panel is on THURSDAY. Not Friday. THURSDAY. It’s official now.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 162 – Naked in Canada

7 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Come to our RCCC party and meetup! Details here!
This story looks cheerful! (Marvel Comics Presents #72)
Oho, I see what you did, there, Barry Windsor-Smith! (Marvel Comics Presents #72)
(The indefinite article, not Ororo Munroe.) (Marvel Comics Presents #72)
“Why did you resign?” (Marvel Comics Presents #73)
That palette! (Marvel Comics Presents #73)
The Professor is a huge jerk. (Marvel Comics Presents #74)
Wolverine’s self-image is… somewhat alarming. (Marvel Comics Presents #76)
Terrific use of sound effects, either way. (Marvel Comics Presents #77)
Hell, as designed by Lisa Frank. (Marvel Comics Presents #78)
That linework, though! (Marvel Comics Presents #79)
I know it’s supposed to be an alarm, but I can’t shake the idea that Wolverine is just yelling “AAOOOGAH” over and over. (Marvel Comics Presents #80)
Seriously, what an asshole. (Marvel Comics Presents #81)
Well, shit. (Marvel Comics Presents #82)
Even a functionally feral Wolverine knows that ninjas can’t catch you if you’re on fire! (Marvel Comics Presents #83)
This man has literally no redeeming characteristics. (Marvel Comics Presents #83)
Get good and at home, Wolverine, because you’re gonna be spending a lot of time in variations on this scenario. (Marvel Comics Presents #84)
And then, things got weird. Weirder. Differently weird. (Marvel Comics Presents #84)
The twist was the lack of twist that turned out to be the actual twist! (Marvel Comics Presents #84)
I’m still not entirely sure whether this is supposed to have happened for real or not; and that’s why I love this story. (Marvel Comics Presents #84)
THAT. PALETTE. (Marvel Comics Presents #84)
WOW. (Marvel Comics Presents #84)
Next Episode: More MCP, featuring “God’s Country” and “The Retribution Affair”!

LINKS & FURTHER READING