Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: logan

As Mentioned in Episode 199 – Space, Geeks, and Gaveedra Seven

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
It’s weird, but it could be SO MUCH WEIRDER. (X-Men Annual #1)
These two really have their battle banter down to a science. (X-Men Annual #1)
Well, this is awkward in retrospect. (X-Men Annual #1)
Hi, Retrieval Team. (X-Men Annual #1)
Again: I want these characters to be SO MUCH WEIRDER. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #16)
Stop trying to make “bohunk” happen. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #16)
GOOD LORD JOE QUESADA DRAWS A TERRIFYING MOJO (Uncanny X-Men Annual #16)
This comic does not include a countdown of enemies, but if it did, #1 would definitely be condiments. (X-Factor Annual #7)
This actually explains a depressing lot about Mojoworld. (X-Factor Annual #7)
SPIRAL IS SO COOL. (X-Factor Annual #7)
Spiral X-Plains Spiral, Part 1. (X-Factor Annual #7)
Spiral X-Plains Spiral, Part 2. (X-Factor Annual #7)
Okay, getting marginally weirder, but still not quite there. (X-Force Annual #1)
You can tell he’s a big deal now because he wears his hair down. (X-Force Annual #1)
I just realized that the good Spineless Ones are named after Borscht Belt comedians. (X-Force Annual #1)
Behind every Facebook meme about positivity is this panel. (X-Force Annual #1)
Powerpax! (X-Force Annual #1)
Darkchild! (X-Force Annual #1)
Banshee! (X-Force Annual #1)
Cyberlock! (X-Force Annual #1)
Sunspot, but with a mullet! (X-Force Annual #1)
You’d think a guy who grew up on a media-saturated world would know better than to trust an administrator in a fancy hat. (X-Force Annual #1)
Kill your television. (X-Force Annual #1)
I feel really good about the fact that Longshot aged into Estelle Getty. (X-Force Annual #1)
Ignore these blueprints; they will never be followed consistently. (X-Men Annual #1)
SELF-FRIEND (X-Men Annual #1)
Remember the good ol’ days, when comics NEVER dabbled in politics or even direct allegory? *snort* (X-Men Annual #1)
“I can also cross over with DC properties, but that’s not really gonna be on the table for a while.” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #16)
Val Cooper’s subconscious is an appropriately frightening place. (X-Factor Annual #7)
NOPE. (X-Factor Annual #7)
Taki! We missed you! (X-Force Annual #1)
We’re only posting one of the many pin-ups; but DANG, it’s a good one. (X-Force Annual #1)
NEXT EPISODE: Louise Simonson!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

199 – Space, Geeks, and Gaveedra Seven

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Shattershot is definitely better than the Cold War; Beast X-plains the X-teams; Cyclops is a tired babysitter; sustenance is not frivolous; Jim Henson is the hero that Mojoworld needs; Shatterstar is not a great head of state; it’s hard to be Val Cooper; and Cable has definitely figured out how to take you (yes, YOU) out.

X-PLAINED:

  • Astra
  • Content-to-story ratio
  • The Mojoverse (more) (again)
  • Longshot
  • Shatterstar (Gaveedra Seven)
  • Spiral (Ricochet Rita)
  • Arize
  • X-Men Annual #1
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #16
  • X-Factor Annual #10
  • X-Force Annual #1
  • A pivotal battle
  • Mujahideen
  • A callback
  • Several denizens of Mojoworld
  • X-Team disambiguation
  • The Death Sponsors
  • A dubious solution to the Kobayashi Maru scenario
  • Whether Arize is a mutant
  • Telepathic favoritism
  • Spiral’s origin story
  • A new regime
  • Earth-84309
  • Powerpax (Frankie Power)
  • Darkchild
  • Cyberlock
  • A metasingularity
  • A large number of back-up features
  • The X-Men’s top ten enemies
  • Amalgam (but not that one)
  • Darick Robertson’s juvenilia
  • The return of Taki
  • The Cable Protocols
  • Brazilian Marvel characters
  • Our feelings about Laura Kinney’s backstory

NEXT EPISODE: Louise Simonson

CORRECTION: BonziBuddy was not released until 1999. We regret the error.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 194 – Brood Trouble in the Big Easy

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Listen to the podcast here.

Cyclops may not have a lot of people skills, but he’s pretty good at boundaries. (X-Men #8)
Last panel of Forge being awful, I promise (for now). (X-Men #8)
Aw, they all posed. (X-Men #8)
Never meet your heroes. (X-Men #8)
Once you see the Pikachu in Psylocke’s swimsuit, you’ll never unsee it. (X-Men #8)
“We have fun, don’t we?” (X-Men #8)
And that’s why you always leave a note! (X-Men #8)
Meet Mrs. Gambit. (X-Men #8)
Trolling law enforcement is one of the subtler perks of being Ghost Rider. (X-Men #8)
“…Lord Byron!” (Ghost Rider #26)
Oh. Him, too, I guess. (Ghost Rider #26)
I mean, yeah, he’s a dick; but this is pretty excessive. (Ghost Rider #26)
The two most dramatic men in New Orleans. (Ghost Rider #26)
TBH, those outfits are pretty understated by Assassins Guild standards. (Ghost Rider #26)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Ghost Rider #26)
I give him some flack, but nobody draws grossed out teenagers like Jim Lee. (X-Men #9)
The inside of Ghost Rider’s mind; and, coincidentally, the cover of his first hit single. (X-Men #9)
(It’s okay. She’ll be back later.) (X-Men #9)
Meanwhile in the upside down… (X-Men #9)
Um, yes. She does. You already know that, Wolverine. (X-Men #9)
X-Men crossovers are pretty hard on guest stars. (X-Men #9)
I’m just gonna leave this here, sans comment. (X-Men #9)
NEXT EPISODE: Mike Mignola’s X-Force!

194 – Brood Trouble in the Big Easy

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In which Ghost Rider has some fairly serious medical issues; you should probably never invite Bishop to a picnic; Gambit’s past catches up with him; it’s always Mardi Gras in Fictional New Orleans; Wolverine is thrilled; and Jay swears a solemn vow.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Tithe
  • The Momentary Princess
  • The T’ieves Guild
  • Why real New Orleans doesn’t have catacombs
  • X-Men #8-9
  • Ghost Rider #26-27
  • The abstract idea of Nicholas Cage
  • Genesis
  • The last of the X-Men
  • A sick burn
  • A picnic
  • Boundaries
  • Bella Donna Boudreaux and her many apostrophes
  • Ghost Rider
  • Psegway
  • Julian Boudreaux
  • How not to respond to a speeding ticket
  • The Bootie Man
  • Horse names vs. katana names
  • Cathartic excess
  • X-holidays
  • Doomsday
  • Good characters from awful events

NEXT EPISODE: The Externals, for our sins

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 183 – Mutant Death Factor

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Listen to the podcast here.

All of those facial expressions are great. (X-Men #4)
Ewwwww. (X-Men #4)
File this one under “references that haven’t aged all that coherently.” (X-Men #4)
She yelled so hard it changed the shape of the panels! (X-Men #4)
These jerks and their delightful wardrobe! (X-Men #4)
Why is he allowed to live there, again? (X-Men #4)
That is… an outfit. (X-Men #4)
You can almost hear the inchoate yelling. (X-Men #5)
Cerebro is officially ridiculous. I mean, more ridiculous than usual. (X-Men #5)
Psylocke, just admit that you were sunbathing. No one will judge you. (X-Men #5)
More Fenris fashions. (X-Men #5)
“We worked really hard to reconcile the continuity between these two titles, and we wanted to make damn sure that you appreciated the effort.” (X-Men #5)
Cyclops was right. (X-Men #5)
That’s actually a really cool way to transition into a flashback. (X-Men #5)
“In addition to a Mutant Death Factor, I come with my own exposition!” (X-Men #6)
Someone’s crossed the X-axis! (X-Men #6)
He’s also got a dark pink tie in some panels. (X-Men #6)
SERIOUSLY WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS HE’S STUCK IN (X-Men #7)
Psylocke is the master of the deadpan plot twist. (X-Men #7)
If you don’t automatically hear this line delivered by Christian Kane as Eliot Spencer, I don’t know what to tell you. (X-Men #7)
Maverick. (X-Men #7)
It’s rough to be Alison Blaire. (X-Men #5)
I unironically love this trio of dramatic poses; and also the fact that I absolutely believe that these characters would pose dramatically before fights. (X-Men #6)
Aw. (X-Men #6)
NEXT EPISODE: Larry Stroman somehow manages to make the MLF look cool. (Also, there’s a Hulk crossover.)

LINKS & FURTHER READING

  • COME SEE US AT EMERALD CITY COMIC CON! We’ll be at T-11 in Artist Alley all weekend; check back here for panel and party details!
  • I’m fairly sure I’ve linked to “Class of ’64” before, but it’s one of the best-developed reimaginings of the X-Men I’ve found, in or out of canon.
  • Unfortunately, R. Orion Martin’s “X-Men of Color” series no longer appears to be online, but you can learn more about it here and here. (Also worth reading: Darryl Ayo’s rebuttal to Martin’s article.)

183 – Mutant Death Factor

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David is on vacation this week! We hope you enjoy this substitute illustration of two gentlemen enjoying each other’s company.

In which Miles is almost caught up on The Gifted (but still hasn’t seen The Prisoner and should be very ashamed of himself); Omega Red is a cool action figure but a boring character; Professor Xavier definitely knows what you did last night; Fenris remains delightfully trashy; Weapon X had an improbably high survival rate; Sabretooth cleans up pretty well; we need to work some new rules for dividing up character voices; the Mojoverse has terrible employee benefits; and mongoose blood will definitely not give you superpowers.

X-PLAINED:

  • Refugees from the Age of Apocalypse
  • Creative use of teleportation
  • X-Modifiers
  • Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con
  • X-Men vol. 2 #4-7
  • The sitcom model of creative logistics
  • One way to bring someone back to life
  • Mutant Death Factor
  • Omega Red (Arkady Gregorivich)
  • Wolverine’s school pictures
  • Gambit’s ponytail and the logistics thereof
  • Sex at the X-Mansion
  • Fenris fashion
  • Ritualistic facepalming
  • Moira MacTaggert’s nightmares
  • Formalwear and motorcycle safety
  • An elegantly choreographed cockblock
  • Retracting tentacle logistics
  • Carbonadium synthesizers
  • Dr. Pepper Twizzlers
  • Ponytails as moral compasses
  • Sabretooth’s excellent taste in formalwear
  • Ornithology
  • Those big, weird tube handcuff things
  • Cyclops and Wolverine’s eventual friendship
  • The return of Longshot
  • What would happen if you gave a human a transfusion of mongoose blood
  • Some X-Cellent fanfiction
  • X-details we’d change

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor Meets the Hulk!

Special thanks to consulting X-Pert and Actual Scientist Dr. Lauriel Earley!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 177 – The Less You Know

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Luckily for Terrence, the actual X-Men were ALSO lurking by the playground! (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)
“Look, to be honest, several of us are DEFINITELY not trustworthy.” (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)
“Also, would you say that your kidneys are in good condition?” (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)
BEAST, NO. (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)
Gambit is definitely the Least Safe X-Man. (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)
So, that’s a thing that exists. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
Circle of Death time is the best time! (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
Evolution in action. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
I absolutely do not believe that you did not see anyone unusual at a state fair. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
They’re so bad at not being menacing. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
“He sees you forever and ever, Alan!” (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
This panel is amazing. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
“Let us never speak of today again.” (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
The contents of one of the greatest minds on Earth. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
This is a fundamentally self-defeating activity page, and also a really boring connect-the-dots puzzle. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
Let’s just assume that it’s a slow news day. (Smokescreen)
Centaur? Immortal Iron Fist? WHY NOT BOTH? (Smokescreen)
Kids can’t resist a plaid vest. (Smokescreen)
“So… what you’re basically saying is that he’s a teenager?” (Smokescreen)
She still gets taken out like a chump, though. (Smokescreen)
“Hey, wanna see some of his shrink’s notes, while we’re grossly violating his privacy?” (Smokescreen)
MARK TRAIL, NO! (Smokescreen)
oh my god look at this asshole (Smokescreen)
“Tell me, Bret, how much do you know about the migratory patterns of mallard ducks?” (Smokescreen)
That is certainly one way to do a thing. (Smokescreen)
NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special!

FURTHER READING:

  • We don’t know for sure that The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas was heavily influenced by Peter Shaffer’s Equus; but we also don’t know that it wasn’t.

177 – The Less You Know

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we discuss several Very Special Issues; the real cautionary tale is not to trust Hank McCoy; horses are vehicles of lies and heartbreak; the X-Men shill for a state fair; whatever you’re doing, Cyclops is here to stop you; smoking is a gateway to some really weird vices; and we want YOU to design the latest X-Men PSA!

X-PLAINED:

  • The alternate-timeline terrible choices of Hank McCoy
  • Our wholly unfounded theories about Spongebob Squarepants
  • Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men
  • VHS tapes
  • Blockbuster KidPrint
  • Mariano Nicieza
  • Some Fundamental Problems With Superhero PSAs
  • A man who may or may not be D-Man
  • Terrence
  • Why Cable should deliver more PSAs
  • Why D.A.R.E. doesn’t work
  • Varying coherent cautionary tales
  • The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas
  • A tragic lack of carnies
  • Danny the centaur and his very intense feelings about horses
  • Several exciting attractions at the State Fair of Texas
  • Big Tex
  • Activities
  • Smokescreen
  • Bret Jackson
  • Some of the lesser-known danger of smoking
  • Whether Danny Rand can turn into a centaur
  • Hanging out and other gateways to delinquency
  • The South Side Social Club
  • Jake
  • Etiquette of following teenagers around
  • A villainous plan so ineffective that it’s actually kind of sad
  • X-Men you should hire for your PSAs
  • Our thoughts on the Disney/Fox merger
  • Where to find Bloodstorm
  • Baby Jumping

NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special!

LISTENER CHALLENGE: Send your X-Men PSAs to [email protected] with the subject PSA by December 27!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 176 – My Flashback With Andre

8 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
This guyyyyyyyyy! (Wolverine #48)
JUBILEE, NO. God, she’s not even wearing any safety gear. (Wolverine #48)
That, Jubilee, is a Lotus 7. Your mentor’s car. Not as clumsy or overwrought as a DeLorean. An elegant media reference… for a more civilized age. (Wolverine #48)
THAT IS A TERRIBLE WAY TO SHOW SOMEONE THE GUN YOU FOUND. (Wolverine #48)
Actually, Jubilee, Wolverine is 100% in the right here. (Wolverine #48)
No one should ever make this show under any circumstances. (Wolverine #48)
Spoiler: No funky butts are in fact dispensated. (Wolverine #48)
Toldja! It’s Lee Harvey Oswald and Jack Ruby! (Wolverine #49)
WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST WRITE HER NAME FIRST? IT WOULD HAVE FIT! (Wolverine #49)
The calendar is a little silly, but it’s also an incredibly eerie, cool detail. (Wolverine #49)
“I am not a number! I am a free man!” (Wolverine #49)
Sure, it’s a gimmick; but it’s a cool gimmick! (Wolverine #50)
LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL, RIDICULOUS BASTARD AND HIS BEAUTIFUL, RIDICULOUS MOTORCYCLE. (Wolverine #50)
In Hines’s defense, Canada-616 is absolutely terrible. (Wolverine #50)
…and you, in turn, watch the Hydra operatives; as the NSA watches you; and… (Wolverine #50)
I take this to mean that somewhere there’s a splinter universe where Wolverine had an idyllic but ultimately tragic dalliance with a giant artichoke. (Wolverine #50)
HOW MANY YEARS HAS THAT PIECE OF CAKE BEEN SITTING THERE? (Wolverine #50)
I like the idea that the BIG SECRET isn’t that they faked his memories but that they had to reuse sets because of budget constraints. (Wolverine #50)
Sure you are, buddy. (Wolverine #50)
TWIST! (Wolverine #50)
I appreciate the implication that the ultimate horror is a high school prom. (Wolverine #50)
Aw, Logan. Never change. (Wolverine #50)
NEXT EPISODE: Centaur fight at the State Fair (and other educational adventures)!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING

176 – My Flashback With Andre

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Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we were on public radio; it’s probably best just to ignore Romulus; Miles still hasn’t seen the Prisoner and should be very ashamed of himself; toy licensing is the stuff of nightmares; you can upgrade your bloodbath for an additional $1.25; Jay may or may not have family ties to Weapon X; we are suckers for die-cut covers; Wolverine knows how to commit to a gag; and you have some pretty remarkable dreams.

X-PLAINED:

  • Wolverine’s CIA contacts
  • Murder-related birthday traditions
  • Wolverine #48-50
  • The ship Righteous Indignation and the ‘ship Righteous Indignation
  • Wolverine size creep
  • Injudicious footwear
  • Serial sidekicks
  • Miles’s continual failure to watch The Prisoner
  • The Summers Crash model of flashbacks
  • Panties and/or grenades
  • Several varyingly reliable flashbacks
  • How memory works
  • Mastodon
  • Andre
  • How memory doesn’t really work
  • Kids’ toy licensing
  • Quasimodo’s hangout
  • Women in Refrigerators
  • Secret agent skills
  • The Dalton school of argument
  • A legitimately cool cover gimmick
  • Wolverine vs. the Helicarrier
  • Adamantium handicrafts
  • Shiva (but not that one)
  • Silver Fox (again) (kind of)
  • A cataclysmic memory backlash
  • Antarctic X-Hijinks
  • Jay & Miles’s adventures in YOUR DREAMS

NEXT EPISODE: Centaurs of Texas

CORRECTION: Kyle Rayner’s girlfriend was the source of the Women In Refrigerator’s trope–not Hal Jordan’s, as Jay stated in this episode.

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)