Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: logan

247 – The Butt-Kick Scale

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Hand probably doesn’t even offer dental; literally everyone is less creepy than the Joker and Harley Quinn; toxic masculinity is Sabretooth’s adamantium; Mark Trail is a wild ride; Wolverine trashes the dress code and gets funky; Larry Hama is your god now; and Sabretooth: Death Hunt scores a solid six on the butt-kick scale.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mark Trail vs. X-Men
  • Sabretooth (Victor Creed)
  • Clones of Sabretooth
  • Birthday traditions
  • Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1-4
  • Ps[i don’t remember; that one guy]
  • Low-context ninjas
  • A somewhat tasteful omission, I guess
  • The glow (and its counterintuitive sound effect)
  • Turbo Sabretooth
  • Tribune (Graydon Creed)
  • Mark Trail
  • Affirmations with Sabretooth
  • “Leni Zauber”
  • Dress codes
  • The butt-kick scale
  • A tearaway tuxedo
  • Dubious grenade handling
  • Parenting with Mystique
  • One thing Wolverine knows
  • The CHK-LIT gun
  • Comics bankers
  • A very qualified recommendation
  • Our preferred versions of Sabretooth’s origin
  • Relative redeemability

NEXT EPISODE: Siena Blaze and the Mystery of the Missing Leprechauns!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 244 – Terminal Nudity

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
You can tell he’s evil because he’s the only assassin who… wears black? (Gambit #1)
“And how is your mustache?!” (Gambit #1)
Wolverine is basically the Mary Worth of the X-Men. (Gambit #1)
…Okay, yeah, I get why he’s kind of cool. (Gambit #1)
You can tell the captions are serious business because of the fake torn edges. (Gambit #1)
It seems weird that the first thing he did was throw his coat over her. That’s weird, right? (Gambit #2)
Maybe the accents skip a generation. (Gambit #2)
They have fun. (Gambit #2)
The Tithe Collector knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men! (Gambit #2)
No, seriously, look at this Shadow-looking dude. (Gambit #2)
Fashion! (Gambit #3)
Well played. (Gambit #3)
I just really love that he changes into THIS for infiltration. (Gambit #3)
Candra got over pants centuries ago. (Gambit #3)
It’s cool that she survives and everything; but, ew. (Gambit #4)
Remy “John Constantine” LeBeau. (Gambit #3)
NEXT EPISODE: Rogue’s turn!

LINKS & FURTHER DRAMA:

  • Jay is writing a thing that may be relevant to your interests in the intersection of Marvel and audio.
  • We first encountered the T’ieves’ Guild in Episode 194 – Brood Trouble in the Big Easy.
  • Go watch Intacto; it’s brilliant.
  • The Thief of Always is basically Clive Barker in Ray Bradbury drag. It’s not going to blow your mind; but it’s a fun read.
  • As a gloomy ’90s teen, Jay was of course very into The Crow; which holds up surprisingly well. It can’t rain all the time!

 

244 – Terminal Nudity

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which X-Men don’t get to take vacations; Jay makes a somewhat belated announcement; sometimes Gambit is legitimately pretty cool; the assassins get a day-glo-up; The Crow holds up surprisingly well; Gambit gets exiled again; and Artie and Leech damn well better get to live happily ever after.

X-PLAINED:

  • Rogue and Gambit’s honeymoon
  • A thing that Jay is working on
  • Brood Trouble in the Big Easy
  • Bella Donna Boudreaux
  • Gambit #1-4
  • The New Orleans trilogy
  • “X-Ternally Yours”
  • The tithe collector
  • Things about which your mama may or may not have warned you
  • Dramatic captions
  • Candra
  • The Thieves’ and Assassins’ Guilds
  • The pact
  • Julian Boudreaux (again)
  • Henri LeBeau and his mustache
  • Critical nudity
  • Terminal nudity
  • Marius Boudreaux
  • Accent inconsistencies
  • Draping
  • Jean Luc LeBeau
  • Treachery most foul
  • (Select elements of) Gamit’s origin story
  • How thieves get kids
  • Gambit as a romantic hero
  • Ungrateful children of the Marvel Universe
  • Petite Chou
  • Clubbing with Gambit
  • Subtlety (for some value of the term)
  • Lifestyles of the rich and immortal
  • The Church of Lost Thieves
  • The Elixir of Life
  • An undersold side effect
  • A very lucky break
  • Artie and Leech’s probable adult lives
  • Villains we’d like to see on the X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Rogue!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 236 – Baggage of Traumas Past

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
THAT’S the image I always remember from this scene. (Wolverine #75)
The inside of Wolverine’s mind is surprisingly derivative. (Wolverine #75)
Throes of the Phoenix Saga… Wolverine #75)
Scott is clearly with me on this reading. (Wolverine #75)
There are a lot of people who would have made more sense than Illyana here. (Wolverine #75)
IN THIS HOUSE WE STAN JEAN GREY. (Wolverine #75)
Aw. (Wolverine #75)
That. Sound. Effect. (Wolverine #75)
One very good day to frame a conversation. (Wolverine #75)
I hate it when I get extra body parts via retcon. (Wolverine #75)
Use as you see fit. (Wolverine #75)
And then, everything got awkward. (Excalibur #71)
How you know something big is going on and/or your sales are flagging. (Excalibur #71)
Professor Xavier is a JERK. (Excalibur #71)
Ouch. (Excalibur #71)
Meanwhile in the B-Plot… (Excalibur #71)
AW. (Excalibur #71)
Aw, man, my heart. (Excalibur #71)
WELL THAT WAS A SURPRISE. (Excalibur #71)
Aw, Piotr. I’d like to say that it gets better for him from here, but… (Excalibur #71)
Has anyone ever rocked a blue-and-gold Phoenix costume? It’s not half bad! (Excalibur #71)
NEXT EPISODE: Time to get X-TREME!

LINKS & FURTHER CLONES:

236 – Baggage of Traumas Past (Fatal Attractions, Part 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Decimation was kind of sketchy; you should definitely come see us in Seattle; Wolverine has a rough day; Colossus has yet another rough day; Excalibur plans for the future; and Fatal Attractions comes to a close.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Professor X got his groove and/or powers back
  • Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con
  • Wolverine #75
  • Excalibur #71
  • Psychic trauma
  • High-stakes references
  • The personal Ragnarok of a shattered soul
  • A really effective sound effect
  • The first day of the rest of Logan’s life
  • Butterflies of the Xavier School
  • Muir Island’s psychiatric ward
  • Medical consent
  • The worst bar, probably
  • Professorial disambiguation
  • What Micromax and Kyluun are probably definitely up to
  • Several variably awkward Grey-Summers family reunions
  • A betrayal
  • Amelia Voght
  • Unuscione
  • Katu
  • The future of Excalibur
  • Proactive superheroism
  • How not to make a White Russian
  • Shadowcat’s recovery post-Mutant Massacre
  • Our etymological destinies

NEXT EPISODE: It’s time to get X-TREME!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 235 – Fatal Extractions

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
If there’s anything I look for in an event anniversary issue, it’s an interrupted funeral. (Uncanny X-Men #304)
Nobody likes Fabian Cortez. (Uncanny X-Men #304)
“Always alone… and always dramatic.” (Uncanny X-Men #304)
Speaking of dramatic… (Uncanny X-Men #304)
One of the best of many callbacks. (Uncanny X-Men #304)
Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men #304)
I’m curious about a lot of the inclusions and exclusions in this crowd. (Uncanny X-Men #304)
BEHOLD! (Uncanny X-Men #304)
“We live in space.” (Uncanny X-Men #304)
I wonder how many issues have had variations on this title. (X-Men #25)
HE’S VERY CLEARLY FACING AWAY. (X-Men #25)
Dang, Magneto. (X-Men #25)
“Professor, this plan is terrible.” (X-Men #25)
This implies that Xavier’s decision to wipe Magneto’s mind was the plan from the start… (X-Men #25)
Dr. Spock would like a word with you, Magneto. (X-Men #25)
“Damnit, that was my favorite shirt!” (X-Men #25)
That’s gotta smart. (X-Men #25)
…Well, damn. (X-Men #25)
Please note that even bereft of his mind, Magneto’s cape is DRAMATIC AS HELL. (X-Men #25)
NEXT EPISODE: Reality bites.

235 – Fatal Extractions (Fatal Attractions, Part 2)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Magneto may or may not own a Namor body pillow; Cyclops probably doesn’t color-code his files; Colossus is Not Okay; bats are nature’s flashers; there are a lot of reasons to be mad at Fatal Attractions; Charles Xavier is surprisingly durable; the X-Men know their Aeschylus; Jean Grey goes in through the face; and bringing Wolverine to fight the guy who controls metal was probably not a great idea.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mutant Alpha
  • Uncanny X-Men #304
  • X-Men #25
  • False foreshadowing
  • Costume storage and display
  • Relative moral event horizons
  • The character dehabilitation of Magneto
  • The Magneto Protocols
  • How Cyclops organizes his files
  • An excellent eulogy
  • The complicated legacy of Illyana Rasputin
  • Several noteworthy absences
  • A memorable funeral
  • The ‘behold’ thing
  • A protective mesh of electromagnetic fire
  • A well-played callback
  • A strategically dubious plan
  • Several Prometheus Bound quotations
  • An uncharitable assumption
  • The blood-brain barrier
  • A severe costume injury
  • The definitive scene of Fatal Attractions
  • The root of Onslaught
  • Which X-Men would podcast
  • Our preferred comics formats

NEXT EPISODE: Colossus still can’t catch a break

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 230 – Touchstones

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Or, alternately, read something that won’t make you cry? You do you. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
Nobody stands casually like that. NOBODY. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
Another scene from the alternate universe where A Fish Called Wanda was a heartwarming tearjerker about friendship and loss. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
I just. The art. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
Jean X-Plains Kitty and Illyana. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
“It won’t save her, but she’ll at least get to play some Rad Racer.” (Uncanny X-Men #303)
Aw, man. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
AW, MAN. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
Andy Kubert is really exceptionally good at drawing kisses and almost-kisses. (X-Men #24)
(It’s okay. They’ll work it out.) (X-Men #24)
I really appreciate Beast’s casual use of the word “panache” here. (X-Men #24)
Aw, these kids. (X-Men #24)
…which is the cat, and which the mouse, and which the mousecat, and which the catmouse, and… (X-Men #24)
If you need me, I’ll be over here, crying. (X-Men #24)
These two have been written pretty unevenly over the years, so it’s easy to forget how good a couple they can be. (X-Men #24)
CEILING MAGNETO IS WATCHING YOU… well, you get the idea. (X-Men #24)
What If: Magik is very much the story Illyana should have had.
This comic! (What If: Magik)
Dr. Strange, Master of the Mystic Arts, Kind of Bad at the Whole Person Thing. (What If: Magik)
I really wish I could just drop this whole comic into the visual companion, because it’s ALL this gorgeous. (What If: Magik)
My heart. (What If: Magik)
Aw, these two awkward sorcerer friends. (What If: Magik)
That’s. My. Girl. (What If: Magik)
NEXT EPISODE: The other X-Cutioner!

LINKS & OTHER TRAGEDIES:

230 – Touchstones

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which tragedy strikes; leisure suits are underappreciated; Jubilee is fundamentally opposed to feelings; that MCU joke would definitely have been hilarious; we have trouble accepting Beast as a 20-something; when Gambit and Rogue work, they work; Wolverine makes an unlikely agony aunt; Dr. Strange was the mentor Illyana Rasputin really needed; and What If: Magik is pretty much a perfect comic.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Human High Council
  • Many terrible things that have happened to the Rasputin family
  • Uncanny X-Men #303
  • X-Men #24
  • What If: Magik
  • A tonal disconnect
  • Leisure Suit Larry
  • A prospective movie marathon
  • Insecurity
  • Molecular Cohesion Unit
  • The death of Illyana Rasputin (and its aftermath)
  • Death in America
  • A dubious idea for a theme park
  • A reunion
  • Papa Gumbo’s Cajun Cookout
  • Illyana Rasputin and Dr. Strange
  • Navigating vs. erasing trauma
  • Why What If: Magik is absolutely amazing
  • How to cite X-Men volumes
  • Earth-242 (Earth on Fire)

NEXT EPISODE: The other X-Cutioner!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 227 – Wolverine, Killing

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
It looks like it would be good, right? It SHOULD be good! (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
And still! (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
The Whale and/or Shark! (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
“I see,” readers concluded, “The villain is clearly a very tall lady with no arms.” (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
S.H.I.E.L.D., no. (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
What if I just include the cool parts in the visual companion? (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
Meet Mr. Big. (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
Wolverine: the man so manly his stubble will fight you. (Actually, it’s adamantium.) (Not the stubble; that’s just stubble.) (You get the idea, though.) (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
Again: The art is good; it just very much seems like it belongs in a different book. (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
And now for something completely different! (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
It’s worth noting that the “Hell’s heart… hate’s sake…” quote is often misattributed to the film version; but it is, in fact, from the original novel. (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
The big, dramatic twist, I guess. (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
…Okay. (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
OKAY. (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
The title and cover of Wolverine: Killing conspire to make it look much less interesting than it actually is.
We are always here for Cowboy Poet Wolverine. (Wolverine: Killing)
Wow. (Wolverine: Killing)
A brief, bright incursion from a different story. (Wolverine: Killing)
The pulse that keeps time in this story. (Wolverine: Killing)
This is how to do weird right. (Wolverine: Killing)
Please note: not sexy. (Wolverine: Killing)
King Hiss? (Wolverine: Killing)
I love the idea that she’ll emerge into the larger world talking like a hard boiled P.I. (Wolverine: Killing)
He may not know which parts of him came from where, but he knows who he is. (Wolverine: Killing)
The costume goes on! (Wolverine: Killing)
OH SNAP (Wolverine: Killing)
NEXT EPISODE: Subtlety and stealth.

LINKS & FURTHER TANGENTS: