Lockheed – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 416 – The Screaming Room

July 16, 2023 Jay Leave a comment

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Okay, but it’s pretty fucking creepy as a toy, too. (Excalibur #118)

Aaaaand there he goes. (Excalibur #118)

Meanwhile in AWESOME. (Excalibur #118)

Oh, THAT guy. (Excalibur #118)

Nightcrawler’s nightmare. (Excalibur #119)

Colossus’s nightmare. (Excalibur #119)

Shadowcat’s nightmare. (Excalibur #119)

Douglock’s nightmare. (Excalibur #119)

Meggan’s nightmare, featuring a whole lot of great cameos! (Excalibur #119)

I’m not a smoker, but I wanna learn to blow smoke rings like that. (Excalibur #119)

Ouch. (Excalibur #120)

NEXT EPISODE: Why, indeed.

416 – The Screaming Room

July 2, 2023 Jay 7 comments

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In which we are incapable of X-Plaining the Great Lakes Avengers; Pete Wisdom evolves; Douglock hacks the island; Nightcrawler cosplays Nightcrawler; and we find ourselves bafflingly defensive of the Bamfs.

X-PLAINED:

How to recruit Unus the Untouchable to your super-team
What Excalibur has been up to
Excalibur #118-120
An excellent use of danger room technology
Some fairly deft metacommentary
Colossus vs. another tree
Bamfs and the character assassination thereof
Nightmare
Characterization via lettering
Several nightmare scenarios
Pete Wisdom vs. Nightmare
Meggan’s true form (again)
A poorly conceived romantic gesture
Foreshadowing
Relative Bamf quality
Other Marvel villains we’d like to see menace the X-Men
Our thoughts on Legion and The Gifted

NEXT EPISODE: A pterodactyl with a gun!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 403 – Sneaky-Peeky Stuff

March 5, 2023 Miles One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Not a single pouch! Being an intern sucks. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)

How did they not hear that coming a mile away? (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)

ASAB (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)

A transom is a crossbar at the top of a doorframe that separates it from an above-door window. I had to look that up! (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)

Kitty Pryde is banned from half the department stores in the UK. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)

Face ID was still working out the kinks in 1997. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)

You can tell Rigby’s the love interest – look at that hair! (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)

This is pretty much what Miles’s day job looks like. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)

“Type ‘cookie’, you idiot!” (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)

AWOOOOOGA! (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)

I mean, Kitty’s had worse looks. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)

Medication, lip gloss, spare underwear, dragon… Kitty just packed the basics. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)

Welp, I guess Logan’s new name on the podcast is Wooferino. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)

New Yorkers, amirite? (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)

“I feel like I’m going meshugge!” (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)

It’s a silly comic, but damn if the pacing isn’t genuinely effective. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)

“God, Dad! Knock before you come in! (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)

Logan x-plains Kitty Pryde & Wolverine. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)

That’s handy work! (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)

I kinda wish it was a Hello name is sticker instead. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)

Still less embarrassing than dating Pete Wisdom. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)

Well done, Ogun. You kept up the deception for almost five full seconds. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)

Did the Astral Plane used to be this cramped? (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)

Lockheed’s helping! (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)

I… I mean… sure, fine. Let’s just go with it. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)

Every IT department has to deal with that user. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)

Spoiler: Ogun does not try. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)

NEXT TIME: Death’s Head II!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

We talked about Kitty and Ogun’s first meeting way back in Episode 28!

403 – Sneaky-Peeky Stuff

March 5, 2023 Miles 7 comments

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In which Shadowcat gets a new miniseries; people don’t talk that way (but probably should); holograms are magic; the Helicarrier gets possessed; Wolverine fights a computer; and Miles and Al pitch live-action X-series.

X-PLAINED:

Possession
Shadowcat (Kitty Pryde) (more) (again)
Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1-3
A surprising helicopter
Frictionless bed sheets
S.H.I.E.L.D. vs. S.H.I.E.L.D. vs. S.H.I.E.L.D.
The word “obstreperous”
The nefarious doings of nasty transom peekers, envelope steamers, and door kickers
Larry Hama dialogue
Rigby Fallon
Yet another return of Ogūn
One way to get from the Brooklyn Bridge to a Helicarrier
Yet another fight on the astral plane
Wolverine vs. technology
The intrinsic power of life, I guess
Visibility of psychic powers
Live-action X pitches

NEXT EPISODE:

Death’s Head II!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 402 – What the Damn?!

February 26, 2023 Miles Leave a comment

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Shadowcat, Douglock, and… Hard-Boiled Harry?! (Excalibur #114)

Sari St. Hubbins, Fashion Plate: Part 1. (Excalibur #114)

Colossus would have bought a hat too, but then where would he keep all that hair? (Excalibur #114)

Captain Mustache, Part the First. (Excalibur #114)

I’m a firestarter, twisted firestarter (Excalibur #114)

Katherine Pryde, experienced superhero. (Excalibur #114)

Sari St. Hubbins, Fashion Plate: Part 2. (Excalibur #114)

Captain Mustache, Part the Second. (Excalibur #115)

Banshee is so muscly! And his cape is so foldy! (Excalibur #115)

Mel Rubi’s Douglock. (Excalibur #115)

Miles’s average day in IT looks pretty much like this. (Excalibur #115)

“Plus some Externals, but… I don’t think any of us really want to spent the time to talk about them.” (Excalibur #115)

He is so sweet. (Excalibur #115)

“Freakin’ last boss of Ninja Gaiden sends me all the way back to the beginning of the level even when I still have lives left..!” (Excalibur #115)

When Meggan’s happy, I’m happy. (Excalibur #115)

Aww jeez you two (Excalibur #115)

It’s been an honor, Shepherd. (Excalibur #115)

Check out that sweet shadow-invisible hand! (Excalibur #116)

Mel Rubi does Paul Smith. (Excalibur #116)

Where did that costume end up? You should break it out again, Captain Kate! (Excalibur #116)

So that mutagenic agent made the Sidri… swole? (Excalibur #116)

“It’s-a-me, Stereotype!” (Excalibur #116)

Pete Wisdom in: Terminator 2. (Excalibur #116)

Triple-wielding! (Excalibur #116)

Additional swordplay – this time, in callback form! (Excalibur #116)

They pulled his collectivism out through his belly button..? (Excalibur #116)

Hey, that’s not what Kitty wears in her SHIELD miniseries! Kinda wish it was, though. (Excalibur #116)

NEXT EPISODE: Kitty Pryde goes to work for The Man

402 – What the Damn?!

February 26, 2023 Miles 7 comments

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In which Marvel UK was a wild ride; everyone has a definitive Kitty Pryde; Sari St. Hubbins studies her X-Men; Moira MacTaggert discovers contagion theory; ideas do not stories make; Meggan is the heart of the team; and Excalibur inches towards its finale.

X-PLAINED:

Marvel UK
Digitek
Excalibur #114-117
What Excalibur’s been up to
Tunnels vs. sewers
An unexpected callback
Slang
The mutability of Kitty Pryde
Friendship
Sari St. Hubbins
Fashion
One way to get around a power inhibitor
A frosted tips outline
Viruses
Phalanx love
Greebling
A substantial retcon
Excalibur vs. the Sidri
Marvel characters’ musical associations
Whether there have been more X-Men or Avengers

NEXT EPISODE: Kitty Pryde goes to work for The Man

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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359 – Meanwhile in Britain

January 16, 2022 Jay 16 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Excalibur has a lot going on; Margali Szardos is never up to any good; Nightcrawler grows into leadership; we delve into the politics of superheroism; Pete Wisdom earns his keep; Miles catches a Prisoner reference; and we reach the end of Warren Ellis’ Excalibur.

X-PLAINED:

John the Skrull
Excalibur #100-103
The current state of Excalibur
Black Air (again)
The Hellfire Club (London Branch)
Australia
Margali Szardos (more)
Demonic ethernet
Captain Britain’s new-old suit
Emma Steed
Dune
Several fights
Combat IT
Boolean definitions of madness
The Department
Laserdisks
Patriotism
Many doppelgangers
Nightcreeper
Another reference to Dante’s Inferno

NEXT EPISODE: Some absolute nonsense

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 337 – Wild Genes and Old Magic

June 20, 2021 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

The Hellfire Club WISHES Brian bothered to show up in a tux. (Excalibur #96)

Meet the new Kurt: Now 50% more Age of Apocalypse! (Excalibur #96)

Meet the new Meggan: Now 50% more… boobs, I guess? (Excalibur #96)

Scratch. (Excalibur #96)

Brian Braddock, WASP bishop of the Hellfire Club. (Excalibur #97)

hehe (Excalibur #97)

Well, fuck. (Excalibur #97)

Now this cover can live in your memory, too! (Excalibur #98)

Sartorial choices were made. (Excalibur #98)

Alas, poor Douglock. (Don’t worry. He’ll be back.) (Excalibur #98)

Oh. That guy. (Excalibur #99)

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk! NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor’s recruitment standards somehow drop even lower.

337 – Wild Genes and Old Magic

June 20, 2021 Jay 15 comments

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In which Excalibur is beset by shady organizations; Nightcrawler gets a new look; nobody hates Pete Wisdom as much as Lockheed hates Pete Wisdom; Brian Braddock should not be allowed to dress himself; Excalibur invades Black Air; and Onslaught continues to lurk.

X-PLAINED:

Some countries Magneto has invaded
Excalibur #96-99
Black Air (more) (again)
The London branch of the Hellfire Club
Nightcrawler’s new look
Meggan’s new look
The return of Alistaire Stuart
How not to dress for the Hellfire Club
The Shadow Cabinet (a little)
Hacking
Agent Scratch
Avengers vs. Avengers
Addiction recovery
Accreditation of the Xavier School
Developing a library X-collection

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk!

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor’s increasingly low recruitment standards!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!