Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 440 – Fightin’ and Ballin’

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Fight fight fight, fight fight fight! (X-Men #83)
PHWOOOOOSH PKOOOM YAAIIIHEEE SWOOOOOOOOOSSS (X-Men #83)
‘Sup, demonic sperm? (X-Men #83)
From organic steel to organic… whatever that is. (X-Men #83)
What if Pinocchio but evil Colossus-bot? (X-Men #83)
The other Cerebr(o/ite) design. (X-Men #83)
Design by David Cronenberg? (Uncanny X-Men #364)
Fight fight fight, fight fight fight! (Again again again!) (Uncanny X-Men #364)
The best version of Post. (Uncanny X-Men #364)
Wolverine: vigilante relationship counselor and motivational speaker. (Uncanny X-Men #364)
Eeeuuuugghhh (Uncanny X-Men #364)
Charles Xavier: the world’s most ripped telepath. (X-Men #84)
Cerebro Prime has almost completed its Pokédex! (X-Men #84)
Colossus practices his witty banter. (X-Men #84)
Oil and razor blades and cotton candy and (X-Men #84)
The Xavier Protocols are gorier than expected. (X-Men #84)
Imagine all the people (X-Men #84)
Back home and back to the status quo. (X-Men #84)
NEXT TIME: Dracula.

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440 – Fightin’ and Ballin’

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From organic steel to organic… whatever that is. (X-Men #83)

In which the Hunt for Xavier remains vaguely disappointing; Gambit is good with kids; nanomachines are the new unstable molecules; Marrow is a walking armory; and we recommend comics for babies.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Hunt for Xavier, Part 2
  • Babies and/or ghosts
  • Chekhov’s repowering
  • X-Men #83-84
  • Uncanny X-Men #364
  • Cerebro / Cerebro Prime
  • Cerebrite Alpha
  • Cerebrite Beta
  • X-Men serial numbers
  • What Gambit’s friends call him
  • How Miles stopped worrying and learned to love Gambit
  • Evil robot sperm
  • Mary Purcell
  • Multiple-monitor displays
  • A computer with a computer
  • AI
  • The Florida facility
  • Post
  • Pile-Driver X
  • A glimpse into the butt of all humanity
  • Comics for babies
  • Name-based powers

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X has Dracula problems!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 439 – Fishfic

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A very loud search party. (Uncanny X-Men #362)
Stooges in shorts. (Uncanny X-Men #362)
The Continuing Saga of Gambit & the Gassy Lady. (Uncanny X-Men #362)
Storm and Marrow have their best conversations while fucking up automobiles. (Uncanny X-Men #362)
*Driving rock intro* (Uncanny X-Men #362)
Gassy ladies, fire ladies… It hard to be Gambit. (Uncanny X-Men #362)
This version of Cerebro doesn’t require telepathy to use, but it does require a cute outfit. (Uncanny X-Men #362)
In medias swamp-rat. (X-Men #82)
He has agreed to take me / To the ice hotel from the magazine (X-Men #82)
Whoa indeed, Keanu. (X-Men #82)
You’ve all had that dream too, right? (X-Men #82)
Clockwise from top-left: blood, black bile, phlegm, yellow bile. (X-Men #82)
I have no idea what kind of metal band Cerebro fronts, but I would listen to them. (X-Men #82)
I miss Toad’s too-many-Liefeldian-teeth look, but this one’s pretty great. (Uncanny X-Men #363)
Maybe the post-Fall era of X-Men will finally explain what Wolverine smelled. (Uncanny X-Men #363)
Cerebro’s other outfit. (Uncanny X-Men #363)
What’s… what’s happening here?! (Uncanny X-Men #363)
Shoulda just complimented her classic fedora-‘n’-trenchcoat look. (Uncanny X-Men #363)
Meanwhile, in the margins of a Wolverine one-shot… (Uncanny X-Men #363)
Somewhat new, somewhat different. (Uncanny X-Men #363)
NEXT TIME: 2 Hunt 2 Xavier

439 – Fishfic

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In which we reach the beginning of an end; Jay totally forgot Gambit was there; we’re all living in the Mary Purcelliverse; the X-Men split the party; and we explore The Bay Area’s Bohemian Hotbed of Student Anarchy.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mary Purcell (sort of)
  • The re-defaulting of the X-Men
  • Uncanny X-Men #362-323
  • X-Men #82
  • Nebraska
  • Pyro (Saint John Allerdyce) and his endless illness
  • Legacy Virus variations
  • Going home again
  • Running back and forth in quarries
  • Marrow, who’s come a long way
  • The two forms of fire: skeleton monsters and sexy ladies
  • Cerebro (the evil one)
  • San Francisco and Tajikinistan
  • Asphalt ball pits
  • A topsy-turvy nonsensical impossible hell
  • Nina the Mannite
  • Desire, love, loss, and fear
  • Skulls and spines
  • The New (New) Brotherhood of Mutants
  • Cerebrites Alpha and Beta
  • A lost, smelly fish
  • Ambiguous art
  • Blood, sweat, and fears
  • Which mutants would cause the most chaos at holiday gatherings
  • Hopes for post-Fall society

NEXT EPISODE: 2 Hunt 2 Xavier

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 436 – The Feel-Good Movie of the Summer

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Never go on a commercial flight with Wolverine. (X-Men: Liberators #1)
They have fun. (X-Men: Liberators #1)
The Cockrum line-up! (X-Men: Liberators #2)
IT IS REALLY NOT LIKE THE TREES, KURT. (X-Men: Liberators #2)
Walls are for normies. (X-Men: Liberators #2)
Hi, Nikolas! (X-Men: Liberators #2)
I bet Charles Xavier spends a lot of money on landscaping. (X-Men: Liberators #3)
One way to start a fire. (X-Men: Liberators #3)
Kids love Nightcrawler. (X-Men: Liberators #3)
Nude in the snow: the Logan story. (X-Men: Liberators #4)
Omega Red sure is Omega Red. (X-Men: Liberators #4)
…wow. (X-Men: Liberators #4)
IT’S THE FEEL-GOOD MOVIE OF THE SUMMER! (X-Men: Liberators #4)
Aw. (X-Men: Liberators #4)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Force gets possessed!

436 – The Feel-Good Movie of the Summer

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In which Colossus has had a rough time of it; the X-Men are at their best in bar fights; Bronze-age Wolverine was a jerk; Ursa Major deserves more page space; kids dig Nightcrawler; and we imagine an X-Men newspaper comic strip.

X-PLAINED:

  • Notable incidents in Iceman’s romantic history
  • X-Men: Liberators #1-4
  • Nostalgia
  • Friendship
  • A bar fight
  • Province 13
  • General Sergei
  • Several dead deer
  • Gregor and Valeri
  • Nikolas
  • Zener cards
  • Several children
  • Omega Red (more) (again)
  • Ariana
  • Ideal formats
  • Beast vs. Dark Beast
  • A theoretical X-Men newspaper comic

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force gets possessed!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 434 – Return to Cape Citadel

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Happy anniversary! Have a brand-new team! (Uncanny X-Men #360)
The first of a number of Giant-Size X-Men #1-style origin stories. (Uncanny X-Men #360)
In which the long-absent Excalibur mutants remind us of the first team they were all on. (Uncanny X-Men #360)
The All-New, Slightly-Off X-Men attack! (Uncanny X-Men #360)
Meanwhile: all that’s left of the X-Men. Err, the most recent team of X-Men. Not the returning ones. Or the fake ones. Look, there are a lot of different X-Men in this issue, okay? (Uncanny X-Men #360)
Hey, looks like Thomas Wolfe was wrong! (Uncanny X-Men #360)
Who needs panel borders when you’ve got layouts like this? (Uncanny X-Men #360)
Hey, it’s like the last issue’s cover – but with actual X-Men! (X-Men #80)
Comics’ greatest superhero soap opera. (X-Men #80)
Gotta admit, this is not Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau’s greatest showing. (X-Men #80)
A lot’s changed since you’ve been gone, Pete. (X-Men #80)
*raised heavy metal horns accompany a single heavy metal tear* (X-Men #80)
They’ve been back together for only a few hours and are already dramatically posing like champs! (X-Men #80)
“Hey, that’s not Professor X! He has a… you know!” (X-Men #80)
…rocket? (X-Men #80)
More couples’ therapy should include fastball specials. (X-Men #80)
I mean, I know they were kinda jerks, but… jeez! (X-Men #80)
NEXT EPISODE: Our tenth annual Giant-Size Winter Special!

434 – Return to Cape Citadel

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In which the X-Men turn 35; we pause to celebrate the death of Henry Kissinger; Jay is a space nerd; Marrow hang-dries her delicates; space shuttles are not rockets; the band gets back together; and the Danger Room isn’t the first piece of X-tech to get sentience and a robot body.

X-PLAINED

  • How Excalibur got a Blackbird
  • Uncanny X-Men #360
  • X-Men #80
  • Many callbacks
  • The Benassi Rocket
  • The Cassini Probe
  • The All-New, Slightly Off X-Men
  • The Grey King (Addison Falk)
  • Chaos and/or Xhaos (Dan Dash)
  • Mercury
  • Rapture (Sister Joy)
  • Crux (Cristal Lemiuex)
  • Landslide (Lee Broder)
  • The Founder
  • Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau (again)
  • The Mutant Defense Net
  • Heroic narration
  • Lack of spacefaring continuity
  • Friendship
  • Technology
  • Costumes
  • All-New All-Different Dungeons & Dragons

NEXT EPISODE: GIANT-SIZE WINTER SPECIAL #10

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 428 – Naked in a Cake

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So who is that in the cake? (Excalibur #124)
A bridal shower! (Excalibur #124)
A bachelor party! (Excalibur #124)
Seriously, why is this a thing (Excalibur #124)
Yep, we’ve missed the Crazy Gang. (Excalibur #124)
Awk-ward (Excalibur #124)
To answer Suzy Eddie Izzard’s question: cake and death! (Excalibur #124)
And then Feron’s life got even worse. (Excalibur #124)
And a good time was had by all… especially Captain UK and Mimic, I assume. (Excalibur #124)
Love and chaos. (Excalibur #125)
Cameos! (Excalibur #125)
More cameos! (Excalibur #125)
I have questions about this pipe organ. (Excalibur #125)
Healthy… communication? Is that a thing in the Marvel Universe? Is that allowed? (Excalibur #125)
WHO INVITED THE NAZIS (Excalibur #125)
And have they ever earned it. (Excalibur #125)
Gatecrasher has the weeds! (Excalibur #125)
Lockheed, I know you want Piotr and Kitty to get together, but I assure you this will not work out. (Excalibur #125)
Nobody does wedding receptions like the Starlight Citadel of Otherworld. (Excalibur #125)
Man, that really is a shockingly tiny invitation. (Excalibur #125)
See, Feron? Just because everyone forgets about you doesn’t mean you have to jump out of a cake to try to murder people! (Excalibur #125)
Saturnyne, this is literally the worst possible time. (Excalibur #125)
Kurt, this is… also not a great time. (Excalibur #125)
Dammit, now I’m tearing up. (Excalibur #125)
And that, as they say, is that. (Excalibur #125)
NEXT TIME: X-Factor is back! Kind of!

428 – Naked in a Cake

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Love and chaos. (Excalibur #125)

In which you shouldn’t invite nazis to your wedding, there’s a lot of multiverse, Captain Britain and Meggan are pretty heteronormative but make it work, everybody forgot Feron, and the next husband will be Gatecrasher’s.

X-PLAINED:

  • Captain Britain varieties
  • The history of Brian Braddock and Meggan Puceanu, abridged
  • Excalibur #124-125
  • Mutants most likely to jump out of a cake
  • The Crazy Gang (again)
  • Meggan’s crush on Colossus
  • Colossus’s guilt about Meggan’s crush on Colossus
  • A surprise bridal shower
  • The return of Captain UK
  • Brian Braddock’s teetotaling techniques
  • Mimic’s ever-changing facial hair
  • Glorious, glorious chaos
  • Poor, poor Feron
  • Multiple awkward conversations
  • The return of Widget and also everyone else
  • Lightning Force (dammit)
  • A lengthy but not exhaustive list of Captains Britain
  • So many cameos
  • …Seriously, so many cameos
  • Dai Thomas’s anti-iron
  • Shockingly healthy communication
  • Bouquet brawls and garter gar-nage
  • A bittersweet ending
  • Nightcrawler’s best outfit
  • The universe where the X-Men X-Plain Jay & Miles
  • Our hypothetical post-finale Excalibur lineup

NEXT EPISODE: The return of X-Factor! Kind of!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!