Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: kurt wagner

As Mentioned in Episode 129 – They Don’t Allow Dragons in Here

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Lockheed, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore. (Excalibur #12)
Spoiler: this ends exactly the way you’d expect it to. (Excalibur #12)
This guy. (Excalibur #12)
IT’S SUCH A GOOD SIGHT GAG! (Excalibur #12)
Fisticuffs! (Excalibur #12)
This series has the best covers, man. (Excalibur #13)
Swell new threads, Cap! (Excalibur #13)
Princess Kitty, now 100% more bland. (Excalibur #13)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #13)
THIS IS NOT A GOOD FOUNDATION FOR A RELATIONSHIP. Also, I’m pretty sure they’re both, like, fourteen. (Excalibur #13)
Another classic. (Excalibur #14)
I’m not saying he’s not, but… (Excalibur #14)
Whoa, dang. (Excalibur #14)
Oh. THAT guy. (Excalibur #14)
The more you know! (Excalibur #14)
Swell new threads, Meggan! (Excalibur #14)
I always remember Albert being in this scene, which he’s obviously not, because he didn’t exist yet. Go figure. -J (Excalibur #14)
It’s like the dog ending of Silent Hill II, but instead of shibas, you get Chris Claremont and John Byrne. (Excalibur #14)
You tell ’em, Galactus! (Excalibur #14)
Look, we get what you were going for, but, no. (Excalibur #12)
I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. (Excalibur #13)
You can go home now. We’ve hit single greatest panel of Excalibur, ever. (Excalibur #15)
Ah, “the old-fashioned way.” (Excalibur #15)
MEANWHILE… (Excalibur #15)
AND THEN… (Excalibur #15)
Jamie Jaspers is terrifying. (Excalibur #15)
LATER… (Excalibur #15)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Excalibur #15)
NEXT EPISODE: Killing the X-Men, with Charles Soule!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

129 – They Don’t Allow Dragons in Here (The Cross-Time Caper, Part 1)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which “Cross-Time Caper” is something of a misnomer; Excalibur is an awful lot of fun to summarize; none of us will ever live up to Oscar Wilde’s expectations; Captain Britain secretly derives his powers from genre; sometimes things turn out to be simple; Kitty Pryde is better at everything than you; manipulation and murder are the new flowers and candy; context may or may not ruin everything; Meggan gets a new outfit; Technet takes Brighton; and some universes are just too silly to survive.

X-PLAINED:

  • Rick Jones, Sidekick Supreme
  • The Cross-Time Caper
  • Excalibur #12-15
  • Three love triangles
  • Jay’s mom’s late iguana
  • Captain Marshall, Lord Champion of the Realm
  • Prince William
  • Butch the ogre
  • Princess Kate
  • Fisticuffs
  • Instant air conditioning, Excalibur-style
  • Bagpipe Vader
  • An anticlimactic solution to a protracted problem
  • Sorcery 101
  • Several profoundly unethical ways to initiate a relationship
  • Arrested Excalibur
  • The Campsite Rule of relationships
  • The logistics and social history of tarring and feathering
  • A protracted parody
  • A very large number and several names for it
  • A theoretical team-up
  • Ultimate Hunger
  • An unidentified comic that is not Ultimate Hunger
  • Some less-than-ideal creative choices
  • A multiversal montage
  • Jamie Braddock (more) (again)
  • A duck
  • The unenviable fate of Doctor Crocodile
  • Pairing mutants with metal genres
  • Inconsistent flight safety measures

NEXT EPISODE: Killing the X-Men, with Charles Soule

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Jay Recaps X-Men: Evolution
S1E10: Shadowed Past

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Ever heard of something called “The Draco”?

No, not the blonde guy from Harry Potter. The “Draco” I’m talking about is an Uncanny X-Men arc where Chuck Austen retconned Nightcrawler’s origin story to involve a father from an ancient race of demon-looking mutants long exiled to a hell dimension by a bunch of quasi-angelic counterparts.1

The Draco is one of the worst arcs of Austen’s already fairly shaky 2 run; and generally considered to be one of the worst X-Men stories ever. It’s the continuity equivalent of awkward makeouts at your company Christmas party: everyone does their best to politely pretend that it never happened, and if anyone brings it up, everyone familiar with the story gets acutely embarrassed by proxy.

I am telling you about The Draco not because it has any relevance whatsoever to X-Men: Evolution–it doesn’t–but so that you will understand where the bar sits when I tell you that “Shadowed Past” is my least favorite take on Nightcrawler’s origin story.

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As Mentioned in Episode 120 – Observed by a Family of Lizard People

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Hi, there. (Excalibur #8)
They’re totally a girl gang, though, right? (Excalibur #8)
Ouch. (Excalibur #8)
Hi, Brian. (Excalibur #8)
Seriously, it’s never not funny. (Excalibur #8)
I want a statue of this cover SO BAD. (Excalibur #9)
Meet Lightning Force: The Nazi Excalibur you really, really don’t need in your life. (Excalibur #9)
The many faces of Meggan (and some slightly disastrous sound effects from Brian). (Excalibur #9)
Alastaire Stuart and his banana. (Excalibur #9)
Kittys Pryde. (Excalibur #9)
HI, BRIAN. (Excalibur #10)
Just gal pals, pallin’ around. (Excalibur #11)
If I had a dollar for every time this had happened… (Excalibur #11)
Well, then. (Excalibur #11)
Sure, why not? (Excalibur #11)
NEXT EPISODE: Deadpool v Gambit, with Ben Acker!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

120 – Observed by a Family of Lizard People

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which everything is worse with Nazis; Excalibur gets its groove back; Meggan has an identity crisis; Kitty gets a crush; a dragon gets interdimensional sanctuary; and the Cross-Time Caper starts not with a bang, but a foomp.

X-PLAINED:

  • The death of Lilandra Neramani
  • Excalibur #8-11
  • The best name in Hollywood
  • Still more of Inferno’s aftermath
  • A basketball game
  • Blackbird disambiguation
  • Several long-delayed reunions and one subsequent resolution
  • Alastaire Stuart (and his banana)
  • Tourists who are also lizards
  • Lightning Force
  • A number of unfortunate encounters
  • The difference between Errol Flynn characters and Errol Flynn
  • The fall of Nigel Frobisher
  • The switch that turns the engine invisible
  • What may be the world’s least subtle euphemistic use of the term “roommate”
  • How the discourse around comics has changed since the ’80s
  • Jubilee vs. power creep

NEXT EPISODE: Deadpool v Gambit, with Ben Acker!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 111 – You’ll Have to Look Inside for That

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
The greatest comic-book cover of all time. (Excalibur #4)
This guy, man. (Excalibur #4)
The fashion! The feelings! DAMN, I love Excalibur. (Excalibur #4)
SPOILER: This kiss does not actually happen. (Excalibur #4)
It’s awfully nice of Arcade to put those recaps up on the monitors! (Excalibur #4)
Courtney Ross: Just. That. Good. (Excalibur #4)
Excalibur is perpetually one tastefully-framed quick-change away from being a sex farce. (Excalibur #5)
Check out the visual language on the body-swapped Excalibur and Crazy Gang. (Excalibur #5)
Arcade vs. Murderworld. (Excalibur #5)
It’s our favorite fictional-but-also-real band, Cats Laughing! (Excalibur #5)
MURDERWORLD , Y’ALL. (Excalibur #5)
Yeah, Inferno’s basically just gonna be business as usual for Excalibur. (Excalibur #5)
I accept on faith that there are people who read this and assumed that Kitty and Rachel didn’t have a romantic relationship, but it still kind of baffles me. (Excalibur #5)
Bye, Courtney. (Excalibur #5)
Seriously, Excalibur has the greatest covers. (Excalibur #6)
“Oh, yeah, there IS another Summers kid that we kinda forgot about in all the chaos!” (Excalibur #6)
Yeah, I’m with Meggan on this one. (Excalibur #6)
This makes somewhat less sense if you remember that these two have in fact met before. (Excalibur #6)
Evil Meggan is a snappy dresser. (Excalibur #6)
And then that happened. (Excalibur #6)
THOSE COVERS THO (Excalibur #7)
Please take the Billy Idol joke as read. (Excalibur #7)
HEY LOOK IT’S JAY IN COLLEGE (Excalibur #7)
And now for something completely different! (Excalibur #7)
The fact that it’s Doug makes this scene both sadder and creepier. (Excalibur #7)
R.I.P., Best Gargoyle Ever. (Excalibur #7)
And you thought the Goblin Prince’s outfit was scandalous. (Excalibur #7)
Nazi Moira and Callisto: Evil, but fashionable. (Excalibur #6)
NEXT WEEK: Inferno Post-Game, with Sam Humphries!

111 – You’ll Have to Look Inside for That

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Wolverine gets a wolverine; the Crazy Gang meets their match; Inferno is business as usual for Excalibur; Alan Davis covers are the best covers; David Wynne makes his on-air debut; Courtney Ross is more competent than you; Murderworld operates on a dubious economic model; Nightcrawler is the anti-Nice Guy™, and everything basically works out for the best.

X-PLAINED:

  • Wolverine’s wolverine
  • A subtle but critical spelling difference
  • Excalibur #4-7
  • The greatest comic-book cover of all time
  • Dialogue on covers
  • Courtney Ross
  • Edwardian power suits
  • Arcade (again)
  • The dubious economics of Murderworld
  • The Looney Toones school of sexploitation
  • Search terms
  • Fashion in Excalibur
  • A mundane but useful superpower
  • The death of Courtney Ross
  • Perils of transatlantic flight
  • The Goblin Princess
  • A really excellent gargoyle
  • Several cinematic references
  • A very revealing outfit
  • Brigadier Alysande Stuart
  • Sinister fashion
  • Still more Limbo disambiguation

NEXT WEEK: Infero Post-Game, with Sam Humphries

Special thanks to David Wynne.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 103 – Warwolves of London

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
It’s the front-cover equivalent of the slow-motion hero walk. (Excalibur #1)
Hi, Widget! (Excalibur #1)
Kitty is ridiculous and also awesome. (Excalibur #1)
Nigel “The Worst” Frobisher. (Excalibur #1)
Aw, man. (Excalibur #1)
Welcome to the perfectly ordinary lighthouse full of perfectly ordinary rooms! Hope you survive the… (Excalibur #1)
“No one can move in Rachel’s costume except Rachel” is going to become a running joke over the course of the series. (Excalibur #1)
Somewhere there’s a universe where Meggan grew up watching Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23, in which this scene went very differently. (Excalibur #1)
Vixen, never change. (Excalibur #2)
The Warwolves are awful, but also fairly delightful. (Excalibur #2)
Oh, dear me. (Excalibur #2)
HIJINKS! (Excalibur #2)
Well, that happened. (Excalibur #2)
This cannot POSSIBLY end well. (Excalibur #2)
Alan Davis covers are the best covers. (Excalibur #3)
SOMEHOW TEAM VIXEN’S OUTFITS GOT EVEN BETTER. (Excalibur #3)
And so it goes. (Excalibur #3)
Well done, Kitty. (Excalibur #3)
Well done, Kurt. (Excalibur #3)
FRIENDSHIP! (Excalibur #3)
Including this panel purely for Kurt’s dashing outfit. (Excalibur #3)
PERFECTLY NORMAL LIGHTHOUSE. NOTHING TO SEE HERE. (Excalibur #3)

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING:

103 – Warwolves of London

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which Excalibur is x-tra x-ceptional; we once again gush at length about Alan Davis; Kurt Wagner is reliable with the ladies; nothing in Excalibur is ever perfectly normal; Warwolves are regular folks; Brian Braddock still doesn’t get to take a bath; Jay overthinks a question; and there’s more where that came from!

 

X-PLAINED:

  • The Unstoppable Juggernaut
  • Earth-10724
  • Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comicon
  • Excalibur #1-3
  • Fun
  • The Crazy Gang (again)
  • The somewhat ignominious death of Ray Mulholland
  • Warwolves
  • Nigel Frobisher
  • A somewhat dubious ploy
  • Bathroom etiquette
  • Widget
  • A kid named Colin
  • Rupert Holloway
  • Friendship, kind of
  • The Lighthouse
  • Courtney Ross
  • Excalibur vs. the Juggernaut
  • Kitty’s powers
  • An exceptionally specific theoretical crossover

NEXT WEEK: Checking in on the current state of the X-line, with guest Brett White!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Jay Recaps X-Men: Evolution
S1E9: Survival of the Fittest

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I can summarize most episodes of X-Men: Evolution from memory, in a fair degree of detail; so it surprised me when, in reviewing the Season 1 roster, I realized I recalled almost nothing of “Survival of the Fittest” beyond the fact that it involved some kind of summer camp scenario. When I started to watch, I realized why: in a season where even the bad episodes are usually entertaining, this one is just boring as all hell.

On my first pass, I stopped taking notes five minutes in, because nothing was happening. By the halfway mark, I was actively fantasizing about watching paint dry.1 But I am nothing if not committed, readers. I promised you a recap, and a recap you would have, come hell or high water.

Ah, well. At least I get to judge cartoon teenagers for their fashion choices.

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