Jubilation Lee – Page 9 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 222 – A Tale of Two Betsys

November 11, 2018 Jay 5 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Spoiler: It’s Betsy Braddock’s original body. (X-Men #20)

Does it seem weird to anyone else that Jubilee is putting her skates on in Professor X’s news den? Is there even room for that? (X-Men #20)

That’s not how gravity OR abs work. (X-Men #20)

BETSY NO (X-Men #20)

We have reached peak Scott Summers. (X-Men #20)

This stuff will be a running backbeat to the remainder of Scott and Jean’s relationship. (X-Men #20)

WHAT?! (X-Men #20)

These reaction faces are priceless. (X-Men #20)

Sure, that’s what you CLAIM, but so far Colossus has not thrown Devil Dinosaur at anybody, so I’m suspicious. (X-Men #21)

Kwannon seems to like posing for pictures about as much as Jay does. (X-Men #21)

Same face, same hair–who wore it better?! (X-Men #21)

This guy, AGAIN. (X-Men #21)

At this point, Matsuo’s hair may actually be more aggressively styled than Wolverine’s. (X-Men #22)

Betsy and/or Kwannon X-Plains Betsy and/or Kwannon. (X-Men #22)

“As completely as I understand what happens when two people like each other very much.” (X-Men #23)

And so forth. (X-Men #23)

And you thought that conversations with YOUR grandparents were awkward. (X-Men #22)

The creepiest thing about Sinister is the moments of profound disconnect when it’s clearly Sinister, but everyone reacts to him like he’s just a regular dude. (X-Men #22)

In which Scott Summers continues to never under any circumstances be allowed to take an actual vacation. (X-Men #22)

Seriously. (X-Men #23)

Heralding several decades of nonsense. (X-Men #23)

NEXT EPISODE: Dracula, live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival!

LINKS & FURTHER SORROWS

Listen to our discussion of Psylocke’s original transformation–featuring author Sarah Kuhn–in Episode 137 – Kicky Kinko Killers.
Marvel’s current EiC has a particularly ugly history when it comes to appropriation of Japanese culture and identities.

222 – A Tale of Two Betsys

November 11, 2018 Jay 18 comments

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In which it has been a pretty intense month; there is a lot to unpack about Psylocke; we are confused by hip teen lingo; Cyclops definitively lacks game; organized crime is anything but; and the mystery of the third Summers brother officially begins.

X-PLAINED:

How the Maximoffs joined the Avengers
X-Cutioner’s Song fallout
An X-ceptionally convoluted set of retcons
X-Men #20-23
How not to repair an airplane
One way to get out of an awkward conversation
Several Betsys Braddock
Revanche
Dubiously organized crime
Kwannon
Nyorin’s diary
Awkward family conversations
Mike Milbury
Twin Peaks Season 3
Akira Yoshida

NEXT EPISODE: Dracula in Vegas!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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217 – Piotr the Obscure

October 7, 2018 Jay 11 comments

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In which it sucks to be a Rasputin; X-Men and Uncanny X-Men muddy the waters; Cyclops and Psylocke’s weird flirtation somehow manages to get even more awkward; Colossus has a long series of bad days; and you should totally come see us at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival.

X-PLAINED:

An atypical curriculum
Jay & Miles at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival
X-Men #17-19
What Colossus and Magik have been up to
X-Men title disambiguation
The terrible fate of the town of Neftelensk
Blind Faith (Alexi Garnov)
Darkstar (Laynia Petrovna)
Darkstar
Beard auras
Cathartic interdimensional landscaping
Flagwatch 113
Red Flag 113
An awkward encounter
The Soul Skinner
The tactical value of cute little ears
Dubious cold-weather apparel
Jude the Obscure
Weaponized angst
An inopportune coloring error
Lack of pants
Whether Pyro could control Jubilee’s “fireworks”
How to enjoy dated comics

NEXT EPISODE: Uncanny X-Men hits a major milestone!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 215 – Mon de Orb Uno

September 23, 2018 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

While this cover may be the first story page, it still follows the general rule of Excalibur covers: It’s funny when bad things happen to Captain Britain. (Excalibur #55)

Aw, they look so fancy! (Excalibur #55)

Alan Davis hair: expressive AND extra! (Excalibur #55)

HIS FOOT POPPED. (Excalibur #55)

Remember this plot thread? Alan Davis does. Alan Davis remembers EVERY plot thread. It is his blessing and his curse. (Excalibur #55)

Speaking of threads… (Excalibur #55)

This is both an excellent disguise and a quality Cross-Time Caper callback. (Excalibur #56)

Oof. (Excalibur #56)

This party is the worst. (Excalibur #56)

Captain Britain X-Plains the Plot. (Excalibur #56)

(There’s a lot of plot.)(Excalibur #56)

On one hand, Sat-Yr-9 is very evil. On the other hand, this is still very satisfying. (Excalibur #56)

Meggan is so badass. (Excalibur #56)

There’s a Monty Python sketch about this. (Excalibur #56)

“Next, you eat the banana, thus disarming him!” (Excalibur #56)

Too little, too late, Nick. (Excalibur #56)

Remember this kid? ALAN DAVIS DOES! (Excalibur #57)

KITTY, NO. (Excalibur #57)

Cyclops X-Plains X-Factor #41-42. (Excalibur #57)

(And so forth.) (Excalibur #57)

I don’t know why this is a thing. It doesn’t actually impact the story in any significant way. (Excalibur #57)

GAMBIT, NO. (Excalibur #57)

These jerks, again. (Excalibur #58)

This is a ruse, except for the part about Cyclops’s secret boot radio, because Cyclops is a nerd. (Excalibur #58)

I really, really want to know more about Margaret. (Excalibur #58)

TEAM-UP! (Excalibur #58)

Amazing what they cover in undergrad chemistry programs these days. (Excalibur #58)

JUST USE THE PHONE YOU RIDICULOUS PEOPLE (Excalibur #58)

And they all lived happily ever after! (Excalibur #58)

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. therapy, with guest X-Pert Dr. Andrea Letamendi!

LINKS & FURTHER MISADVENTURES

You can hear all about Tom and the trolls’ first encounter in Episode 118 – Extrude the Grappling Arms!
Here is one way to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana.
The Brussels Sewer Museum is super cool, and if you get the chance, you should absolutely check it out.

215 – Mon de Orb Uno

September 23, 2018 Jay 11 comments

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In which we finally emerge from the other side of X-Cutioner’s Song; rich people are different from us; Brian Braddock is probably not comfortable with menstruation; Dai Thomas cleans up pretty well; someone FINALLY remembers Sat-Yr-9; Psylocke knows how to defend herself from a man armed with a banana; the (non-Internet) trolls return; and we are fairly sure that Gambit does not actually speak French.

X-PLAINED:

Winzeldorf
Excalibur (so far)
Excalibur #55-58
Lip massage
The death of Alysande Stuart
A banana fight
Alchemy (again)
Many trolls
A fairly joyous reunion
The Brussels Sewer Museum
A fake heel turn
Our hopes and worries for the New Mutants movie
Comics covers

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. Therapy, with Guest X-Pert Dr. Andrea Letamendi!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 201 – Pump Up the Jam

June 17, 2018 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Damn, that’s a nice cover. (X-Men #10)

I mean, one of them is definitely not playing a part. (X-Men #10)

I know, buddy. I know. (X-Men #10)

Wait for it… (X-Men #10)

*snicker* (X-Men #10)

Throwing this in mostly because it’s a gorgeous panel. (X-Men #10)

Not even the end of the issue, really. (X-Men #10)

Wait, wasn’t Jon Bon Jovi blond in 1992? (X-Men #10)

That is some choice sideeye. (X-Men #11)

A little bit louder, and a little bit worse. (X-Men #11)

“Hey, wanna see if we can make the Psylocke/Cyclops sexual tension even MORE uncomfortable?” (X-Men #11)

TFW you’re just thankful the control booth is lined with Mojonium(TM). (X-Men #11)

Toxic masculinity saves the day! (X-Men #11)

Mojo directing his own murder is a little bit creepy. (X-Men #11)

YOU’D THINK ONCE WOULD HAVE BEEN ENOUGH, BUT NO. (X-Men #11)

“Know what would be the worst, though? If we were all characters in a comic book.” (X-Men #11)

I don’t understand what’s happening around Maverick’s crotch; and frankly, I don’t care to. (X-Men #10)

This guy. (X-Men #10)

Can we get a close-up on that caption, though? (X-Men #10)

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT, HARRAS. (X-Men #10)

Thaaaaaat’s our Maverick! (X-Men #11)

It really, really looks like Professor X’s head isn’t attached to his body. (X-Men #12)

Carter Ryking has come unstuck in time, but not really. (X-Men #12)

Aw, man, it’s nice to have a reminder of why I sometimes really like these two together. (X-Men #12)

I mean, Gambit and Rogue are doing okay, so the dysfunction had to go somewhere… (X-Men #12)

ART CHALLENGE: What’s in the file? Fill in those empty pages! (X-Men #12)

And the skeletons are like, “Dude, we’re RIGHT HERE.” (X-Men #12)

While these are all valid concerns, they’d be alleviated somewhat if anyone ever bothered to draw Professor X with a decent wheelchair. Seriously, X-Men artists, DO SOME BASIC RESEARCH ON THIS. (X-Men #12)

Now there’s a guy who knows how to put the “fun” in “funeral.” (X-Men #12)

Yeah, Logan, don’t get into a feels-off with Rogue. You won’t win. (X-Men #13)

Nicieza’s Beast is really, really good. (X-Men #13)

Aw, Jubilee. (X-Men #13)

Show him what he’s won, Rusty and Skids! (X-Men #13)

NEXT EPISODE: A musical interlude with X-Factor!

201 – Pump Up the Jam

June 17, 2018 Jay 39 comments

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In which we begin our third podcast century; Cyclops is bi-inclusive; we have high standards for Mojoworld; Dazzler can survive your big-budget horror show; Jim Lee makes his exit; video games that involve Protomen are better than video games that don’t; and plasma is the new magnetism.

X-PLAINED:

Carter Ryking and his Very Durable Underpants
Fontanelle
Jay & Miles Town Cry ye X-Men
An upcoming event
X-Men #10-13
A somewhat disappointing Wizard of Oz pastiche
Those who like to go both ways
A mysterious, shadowy figure; revealed
Several of Cyclops’s uncoolest Dad moments
Zima
Moist Alley
Mojo II: The Sequel
The Image exodus
Mojonium™
An announcement
Longshot in the Mojoverse vs. Longshot in the 616
A Maverick adventure
Alexander Ryking
The other Xavier File
Warhawk
The Ryking Hospital for Paranormal Research
A poorly defined power set
Technicolor skeletons
When and where paper was invented
A likely-irrelevant pattern
The devil who haunts Stryfe’s dreams
Some non-X Marvel recommendations
Rusty Collins’s codename

NEXT EPISODE: A musical interlude with X-Factor!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 199 – Space, Geeks, and Gaveedra Seven

May 27, 2018 Jay 4 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

It’s weird, but it could be SO MUCH WEIRDER. (X-Men Annual #1)

These two really have their battle banter down to a science. (X-Men Annual #1)

Well, this is awkward in retrospect. (X-Men Annual #1)

Hi, Retrieval Team. (X-Men Annual #1)

Again: I want these characters to be SO MUCH WEIRDER. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #16)

Stop trying to make “bohunk” happen. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #16)

GOOD LORD JOE QUESADA DRAWS A TERRIFYING MOJO (Uncanny X-Men Annual #16)

This comic does not include a countdown of enemies, but if it did, #1 would definitely be condiments. (X-Factor Annual #7)

This actually explains a depressing lot about Mojoworld. (X-Factor Annual #7)

SPIRAL IS SO COOL. (X-Factor Annual #7)

Spiral X-Plains Spiral, Part 1. (X-Factor Annual #7)

Spiral X-Plains Spiral, Part 2. (X-Factor Annual #7)

Okay, getting marginally weirder, but still not quite there. (X-Force Annual #1)

You can tell he’s a big deal now because he wears his hair down. (X-Force Annual #1)

I just realized that the good Spineless Ones are named after Borscht Belt comedians. (X-Force Annual #1)

Behind every Facebook meme about positivity is this panel. (X-Force Annual #1)

Powerpax! (X-Force Annual #1)

Darkchild! (X-Force Annual #1)

Banshee! (X-Force Annual #1)

Cyberlock! (X-Force Annual #1)

Sunspot, but with a mullet! (X-Force Annual #1)

You’d think a guy who grew up on a media-saturated world would know better than to trust an administrator in a fancy hat. (X-Force Annual #1)

Kill your television. (X-Force Annual #1)

I feel really good about the fact that Longshot aged into Estelle Getty. (X-Force Annual #1)

Ignore these blueprints; they will never be followed consistently. (X-Men Annual #1)

SELF-FRIEND (X-Men Annual #1)

Remember the good ol’ days, when comics NEVER dabbled in politics or even direct allegory? *snort* (X-Men Annual #1)

“I can also cross over with DC properties, but that’s not really gonna be on the table for a while.” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #16)

Val Cooper’s subconscious is an appropriately frightening place. (X-Factor Annual #7)

NOPE. (X-Factor Annual #7)

Taki! We missed you! (X-Force Annual #1)

We’re only posting one of the many pin-ups; but DANG, it’s a good one. (X-Force Annual #1)

NEXT EPISODE: Louise Simonson!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

For more background on Longshot and Mojoworld, listen to Episode 49 – Of Mullets and Miracles.
Get Bishop’s backstory in Episode 180 – Lawful Badass.
The Kobayashi Maru is a really fun book, if you like that kind of thing (which Jay does).
If you happen to end up in New York, the Jim Henson exhibit at the Museum of the Moving Image is AMAZING.
“Send the Marines” is Tom Lehrer’s tribute to American interventionism, and also a very catchy song.
Aside from this Onion article, I could find no information about the alleged Stretch Armstrong recall, so I suspect that story may in fact be apocryphal. -J

199 – Space, Geeks, and Gaveedra Seven

May 27, 2018 Jay 35 comments

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In which Shattershot is definitely better than the Cold War; Beast X-plains the X-teams; Cyclops is a tired babysitter; sustenance is not frivolous; Jim Henson is the hero that Mojoworld needs; Shatterstar is not a great head of state; it’s hard to be Val Cooper; and Cable has definitely figured out how to take you (yes, YOU) out.

X-PLAINED:

Astra
Content-to-story ratio
The Mojoverse (more) (again)
Longshot
Shatterstar (Gaveedra Seven)
Spiral (Ricochet Rita)
Arize
X-Men Annual #1
Uncanny X-Men Annual #16
X-Factor Annual #10
X-Force Annual #1
A pivotal battle
Mujahideen
A callback
Several denizens of Mojoworld
X-Team disambiguation
The Death Sponsors
A dubious solution to the Kobayashi Maru scenario
Whether Arize is a mutant
Telepathic favoritism
Spiral’s origin story
A new regime
Earth-84309
Powerpax (Frankie Power)
Darkchild
Cyberlock
A metasingularity
A large number of back-up features
The X-Men’s top ten enemies
Amalgam (but not that one)
Darick Robertson’s juvenilia
The return of Taki
The Cable Protocols
Brazilian Marvel characters
Our feelings about Laura Kinney’s backstory

NEXT EPISODE: Louise Simonson

CORRECTION: BonziBuddy was not released until 1999. We regret the error.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)