Jenny Ransome – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 479 – Nancy Drew and the Secret of Carrion Cove

March 4, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

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Jay’s not wrong that the buildings look like giant dildos… but at least they look like fancy dildos! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)

Starring: a bunch of fashionable jerks, mostly! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)

Not a good look when your cops look just like the cops who used to oppress you… (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)

Magneto: Master of Magnetism and Monologues! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)

okay but what about the chest-skull (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)

That floaty platform has a heated floor, blind spot monitoring, and built-in GPS. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)

For all your chat reaction needs! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)

These here comical books are lookin’ pretty comical-booky. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)

Magneto talks to… someone! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)

We just like this cover. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)

Everybody fights everybody! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)

In which dust illustrates speed and impact! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)

It’s like the portrait-instead-of-landscape version of widescreen storytelling! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)

Father of the year. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)

To her credit, she does have all the Kirby Krackle. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)

Because Mister Sinister is the hidden force behind literally everything. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)

Rest in Ponytail, Fabian Cortez. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)

“Time to conceive some other on-again, off-again offspring who suck less.” (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)

NEXT TIME: X-Man!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

That thing about the cooking show and spreader bars and Namor that Jay was talking about
Information and pencils from Chris Claremont and Rick Leonardi’s canceled Phoenix miniseries

479 – Nancy Drew and the Secret of Carrion Cove

March 4, 2025 Miles 10 comments

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In which Genosha gets better and/or worse; Fabian Cortez is the Secretary of Betrayal; having an action figure of yourself is the path to immortality; and Hammer Bay sounds like a sex toy company.

X-PLAINED:

Triathlon
The Revolution relaunch and the six-month gap
Magneto: Dark Seduction #1-4
Erotic skyscrapers
Magneto (again) (forever)
X-Men Tijuana Bibles
The Genoshan Cabinet
Dark friendship with benefits
Polaris’s newfound interest in heavy metal
Magneto’s on-again, off-again children
Carrion Cove
Coloring symbolism and/or errors
Spat and Grovel (kind of)
Magneto’s ancestral f**k-ghost
Socialism!
Magneto’s mysterious mind-voice
Neal Conan
The Avengers of 2000
Kirby Krackle
Magneto’s smooth arc into villainy
Bonking
Human nature
Rachel Summers in the Body Shoppe
Our (lack of) coverage of solo comics

NEXT EPISODE: X-Man!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

461 – Things to Do in Denver When You’re X-Force

September 1, 2024 Jay 8 comments

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In which Magneto may be right but is also wildly impractical; X-Force goes on a sneaking mission; Magneto isn’t mad, he’s just disappointed; Rictor and Shatterstar return; Strong is not a common surname in the Marvel universe; and being a mutant on TV doesn’t mean you’re one in the comics.

X-PLAINED:

How Jubilee became a vampire
The most X-treme youth of them all
X-Force 94-95
X-Force Annual 1999
Genosha
Butler disambiguation
Clown jobs
A team-up predicated on an awkward breakup
Hammer Town
Delphi
Memory boxes
Several potential continuity error
Names
Genoshan robots
Archie
A hierarchy of potential fates
Vershiagen Industries and/or Vershlagen Industries
V2
Hanrancha
Stronghold
Martin Strong
Freddie
Michelle Balters (Neurotap) (more) (again)
Communication with X-teams
A sudden and depressing resolution
Continuity across media
Why Gambit doesn’t (usually) throw tarot cards

NEXT EPISODE: The Return of the Hellions (kinda)

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 452 – Hot Nothing

June 9, 2024 Jay 2 comments

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That can’t be comfortable. (Magneto Rex #1)

One way to put a fire out. (Magneto Rex #1)

Phillip Moreau and Jenny Ransome. (Magneto Rex #1)

This freakin’ loser. (Magneto Rex #1)

The Zealot. (Magneto Rex #1)

Uncool, dude. (Magneto Rex #1)

Ferris endures. (Magneto Rex #2)

“You may have the Legacy Virus, but the L is still for ‘loser.'” (Magneto Rex #2)

This would have been way more dramatic if he’d been naked, right? (Magneto Rex #2)

That’s certainly one way to deal with your problems. (Magneto Rex #3)

That is in fact exactly what he means. (Magneto Rex #3)

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men ’97!

LINKS & OTHER ACADEMIA:

The book Jay mentioned is The Metaphysics of Fiction, by Amie L. Thomasson
Star Trek: Into Darkness was not a very good movie.

452 – Hot Nothing

June 9, 2024 Jay 9 comments

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In which Magneto is not full of mirth; nobody real or fictional likes Fabian Cortez; when you’re a speedster, every problem is a metaphorical nail; The Zealot makes some valid points; and when Quicksilver declares himself your conscience, it’s time to examine your life.

X-PLAINED:

How Magneto got his powers back
Morally ambiguous hair
Genosha (more) (again)
Magneto Rex #1-3
Magneto vs. Conan
Trish Tilby
Omniscient narrative condemnation
Magneto’s true archfoe
Magistrates (more) (again)
Mutates (more) (again)
Dr. Alda Huxley
Phillip Moreau (more) (again)
Jenny Ransome (more) (again)
Pipeline (Cormac Grimshaw)
Teleportational nudity
The Zealot
Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
Amelia Voght (more) (again)
Several of Magneto’s on-again-off-again children
The Bastille (but not that one)
Mutant numbering
When to use full frontal nudity in your comic
The X-books we’re not covering
The Amulet of Right vs the Sword of Might

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men ’97!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 309 – Excellent Turtle

September 27, 2020 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Really, who wouldn’t fall for him? (Excalibur #87)

Okay, then. (Excalibur #87)

Sugar Man doesn’t really add anything to the Genosha storyline. (Excalibur #87)

Cover > comic. (Excalibur #88)

Seriously, WHAT DID HE WRITE WITH? (Excalibur #88)

WE HAVE FUN. (Excalibur #88)

Okay, fair. (Excalibur #89)

This is some old-school mystery comic staging, and I AM HERE FOR IT. (Excalibur #89)

Sure, why not? (Excalibur #90)

Damnit, Black Air! (Excalibur #90)

I bet they’re great at parties. (Excalibur #90)

…Okay, then. (Excalibur #90)

Ha, ha, Pete Wisdom’s life is worse than yours. (Excalibur #90)

I’m not gonna say this is the MOST ominous narration ever superimposed over a hookup, but it’s up there. (Excalibur #90)

Rory Campbell is anti-mutant, but he’s also just a raging asshole. (Excalibur #89)

DRAMATIC PARALLELS! (Excalibur #90)

NEXT EPISODE: Swingers in space.

309 – Excellent Turtle

September 27, 2020 Jay 12 comments

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In which ballistics get weird; Black Air is no W.H.O.; we have surprisingly mixed feelings about Pete Wisdom and Kitty Pryde as a couple; there is an actual creepy clown bar in Portland; blood eagles are excessively ostentatious; the Uncreated just want to be cool; and Rory Campbell continues his descent into supervillainy.

X-PLAINED:

The Forever Man
Turner D. Century
Excalibur #87-90
Excalibur (more) (again)
Genosha (more) (again)
Some extremely confusing bullets
Philip Moreau
Jenny Ransome
Black Air
Dream Nails
Spy bars
Foundations of Kitty Pryde and Pete Wisdom’s relationship
Captions
Work/life separation
A creepy clown bar
Easy Tiger
Blood eagles
Shrine
A virus and/or bacteria
The Uncreated
Gor the God-Butcher
Data security
Rory Campbell vs. Spoor
How the X-Men got their name
Terrigen toxicity

NEXT EPISODE: Starjammers!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 239 – Rap and Rumble (feat. Max Carleton)

March 18, 2019 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Awkward Family Portraits: The Avengers Edition (Avengers #368)

Nick, no. (Avengers #368)

The Avengers were not always Marvel’s A-List team. (Avengers #368)

TFW your kid gets replaced by a shapeshifter and then explodes. (Avengers #368)

“Mr. Agent” BWAHAHAHAHA (Avengers #368)

Trolling Henry Peter Gyrich is the real superheroism. (Avengers #368)

“Just like Dracula would.” (Avengers #368)

Oh, hey, it’s the yelling disembodied head of Charles Xavier! (Avengers #368)

Everyone else is rushing into battle; and there’s Cap, just, like, “FORGET THIS I’M GONNA FIGHT THE SKY” (X-Men #26)

Good work, Mr. Agent. (X-Men #26)

Avengers West Coast #101

Hawkeye should enter every room this way. (Avengers West Coast #101)

Genosha: Still the Goddamn Worst. (Avengers West Coast #101)

Did they, though? I kind of suspect he named himself that. (Uncanny X-Men #307)

The cover IS the trading card. (Avengers #69)

1993 seems like a little late to have two yelling Xavier heads in one story, but you do you.(Avengers #69)

Well, he sure pontificates like Magneto. (Avengers #69)

And yet, he won’t be out for another decade and change. (Avengers #69)

NEXT EPISODE: Live at Emerald City Comic Con, with Vita Ayala, Seanan McGuire, and Leah Williams!

LINKS & FURTHER MAXIMOFFS:

Max Carleton is an unmitigated delight! Here’s where you can check out more of his work:
- Read Max’s comics about comics at Waiting for the Trade!
- Follow him on Twitter!
- Hear Max and Tina dive into the weird and somewhat horrifying world of Once Upon a Time in Welcome to Storybrooke…
- …and find their secret podcast by supporting them on Patreon!
- Then come back and listen to Max and Jay talk about the wonders and horrors of the X-Men anime in our Episode 115 – So Many Teeth.
Life on the Infinite Farm, by Richard Evan Schwartz
Erdös Numbers
Aud Koch’s impressive take on Viv Vision’s family tree
Seriously, Marvel, give Aud all your mystical characters immediately.

239 – Rap and Rumble (feat. Max Carleton)

March 18, 2019 Jay 17 comments

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In which we enter the era of bomber jackets; the covers are the cards; Genosha remains neither green nor pleasant; the A is for “Avengers,” not “A-list”; Henry Peter Gyrich is the straightest of men; Cyclops sets an important precedent; Exodus is a huge jerk; we speculate about movies we have definitely not seen; Stephen Strange is not a qualified OBGYN; the Avengers are really weird even by our standards; and Max manages to connect two of Marvel’s most complicated family trees.

X-PLAINED:

One way to name babies
Blood Ties
Infinite bomber jackets
Avengers #368-369
X-Men #26
Avengers West Coast #101
Uncanny X-Men #307
Several very fancy covers
A shadow government, but not that kind of shadow government
Genosha (more) (again)
The Avengers, as of 1993
A special delegation
The Genoshan resistance
U.S. Agent
A time Cyclops told someone other than Dracula to follow their heart
The many belts of Nicholas Fury
Several members of the Maximoff family (more) (again)
Black Knight (Dane Whitman)
Sersi
A very drawn-out fight
Roy Thomas dialogue
The racist icing on the racist cake
Exodus (Bennet du Paris)
Diplomacy, kind of
Apolitical avenging
Magneto’s dream
A green and pleasant beverage
Yet another energy-dome-enclosed crisis
The giant, angry disembodied head of Charles Xavier
What is definitely the actual plot of the Purge movies
The surprisingly torrid private lives of the Maximoffs
Scarlet Witch and Vision’s kids
Master Pandemonium and his weird baby hands
Damian Hellstrom
How we’d handle Magneto’s family in modern Marvel
Robopaternity
A possible link between the Summers and Maximoff families

NEXT EPISODE: Live at Emerald City Comic Con, with Vita Ayala, Seanan McGuire, and Leah Williams!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 208 – The X-Patriots

August 5, 2018 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Prodigal Was Right. (X-Factor #81)

No matter how many times I look at this, I still imagine this dude moving like tumbleweed. (X-Factor #82)

HEY, LOOK, MARVEL GOT A NEW LICENSE! (X-Factor #82)

Havok: Actually a reasonably good boss! (X-Factor #82)

I spent a LOT of time googling jaw injuries to try to figure out what the hell the hardware on Lorna’s face is supposed to be. Verdict: IT’S A MYSTERY. (X-Factor #82)