jean grey – Page 16 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 180 – Lawful Badass

January 14, 2018 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

What you see is pretty much what you get. (Uncanny X-Men #281)

Cybernetic fuckboys. Don’t worry, they’re all going to die soon. For now. Mostly. (Uncanny X-Men #281)

That is… certainly some dialogue, there. (Uncanny X-Men #281)

And that’s why she’s the boss. (Uncanny X-Men #281)

“We eat dinner naked. It’s very sexy. And then we do the sexy dishes, sexily.” (Uncanny X-Men #281)

Oh, no! Not Bevatron! (Uncanny X-Men #281)

If you had told me a year ago that there was armor worse than Cameron Hodge’s ruby quartz armor, I would not have believed you. Mea culpa. (Uncanny X-Men #281)

Oh, no, not again. (Uncanny X-Men #281)

OH HELL YES. (Uncanny X-Men #282)

Professor X is kind of a sore winner. (Uncanny X-Men #282)

And then, suddenly, Storm was telekinetic. (Uncanny X-Men #282)

That’s gotta sting. (Uncanny X-Men #282)

“But first, The Very Hungry Caterpillar.” (Uncanny X-Men #282)

Earth-1191 is AMAZING. (Uncanny X-Men #282)

I really want to know if all these criminals dressed up special for the occasion, or if this is just what everyone hangs out looking like in the future. (Uncanny X-Men #282)

ABOUT DAMN TIME. (See what I did, there?) (Uncanny X-Men #282)

“Ha, ha!” (Uncanny X-Men #283)

Aw, this kid. (Uncanny X-Men #283)

“I’m going to the comics shop to cancel my subscription RIGHT NOW!” (Uncanny X-Men #283)

Bishop, I know you come from a difficult timeline, but even you have to appreciate how rad that Walt Simonson Archangel design is. (Uncanny X-Men #283)

Are… Iceman and Colossus levitating? (Uncanny X-Men #283)

This is why we–or at least the Upstarts–can’t have nice things. (Uncanny X-Men #283)

NEXT EPISODE: Guns ‘n’ Pouches!

180 – Lawful Badass

January 14, 2018 Jay 59 comments

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In which Jay is deeply invested in The Gifted; Trevor Fitzroy is generally inexcusable; there are a lot of reasons to be uncomfortable in the Hellfire Club; the mix just got altered in this little clambake; Jean Grey (kind of) dies (again); Earth-1191 gives the Age of Apocalypse some glam competition; Lucas Bishop is a pretty decent metaphor for fan culture; everyone is probably Kang the Conqueror; and now Miles really has no excuse for not watching The Prisoner.

X-PLAINED:

The Chronomancer and his Chronobots
The Gifted
Lucas Bishop’s creative origins
Trevor Fitzroy
Goatee Theory
X-Factor #67
Uncanny X-Men #281-283
Dapper Lesbian Shinobi Shaw
A briefly useful mnemonic
Cybernetic fuckboys
The return of Warren Kenneth Worthington III’s hair
Beef and Bevatron
The deaths of the Hellions
Warhammer
Some of the challenges of X-Plaining the ’90s
Bringing a knife to a Sentinel fight
Bantam
A bunch of bad guys from the future
Bishop
Randall
Malcolm
Earth-1191
The Gamemaster
X-Men we’d like to see come out as trans (revisited)
Whether either or both of us are Kang the Conquerer

NEXT EPISODE: Pouches and Guns

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 178 – Giant-Size Special #6

January 7, 2018 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

The All-New, All-Yelling X-Men! (X-Men #1)

Say what you want about Jim Lee’s art, but his Magneto is GREAT. (X-Men #1)

You’d think S.H.I.E.L.D. would pay Nick Fury enough to buy a suit that fits. (X-Men #1)

Fun fact: almost every spot illustration of an X-Man that you’ve ever seen comes from this or the following issue. (X-Men #1)

We are worried about Psylocke. (X-Men #1)

CORRECTION: Gambit did not kiss Jean. He kissed a robot replica of Jean, which then exploded. We regret the error, but Gambit probably regrets it more. (X-Men #1)

LOOK AT THIS FASHION GOD. (X-Men #1)

“Also, one of them has an underscore in his Twitter handle.” (X-Men #1)

Magneto, master of text. (X-Men #1)

Another image from early in Lee’s tenure that shows up a lot in other publications. (X-Men #2)

Okay, NOW we get it: Nick Fury spent his entire suit budget on pouches. (X-Men #2)

Never not hilarious. (X-Men #2)

We’re just gonna let this page speak for itself. (X-Men #3)

Raise a glass. (X-Men #3)

NEXT EPISODE: Havok gets a job.

OUR PRODUCER MATT HUNTER IS A SUPER RAD DUDE! HERE IS WHERE YOU CAN FIND HIM ON THE INTERNET:

THE 2017 SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE AT X-CELLENCE:

Best Writer: Charles Soule, for Astonishing X-Men
Best Artist: Alessandro Vitti, for Iceman
Best Colorist: Felipe Sobreiro, for Generation X
Best Ongoing Solo Series: Iceman
Best Ongoing Team Series: Generation X
Irene Adler Memorial Award for Most Anticipated Upcoming Series: Storm, by Ta Nehisi Coates and Jen Bartel
How-Was-This-So-Good? Award for a Premise That Shouldn’t Have Worked But Did: “Weapons of Mutant Destruction” by Greg Pak
Cyclops Has A Good Day: Champions #12, for good friends being good friends.
So That Happened: Last page of Jean Grey #10
Nate Grey Award for Best Cross-Dimensional Import: Bloodstorm in X-Men: Blue
Coming Back Strong: Hope Summers in Jean Grey
Norman Osborne Award for Gratuitous Resurrection: Logan
Light of Our Life: Honey Badger
These Deep Cuts Form a Picture: Gifted
Best Non-X Marvel Title: Runaways by Rainbow Rowell and Kris Anka

Classic Corbeaus

Buried Treasure: “Weapon X,” as published in Marvel Comics Presents
You Tried: Chris Claremont, circa 1991
Why Havok Didn’t Finish His Dissertation This Year: He was busy being Magistrate on Genosha
Object Permanence Is Overrated Award for Inconsistent Corporeality: Amanda Sefton
Murder Rainbow Award for Most Entertainingly and Chromatically Redesigned Costumes: Late-run New Mutants
Lurking in the Wings Award: Guido Carosella
Sauron’s Jorts Award for Draculas Who Are Not Draculas but Try Real Hard: Crimson and the Blackbirds
Let Us Never Speak of This Again: Charles Xavier’s swimsuit area as distressingly rendered by Whilce Portacio
Major Christopher Summers Award for Most Awkward Family Reunion: Rachel Summers and Jean Grey in “Days of Future Present”
Kitty Pryde Sartorial Exception of Excellence: The Rocketeer ensemble from X-Men: True Friends
On-the-Nose Award for Effective Use of Heavy-Handed Metaphor: Genosha
Best Jacket Ever Award: Cyclops in X-Factor Forever
Erik the Red Award for Justifying the Existence of This Podcast: Jen Askani
Future Past Award for Most Anticipated Upcoming Series Coverage: X-Factor

AND FINALLY:

Best Listeners of Any Podcast, Ever: YOU. Extra hard, this year.

178 – Giant-Size Special #6

December 24, 2017 Jay 78 comments

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In which we enter a new era of X-Men; Magneto reluctantly returns to villainy; Jay tries to like X-Men volume 2; when in doubt, you should open your story with a space fight; Nick Fury has so many pouches; experimenting on babies unsurprisingly backfires; psychic powers are pink; Claremont deserved better; Producer Matt makes his on-air debut; and you (yes, you!) are once again the recipients of a Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Award for Excellence in X-Cellence.

X-PLAINED:

Loa
The 1991 relaunch of X-Men
X-Men vol. 2 #1-3
Chris Claremont’s departure from Marvel
X-Men vs. Uncanny X-Men
Blue Team
Gold Team
Why Magneto is emblematic of Claremont’s vision for the X-Men
Why there are so many copies of X-Men #1
How comics sales are counted
Our very different perspectives on X-Men #1
A space fight
Revision vs. reversion
What may or may not be in Nick Fury’s pouches
Daring loungewear worn well
Fabian Cortez
Flatscans
Disproportionate escalation
The Acolytes
Delgado, kind of, maybe
Several notable absences
The Magneto Protocols
That one time Magneto got turned into a baby
Some dubious science
A semi-invisible plane
Code Silver
Further miracles of magnetism
Producer Matt Hunter
Chiptunes
Podcasting about video games
The Fourth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
Best X-Toon holiday episodes

NEXT EPISODE: Havok gets a job!

Special thanks to Cordelia for her help on the episode opening!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

173 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 2

November 19, 2017 Jay 43 comments

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In which Abs-lantis will not be denied; “slightly traumatized” is basically the default state of Xavier’s original students; we pick up the slack for Nicieza; Banshee and Moira MacTaggert probably have an active and varied love life; Xavier miscounts the X-Men; we look back over the Claremont/Simonson era of the X-Universe; and Jay makes a case for the re-resurrection of Jean Grey.

X-PLAINED:

X-Men: Red
Namor’s beard
The conclusion of the Muir Island Saga
Uncanny X-Men #280
X-Factor #70.
Cool orange spacesuits that make you immune to telepathy
Off-brand Magneto hats
Literary terrors of our childhoods
Agents DeMarco & Heacock (R.I.P.)
Casual use of nuclear weaponry
The cavalry
The end of the Shadow King
The most dysfunctional timeline
Uncanny X-Men #200-278
The case for an eclectic X-Universe
X-Campus
Resurrections, and when they do and don’t work

NEXT EPISODE: Ed Piskor’s Grand Design

The visual companion to this episode will be up sometime before the end of 2017, by which point Jay’s lungs will hopefully be working again. Yay?

(Seriously, though, fuck this cold. Fuck this cold so much.)

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 172 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 1

November 12, 2017 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

But what if his dialogue also had its OWN tiny captions? (Uncanny X-Men #278)

“And that one dude from Final Fight will help me!” (Uncanny X-Men #278)

But whom could this mysterious stranger be? (Uncanny X-Men #278)

LOOK AT THIS EVIL FASHION QUEEN (Uncanny X-Men #278)

There is nothing okay happening here. (Uncanny X-Men #278)

Here, on the other hand, everything is beautiful and nothing hurts. (Uncanny X-Men #278)

That’s not… I mean… you know what? Never mind. (Uncanny X-Men #278)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Uncanny X-Men #278)

Honestly, there are so many answers to that question. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

His other power is flashbacks. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

And with that, Chris Claremont flew off into space, to explore new horizons. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

Say what you want about her morals; Evil Rogue has a pretty rad costume. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

OH, HELL, YEAH! (Uncanny X-Men #279)

X-Factor’s New Wave era was brief but distinctive. (X-Factor #69)

It really never gets any more okay, does it? (No.) (X-Factor #69)

Why does Reisz suddenly have red hair? WHO KNOWS? IT’S A MYSTERY! (X-Factor #69)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (X-Factor #69)

The Art of War involves some remarkably specific ruminations on spandex. (X-Factor #69)

Wait for it… (X-Factor #69)

YES! (X-Factor #69)

Also 2017 in a nutshell. (X-Factor #69)

WELL, THAT CAN’T BE GOOD. (X-Factor #69)

NEXT EPISODE: Don’t smoke, kids. (Also, the Muir Island Saga concludes.)

LINKS & FURTHER READING

Miles talked about Thor: Ragnarok on Panel on Panels #143!
The Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men Wiki
Roland Hedley, Jr. meets X-Factor

172 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 1

November 12, 2017 Jay 48 comments

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In which you are probably more familiar with this show than Jay and Miles are; Paul Smith makes good art; the Shadow King is so extra that his narration has its own narration; Evil Sexy Moira is a fashion queen; there are absolutely no circumstances in which it is appropriate to use the phrase “fist-o-rama”; Legion gets possessed; and we know absolutely nothing about Pokémon.

X-PLAINED:

Universes where people are other people
What Miles thought of Thor: Ragnorok (spoiler-free)
The Muir Island Saga (Part 1)
Uncanny X-Men #278-279
X-Factor #69
Teflon continuity
Our (lack of) favorite episodes of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
The Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men wiki
An alternate timeline
Corpse telepathy
A diabolical plan, sort of
Topicality
Theft
Sci-Fi Warlord Moira MacTaggert
Improbable aerodynamics
The greatest thing
The death of Peter Nicholas
The uncanny genital valley
Interesting ways to expand Cyclops’s powers
X-Pokémon

NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga concludes!

ART CHALLENGE: Send us your horrifying X-Pokémon! (Note: We were not kidding when we said that we know absolutely nothing about Pokémon, which means that we will probably believe anything you tell us about canon. Have fun!)

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 171 – Badly Punctuated Equilibrium

November 12, 2017 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! https://xplainthexmen.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/X170.mp3

Domestic bliss, X-Factor-style. (X-Factor Forever #1)

Aw, this guy. (X-Factor Forever #1)

Timmy’s grandmother has good judgment. (X-Factor Forever #1)

“Hey, kids! Have some flechettes!” (X-Factor Forever #1)

Dang. Good job, Hank. (X-Factor Forever #1)

“I did, however, find myself some sweet new glasses.” (X-Factor Forever #1)

Every drawing of Apocalypse’s face in this series is utterly delightful. (X-Factor Forever #2)

When writers no-prize the art… (X-Factor Forever #2)

DAMNIT, TIMMY. (X-Factor Forever #2)

Happy birthday, Timmy, I guess? (X-Factor Forever #2)

Well, THAT can’t be good. (X-Factor Forever #3)

This series makes a fairly good case for both mutant rights and subsidized childcare. (X-Factor Forever #3)

How you know it’s serious business. (X-Factor Forever #3)

I love that they have named and numbered all of their special moves. (X-Factor Forever #3)

“Dude, we are literally holding up one of those children, right here, in front of you.” (X-Factor Forever #3)

Well, shit. (X-Factor Forever #3)

Aw, man, this cover is so fun. (X-Factor Forever #4)

If only your boss listened to Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men. (X-Factor Forever #4)

X-Factor, doing what they do best! (X-Factor Forever #4)

BUT WHY ARE THEY ALL DRESSED UP? (X-Factor Forever #4)

Can we all just take a moment to enjoy Sinister’s deeply goofy face in this panel? (X-Factor Forever #4)

“Who’s on first,” Summers family edition. (X-Factor Forever #4)

Seriously, it’s a great reaction image. (X-Factor Forever #4)

Pretty much any variation on this panel will always get me straight in the feels. (X-Factor Forever #4)

“I dunno. What if we just, like, lob a baby at him?” (X-Factor Forever #5)

I just really like this panel. (X-Factor Forever #5)

“You didn’t tell me this was a VACATION,” said Cyclops. (X-Factor Forever #5)

NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga, and the secret origins of this nonsense!

171 – Badly Punctuated Equilibrium

November 5, 2017 Miles 63 comments

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In which 1991 runs right into 2010, X-Factor: Endgame (and everything after it) never happened, Jay covets the hell out of Cyclops’s X-Factor: Forever jacket, Apocalypse’s alternative universe motives are actually pretty fascinating, and Miles will never call his junk Traitorous Unit.

X-PLAINED:

The Strucker siblings (and the Strucker siblings)
X-Factor Forever #1-5
Earth-TRN237
What makes a good Forever comic
The best jacket in the X-universe (and some other redesigns)
MaXimum pants
Ship the ship
The Celestial Host
Dan Panosian’s Smug Apocalypse
The Master Meld variations
Force versus heat (and art versus word balloons)
En Sabah Nur, thoughtful employer
Gammenon the Gatherer and honey-related implements
Combat (and podcasting) maneuver names
The Apocalypse Journal
Eternals versus Deviants versus Inferior, Shitty Humans
Slow, crappy science and adorable mutant rats
Mutant fertility
Arishem the Judge and his magic space-thumb
Definitive versions of characters and their relationships
En Sabah Nur and Your Changing Body
That time X-Factor threw a baby at a robot to save the world
DC Comics’s Hellfire Club
Trans X-Men
But no seriously that jacket

NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga, part 1

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)