illyana rasputin – Page 9 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 48 – Guitar Solos of the Gods

March 15, 2015 Jay 24 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/22/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

X-Men! (X-Men Annual #9)

New Mutants! (X-Men Annual #9)

Check out the gorgeous John R. Neill homage going on in that title card. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)

Karma, transformed. Adams draws her very differently–both more realistically and more recognizably–than Sienkiewicz or Leialoha; and it would be awesome to see a superhero with this as their default shape. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)

Marvel Asgard is basically the land of metal album covers. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)

Aw, Doug. No one appreciates you. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)

Asgardian Wars is chock full of pop-culture cameos and references. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)

GET IT? Not if you weren’t reading Longshot as it was coming out! (New Mutants Special Edition #1)

Warlock in a nutshell. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)

Bobby has found his element. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)

AMARA, WHAT IS THE FIRST RULE OF DEALING WITH FAIRIES? (New Mutants Special Edition #1)

The hands-down most awesome variation on the Darkchylde design. If only this had stuck around. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)

No, seriously, Shan is literally on Arrakis. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)

THE WARRIORS THREE ARE THE BEST AND ANYONE WHO TELLS YOU OTHERWISE IS FULL OF WRONG. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)

Fire-elf Magma. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)

Throughout the nine realms, skalds sing of the masterwork fire extinguishers of Nidavellir. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)

The Dani-becomes-a-Valkyrie arc reminds me of the thing where literally everyone else realizes you’re queer before you do. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)

Another Darkchylde panel, because this costume is just so damn good. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)

IT’S STORM AND SHE’S A HAWK AND SHE HAS A TEENY MOHAWK. That’s all. Carry on with your business. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)

Those title cards, though. (X-Men Annual #9)

What, don’t you have a psychic link with your “roommate”? (X-Men Annual #9)

‘Kay. (X-Men Annual #9)

TOO SOON, RACHEL. TOO SOON. (X-Men Annual #9)

Because I was raised by bleeding-heart feminists in the ’80s, I now have “Free to Be… You and Me” stuck in my head. THANKS, CLAREMONT. (X-Men Annual #9)

Aw, man. (X-Men Annual #9)

I want to see a “What If” splinter story where Sam is an epic hero and also basically Carrot from Discworld. I mean, there kind of is one–“What if the New Mutants Had Stayed in Asgard”–but still. MORE. (X-Men Annual #9)

DANI LITERALLY NO ONE IN THIS ROOM HAS PHYSICAL POWERS. (X-Men Annual #9)

Art Adams draws awesome Warlock. (X-Men Annual #9)

WOLF MAKEOUTS! (X-Men Annual #9)

Subtext: Not just for the ladies! (X-Men Annual #9)

This isn’t directly relevant to the episode. It’s just awesome. (X-Men Annual #9)

NOW LET’S GO DEFEAT THE FRENCH! (X-Men Annual #9)

It’s no KRAKADOOM, but I guess it’ll do. (X-Men Annual #9)

Dani is THE BEST VALKYRIE. (X-Men Annual #9)

“Well, at least I have this 1/6-scale statuette to keep me company.” (X-Men Annual #9)

NEXT WEEK: Rachel and Miles get lucky.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

The Mighty Thor #362 is one of the best issues of one of the best runs in Marvel history.
For craft wonks, we recommend the hell out of the Thor Artist’s Edition, if you can get your hands on a copy.
Actually, you know what? Just go read the whole Simonson run, right now. It’s collected and available in a bunch of forms. You won’t regret it. we promise.
Once you’re done reading Thor, go watch Leverage, because it is wonderful.

48 – Guitar Solos of the Gods

March 15, 2015 Jay 36 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/22/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Asgardian Wars occupies the precise intersection of Miles’s favorite things; Marvel Asgard is your favorite metal album; no one appreciates Cypher; Wolfsbane gets some action; Warlock gets meta; Cannonball is a catch; Rachel Summers gets a new costume; Loki does Shakespeare; and Rachel overthinks Leverage.

X-PLAINED:

Various Mjolnirs and their attendant powers
Asgardian Wars
New Mutants Special Edition #1
X-Men Annual #9
The Surtwar
Art Adams
Amora the Enchantress
Lorelei
Several pop culture cameos
A really dubious beach party
The Viking Sorceress Asgardian Portrait of Dorian Grey
Ed Grimley
Hrimhari
Wolf makeouts
The Marvel version of Norse mythology
The Warriors Three
Rule #1 of dealing with fairies
A hawk ‘hawk
Valkyries
Einherjar
A costume in somewhat questionable taste
Interdimensional lightning-bolt mixology
Our favorite Thor story, ever
How to get your friends and neighbors into comics
Asgardian mutants (or lack thereof)
X-Leverage cross-casting

NEXT WEEK: Longshot!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

46 – Shadows Over Cairo

March 1, 2015 Jay 24 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/8/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which we bid a fond farewell to Bill Sienkiewicz; Secret Wars II continues to ruin everything; the New Mutants end up in an improbable number of gladiatorial arenas; Shadowcat’s secondary mutation is queer subtext; Magik gives no fucks about your crossover event; Warlock transcends storytelling conventions; and Karma rejoins the team.

X-PLAINED:

The chronologically inconsistent mobility of Professor Xavier
The Shadow King
New Mutants #29-34
Steve Leialoha
The Arena (more) (again)
Evil group projects
Easter eggs
Rachel Summers: butch fashion icon
Some major failures of positive size diversity in comics
Madripoor
Ashake
The incredible changing Guthries
The wickedest club in Cairo
Default X-teams
Cypher’s powers

NEXT WEEK: Miles and Elisabeth Allie X-Plain X-Men / Alpha Flight

No visual companion this week, because, reasons.

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Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

39 – Forever Alone Together

January 11, 2015 Jay 8 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and travel mugs available until 1/11/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Miles and his Doom voice return triumphant; we reach an understanding regarding Lila Cheney; Mob science is pretty shoddy; Magneto has fancy hair; New Mutants Xavier is Best Xavier; no one is more goth than Cloak and Dagger; and you can have Rachel’s Speed Racer references when you pry them from her cold, dead hands.

X-Plained:

Spider-Man crossovers
Cats
Marvel Team-Up Annual #6
New Mutants #22-25
Phone calls with bears
Glam day at the Hellfire Club
Rahne’s fairytale
Cloak & Dagger
Drugs
Eldritch curtains
A seriously flawed evil plan
Harry’s Hideaway
The Sam and Dani Show
Magneto’s hair
Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch’s parentage
Waiting for the T
Whether Cloak and Dagger are mutants
How to buy original art

NEXT WEEK: G. Willow Wilson!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 38 – Welcome to Murderworld

January 4, 2015 Jay 19 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and travel mugs available until 1/11/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

Hope you survive the… oh, wait. (Uncanny X-Men #123)

Next Issue: Spider-Man quotes Atlas Shrugged until the Fantastic Four politely ask him to leave. (Uncanny X-Men #123)

Cyclops: the worst at dates, or definitely the worst at dates? (Uncanny X-Men #123)

Pause for a moment to take in the glory of this perfect murder truck and its perfect sound effects. (Uncanny X-Men #123)

Just for the record, we would TOTALLY read a comic about Cracklin’ Rosa. (Uncanny X-Men #123)

Well. That happened. (Uncanny X-Men #123)

Arcade: Really good at his job, until he’s not. (Uncanny X-Men #123)

It’s a “Hope you survive the experience!” riff! Take a drink! (Uncanny X-Men #123)

Cyclops, look, we know you were kind of raised by a supervillain, but pro tip: people who kidnap you and drop you into funhouse death traps ARE GENERALLY NOT TO BE TRUSTED. (Uncanny X-Men #123)

The sound effect in the blast, tho. (Uncanny X-Men #123)

COSPLAY THIS MAN COSPLAY HIM RIGHT NOW (Uncanny X-Men #123)

If Arcade ever makes it to the big screen, he damn well better be played by Jim Rash. Just sayin’. (Uncanny X-Men #123)

Who gift-wraps the hostages? Do they just have those boxes sitting around? WE MAY NEVER KNOW. (Uncanny X-Men #124)

Cyclops solves problems with optic blasts and geometry! Take a drink! (Uncanny X-Men #124)

‘Kay, then. (Uncanny X-Men #124)

Starring the Most Reluctant X-Men Ever (after that one team Jean Grey put together when Magneto had Professor X hostage in the Savage Land, or I guess probably any other version of the team involving Sunfire). (Uncanny X-Men #146)

Let’s take a moment of silence for how much more awesome this panel would be if Arcade were toying idly with a HeroQuest set. (Uncanny X-Men #146)

GOD, Arcade! Don’t you know ANYTHING? (Uncanny X-Men #146)

NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE (Uncanny X-Men #146)

More festive pudding-cup hostages! Why? Why not? (Uncanny X-Men #146)

No, but, seriously. (Uncanny X-Men #146)

Phil and Tobe are the Harvey and Janet of Doom Minions. (Uncanny X-Men #147)

Aw, Tobe. You’re a stand-up minion. (Uncanny X-Men #147)

The hell whaaaaat? (Uncanny X-Men #197)

This is kind of like when you go to someone’s house and you’re looking for the bathroom and you open a door that you’re pretty sure is the door to the bathroom and it’s actually a room full of robots dressed up like all your mutual friends. I mean, that happens to other people, right? (Uncanny X-Men #197)

‘Kay. (Uncanny X-Men #197)

THIS TRAIN MONSTER IS SO GOOD. (Uncanny X-Men #197)

You know she’s been saving that one up for like a year. (Uncanny X-Men #197)

I kind of love Arcade and Miss Locke’s original dynamic, before it got super screwed up and sex-murdery. (Uncanny X-Men #197)

NEXT WEEK: Miles returns, and Cloak and Dagger meet the New Mutants!

Places Where You can Find Chris Sims on the Internets:

LOOK AT ALL THESE PODCASTS
He’s also the senior writer at Comics Alliance!
- Oh, hey, here’s that one article about Arcade that we mentioned in this episode

38 – Welcome to Murderworld (Feat. Chris Sims)

January 4, 2015 Jay 8 comments

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In which we welcome back Emergency Backup Co-Host Chris Sims; comics writers are basically supervillains; Cyclops is not here to have fun; Spider-Man flirts with objectivism; Murderworld is probably not financially sustainable; you should totally cosplay the Proletarian; Arcade may or may not secretly be the Archie Andrews of Earth-616; and Doctor Doom remains absolutely delightful.

X-Plained

Captain Britain
Arcade
Francisco Scaramanga
The vastly inferior Arcade of Earth-1610
Uncanny X-Men #123-124, 146-147, 197
Chris’s first X-Men
A really sweet truck
Spider-Man’s brief flirtation with objectivism
What the X-Men do on their night off
Hella nipples
Murderworld
Miss Locke
Mr. Chambers
Marvel comics in the Marvel Universe
A large number of elaborate deathtraps
Soviet Nick Fury
The Proletarian
Hostage-wrapping
Phil and Tobe
One way to celebrate your birthday
Avengers Arena
Miss Coriander
The best non-X Arcade stories
The end of ~~Axis~~ Sixis
Arcade at the Arcade

NEXT WEEK: Cloak and Dagger!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 37 – Giant-Size Special #1

December 28, 2014 Jay 8 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints available until 1/15 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

Well, that’s a hell of an opening. (God Loves, Man Kills)

Remember when Kitty Pryde was scrappy as hell? (God Loves, Man Kills)

We just really love this dialogue. (God Loves, Man Kills)

In which Xavier and Stryker do their best Carter/Reagan. (God Loves, Man Kills)

TEAMWORK! (God Loves, Man Kills)

Whoa. (God Loves, Man Kills)

OH, HELL, YES. (God Loves, Man Kills)

Classic. (God Loves, Man Kills)

If only this had involved his magnetic personality. But no. Just slightly different torture. (God Loves, Man Kills)

WELL, THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY. (God Loves, Man Kills)

Stryker is such a Bond villain. (God Loves, Man Kills)

Um. Wow. (God Loves, Man Kills)

Magneto is so awesome in this story. (God Loves, Man Kills)

Can we talk about how Brent Anderson is one of the all-time great unsung X-artists? Because he really is. (God Loves, Man Kills)

CHARLES, NOOOOOO (God Loves, Man Kills)

Nightcrawler, you lovable scamp. (God Loves, Man Kills)

“It’s okay! He put it back!” (God Loves, Man Kills)

Damn, Stryker. That’s cold.

Cyclops solves problems with ricochets! Take a drink! (God Loves, Man Kills)

He’s not wrong, but damn. (God Loves, Man Kills)

Even if you’ve not read the book, you’ve probably seen this moment referenced at least once. (God Loves, Man Kills)

We have fairly different feelings about the strengths and weaknesses of this layout, but we agree that it is damn stylish. (God Loves, Man Kills)

Didn’t mention this in the episode, but it’s kind of amazing how directly this penultimate scene visually echoes Xavier’s earlier mid-brainwashing encounter with Stryker. (God Loves, Man Kills)

Next Week: Rachel and Chris Sims X-Plain Arcade!

THE 2014 SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE IN X-CELLENCE

Best X-Writer – Brian Michael Bendis, for Uncanny X-Men, All-New X-Men, and general line architecture
Best X-Artist – Kris Anka, for Uncanny X-Men and general visual and costuming impact
Best X-Colorist – Chris Sotomayor, for Cyclops
Best X-Letterer (Now and Forever) – Tom Orzechowski, for everything ever forever
Jean Grey Award for Creative Resurrection – Nightcrawler (Amazing X-Men)
Best New Character – Forget-Me-Not (X-Men Legacy #300)
Best Complete Arc – Cyclops #1-5, by Greg Rucka, Russell Dauterman, Chris Sotomayor, Carmen Carnero, et. al.
Best Soap Opera – All-New X-Men, by Brian Michael Bendis et. al.
Silver Lining Award – Death of Wolverine: The Logan Legacy #4, by Marguerite Bennett, Juan Doe, et. al.
Golden Retcon – X-Men: Days of Future Past
Irene Adler Award for Most Anticipated Future Run – G. Willow Wilson on X-Men
About Damn Time – Storm, by Greg Pak et. al.
Cyclops Has a Good Day Award – Wolverine and the X-Men #40, by Jason Aaron, Pepe Larraz, et. al.
Best Listeners of Any Podcast Ever – YOU*

*Details of the Corbeau Coloring Contest will go up on Monday, because Rachel’s parents are visiting this weekend. We appreciate your patience.

CLASSIC CORBEAUS (for older X-material covered in the podcast during 2014)

Harvey and Janet Award for Best Walk-On – The staff and guests of the Heartbreak Hotel
Lost Treasure – Beauty and the Beast, by Ann Nocenti, Don Perlin, et. al.
Sure, Why Not? – The Leprechauns of Cassidy Keep
Still the Best Issue After All These Years – Uncanny X-Men vol. 1 #137

LINKS AND ADDITIONAL READING

We are an entirely listener-supported podcast, and features like this Giant-Size episode are made possible by our kickass Patreon subscribers. You can become one of those here.
“You dare call that thing human?”: Classic line from God Loves, Man Kills; AND the title of this X-cellent Adam Warrock album.
Bobby interviewed us this episode, but we totally interviewed him first. So there.
Miles’s favorite episode.
Rachel’s favorite episode.
This one was fun, too.

37 – Giant-Size Special #1

December 28, 2014 Jay 41 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which we launch our first-ever giant-size special; God Loves, Man Kills is the definitive X-Men story; Bobby makes his R&MXtXM on-air debut; we repopulate the world with X-writers; Rachel is really excited about x-plaining X-Cutioner’s Song; Miles takes a strong stance on Wolverine’s mask; we award some awards; and it’s all your fault.

X-Plained

God Loves, Man Kills (Marvel Graphic Novel #5)
William Stryker
An inappropriate analogy
Keeping it interesting
Favorite episodes
Bridging the fan/critic divide
Our ongoing obsession with bit characters
The challenge of keeping Charles Xavier relevant
X-Planation Curation
Several stories we’re really looking forward to covering
X-Writers on a desert island
Internet fights
Favorite stories vs. best stories
Stupid hats of the Marvel Universe
Dr. Doom as Tim Gunn
Havok vs. ceiling fans
Educational standards of the Marvel Universe
The First Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence in X-Cellence

NEXT WEEK: Rachel and Chris Sims X-Plain Arcade

CORRECTION: In this episode, Rachel claims that there is only one Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau in the Marvel Multiverse. This is patently untrue. There are numerous versions of Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau in the Marvel Multiverse, who may or may not be able to combine Voltron-style into a giant Corbeau Singularity.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Because You Demanded It: X-Men Last-Minute Gift Guide

December 22, 2014 Jay 7 comments

Art by Sal Buscema and Karl Bollers, Marvel Holiday Special 1994 one-shot (1994) — Art by Sal Buscema and Karl Bollers, *Marvel Holiday Special 1994 one-shot* (1994)

HI, LISTENERS! Some of you have been asking us to write an X-Men holiday gift guide. We think it’s very thoughtful of you to consider purchasing gifts for fictional characters, and to help you out, we have created this handy last-minute guide! Click through for our picks for Beast, Shadowcat, and six more…

THE COMPLETE GUMBY

FOR: Beast. We already know Hank McCoy is a fan of Art Clokey’s weird green guy–in fact, back in his Defenders days, he used to collect and trade bootleg Gumby VHSs (seriously–it’s canon). Modern Beast has been having a rough time; give him an excuse to unwind with seven disks’ worth of psychedelic claymation, and maybe a plate of pot brownies.

(And now we’re imagining a stoner comedy starring Hank McCoy and Abigail Brand. MARVEL. CALL US.)

WHAT HE’D PREFER: Moral certitude.

BACKUP GIFT:Dr. Strange: A Separate Reality, by Steve Englehart and Frank Brunner, because you know Beast would be super into a comic about a buddy of his that two dudes literally wrote while wandering around Central Park tripping balls in the middle of the night.

RIP IT: HOW TO DECONSTRUCT AND RECONSTRUCT THE CLOTHES OF YOUR DREAMS, BY ELISSA MYRICH

FOR: Shadowcat. The X-Men’s most die-hard superfashionista can always use another tool in her arsenal–after all, you never know when you’ll find yourself hankering for a new costume with no Shi’ar tech in sight.

WHAT SHE’D PREFER: A canonical girlfriend.

BACKUP GIFT: The Complete Elfquest, vol. 1.

MAGNUM, P.I.’S SIGNATURE HAWAIIAN SHIRT

FOR: Sunspot. I mean, Bobby da Costa probably already owns one of these, or six, but you can really never have too many backup Magnum, P.I. shirts, right?

WHAT HE’D PREFER: To actually be Magnum, P.I.

BACKUP GIFT: A signed pinup of Tom Selleck.

THE REQUISITE UGLY HOLIDAY SWEATER

FOR: Cyclops. Left to his own devices, Scott Summers basically dresses like a six-year-old and has a long tradition of happily sporting really, really horrible sweaters; so you know he’ll at least get some use from it. (Plus, if he hates it, he’ll probably be too polite to say anything.)

WHAT HE’D PREFER: A world in which he’s functionally irrelevant.

BACKUP GIFT: Socks.

ERROL FLYNN FILM COLLECTION

FOR: Nightcrawler. Kurt Wagner is a huge Errol Flynn fan, to the point of modifying his image inducer to reproduce the visage of the classic swashbuckler; so he’s sure to enjoy a boxed set of Flynn’s most famous films.

WHAT HE’D PREFER: A soul.

BACKUP GIFT: A collection of John Donne sonnets.

LOCAS: THE MAGGIE AND HOPIE STORIES, BY JAIME HERNANDEZ

FOR: Magik. I have no actual narrative justification for this. I just think Magik would really dig some Love & Rockets.

WHAT SHE’D PREFER: Nothing your fragile mortal mind can grasp, kid.

BACKUP GIFT: A iPod preloaded with pop-culture nostalgia podcasts. For someone who runs with the unusually pop-savvy New Mutants, Illyana has spent relatively little of her life with any kind of media access.

CLASSIC X-MEN PVC SET

FOR: Iceman. Bobby Drake is all about original-five nostalgia, and he’s kind of a goofball, so he would probably enjoy the hell out of this X-Men PVC set, featuring the original team, Professor X, and Magneto (and one of the better Iceman sculpts out there).

WHAT HE’D PREFER: For Professor X to still be alive and everyone to be friends again.

BACKUP GIFT: An Elsa tiara.

ALL SEVEN SEASONS OF DESIGNING WOMEN

FOR: Rogue. Look, Rogue does not need another pair of fancy gloves. What Rogue needs is seven seasons of the most badass, progressive, Bechdel-test-acing Southern-lady sitcom of all time.

WHAT SHE’D PREFER: A three-day bender with Julia Sugarbaker, and maybe conscious control over her powers.

BACKUP GIFT: Another pair of fancy gloves.