Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: illyana rasputin

300 – Götterdämmerung

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Age of Apocalypse comes to an end; Angel briefly lives up to his potential; Bishop was sometimes right; It’s not a climactic ending without an X-Men #137 reference; Colossus breaks our hearts; X-Men: Marvels Snapshot will be out in September; and somehow we have made 300 of these things.

X-PLAINED:

  • Beast vs. Dark Beast
  • X-Men: Omega
  • The entirety of the (first) Age of Apocalypse
  • Potpourri vs. incense
  • Dramatic hair
  • Many, many errors
  • Unforeseen consequences
  • A long-anticipated team-up
  • Many deaths
  • Art as artifact
  • Narration that has haunted Jay for 20 years
  • One of the more persistent deaths of David Haller
  • Blast Attack
  • The end of a world
  • Refugees from the Age of Apocalypse
  • Our favorite X-milestone issues
  • Theoretical teams
  • Orphans
  • When X-Men: Marvels Snapshot is actually coming out
  • Our favorite show bits
  • How Jay’s chickens-in-law are doing

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men Prime

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As Mentioned in Episode 293 – The Monster Under the World

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Almost as cool as the way the backgrounds of the Marvel Universe Series 3 trading cards can be laid out as two giant space-pictures.
Husk, you’ve changed! And Chamber, you… have a face! (Generation Next #1)
Red and yellow outfit, banded metal skin, muscles on muscles, utterly broken by the world… I guess Earth-295 isn’t that different. (Generation Next #1)
We’ve seen Kitty bully younger mutants before… just usually not with as much stabbing. (Generation Next #1)
“I mean, we don’t want them to be inexperienced at dying, do we?” (Generation Next #1)
Know-It-All is pretty sure the depiction of technology in Hackers is way too bland and boring. (Generation Next #1)
Drums. Drums in the deep. (Generation Next #2)
Do minibuses look like that? No. But should they? (Generation Next #2)
This was one of the weirder anti-smoking PSAs of the 90s. (Generation Next #2)
Quietus is troubling. (Generation Next #2)
Paige has a zero-tolerance policy for Monty Python references. (Generation Next #2)
Only Chris Bachalo could make relatively normal people and monsters like that look at home in the same panel. (Generation Next #3)
“Like, the spiritual concept, not like Xi’an from New Muta… You know what, never mind.” (Generation Next #3)
Weirdly, I’ve had this exact same dream. (Generation Next #3)
Meanwhile, everything is terrible. (Generation Next #3)
YIP! (Generation Next #3)
Enclosed V Exposed: Dawn of Panel Layouts (Generation Next #4)
And then Sugar Man ate through his own mangled corpse and burrowed into the next scene. As one does. (Generation Next #4)
noooooo (Generation Next #4)
NOOOOOOOO (Generation Next #4)
Not to downplay the effectiveness of SPLOT SPLANG BONK THOPP, but it’s those irregular, sharp panel borders that really sell the impact. (Generation Next #4)
It all happens so quickly. (Generation Next #4)
And I’ll remember those panels for the rest of my life. (Generation Next #4)
Ever. (Generation Next #4)
NEXT EPISODE: Happy Mother’s Day!

293 – The Monster Under the World

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which not all Mondos are created equal; the kids are only rarely all right; the Age of Apocalypse is not Magneto’s fault; Sugar Man is the stuff of universal nightmares; “cartoonish” is not necessarily a plus; and the Age of Apocalypse is not particularly sustainable.

X-PLAINED:

  • Generation Next #1-4
  • The tradition of YA horror in X-books
  • Bachalo unchained
  • Whose fault the Age of Apocalypse is
  • Adaptive technology vs. Apocalypse
  • Chamber of Earth-295
  • Husk of Earth-295
  • Skin of Earth-295
  • Mondo of Earth-295
  • Vincente Cimetta
  • Know-It-All (Claudia)
  • An abysmal training exercise
  • Colossus of Earth-295
  • Shadowcat of Earth-295
  • Gardner Monroe (Flashback)
  • Quietus
  • Sugar Man
  • The Portland and/or Seattle Core
  • Illyana Rasputin
  • Ace
  • Human collaborators
  • A gratuitous Monty Python reference
  • The difference between mass and volume
  • Number Six
  • The fall of Generation Next
  • Growing up in the Age of Apocalypse
  • Illyana 2.0
  • Subtext vs. queerbaiting

NEXT EPISODE: X-Calibre!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 276 – Wizard Problems

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I’m still kind of angry that this isn’t the interior art style. (Excalibur #83)
But are there roller skates? (Excalibur #83)
Still creepy; still cool. (Excalibur #83)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #83)
There’s something very Philip Bond about this pair of panels; and I, for one, am here for it. (Excalibur #83)
Ew. (Excalibur #83)
Evil Kitty’s hair is SO GREAT. (Excalibur #84)
Seriously. So. Excellent. (Excalibur #84)
Is it, though? (Excalibur #84)
Purple on purple. (Excalibur #84)
“Magic, subtext, whatever.” (Excalibur #84)
Choices, choices. (Excalibur #84)
It’s like when a character has been written out of a show but the actor’s contract isn’t up so they have to keep doing flashbacks. (Excalibur #85)
Starring Eliot Spencer as Wolverine. (Excalibur #85)
That’s just… not true. Like, at all. (Excalibur #85)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (Excalibur #85)
Next Episode: Jorts Unlimited!

LINKS & FURTHER DIVERSIONS:

276 – Wizard Problems

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Excalibur gets a regular writer again; we judge a book against against its covers; nothing good ever comes from being sexy on Muir Isle; and the soul sword’s real power is cutting through continuity.

X-PLAINED:

  • Stegron
  • Dinosaur powers
  • Excalibur #83-85 (The Soul Sword Trilogy)
  • Warren Ellis on Excalibur
  • Excalibur (more) (again)
  • Bends Sinister and Bend Sinister
  • Outsider days
  • Mail
  • Boundaries
  • Darkoth
  • Gravemoss
  • The Winding Way
  • Shrill
  • A problematic prosthesis
  • Roger Corman’s The Raven
  • A large number of continuity errors
  • Gratuitous dickery
  • An untold tale
  • The semantics of skin removal
  • Possession vs. retrograde amnesia
  • The circle of nostalgia

NEXT EPISODE: Jorts Unlimited!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 235 – Fatal Extractions

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
If there’s anything I look for in an event anniversary issue, it’s an interrupted funeral. (Uncanny X-Men #304)
Nobody likes Fabian Cortez. (Uncanny X-Men #304)
“Always alone… and always dramatic.” (Uncanny X-Men #304)
Speaking of dramatic… (Uncanny X-Men #304)
One of the best of many callbacks. (Uncanny X-Men #304)
Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men #304)
I’m curious about a lot of the inclusions and exclusions in this crowd. (Uncanny X-Men #304)
BEHOLD! (Uncanny X-Men #304)
“We live in space.” (Uncanny X-Men #304)
I wonder how many issues have had variations on this title. (X-Men #25)
HE’S VERY CLEARLY FACING AWAY. (X-Men #25)
Dang, Magneto. (X-Men #25)
“Professor, this plan is terrible.” (X-Men #25)
This implies that Xavier’s decision to wipe Magneto’s mind was the plan from the start… (X-Men #25)
Dr. Spock would like a word with you, Magneto. (X-Men #25)
“Damnit, that was my favorite shirt!” (X-Men #25)
That’s gotta smart. (X-Men #25)
…Well, damn. (X-Men #25)
Please note that even bereft of his mind, Magneto’s cape is DRAMATIC AS HELL. (X-Men #25)
NEXT EPISODE: Reality bites.

235 – Fatal Extractions (Fatal Attractions, Part 2)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Magneto may or may not own a Namor body pillow; Cyclops probably doesn’t color-code his files; Colossus is Not Okay; bats are nature’s flashers; there are a lot of reasons to be mad at Fatal Attractions; Charles Xavier is surprisingly durable; the X-Men know their Aeschylus; Jean Grey goes in through the face; and bringing Wolverine to fight the guy who controls metal was probably not a great idea.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mutant Alpha
  • Uncanny X-Men #304
  • X-Men #25
  • False foreshadowing
  • Costume storage and display
  • Relative moral event horizons
  • The character dehabilitation of Magneto
  • The Magneto Protocols
  • How Cyclops organizes his files
  • An excellent eulogy
  • The complicated legacy of Illyana Rasputin
  • Several noteworthy absences
  • A memorable funeral
  • The ‘behold’ thing
  • A protective mesh of electromagnetic fire
  • A well-played callback
  • A strategically dubious plan
  • Several Prometheus Bound quotations
  • An uncharitable assumption
  • The blood-brain barrier
  • A severe costume injury
  • The definitive scene of Fatal Attractions
  • The root of Onslaught
  • Which X-Men would podcast
  • Our preferred comics formats

NEXT EPISODE: Colossus still can’t catch a break

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 230 – Touchstones

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Or, alternately, read something that won’t make you cry? You do you. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
Nobody stands casually like that. NOBODY. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
Another scene from the alternate universe where A Fish Called Wanda was a heartwarming tearjerker about friendship and loss. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
I just. The art. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
Jean X-Plains Kitty and Illyana. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
“It won’t save her, but she’ll at least get to play some Rad Racer.” (Uncanny X-Men #303)
Aw, man. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
AW, MAN. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
Andy Kubert is really exceptionally good at drawing kisses and almost-kisses. (X-Men #24)
(It’s okay. They’ll work it out.) (X-Men #24)
I really appreciate Beast’s casual use of the word “panache” here. (X-Men #24)
Aw, these kids. (X-Men #24)
…which is the cat, and which the mouse, and which the mousecat, and which the catmouse, and… (X-Men #24)
If you need me, I’ll be over here, crying. (X-Men #24)
These two have been written pretty unevenly over the years, so it’s easy to forget how good a couple they can be. (X-Men #24)
CEILING MAGNETO IS WATCHING YOU… well, you get the idea. (X-Men #24)
What If: Magik is very much the story Illyana should have had.
This comic! (What If: Magik)
Dr. Strange, Master of the Mystic Arts, Kind of Bad at the Whole Person Thing. (What If: Magik)
I really wish I could just drop this whole comic into the visual companion, because it’s ALL this gorgeous. (What If: Magik)
My heart. (What If: Magik)
Aw, these two awkward sorcerer friends. (What If: Magik)
That’s. My. Girl. (What If: Magik)
NEXT EPISODE: The other X-Cutioner!

LINKS & OTHER TRAGEDIES:

230 – Touchstones

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which tragedy strikes; leisure suits are underappreciated; Jubilee is fundamentally opposed to feelings; that MCU joke would definitely have been hilarious; we have trouble accepting Beast as a 20-something; when Gambit and Rogue work, they work; Wolverine makes an unlikely agony aunt; Dr. Strange was the mentor Illyana Rasputin really needed; and What If: Magik is pretty much a perfect comic.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Human High Council
  • Many terrible things that have happened to the Rasputin family
  • Uncanny X-Men #303
  • X-Men #24
  • What If: Magik
  • A tonal disconnect
  • Leisure Suit Larry
  • A prospective movie marathon
  • Insecurity
  • Molecular Cohesion Unit
  • The death of Illyana Rasputin (and its aftermath)
  • Death in America
  • A dubious idea for a theme park
  • A reunion
  • Papa Gumbo’s Cajun Cookout
  • Illyana Rasputin and Dr. Strange
  • Navigating vs. erasing trauma
  • Why What If: Magik is absolutely amazing
  • How to cite X-Men volumes
  • Earth-242 (Earth on Fire)

NEXT EPISODE: The other X-Cutioner!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 228 – Thinkin’ Shorts

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I mean, it’s not that much worse than Botox. (Uncanny X-Men #301)
Of all the people Gamesmaster could choose to bring to the forefront of his mind, he chose these assholes. (Uncanny X-Men #301)
I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING (Uncanny X-Men #301)
Yes, yes, you’ve made some terrible mistakes, Forge – but at least you’re wearing those shorts again! (Uncanny X-Men #301)
Miles would totally buy that action figure. (Uncanny X-Men #301)
This is how you comic book. (Uncanny X-Men #301)
Damn, Romita. Damn, Storm. (Uncanny X-Men #302)
Just repeat to yourself: it’s just a show, I should really just relax! (Uncanny X-Men #302)
Plato called this “the noble lie”. (Uncanny X-Men #302)
You know, I guess that is about how you’d have to angle your hips if you were balancing on one leg because some green-haired jerk from the future cut off your other one. (Uncanny X-Men #302)
Should’ve known that guy was a racist asshole – look at the color of his baseball cap. (Uncanny X-Men #302)
Can’t blame the guy – for being furious or for pummeling Fitzroy. (Uncanny X-Men #302)
Yes, Jay, Kitty looks pretty weird in this panel, but – FEELINGS! (Uncanny X-Men #302)
Dammit, Friends of Humanity, give Madrox his outfit back! And also stop being murderous bigots! (X-Force #24)
Rusty and Skids have been focusing pretty hard on good posture since leaving the New Mutants. (X-Force #24)
Who has the worse employees, Sam Guthrie or Alex Summers? (X-Force #24)
“Thanks for holding me up while I practice my Liefeld kicks, buddy!” (X-Force #24)
Petey the Dog reference: $34.95. Improbable toaster gun: $1750.00. The look on Grizzly’s face: priceless.(X-Force #24)
Magneto is the best at Space Tetris. (X-Force #24)
Boom-Boom and Feral: best frenemies ever. (X-Force #24)
Remember, at least two of these characters used to train with X-Factor. (X-Force #24)
Boom-Boom and Feral: still the best frenemies ever. (X-Force #24)
Fair enough, kids. (X-Force #24)
Jay’s Warlock figure still kinda freaks Miles out.
Next time: our fifth annual Giant-Size Winter Special!