Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 210 – The End of Tomorrow

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
What Rogue’s wearing was actually our school uniform back in 1992! (Uncanny X-Men #294)
Scott, you chowderhead. (Uncanny X-Men #294)
Do NOT invite Caliban to your wedding. Or probably to anything. (Uncanny X-Men #294)
You know, sometimes Professor Xavier really isn’t a jerk. (Uncanny X-Men #294)
Professor Xavier is shot in the dark future of Earth-811… (New Mutants #18)
…and in the dark present of Earth-616. (Uncanny X-Men #294)
Kids, your day is not going to get better from here. (Uncanny X-Men #294)
Have we mentioned we love Jae Lee’s art? We love Jae Lee’s art. (X-Factor #84)
At karaoke, Archangel’s voice is just okay, but his performance is 10/10. (X-Factor #84)
I mean, let’s be real – that’s pretty hot. (X-Factor #84)
EVERYBODY FIGHTS EVERYBODY (X-Factor #84)
The X-Men are so good at posing in this era. (X-Factor #84)
“Dear diary: I finally said it! I said the line!” (X-Factor #84)
Man, Andy Kubert could draw someone doing their taxes and it’d look superheroic. (X-Men #14)
Except that time 16 years later when you shoot him in the head, ya doof. (X-Men #14)
Jean Grey: CGC 8.4 Scott Summers: CGC 7.2 (X-Men #14)
Not Rictor’s best pickup line… But also not his worst. (X-Men #14)
Apocalypse, you have got to turn your shower temperature down. That hot water is awful for your skin. (X-Men #14)
That’s a clove cigarette, in case you can’t tell. (X-Men #14)
X-Force: both very sympathetic and very colorful! I miss when badasses wore colors other than black. (X-Force #16)
EVERYBODY FIGHTS EVERYBODY SOME MORE (X-Force #16)
“You see, Piotr, this is how we entered every building back in our X-Factor days!” (X-Force #16)
Mister Sinister: pleased as punch. (X-Force #16)
There’s seriously nothing we can add to this. (X-Force #16)
Best not to dwell. (X-Force #16)
NEXT EPISODE: It is definitely not.

LINKS & FURTHER ADVENTURES:

210 – The End of Tomorrow: X-Cutioner’s Song (Part 1 of 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which you may or may not have your own Black Bug Room; FlameCon was in fact every bit as wonderful as we projected (and more); Caliban hates true love; no one will ever be as extra as Mister Sinister; X-Cutioner’s Song is secretly a farce; we achieve Peak Cable; and the quintessential ’90s crossover event begins!

X-PLAINED:

  • The Black Bug Room
  • A good deal of pre-event status quo
  • Uncanny X-Men #294
  • X-Factor #84
  • X-Men #14
  • X-Force #16
  • Trading card taxonomy
  • The opening strains of a crossover event
  • A concert that worked out better in theory than in practice
  • An abduction
  • Several attempted murders
  • A large number of awkward reunions
  • An even larger number of inter-team brawls
  • Two villains pretending to be other villains
  • Cape logistics
  • Peak Cable
  • Many pouches
  • Many guns
  • The origin of Hope Summers
  • Our hopes for mutants in the MCU

NEXT EPISODE: Aw, Stryfe, no.

NOTE: At one point in this episode, Miles said “X-Force” when he actually meant “X-Factor.” If you can tell us where, you win the prize of eternal smugness (not as much smugness as Sinister, but still a lot).

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 203 – The X-Man’s Burden

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Hmm. Well. (Uncanny X-Men #291)
Impressive pajamas! Ever-present shotguns! Sexy (not-quite-) dead girls! Extra-spiky Archangel Wings! Banter! This one’s got it all. (Uncanny X-Men #291)
I know you were in the Void Dimension for a while, Mikhail, but… did you forget how shirts work? (Uncanny X-Men #291)
I don’t know what it is about the astral plane being colored with highlighters that works for me, but man, does it ever. (Uncanny X-Men #291)
I go back and forth on Tom Raney’s art, but he draws a hell of a Callisto. (Uncanny X-Men #291)
This is a cool group shot and all, but PLEASE NOTE THE MORLOCK WHO IS VERY EXCITED TO EAT A ROCK. Or bash his buddy with it, I guess. But I’m pretty sure he’s eating it. (Uncanny X-Men #291)
But… the Morlocks were never trapped! Well, I guess now they’re extra not trapped. (Uncanny X-Men #291)
One of my very favorite 90s covers of all time, only improved by the confusing colorful party lights above the logo. (Uncanny X-Men #292)
In the next panel, Colossus and Bishop passionately kiss. (Uncanny X-Men #292)
I’ll give Mikhail one thing: he’s legitimately scary. (Uncanny X-Men #292)
Warren, you’ve been through a lot, but… you do know that this is the other place you were nailed to a wall in the Morlock tunnels, right? Right? (Uncanny X-Men #292)
Miles had so many nightmares about this guy 26 years ago. (Uncanny X-Men #292)
To be fair, Callisto keeps all of her clothing in pots. Storm, having played Zelda>, does not. (Uncanny X-Men #292)
Sure, Professor Xavier can be a jerk – but every once in a while, we remember why he runs the school. (Uncanny X-Men #292)
We’ve all got that family member. (Uncanny X-Men #293)
The advantage of being drawn in a 90s superhero comic is that you can do this. (Uncanny X-Men #293)
Everything about that last panel is solid gold. (Uncanny X-Men #293)
I know we say that Cannonball is the best kid or that Warlock is the best kid, but Colossus is kind of also the best kid. (Not that his judgment is necessarily all that great…) (Uncanny X-Men #293)
God, right in the heart. (Uncanny X-Men #293)
NEXT TIME: Miles and Hub talk travel back to the Bronze Age!

The rad lawyer we mentioned in the episode is Katie Lane – check out her website for all kinds of good stuff!

203 – The X-Man’s Burden

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Morlocks used to have more agency, we have a surprising amount to say about the Rat King from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Archangel receives some exceptionally disturbing news, and 90s comics are all about finding the parts you love.

X-PLAINED:

  • Marrow’s internal organs
  • The post-Image Exodus era
  • Judging books by their covers
  • Uncanny X-Men #291-293
  • Sexy dead girls (again)
  • The Morlock leadership vacuum
  • A significant Callisto personality retcon
  • Failures of leadership due to own-death-faking
  • The magical life and magical death of the Morlock Sewer Wizard
  • Science Made Stupid
  • Storm’s claustrophobia (again)
  • MeMe, scourge of Miles’s childhood
  • 90s Jean Grey: cartoon vs comic
  • The Br’er Rabbit Technique
  • Some unfortunate and significant continuity errors
  • Professor Xavier’s impressive upper body strength
  • Mikhail Rasputin’s genuinely terrifying mutant powers
  • Bobby Drake’s potential
  • Morlock organizational techniques
  • Mikhail Rasputin’s very bad plan
  • Jean Grey’s real talk
  • The Home for Infinite Losers
  • Piotr Rasputin, tragedy collector
  • Copyright law and Fair Use
  • Queer headcanon
  • X-beards

NEXT EPISODE: Hub from Titan Up the Defense joins Miles to talk Bronze Age X-weirdness!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 198 – How to Destroy the Universe Without Really Trying

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Alas, the Walter Simonson cover is a false alarm. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
Sweet threads, Brigadier! (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
Life Model Decoy life is hard. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
At this point, she should really just change her code name to “Ripley.” (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
Thiiiiiiiiis guy. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
“Maybe, like, a buck fifty?” (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
And that’s why we don’t experiment on ourselves, Dr. Cayre. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
Air-Walker is a cyborg who loves his work. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
And now, a whole bunch of Lockheed making really good shifty faces! (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
Seriously, it’s basically just this for like six images. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
What, you thought I was joking? (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
I was not joking. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
(Okay, fine, I also threw in a Captain Britain suit on fire.) (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
But here’s one more Lockheed, for good measure! (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
“Remember when I basically destroyed the universe? Good times!” (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
Well, it’s no Excalibur #41 or 52, but I guess it’ll do. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
He’s got style, I’ll give him that. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
Doom is a tough audience. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
Scott Summers: hopelessly uncool in just about any time period. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
World War II Angel may in fact be the best Angel. Dang! (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
But what could it be?! (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
IT’S A HONKER OF DOOM! (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
Sure, why not? (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
This is one of those costumes that really only works in specific art styles; but this is one of them. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
I mean, he is kind of a notorious dick… (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
He died as he lived: crushed under a tower of word balloons. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
That Kitty and Bobby briefly dated later makes this much funnier. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
NEXT EPISODE: Shattershot!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

 

198 – How to Destroy the Universe Without Really Trying

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Excalibur goes 16-bit platformer; Alysande gets new threads; Shadowcat should probably just change her code name to Ripley; Captain Britain may or may not destroy the universe; Doctor Doom tries his hand at human resources; Excalibur is at home with weirdness; and no lizard needs breasts.

X-PLAINED:

  • Invisible Boy
  • Human heralds of Galactus
  • Excalibur Special Editions
  • Excalibur: Air Apparent
  • Excalibur: XX Crossing
  • Dr. Jonothon Cayre
  • Norm the LMD
  • Lava pits of Scotland
  • Some dubious herpetology
  • Eric the Cyborg (Coldblood-7)
  • Robert Cop
  • Special Man
  • Air-Walker and/or Gabriel Lam
  • A cosmic explosion
  • Captain Britain’s extra costume
  • Sidestep
  • An exceptionally awkward job interview
  • A counterintuitive plan
  • The other time-displaced X-Men
  • The best version of Angel
  • Angel’s third-greatest nemesis
  • Gladiator Hank
  • A very fancy vest
  • The best Excalibur Special Edition
  • The Phalanx vs. the Technarchy
  • Warlock vs. gender
  • Our thoughts on Avengers: Infinity War

Note: according to the letter column from Excalibur #54, at least some of the art credits for Excalibur: XX Crossing were incorrect, so some of our descriptions of who drew what in this episode are wrong. See the comments below for more information!

NEXT EPISODE: Shattershot!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 193 – Sewers of Tomorrow

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Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
On one hand: These dudes are pretty rad. On the other hand: being able to detect normal humans is a pretty ridiculous mutant power. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
John Romita, Jr. can be hit-or-miss, but he definitely draws some rad miscreants of the future. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
WOMP. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
Compulsory Fitzroy Hair Appreciation Moment(TM). (Uncanny X-Men #277)
The Witness, in all his really creepy glory. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
Can you imagine trying to have a conversation with this dude? (Uncanny X-Men #277)
I don’t understand what’s happening with Cyclops’s torso; and, frankly, I don’t want to. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
“Look! A distraction!” (Uncanny X-Men #278)
The first appearance of the letter… (Uncanny X-Men #278)
…and the second, FROM THE SAME FLIPPIN’ PAGE. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
Thaaaaat’s our Archangel! (Uncanny X-Men #278)
Can confirm. -Jay (Uncanny X-Men #278)
*Today, at least. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
Long Island cops are clearly unfamiliar with Cyburai. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Mystique is exceptionally bad at helping. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Damnit, Forge. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Storm’s reaction is appropriate. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Bobby. Have you MET your parents? (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Best. Date. Ever. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Remember that time Mikhail Rasputin turned a random skater into a tree? Because that certainly happened. (Uncanny X-Men #280)
Hanging out naked in the rain? This dude is DEFINITELY learning the ropes from Storm. (Uncanny X-Men #280)
DAMNIT, Forge. (Uncanny X-Men #280)
NEXT EPISODE: Brood trouble in the Big Easy!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

193 – Sewers of Tomorrow

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Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we pour one out for Malcolm and Randall; Cyclops is the worst at fun; Storm is better than you and always will be; Bishop forgets his first name; the X-Men can’t tie bow ties; Iceman’s dad is spectacularly awful; Mikhail Rasputin may have some lingering issues; and Doug Ramsey would probably have been pretty entertained by Hackers if he had survived long enough to see it.

X-PLAINED:

  • Whether Professor Xavier is dead
  • Marvel time vs. podcast time
  • Uncanny X-Men #287-290
  • The Wit and Wisdom of Henry McCoy
  • A dance of death and destruction
  • Styglut
  • Future flashbacks
  • Sewers of tomorrow
  • The Witness
  • “Fun”
  • Blood math
  • A mysterious letter
  • A terrible date
  • Several capes
  • The return of the cyburai
  • A theoretical Hackers crossover

NEXT EPISODE: Brood trouble in the Big Easy!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 186 – Right in the Melee

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Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Sunfire’s new costume. (Uncanny X-Men #284)
Spoiler: Nah. (Uncanny X-Men #284)
The shiniest Predators. (Uncanny X-Men #284)
This is gonna seem more ironic in a few pages. (Uncanny X-Men #284)
That’s our Sunfire! (Uncanny X-Men #284)
Yep. The folks in the Predator masks look… exactly like humans. (Uncanny X-Men #284)
Spoiler: The cake is a lie. (Uncanny X-Men #285)
Interdimensional travel faces. (Uncanny X-Men #285)
A very expository landing. (Uncanny X-Men #285)
I would make a “No groveling! This is a proper Soviet household!” joke, but I feel like The Twelve Chairs might be an excessively deep cut even by my standards. (Uncanny X-Men #285)
Oh, hey, it’s a mysterious stranger! Doubt he’ll turn out to be anyone important. (Uncanny X-Men #285)
The Martha Stewart of whatever this dimension is called. (Uncanny X-Men #285)
Meanwhile in a different genre… (Uncanny X-Men #285)
LOOK AT THAT EXCELLENT LIZARD FACE. (Uncanny X-Men #285)
We give Portacio a lot of grief over his costume designs, but this one is really cool. (Uncanny X-Men #285)
He’s explaining the basic tenets of Socialism. (Uncanny X-Men #285)
“Ha! My brother was drawn by Dave Cockrum! You’re no brother of mine!” (Uncanny X-Men #285)
Okay, but Beast and Cyclops did it better. (Uncanny X-Men #286)
Aw, those scamps. (Uncanny X-Men #286)
See this? This is why the world is probably doomed. (Uncanny X-Men #286)
It’s rough being a regular in an ongoing superhero comic. (Uncanny X-Men #286)
NOT OKAY. (Uncanny X-Men #286)
Team-up move! (Uncanny X-Men #286)
“Fortunately, there’s this podcast…” (Uncanny X-Men #286)
NEXT EPISODE: The not particularly secret lives of the X-Men!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

186 – Right in the Melee

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Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which you are the wind beneath our wings; Sunfire doesn’t quit the team even once; the X-Men do “Judgment War,” kinda; Iceman’s clothes are mostly incidental; Mikhail Rasputin is a surprisingly accomplished vintner; Colossus has a bad day; Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau is a core value; and we are REALLY excited about our plans for Emerald City Comic Con!

X-PLAINED:

  • Colossus vs. Breakworld
  • Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con
  • Uncanny X-Men #284-286
  • “Judgment War”-Lite
  • Byrne burns
  • The collective noun for Edidins
  • Sunfire’s new threads
  • The evolution of Whilce Portacio
  • Emma Frost’s dropped plot threads
  • Iceman fashion (or lack thereof)
  • Sha-har-a-zath
  • The Savior
  • A mysterious vintner
  • Archangel’s hair
  • Mikhail Rasputin
  • Space-Person disambiguation
  • Peril and the vanquishing thereof
  • The continuing adventures of the XSE
  • Chuck Cherkle
  • Sara Gray’s unrealized potential
  • The Great Excalibur Bake-Off

NEXT EPISODE: Bizarre Adventures #127

COME SEE US AT EMERALD CITY COMIC CON, MARCH 1-4, IN SEATTLE!

Find links to the stories mentioned in this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)