Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Hulk

As Mentioned in Episode 470 – Large Adult Men

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Nipples? Spigots? Weirdly evenly spaced barnacles? You be the judge! (Cable #73)
Neither that font nor that neck is acceptable. (Cable #73)
The fonts in this book are killing me. (Cable #73)
Hug #1. (Cable #73)
Hug #2. (Cable #73)
Perspective? I hardly know ‘er! Wait. Damnit. (Cable #73)
What’s REALLY on the CD? Tell us in the comments! (Cable #73)
Caliban: Tailor of Apocalypse! (Cable #73)
The juxtaposition between the art and text in this pane is extremely funny. (Cable #73)
Quick-change! (Cable #74)
Deathbird, or possibly Warbird now. (Cable #74)
Whoops. (Cable #74)
He looks so over it. (Cable #74)
Ewwwww. (Wolverine #145)
He does look pretty rad, though. (Wolverine #145)
THAT HORSE (Wolverine #145)
Large man being large. (Wolverine #145)
The first time the new claws come out. (Wolverine #145)
NEXT EPISODE: We couldn’t put it off forever.

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE

470 – Large Adult Men

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In which Cable may or may not have been a spokesperson for AT&T; it’s impossible to draw a CD dramatically; Wolverine gets his adamantium back; Apocalypse says the thing; and we probably can’t keep putting off The Twelve forever.

X-PLAINED:

  • One way to dispose of a corpse
  • Cable #73-74
  • Wolverine #145
  • Cable (more) (again)
  • Poor font choice
  • Sarcophagus nipples
  • Caliban (more) (again)
  • Impromptu tailoring
  • A cliched vignette
  • People talking on couches
  • A compact disc
  • Unpleasant reunions
  • An impressive outfit
  • Prior generations of horsemen of Apocalypse
  • Wolverine (more) (again)
  • How Wolverine ended up a horseman of Apocalypse
  • Apocalypse’s aesthetic
  • Wolverine vs. Hulk (yet again)
  • Which version of Magik was on Krakoa
  • An X-Men pitch in the style of Spidey and his Amazing Friends

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve begins!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 356 – The Michael Bay-eux Tapestry

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
The 90s-est Rogue in the 90s-est crossover. (X-Men #56)
“Who but I could pose so impressively?” (X-Men #56)
“SENTINEL TZ-031 REPORTING TO HELP YOU MAKE YOUR POINT, SIR” (X-Men #56)
This Onslaught-form may mostly be a retcon to justify past artistic inconsistency – but damn it looks awesome. (X-Men #56)
“And not even one of them told me the actually-important parts of AoA’s whole deal.” (X-Men #56)
Kubert gets so much credit for making a quiet conversation this visually riveting. (X-Men #56)
“You may be a hybrid monstrosity composed of the worst parts of both myself and my greatest frenemy, but at least you seem to have excellent dental hygiene.” (X-Men #56)
This cover kinda sums it up. And that’s not a bad thing. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Well shit. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Scott Summers, master tactician. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Goosebumps. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
The world’s greatest heroes versus a bright orange glow to the right of the two-page spread. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Hope, thy name is Moppet. Despair, thy name is x-treme teen. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
“And on that day, the heroes channeled their collective courage and dedication into a single blast of punching and yelling.” (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
BTOOM (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
I’m not crying you’re crying (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
*heavy metal horns* (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Thor, that’s not how it… oh, I guess it is. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Man, these two (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Nothing I can say will add to these panels. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
This shouldn’t work, but damn, it does. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
“In the meantime, I guess you could grab that universe-in-a-ball and learn contact juggling?” (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
NEXT TIME: Onslaught ends, for real.

356 – The Michael Bay-eux Tapestry

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which it’s hard to be Joseph; we do our best to explain the inexplicable; Miles is full of feelings; Hulk smashes; and Onslaught finally (mostly) ends.

X-PLAINED:

  • Heroes Reborn Return
  • Wild times with the Dreaming Celestial
  • Onslaught so far
  • X-Men #56
  • Onslaught: Marvel Universe
  • Jay’s definitive Bond
  • Joseph (more)
  • The physical evolution of Onslaught
  • Sense of scale
  • Hawkeye (TV series)
  • Onslaught’s goals, to what extent they exist
  • The three genders
  • A really big fight
  • A miracle of magnetism
  • The (nominal) end of the Age of Heroes
  • Beast’s scientific career
  • Chamber’s voice

NEXT EPISODE: Several epilogues

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 352 – Onslog

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Still not really seeing the “ebon” part of “ebon citadel,” but whatever. (The Incredible Hulk #445)
I always appreciate details like this. (The Incredible Hulk #445)
Ouch. (The Incredible Hulk #445)
It’s like that thing where you don’t hear your cat coming in and then it’s RIGHT THERE STARING AT YOU. (Invincible Iron Man #332)
Those are… certainly some sound effects. (Invincible Iron Man #332)
It’s not a whole fancy suit, but I guess it’ll do. (Invincible Iron Man #332)
Hats all around! (Invincible Iron Man #332)
Look at them, all action-y. (Avengers #402)
Sucks to be the dude who has to both accurately assess the situation AND keep everyone’s spirits up! (Avengers #402)
SO THERE. (Avengers #402)
SO MUCH HEROISM IN ONE PAGE (Avengers #402)
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: Additional Onslaught!

LINKS & FURTHER CHOREOGRAPHY

352 – Onslog

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Onslaught: Phase 2 does not live up to the promise of Phase 1; Hulk is not the most trustworthy individual; Miles is his own best audience; Sentinels know their continuity; and true heroism is scored by James Horner.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Phoenix Five
  • Onslaught thus far
  • The Incredible Hulk #445
  • Invincible Iron Man #332
  • Avengers #402
  • Pea Soup Hulk
  • Falcon’s late cousin Jim
  • The word “ebon”
  • Tunneling logistics
  • An uncomfortable lesson
  • Immortal Hulk and why you should be reading it
  • Fancy hats
  • Science Made Stupid
  • Teen Tony Stark (more) (again)
  • Sneaking
  • Onslaught’s best epithet
  • The sound of heroism
  • Thor’s “shirt”
  • Headgear

NEXT EPISODE: Additional Onslaught!

Check out the visual companion to this episode over on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 349 – Onslaught Secret Weapon Force Power Slammers

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Ahh, it’ll be fine. (Cable #34)
Sure, why not? (Cable #34)
I kind of wish he’d gotten to keep his massive fucked up arm. (Cable #34)
Start your red-string maps here. (Incredible Hulk #444)
GIANT SCREAMING ROCK! (Incredible Hulk #444)
SURE, WHY NOT? (Incredible Hulk #444)
Hulk just want to be left alone. (Incredible Hulk #444)
Sinister certainly knows how to make an entrance. (X-Man #18)
Aw, Caliban. (X-Force #57)
And there goes another Xavier school! (X-Force #57)
It’s no Bogdanove, but it’ll do. (X-Force #57)
I love that Onslaught’s happening and Sinister is just playing out this whole entire other story. (X-Force #57)
NEXT EPISODE: Hawk talk! NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught continues to continue.

LINKS & FURTHER COMPLICATIONS

349 – Onslaught Secret Weapon Force Power Slammers

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Onslaught nomenclature has some consistency issues; electricity is the new magnetism; Nate Grey mopes; Sinister doesn’t care about your guns; the Xavier mansion blows up (again); and we track down an elusive Sentinel.

X-PLAINED

  • Doctor Doom’s absolutely irrelevant Onslaught encounter
  • Cable #34
  • Incredible Hulk #444
  • X-Man #18
  • X-Force #57
  • Onslaught Phases vs. Impacts
  • Ozymandias (more) (again)
  • Post (more) (again)
  • Cable’s ridiculous motorcycle
  • Several Hulks
  • Behemoth
  • Cable/Storm
  • The Betty Conspiracy
  • Rocks that yell
  • Alpacalypse
  • Multiversal disambiguation
  • Some unlikely sound effects
  • An anti-Sinister failsafe
  • A self-destruct system
  • Warpath and Risque
  • A hug
  • A very specific Sentinel
  • Coming out in adulthood

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Somehow We Have Made 350 of These (and also more Onslaught)

Check out the visual companion to this post on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 298 – Unlikely Avengers

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All of our TeePublic profits this month are going to Trans Lifeline! Have you always wanted a mask that says THEY’RE NOT LASERS? Now’s your chance!

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Seriously, can we not? (X-Universe #1)
Don’t worry; they all die in about a page and a half. (X-Universe #1)
“…ladies.” (X-Universe #1)
Blark 4 Lyfe (X-Universe #1)
See what we mean about the Darkseid thing? (X-Universe #1)
Damnit, Matt. (X-Universe #1)
These badasses! (X-Universe #1)
This should really have been the cover to #1. (X-Universe #2)
They’ve got names, and they’re not recognizable characters in a series that’s all about recognizability, so–yep, gonna die. (X-Universe #2)
DAMNIT, Matt. (X-Universe #2)
Clint Barton? James Rhodes? Lester Whatshisname? Who even knows, anymore? (X-Universe #2)
GOOD JOB, VICTOR VON DOOM. (X-Universe #2)
HE COULD STILL BE ALIVE (X-Universe #2)
That’s an awfully fancy red herring, there. (X-Universe #2)
NEXT EPISODE: What didn’t happen!

298 – Unlikely Avengers

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the moments of X-Universe are better than the whole; the code name “Dirigible” carries some inherent risks; Tony Stark is often more interesting without Iron Man; Clint Barton is no James Rhodes; there is somehow a Matt Murdock who makes even worse choices than the one from Earth-616; nobody should ever trust Mikhail Rasputin; and the baby’s name really doesn’t matter.

X-PLAINED:

  • J. Jonah Jameson’s stance on mutants
  • A way to get cool stuff AND support Trans Lifeline
  • X-Universe #1-2
  • Gwen Stacy (Earth-295)
  • Some really obnoxious white savior tropes
  • The Marauders (Earth-295)
  • How to waste Arcade
  • Spider-nostalgia
  • Owl noises
  • Tony Stark (Earth-295)
  • Clint Barton and/or James Rhodes (Earth-295)
  • Dr. Donald Blake (Earth-616)
  • Dr. Donald Blake (Earth-295)
  • Blark
  • Mikhail Rasputin (Earth-295)
  • Ship, but not Ship
  • Ben Grimm (Earth-295)
  • Sue Storm (Earth-295)
  • Bruce Banner (Earth-295)
  • A great many overplayed references
  • Matt Murdock (Earth-295)
  • Manuel de la Rocha (Earth-295)
  • Victor Von Doom (Earth-295)
  • Marte and Rafe McGuffin
  • The Upscale Program
  • A very hazardous plan
  • The Stryfe Force
  • The dreams of Donald Blake
  • A red herring named Frankie
  • Augmented humans in a mutant-centric world
  • How Wolverine communicates with animals
  • How Professor X lost his hair

NEXT EPISODE: What-ifs and might-have-beens!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop! This June, we’ll be donating all of the profits to Trans Lifeline!