Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Horsemen of Apocalypse

As Mentioned in Episode 470 – Large Adult Men

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Nipples? Spigots? Weirdly evenly spaced barnacles? You be the judge! (Cable #73)
Neither that font nor that neck is acceptable. (Cable #73)
The fonts in this book are killing me. (Cable #73)
Hug #1. (Cable #73)
Hug #2. (Cable #73)
Perspective? I hardly know ‘er! Wait. Damnit. (Cable #73)
What’s REALLY on the CD? Tell us in the comments! (Cable #73)
Caliban: Tailor of Apocalypse! (Cable #73)
The juxtaposition between the art and text in this pane is extremely funny. (Cable #73)
Quick-change! (Cable #74)
Deathbird, or possibly Warbird now. (Cable #74)
Whoops. (Cable #74)
He looks so over it. (Cable #74)
Ewwwww. (Wolverine #145)
He does look pretty rad, though. (Wolverine #145)
THAT HORSE (Wolverine #145)
Large man being large. (Wolverine #145)
The first time the new claws come out. (Wolverine #145)
NEXT EPISODE: We couldn’t put it off forever.

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE

470 – Large Adult Men

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In which Cable may or may not have been a spokesperson for AT&T; it’s impossible to draw a CD dramatically; Wolverine gets his adamantium back; Apocalypse says the thing; and we probably can’t keep putting off The Twelve forever.

X-PLAINED:

  • One way to dispose of a corpse
  • Cable #73-74
  • Wolverine #145
  • Cable (more) (again)
  • Poor font choice
  • Sarcophagus nipples
  • Caliban (more) (again)
  • Impromptu tailoring
  • A cliched vignette
  • People talking on couches
  • A compact disc
  • Unpleasant reunions
  • An impressive outfit
  • Prior generations of horsemen of Apocalypse
  • Wolverine (more) (again)
  • How Wolverine ended up a horseman of Apocalypse
  • Apocalypse’s aesthetic
  • Wolverine vs. Hulk (yet again)
  • Which version of Magik was on Krakoa
  • An X-Men pitch in the style of Spidey and his Amazing Friends

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve begins!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 469 – Killed by Death

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“Okay, everybody dig in!” (Uncanny X-Men #375)
And the fun begins. (Uncanny X-Men #375)
Professor Xavier is a jerk. (Uncanny X-Men #375)
“Can I touch it?” (Uncanny X-Men #375)
Jaq and Fiz. (X-Men #95)
I can’t be the only one who finds this whole scene hilarious. (X-Men #95)
Well, damn. (X-Men #95)
Ouch. (X-Men Unlimited #25)
NEXT EPISODE: Solo shenanigans!

469 – Killed by Death

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In which the Shattering officially concludes; you can’t swoop over the phone; toddlers are engines of pure chaos; the X-Men do some processing; and we are mildly scandalized by the absence of footnotes.

X-PLAINED:

  • Rama-Tut
  • Evan Sabahnur
  • Uncanny X-Men #375
  • X-Men #95
  • X-Men Unlimited #25
  • Skrull problems
  • One very upsetting way to identify a traitor
  • Skrullverine
  • Fiz and Jaq
  • The Ally
  • A ruse
  • Death’s mask
  • A dramatic revelation
  • Processing
  • The unrealized potential of Spirit Halloween
  • Wolverine memories
  • Rogue’s temporary tattoos
  • Yet another time loop

NEXT EPISODE: We segue into solo series!

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 465 – Right in the Fabric

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Death’s new look. (Astonishing X-Men #1)
He just really likes that snowboard, okay? Leave him alone! You’re not his real dad! (Astonishing X-Men #1)
FORESHADOWING! (Astonishing X-Men #1)
The sassiest severed head since Cameron Hodge. (Astonishing X-Men #1)
Meet the Mannite moppets! (Astonishing X-Men #1)
This Final Fantasy-looking motherfucker. (Astonishing X-Men #2)
Weird but rad. (Astonishing X-Men #2)
Sausage! (Astonishing X-Men #2)
Mind control or just psychic startle? You be the judge! (Astonishing X-Men #3)
It’s fine; he’s a Skrull. (Astonishing X-Men #3)
NEXT EPISODE: All things animated Rogue, with Lenore Zann!

 

 

465 – Right in the Fabric

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In which “Astonishing X-Men” is something of a misnomer; Death has a good look; sometimes you just need a guy who swoops; Miles stops worrying and learns to love Nate Grey; Telekinesis is silly looking; “Wolverine” dies; and nothing really changes.

X-PLAINED:

  • Astonishing X-Men (miniseries)
  • Ambience
  • Nina (again)
  • Mannites (again)
  • The third-best way to get out of awkward conversations
  • The Hulkbuster base
  • Bastion (again)
  • Bastion’s worst nightmare
  • Death (a new one)
  • Fiddly bits
  • Cable’s Psimitar
  • Telekinetic snowboarding
  • Headcase
  • Darco
  • Glub
  • Beautiful Dreamer
  • Grace
  • Totem
  • Things to do with a severed head
  • The Changing
  • The (apparent) death of Wolverine
  • How to salvage this miniseries
  • Hypothetical X-crossovers

NEXT EPISODE: Lenore Zann joins us to talk all things Rogue!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 298 – Unlikely Avengers

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All of our TeePublic profits this month are going to Trans Lifeline! Have you always wanted a mask that says THEY’RE NOT LASERS? Now’s your chance!

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Seriously, can we not? (X-Universe #1)
Don’t worry; they all die in about a page and a half. (X-Universe #1)
“…ladies.” (X-Universe #1)
Blark 4 Lyfe (X-Universe #1)
See what we mean about the Darkseid thing? (X-Universe #1)
Damnit, Matt. (X-Universe #1)
These badasses! (X-Universe #1)
This should really have been the cover to #1. (X-Universe #2)
They’ve got names, and they’re not recognizable characters in a series that’s all about recognizability, so–yep, gonna die. (X-Universe #2)
DAMNIT, Matt. (X-Universe #2)
Clint Barton? James Rhodes? Lester Whatshisname? Who even knows, anymore? (X-Universe #2)
GOOD JOB, VICTOR VON DOOM. (X-Universe #2)
HE COULD STILL BE ALIVE (X-Universe #2)
That’s an awfully fancy red herring, there. (X-Universe #2)
NEXT EPISODE: What didn’t happen!

298 – Unlikely Avengers

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the moments of X-Universe are better than the whole; the code name “Dirigible” carries some inherent risks; Tony Stark is often more interesting without Iron Man; Clint Barton is no James Rhodes; there is somehow a Matt Murdock who makes even worse choices than the one from Earth-616; nobody should ever trust Mikhail Rasputin; and the baby’s name really doesn’t matter.

X-PLAINED:

  • J. Jonah Jameson’s stance on mutants
  • A way to get cool stuff AND support Trans Lifeline
  • X-Universe #1-2
  • Gwen Stacy (Earth-295)
  • Some really obnoxious white savior tropes
  • The Marauders (Earth-295)
  • How to waste Arcade
  • Spider-nostalgia
  • Owl noises
  • Tony Stark (Earth-295)
  • Clint Barton and/or James Rhodes (Earth-295)
  • Dr. Donald Blake (Earth-616)
  • Dr. Donald Blake (Earth-295)
  • Blark
  • Mikhail Rasputin (Earth-295)
  • Ship, but not Ship
  • Ben Grimm (Earth-295)
  • Sue Storm (Earth-295)
  • Bruce Banner (Earth-295)
  • A great many overplayed references
  • Matt Murdock (Earth-295)
  • Manuel de la Rocha (Earth-295)
  • Victor Von Doom (Earth-295)
  • Marte and Rafe McGuffin
  • The Upscale Program
  • A very hazardous plan
  • The Stryfe Force
  • The dreams of Donald Blake
  • A red herring named Frankie
  • Augmented humans in a mutant-centric world
  • How Wolverine communicates with animals
  • How Professor X lost his hair

NEXT EPISODE: What-ifs and might-have-beens!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop! This June, we’ll be donating all of the profits to Trans Lifeline!

As Mentioned in Episode 288 – Cape Citadel Remix

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
The brightness of this cover is so distinctive among the generally dark aesthetic of AoA. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)
Scenic Wundagore Mountain. Don’t get too attached. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)
It’s weird how functional their relationship is in this timeline. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)
Dig those primary colors! (X-Men: Chronicles #1)
Ugh, THAT guy. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)
“Also, we’re gonna divide you all up into guilds.” (X-Men: Chronicles #1)
Aw, kiddo. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)
Ah, yes, the traditional horsemen of Death, War, Gideon, Candra, and Sabretooth. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)
This guy is going to get immolated and then change his name to Holocaust, because he makes universally poor choices. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)
Meanwhile on ao3… (X-Men: Chronicles #1)
I like how retro Apocalypse is at the beginning of Earth-295 his rise. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)
So, yeah, that’s Wolverine. (X-Men: Chronicles #2)
I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND THE SHOULDERS (X-Men: Chronicles #2)
“Who has the least healthy boundaries?” (X-Men: Chronicles #2)
The X-Men’s presence is about 50/50 concern/ogling. (X-Men: Chronicles #2)
Nope. (X-Men: Chronicles #2)
How not to ask your crush out, starring Remy LeBeau, Disaster Bisexual. (X-Men: Chronicles #2)
Any time they have sex. every credit card in the mansion ends up demagnetized. (X-Men: Chronicles #2)
TFW canon sticks an OTP in your OT3. (X-Men: Chronicles #2)
Seriously, HOW? (X-Men: Chronicles #2)
NEXT EPISODE: Somehow, Summers family reunions get even worse.

288 – Cape Citadel Remix

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Magneto is a drama llama in any universe (but a remarkably decent parent in at least one); the soap opera hits the Age of Apocalypse; Weapon X is a man made of red flags; Gambit has an OT3; the better man wins; some blanks are better left unfilled; and we would probably not fare too well on Earth-295.

X-PLAINED:

  • The other Magnus
  • Synchronicity
  • Earth-295 (more) (again)
  • X-Men Chronicles #1-2
  • Selective backstory
  • Magneto’s hair
  • Wundagore Mountain
  • Aesthetics of the Age of Apocalypse
  • The X-Men of Earth-295
  • Magneto’s pedagogy
  • More miscellaneous horsemen
  • Weapon X (Logan)
  • Cape Citadel, revisited
  • The death of the Scarlet Witch
  • Disaster Bisexual Gambit
  • Wolverine (but not that one)
  • Punks who may or may not also be scrimshanders
  • Emotionally well-adjusted Quicksilver
  • Further miracles of magnetism
  • The narrative power of evocation
  • Age of Somebody Else
  • Jay and Miles of Earth-295

NEXT EPISODE: Summers Family Reunions somehow get even worse.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!