Hellfire Club – Page 6 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

42 – A Firestar Is Born

February 1, 2015 Jay 42 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 2/1/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Miles has a brush with nostalgia; Angelica Jones is secretly a Thomas Hardy protagonist; it doesn’t need to make sense if it’s awesome; and Emma Frost really needs a mustache to twirl.

X-Plained:

Trevor Fitzroy
Firestar (Angelica Jones)
Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends
Nostalgia
X-Men, if sometimes the main characters were bears
Inexplicably Australian Wolverine
Ms. Lion
Marvel Divas
Sudsy fun
Superhero sitcoms
Firestar #1-4
Basic palmistry
Generic mean girls
Coen Brothers YA
The reinvention of Emma Frost
Some epic gaslighting
Butter Rum
Mutivac
Miles’s favorite star-crossed ‘ship
Why Thunderbird I has stayed dead
Contextual definitions of “organic”

NEXT WEEK: Secret Wars

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 39 – Forever Alone Together

January 11, 2015 Jay 17 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and travel mugs available until 1/11/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

The Amazing Nightcrawler, drawn by The Amazing Sienkiewicz! (New Mutants #22)

Nightcrawler is a pretty awesome teacher; it’d have been cool to see more of him in this capacity. (New Mutants #22)

Aw, Rahne. (New Mutants #22)

Well, that escalated quickly. (New Mutants #22)

AW, RAHNE. (New Mutants #22)

The villains of Rahne’s fairy tale look awfully familiar. (New Mutants #22)

Back to those guys shortly. First: Cats! (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)

Ohhhh, hey, it’s Cloak and Dagger! (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)

Spider-Man spends a lot of this issue lurking around and providing exposition. (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)

“I mean, dude, the title of the book is Marvel Team-Up, not Marvel Let’s Fight in a Church.” (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)

“How did you guess you were on a butcher block? I mean, aside from that it’s a big square table and you’re in a slaughterhouse and everything probably smells like blood and… NOPE! DEFINTELY SUPERPOWERS AT WORK!” (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)

What?! Dude, it’s not even addictive. That’s the stupidest evil plan ever. (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)

This isn’t really relevant to the episode; it’s just hilarious. (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)

NONE MORE GOTH (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)

Wait, what? (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)

‘Kay. (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)

Spider-Man’s “Yeah.” in that last panel, though. (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)

THAT COVER. (New Mutants #23)

“On Wednesdays, we dress glam.” (New Mutants #23)

Harry’s Hideaway is basically the Heartbreak Hotel of Salem Center, but like a million times less awesome. Still awesome, mind, but the Heartbreak Hotel sets a high bar. (New Mutants #23)

It’s really easy to forget that the X-Men are also kind of officially students? Maybe? Sometimes? (New Mutants #23)

At this point, New Mutants is basically the Sam and Dani Show, and we are 100% down with that. (New Mutants #23)

Aw, Rahne. (New Mutants #23)

WELL, THAT CAN’T BE GOOD. (New Mutants #23)

That is… an awfully Demon Bear-looking Sunspot on that cover. Not that we’re complaining, mind. (New Mutants #24)

Now you don’t need to read Marvel Team-Up Annual #6! You’re welcome! (New Mutants #24)

Indulge us in a momentary digression to make note of Magneto’s fancy hair. (New Mutants #24)

Like Rogue, we are firmly on Sam’s team on this one. (New Mutants #24)

Oops. (New Mutants #24)

We’re not sure whose fault they are, but we’re really, really into the way some combination of Claremont, Orzechowski, and Sienkiewicz uses captions and arrows in this book in general, and this spread in particular. (New Mutants #25)

GIANT BLUE XAVIER HEAD! (With some paradoxically good advice, but still. GIANT BLUE XAVIER HEAD!) (New Mutants #25)

‘Kay. (New Mutants #25)

I really want them to just yell “NONE MORE GOTH” every time they teleport away. (New Mutants #25)

Illyana may be sleepy, but she’s not wrong. (New Mutants #25)

NONE MORE GOTH! (New Mutants #25)

NEXT WEEK: We talk to G. Willow Wilson! She talks to us! ALSO: X-MEN!

Links and Further Reading:

Information and links to donate toward Bill Mantlo’s ongoing care
(You can also send physical donations–and cards and letters–addressed as follows:
Mike Mantlo
26364 East Pintail Road
Long Neck, DE 19966
Please make out any checks to “Michael Mantlo” — Bill’s legal guardian.)
The Hero Initiative
Waiting for the T is absolutely delightful, and if you’re not already reading it, we acutely envy you the experience of going back through the archives for the first time.
- (Specifically apropos of the Maximoffs: 1, 2)

39 – Forever Alone Together

January 11, 2015 Jay 8 comments

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In which Miles and his Doom voice return triumphant; we reach an understanding regarding Lila Cheney; Mob science is pretty shoddy; Magneto has fancy hair; New Mutants Xavier is Best Xavier; no one is more goth than Cloak and Dagger; and you can have Rachel’s Speed Racer references when you pry them from her cold, dead hands.

X-Plained:

Spider-Man crossovers
Cats
Marvel Team-Up Annual #6
New Mutants #22-25
Phone calls with bears
Glam day at the Hellfire Club
Rahne’s fairytale
Cloak & Dagger
Drugs
Eldritch curtains
A seriously flawed evil plan
Harry’s Hideaway
The Sam and Dani Show
Magneto’s hair
Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch’s parentage
Waiting for the T
Whether Cloak and Dagger are mutants
How to buy original art

NEXT WEEK: G. Willow Wilson!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 34 – Mordenkainen’s Marvelous Mutants

December 7, 2014 Jay 9 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints available here through Sunday, December 14!

Remember when missing twin towers always signified a horrible post-apocalyptic future? (Uncanny X-Men #189)

Rachel Summers, in her Hound uniform. (Uncanny X-Men #189)

Kids, if a necklace you find in a fish talks to you, DON’T LISTEN. (Uncanny X-Men #189)

Oh. You, again. (Uncanny X-Men #189)

Moments when the Hellfire Club and the X-Men just really want to not talk about this and go back to whatever they were doing are pretty much the best X-Men/Hellfire Club moments. (Uncanny X-Men #189)

Lookit all those temporal references! (Uncanny X-Men #189)

Imagining Kid Miles diving into X-Men with this issue: never not funny. (Uncanny X-Men #190)

Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #190)

But.. isn’t that basically what Vision normally wears? (Uncanny X-Men #190)

Callisto: Pure awesome in any universe. (Uncanny X-Men #190)

What. (Uncanny X-Men #190)

CAPTAIN AMERICA WE LOVE YOU (Uncanny X-Men #190)

This fucking recap page. (Uncanny X-Men #191)

Warlock-o-Vision! (Uncanny X-Men #191)

Remember that time Spider-Man got actually literally crucified in a CCA-approved comic? Because that definitely happened. (Uncanny X-Men #191)

Warlock is not only the best friendly space teenager, but also the best jetpack. (Uncanny X-Men #191)

Oh. That guy. (Uncanny X-Men #191)

LOOK AT THIS ANGRY SPACE ROBOT AND HIS AMAZING TECHNOORGANIC BEARD (Uncanny X-Men #192)

In which the X-Men absolutely fail at hide-and-seek in just about every possible way. (Uncanny X-Men #192)

Not only is Illyana a badass demon sorceress and teleporter, but her taste in movies is impeccable. (Uncanny X-Men #192)

HERE HAVE SOME MORE TECHNOORGANIC SPACE BEARD (Uncanny X-Men #192)

Rogue goes Technarch, is adorable. (Uncanny X-Men #192)

SPAAAAAAAAACE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEARD (Uncanny X-Men #192)

He’s such a parent. (Uncanny X-Men #192)

Don’t worry. Later, the Morlocks find him, fix him up, and dress him in elaborate bondage gear. (Uncanny X-Men #192)

MERRY CHRISTMAS, X-MEN! (Uncanny X-Men #192)

Next week: Welcome to the Heartbreak Hotel.

Links and Further Reading:

In Episode 34, we answered a question from a listener looking for textual evidence that Nightcrawler isn’t homophobic (we pointed them to Amazing X-Men #13). Rachel also discussed that question from a different angle–and at considerably more length–on the blog.
Diana: Warrior Princess is both an incredibly fun game setting and a brilliant piece of cultural satire.
We are big fans of both the Gamers movies and the humans responsible for them.
Rachel and Elle talk a lot of shit about Hank Pym in Episode 4 of Into It.

34 – Mordenkainen’s Marvelous Mutants

December 7, 2014 Jay 32 comments

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Warlock The Barbarian — Art by David Wynne. Prints available here through Sunday, December 14!

In which we venture forth into an age undreamed of, there are so many reasons to have Northstar on your team, Selene is the worst guest, Rachel X-Plains Conan, Cyttorak is the Mordenkainen of the Marvel Universe, Miles loves Doctor Strange, we have some fairly serious Captain America feelings, the X-Men completely fail at hide-and-seek, and we make more D&D references in one episode than in the previous 34 combined.

X-Plained

Northstar
Beard privilege
X-Men 189-192
Anachronistic timeline markers
Hounds
The Culture Shock Class
An Age Undreamed of
Conan disambiguation
Red Sonja vs. Red Sonya
Kulan Gath
Marvel Team-Up #79
Barbarian Avengers
Why we love Captain America
Several haircuts
WiFi sorcery
A really good inspirational speech
The inevitable cephalopod revolution
Why Hank Pym is the absolute worst
Claudication
Hide-and-seek
How Rachel Summers actually traveled back in time
Magus
Warlock, Adam Warlock, and their respective Magi
Politics, religion, and Nightcrawler

Edited to Add: In this episode, we answered a question from a listener looking for textual evidence that Nightcrawler isn’t homophobic (we pointed them to Amazing X-Men #13). We also discussed that question from a different angle–and at considerably more length–on the blog.

Next Week: Dazzler: The Movie!

You can find a visual companion to the episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 26 – The Other Team America (featuring Chris Sims)

October 14, 2014 Jay 5 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne!

Bobby is so very Bobby. (New Mutants #1)

Yeah, so, Dani, maybe get a handle on that. (New Mutants #1)

Remember, at this point, as far as everyone on Earth knew, the X-Men were dead. (New Mutants #1)

Oh, Storm. (New Mutants #1)

Meanwhile on Muir Island, REVELATIONS! (New Mutants #1)

“You’re not the X-Men. You’re just, um, wearing their original superhero costumes. Because, stuff.” (New Mutants #1)

OH, SHIT. THOSE GUYS. (New Mutants #1)

Well, that’ll end well. (New Mutants #2)

Gyrich realizes that part of the price of appearing in an X-Men book is occasionally having your conversation partner drop out for an extended inner monologue. (New Mutants #2)

“Son, I know Peter Corbeau, and you’re no Peter Corbeau.” (New Mutants #2)

Mostly including this to point out that FANDOM ZONE is a great name for a comics shop. (New Mutants #2)

FORESHADOWING. (New Mutants #3)

OH, NO! (New Mutants #3)

Aw, Illyana. (New Mutants #3)

Remember that time Bob McLeod drew a full page of a teenager and casual nudity and there was no sexualization whatsoever? Because that was RAD. (New Mutants #3)

Oooh, clever! (New Mutants #3)

Reinforcing the case for X-Men watching Star Trek. (New Mutants #3)

Aw, bros. And Magnum, P.I. For more on what happens next, see Episode 20. (New Mutants #3)

The more things change… (New Mutants #4)

That one time Professor Xavier wasn’t a jerk. (New Mutants #4)

And then the New Mutants just straight-up broke into a school dance. (New Mutants #4)

AW, SAM. (New Mutants #4)

WHY WOULD YOU PUT ALL THAT TNT THERE? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? (New Mutants #4)

… (New Mutants #4)

ETHICS. (New Mutants #4)

For more on these baffling gentlemen, see the links below.

Well, hello, Viper and Silver Samurai. (New Mutants #5)

Oh! Of course! Team America! Because, um, right, those guys. (New Mutants #5)

‘Kay. (New Mutants #5)

Xavier X-Plains the A-plot. (New Mutants #5)

Wait, what? (New Mutants #5)

Aw, Shan. (New Mutants #6)

Aw, Shan. (New Mutants #6)

Not that Black Mesa. (New Mutants #6)

Well, I think we can all be pretty excited that Team America have finally learned to control their dangerous power of making an extra good motorcycle dude. Dodged a bullet there. (New Mutants #6)

Next Week: NYCC Special, with Russell Dauterman and Kris Anka!

Links:

26 – The Other Team America (featuring Chris Sims)

October 12, 2014 Jay 17 comments

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In which Danielle Moonstar is the Wolverine of the New Mutants, Henry Peter Gyrich is the Walter Peck of the Marvel Universe, Michael Rossi is no Peter Corbeau, Xavier is a Brood Queen (who is a jerk), Bob McLeod draws really good teenagers, the New Mutants do an after-school special, Chris Sims drops in for some emergency X-Plaining, Elsie Carson is the Harvey and Janet of Hydra, and Team America is generally sort of baffling.

X-Plained

Viper
Brood stuff
The original New Mutans (more) (again)
The New Mutants #1-6
Denial
Dani vs. the Danger Room
Mall stories
Neighborhood kids
Henry Peter Gyrich
Sebastian Shaw (again)
Project Wideawake (sort of)
Michael Rossi
A poorly-timed crossover
Gabrielle Haller
A profoundly unethical relationship
A Very Special Episode
Overkill
Magnum, P.I.
Team America (but not that one)
Elsie Carson, middle manager of Hydra
The Girl With the Silver Eyes
X-Men reading order

The visual companion for this episode will go up mid-week, due to New York Comic-Con generally kicking our asses (Among MANY other things, Rachel is tweeting–mostly cool X-cosplay pics–from the show floor, and Miles is working at the Dark Horse booth. Come say hi!). Meanwhile, for further supplemental material, we recommend reading Chris’s in-depth history of Team America:

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

As Mentioned In Episode 23 – Meet the New Mutants

September 20, 2014 Jay 6 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne

Nova Roma. It’s probably best not to ask.

These kids!

It’s really convenient that Rahne landed in that particular position. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)

In which Moira MacTaggert is a stone cold badass. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)

Roberto da Costa is so very much Roberto da Costa. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)

He’s also Sunspot! (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)

Meanwhile, a disembodied hand has some opinions to share. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)

Sam Guthrie is such a good kid. Also nigh invulnerable when he’s blastin’! (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)

Danielle Moonstar is the best, and anyone who tells you otherwise is probably trying to sell something. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)

Xi’an Coy Mahn actually been around for a few issues–and made her debut in another title altogether–so she’s an old hand at this. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)

Aw, Bobby. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)

Sam is the nicest henchman ever, and we love him very much. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)

Donald Pierce knows he has standards to meet when it comes to villainous exposition. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)

Remember how Sam is the nicest henchman? (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)

Yeah. Sam is the nicest henchman. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)

Let’s break this down: Bobby’s room contains a pinup calendar and a framed photo of Wolverine; and his idea of heaven is a place where his dead girlfriend can watch him put on tights. Headcanon: Bobby’s secondary mutation is being the most 14-year-old boy of all the 14-year-old-boys, ever. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)

“It is time… FOR A CALLBACK TO MY FIRST APPEARANCE!” (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)

Danielle Moonstar is still the best, and Xavier is not actually a jerk in this book. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)

Aw, Sam. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)

Over nearly a decade, the New Mutants will go from this… (New Mutants #21)

…to this. Marvel, this is why you can’t have nice things. (New Mutants #100)

In her first appearance, Lila Cheney steals and fences Earth. She is the interstellar bandit Joan Jett of the Marvel Universe, and she is wonderful. (New Mutants Annual #1)

The Hellions. They’re all super doomed. (New Mutants #17)

Next week: The X-Men do Barbarella.

23 – Meet the New Mutants

September 20, 2014 Jay 22 comments

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In which Rachel and Miles return triumphant, the X-Men get a second ongoing series, we hit peak Moira MacTaggert, R-A-H-N-E is definitely pronounced “rain,” Sam Guthrie is the nicest henchman, Claremont is hit-and-miss on cultural diversity, and Bobby da Costa is the teenageriest teenager of them all.

X-Plained:

Nova Roma
The New Mutants and The New Mutants
Marvel Graphic Novels
Greenberg the Vampire
call-backs
Karma
Wolfsbane
Sunspot
Cannonball
Mirage
Whitewashing in superhero comics
The mercurial Guthrie family
Xi’an the Obscure
The Dr. Claw Effect (and why Dr. Doom and Arcade are exceptions)
Donald Pierce
Eras of New Mutants
Lila Cheney
The Hellions

Next Week: The X-Men do Barbarella

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

As Mentioned in Episode 15 – The Ballad of Harvey and Janet

July 20, 2014 Jay 16 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

Angelica of the D’Urbervilles.

Starting July 31, new episodes of Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men will be available every Thursday at Comics Alliance! We’ll also continue to release them every Sunday–along with the visual companion–at our site, as well as iTunes, and Stitcher, ; but if you want to be the first kid on the block to hear ’em, head to ComicsAlliance.com on Thursdays!

Meanwhile, want to help support the podcast–and get additional content and cool swag? Please take a minute to check out our Patreon campaign! We’ve got some very cool rewards, but the best part–we think–are the Milestone goals, which are sort of like the X-Men team-up moves of Patreon: giant-size annuals, written posts, original art, a print zine, and more!

“What wardrobe?” “My point exactly.” (X-Men #148)

Lee Forrester: The Best Ever. (X-Men #148)

Good luck with that, buddy. (X-Men #148)

“No, but you’ll be a sorcerer with your own Hell dimension! Won’t that be nice?” (X-Men #148)

Hi, Siryn! (X-Men #148)

Caliban and the Morlocks: Introducing the concept of passing privilege to the mutant metaphor. (X-Men #148)

last-page-of-the-issue Magneto reveals are the gift that keeps on giving. (X-Men #148)

Professor Xavier, doing our job for us. (X-Men #149)

KITTY PRYDE, YOU ARE DELIGHTFUL. (X-Men #149)

Prydeslaught, by Logan Bonner: Professor X’s unchecked rage, plus the id of a 13-year-old Kitty Pryde. We dearly wish this were canon.

Let us never speak of this again. (X-Men #149)

Still kinda bummed we didn’t make more Ann Veal jokes about this guy. “Who?” (X-Men #149)

Even his villain speech is kinda forgettable, but we will take literally any excuse to post more pictures of Kitty’s amazing outfit, so. (X-Men #149)

Phaseball Special! (X-Men #149)

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA(X-Men #149)

We appreciate how obviously Lee is trying not to laugh in this panel. (X-Men #149)

There’s… a lot going on on that cover. (X-Men #150)

Magneto’s dastardly plan is basically peaceful nuclear disarmament. (X-Men #150)

Dr. Peter Corbeau: That one NPC your DM clearly rolled up as a PC in another campaign but never got to play so instead rolled into his campaign as an overcompetent badass. (X-Men #150)

The Voyage of the Mimi was an educational show, featuring a very young Ben Affleck and an ungodly earworm of a theme song. We both watched a lot of it in middle school science classes.

Wolverine with wet hair. You’re welcome. (X-Men #150)

“Also, man, he’s got killer abs.” (X-Men #150)

If there were an X-Men drinking game, “Dark City-style brain-ray psychic duel” would definitely be on the list. (X-Men #150)

Magneto: Now available with nuance and additional backstory! (Asteroid base sold separately.) (X-Men #150)

Having taken over Storm’s body, Emma Frost celebrates by, um, quoting King Lear. (X-Men #151)

HARVEY AND JANET, WE LOVE YOU. (X-Men #151)

This week in Scenes Only Chris Claremont Could Have Written: A giant robot busting through a ceiling and telling the shocked people inside, “Fear not! All will be revealed in due course!” (X-Men #151)