Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Helicarrier

As Mentioned in Episode 499 – Light Me, Boy!

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We just want them to be happy! (X-Force #110)
That Jorge Lucas sure can draw. (X-Force #110)
GUN ARMS GUN ARMS (X-Force #110)
“The dishes… are done.” (X-Force #110)
“I mean, I’m going to space to get married and have a kid eventually, but not, like, yet.” (X-Force #110)
Next up is the PowerPoint presentation. (X-Force #110)
That shirt is held together by the sheer power of the Comics Code Authority. (X-Force #111)
X-FOOOOORRRRRCCCEEE (X-Force #111)
I guess they take after their dad? Kind of? (X-Force #111)
Deep (cerebral) tissue massage. (X-Force #111)
Listen, Valentina, the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb! And I guess the green liquid in those lady-tubes is maybe somewhere in between! (X-Force #111)
In which the link between SHIELD and OSI from The Venture Bros is even more obvious than usual. I think it’s the inking. (X-Force #112)
Timely… (X-Force #112)
Racal x-plains his extremely belated remorse. (X-Force #112)
I guess those lava lamp babies actually had it kind of good. (X-Force #112)
X-Force has always been a subtle book. (X-Force #113)
Yep. Subtle. (X-Force #113)
Half a world away, Cable smiles and doesn’t know why. (X-Force #113)
Awesome x4 (X-Force #113)
Striptease speedrun! (X-Force #113)
NEXT TIME: Somehow we’ve made 500 of these?!

Jay’s X-Major Arcana

  • 0 Fool – Wolverine (Logan)
  • 1 Magician – Forge
  • 2 High Priestess – Storm
  • 3 Empress – Emma Frost
  • 4 Emperor – Cyclops
  • 5 Hierophant – Charles Xavier
  • 6 Lovers – Gambit and Rogue
  • 7 Chariot – Magneto
  • 8 Justice – Bishop
  • 9 Hermit – Mystique
  • 10 Wheel of Fortune – Destiny
  • 11 Strength – Mirage with Wolfsbane
  • 12 Hanged Man – Havok (alt. Iceman)
  • 13 Death – Archangel
  • 14 Temperance – Nightcrawler
  • 15 Devil – Sebastian Shaw
  • 16 Tower – Quentin Quire
  • 17 Star – Hope
  • 18 Moon – Magik
  • 19 Sun – Shadowcat
  • 20 Judgement – Phoenix
  • 21 World – Krakoa

As Mentioned in Episode 456 – Until/Unless

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Techno-organic cover #1! (Uncanny X-Men #371)
Cheer up, Chuck – it’s just naptime at your school! I guess they all forgot their red and blue mats. (Uncanny X-Men #371)
I’m not so sure about this plot development, but… she’s just so happy! (Uncanny X-Men #371)
Hey, don’t judge: you look way grosser under your outer layer. (Uncanny X-Men #371)
“Dis was not in Gambit’s horoscope!” (Uncanny X-Men #371)
The Phalanx Covenant by Doctor Seuss. (Uncanny X-Men #371)
Techno-organic cover #2! (X-Men #91)
Take that, Billy G! You know what you did. (X-Men #91)
I love these weird faces and terrifying bone-trees! (X-Men #91)
Oof, brutal. (But nice dress, Rogue!) (X-Men #91)
URRKK indeed! (X-Men #91)
And for one panel, we were joined by the spirit of Bill Sienkiewicz. (X-Men #91)
Techno-organic cover #3! Yep, that’s Colossus’s arm from the last cover – we didn’t realize they connected until our listener Alex pointed it out on the blog! (X-Men Annual 1999)
This montage is way more efficient at describing continuity than our podcast. (X-Men Annual 1999)
Colonel Nicholas J. Fury, leading with guns and crotch. (X-Men Annual 1999)
Red Skull loves the Power Glove. It’s so bad. (X-Men Annual 1999)
Miles learned about the field of neurosurgery’s Thumbtack Technique back in college. (X-Men Annual 1999)
Go, Gadget, Go! (X-Men Annual 1999)
Yes, we know Douglock’s robo-suspenders started out as a miscoloring of his New Mutants uniform, but… they kinda work? (X-Men Annual 1999)
None of these new series will make it past a year. (X-Men Annual 1999)
NEXT TIME: Cecilia’s back!

456 – Until/Unless

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In which there’s nothing inherently wrong with monster-of-the-week; Marrow’s makeover extends to her font; Red Skull gets a Power Glove; Marvel sets up a slate of spinoffs; and you should hire Matt Hunter to produce your podcast!

X-PLAINED:

  • What Danger’s been up to lately
  • Uncanny X-Men #371
  • X-Men #91
  • X-Men Annual 1999
  • Crossover cover design
  • Skrullverine
  • Machine Man
  • Dethlok vs. Dethklok
  • Jack Truman (Agent 18) (to some extent)
  • A nice dress
  • An awkward reunion
  • Gambit as a mentor
  • Billy G.
  • A daring but silly rescue
  • Several upcoming series
  • Marrow’s bone bikini and/or pubes
  • Whether Rogue can absorb animals

NEXT EPISODE: Cecilia Reyes returns from retirement!

Want to hire J&MXPtXM producer Matt Hunter to produce your podcast? Email him!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 355 – All Sentinels Are Bastards

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
See, this is why I’ll never drive in New York. (Amazing Spider-Man #415)
“Did I say guardian angels? I meant guardian spiders. Hey, things were different in the sixties.” (Amazing Spider-Man #415)
What year did this comic come out? Oh, right. 1996. (Amazing Spider-Man #415)
“Also, my son is a magical astronaut werewolf, and he’d stay and help!” (Amazing Spider-Man #415)
Inkers don’t get enough respect. (Spider-Man #72)
Jeez, even the Sentinels have traffic jams! What did I say about never driving in New York? (Spider-Man #72)
Weekend At Spider-Bernie’s. (Spider-Man #72)
Aww, these kids. (Spider-Man #72)
Now this is how you Spider-Man. (Spider-Man #72)
Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 1. (Green Goblin #12)
Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 2. (Green Goblin #12)
Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 3. (Green Goblin #12)
Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 4. (Green Goblin #12)
Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 5. (Green Goblin #12)
Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 6. (Green Goblin #12)
Frank Punisher is in over his head. (Punisher #11)
“A mustache and a wing-suit? Those student loans were worth every cent!” (Punisher #11)
This has never once happened in the history of the Marvel Universe. Never. Once. (Punisher #11)
The speech bubble says DOGS but the jet-ski says DOGZ – I don’t know who to believe! (Punisher #11)
Cap’n Bloodscream smiles approvingly from the next ship over. (Punisher #11)
“And I just had some firemen hose me down, so I am ready for this.” (Punisher #11)
NEXT TIME: End-slaught.

355 – All Sentinels Are Bastards

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we take a break from X-Men to talk Onslaught tie-ins; Miles learns about coffee shop AUs; Sentinels are very large; there are no bystanders in a crossover event; we are really not Punisher people; and all the bad guys have plans.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Clone Saga (briefly)
  • How not to dispose of a dead clone
  • Ben Reilly
  • Amazing Spider-Man #415
  • Spider-Man #72
  • Green Goblin #12
  • Punisher #11
  • Onslaught’s increasingly nebulous goals
  • Sentinel timing
  • Coffee shop AUs
  • Sentinels in Manhattan
  • Several fights with Sentinels
  • Green Goblin (Phil Urich)
  • Uncles Ben
  • The Lunatic Laugh
  • Punisher (Frank Castle) (briefly)
  • Yet another helicarrier crash
  • The happiest cannon fodder
  • The Junkyard Dogs
  • Rashid Hammer Jones
  • The surprisingly exciting world of NYC maritime salvage
  • Make-believe superpowers
  • Deadlines

NEXT EPISODE: A Big Fight

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 343 – The Water Cooler of Violence

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
LIES ALL LIES (X-Force #55)
(Probably not a LMD. This time.) (X-Force #55)
I’m not sure sound works like that, but it’s still cool. (X-Force #55)
And now you know how animated Wolverine feels. (X-Force #55)
Well, that’s one way to open a giant door. (X-Force #55)
Seriously, why is he in his underwear? (X-Force #55)
It’s really not any harder to believe than anything else in this comic. (X-Force #55)
Sacrelicious! (X-Force #56)
The Benjamin Russell storyline really doesn’t make any sense when you break it down… (X-Force #56)
I have nightmares like this. (X-Force #56)
IT WAS GAMESMASTER ALL ALONG SURE WHY NOT (X-Force #56)
We kinda forgot to cover this first time ’round. (X-Men Unlimited #8)
Puberty’s rough, buddy. (X-Men Unlimited #8)
“There’s a new mutant about to manifest! Let’s have the MOST UNSETTLING X-Man go follow him around!” (X-Men Unlimited #8)
Seriously, there is NO evidence at this point that it’s the word “mutant” that sends the kid running and not, say, the lightning. (X-Men Unlimited #8)
This is the part where it starts to feel like one of those books you could get in the ’80s with your kid’s name as the protagonist. (X-Men Unlimited #8)
See what I mean? (X-Men Unlimited #8)
“They usually bring you back in a dozen or so issues. Why?” (X-Men Unlimited #8)
And they all lived happily ever after.* *Joined the Thunderbolts, became Maverick, maybe blew up? (X-Men Unlimited #8)
NEXT EPISODE: Where no mutant has gone before!

LINKS & FURTHER CATASTROPHES:

343 – The Water Cooler of Violence

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which X-Force carries on the New Mutants’ tradition of property damage; a lot of people have infiltrated Helicarriers; G.W. Bridge makes it weird; Gamesmaster returns to no particular end; and we go back in time to cover the origins of Chris Bradley.

X-PLAINED:

  • The deaths of several Worthingtons
  • X-Force #55-56
  • X-Men Unlimited #8
  • A legacy of explosions
  • Uncanny X-Men #333 (briefly) (again)
  • A heist
  • Several of the many characters who had successfully infiltrated Helicarriers as of 1996
  • Dum Dum Dugan
  • Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine
  • The glory days off LASER tag
  • Church fights
  • Subtext
  • The Weisman Institute for the Criminally Insane (more) (again)
  • How to pronounce “Risque”
  • Chris Bradley
  • Hans Jensen
  • Nostalgia goggles and their absence
  • Civilian awareness of cosmic Marvel
  • Asgard, Oklahoma
  • Annalee

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Where No Mutant Has Gone Before

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 265 – Rude Awakenings

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Is anyone else weirded out by the fact that that’s supposed to be Forge in the lower right-hand corner? (X-Men Annual #5)
The Shi’ar sext WEIRD. (X-Men Annual #5)
Professor X was definitely naked, right? (X-Men Annual #5)
The weirdest thing about this panel is that the tractor beam seems to have shrunk her shirt by about half. (X-Men Annual #5)
Professor X X-Plains human-Shi’ar relations. (X-Men Annual #5)
FASHION! (X-Men Annual #5)
Imagine how confusing it must be to run into Jubilee on alien planets. (X-Men Annual #5)
I DID NOT NOTICE THE HANGING TEDDY BEAR UNTIL I CLIPPED THE PANEL FOR THIS VISUAL COMPANION. (X-Men Annual #5)
He’s a hugger. (X-Men Annual #5)
Be fair, Gambit: there are a LOT of reasons Cyclops is never fun at parties. (X-Men #34)
BUT WHO IS LURKING IN THE FOREGROUND? (X-Men #34)
Sinister, moisturize your damn clones. (X-Men #34)
Oh, hey, Threnody! (X-Men #34)
‘Kay. (X-Men #34)
Ewwwwwwww. (X-Men #34)
Please bear in mind that these are costumes S.H.I.E.L.D. just happened to have lying around the Helicarrier. (X-Men #35)
“Also, do you know how hard it was to dress you in skintight neoprene while you were unconscious?” (X-Men #35)
The end of the world looks pretty rad. (X-Men #35)
Some artists definitely made some choices. (X-Men #35)
That’s our Cyclops. (X-Men #35)
Some of the layouts in this issue are really nice. (X-Men #35)
Sunset Grace X-Plains Sunset Grace (and marries Ronald Reagan). (X-Men #35)
Ouch. (X-Men #35)
NEXT EPISODE: Malice!

FURTHER LISTENING

265 – Rude Awakenings

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Glen Danzig was the most popular Wolverine fancast for a weirdly long time; breasts have physical mass; the Shi’ar empire is not your friend; Deathbird should not be left in charge of anything alive; Jubilee learns about privilege; Sinister is not subtle; plasma is the new magnetism; Scott and Jean return from the future; and Nick Fury probably sews his name into the waistband of all his underpants.

X-PLAINED:

  • Some guy from Earth-1610
  • X-Men: Unlimited #5
  • X-Men #34-35
  • Shi’ar sexting
  • A rude awakening (literal)
  • Rococo Stryfe
  • Some uncomfortable fashion choices
  • X-pajamas
  • Definitely nude Charles Xavier
  • Breasts
  • Shi’ar imperial bullshit
  • A very impressive headdress
  • Reality TV… in space!
  • A rude awakening (metaphorical)
  • Shi’ar childhood
  • Negotiation
  • A total dick move
  • Another total dick move
  • Beast’s brief tenure as field leader of the X-Men
  • The return of Threnody
  • The titles of several sex tapes
  • High-tech spelunking
  • Sinister’s secret DNA library
  • Controversial outfits
  • Nick Fury’s stuff
  • Sunset Grace
  • The racism inherent to Evan Sabahnur’s background
  • A question we’ve answered before and will probably answer again

NEXT EPISODE: Malice!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!