Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Hela

As Mentioned in Episode 464 – The Cigarettes of Damocles

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The life of a Lyft driver is wild, man. (X-Force #96)
“Weirdest cigarette I ever seen.” (X-Force #96)
So Thomas/Tyler Guthrie is the Super Saiyan version of Sam? (X-Force #96)
Somebody call Occult Animal Control! (X-Force #96)
The award for Most Dramatic Lounging goes to… (X-Force #96)
Okay, Deviants, just because you look cool doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be bigoted jerks. (X-Force #96)
Sledge is wearing his ass-kicking fringe. (X-Force #96)
Lucas owns better socks – he just wears these for effect. (X-Force #96)
What we like about Selene is that she’s subtle. (X-Force #97)
Wow, healthcare really is better in other countries. (X-Force #97)
Hey, it’s a The Predator! Hello, The Predator! (X-Force #97)
Ah, so that’s how Ash Wednesday works! (X-Force #97)
Does this junkyard robo-dog fight contribute to the plot? No. Is it awesome? Obviously. (X-Force #97)
Selene is seriously never in a normal position! And we love it. (X-Force #97)
I’m pretty sure that Odysseus’s powers just made a BOI-OI-OING sound. (X-Force #97)
GNORFF (X-Force #97)
Yeah, DaCosta is da best! (X-Force #98)
Storm : Enclosed Spaces :: Cannonball : Dying Miners (X-Force #98)
Sunspot attends Selene’s art gallery opening, Concerned and X-Treme. (X-Force #98)
I never get tired of how Mephisto wears a trenchcoat like any given World of Darkness character. (X-Force #98)
Oof, that body language. (X-Force #98)
Jeez, I guess Miles could’ve skipped those four years of psychology. (X-Force #98)
YIPE YIPE YIPE (X-Force #98)
“So you see, that’s where the trouble began. That smile. That damned smile.” (X-Force #98)
NEXT TIME: Prepare to be Astonished! Maybe!

464 – The Cigarettes of Damocles

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In which X-Force is kind of silly; that really isn’t what “quantum” means; polite and lawful are two entirely different things, and Sam Guthrie is only one of them; Selene vogues; and the Hellfire Club plays the dead girlfriend card.

X-PLAINED:

  • Blackheart
  • The Damocles Foundation (more) (again)
  • Lucas Bartholomew Guthrie
  • The difference between prisons and jails
  • X-Force #98-98
  • Whether Dr. Octopus enjoys the literary stylings of Elmore Leonard
  • One way to get out of prison
  • The Glitterbox
  • An unsuccessful heist
  • Celestial cigarettes and/or golems
  • Thomas and/or Tyler Zebulon and/or Zeke Guthrie
  • Demon Bears as urban pests
  • Selene, Always Voguing
  • Gatherers
  • Various evil scientists
  • The Sword
  • Junkyard life
  • Lenny Delmonico
  • Psychic rodeos
  • Nightmare chambers
  • Bat sex
  • An offer Sunspot can’t refuse
  • Hank McCoy’s villain arc
  • New Mutant superlatives

NEXT EPISODE: Astonishing X-Men!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 376 – Moore of This

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
You’ve come a long way from tick-tick-boom, Tabitha. (X-Force #63)
Dammit, X-Force! You were already living in the same house as the X-Men, and now you have their color scheme too? (X-Force #63)
When continuity is character. (X-Force #63)
Oh, great, it’s that dream again. (X-Force #63)
Yep, Lila Cheney is just that good. (X-Force #63)
“Alright, Agents! Just like we practiced: POSE!” (X-Force #63)
Ah, come on, Bobby – you’ve been to space and multiple other dimensions. Get over yourself. (X-Force #64)
Meanwhile in Spookytown (X-Force #64)
GAVEEDRA BENJAMIN SEVEN YOU PUT THOSE SWORDS DOWN RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR (X-Force #64)
But… but ambush is the exact thing you just did! (X-Force #64)
We immediately love John Francis Moore’s Meltdown. (X-Force #64)
We’ve missed you, Julio. (X-Force #64)
Michael McCain, AKA Forearm, AKA a guy in a shirt best described as “normal”. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)
You put that down! Bad dog! Drop it! DROP IT! (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)
Meltdown auditions for Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)
Like the Rainbow Bridge but somehow more cosmic! Or at least differently cosmic. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)
Presenting Malekith the Accursed. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)
Is Caliban huge or is Shatterstar tiny? The world will never know! (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)
Our high school English teacher always told us we needed to learn the rules of writing so we could more effectively break them. This page does that with its panel borders. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)
Mutants and dwarves and giants, oh my! (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)
Hela: goddess of death and high fashion. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)
NEXT TIME: Do not mess with Domino.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

376 – Moore of This

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we begin John Francis Moore’s run on X-Force; Latveria is less fun without Doctor Doom; there may still be a tiny clone of Meltdown running around; Forearm is a good pal; Marvel Asgard is a realm of crossover fan fiction;  and you should totally watch both Our Flag Means Death and Doom Patrol.

X-PLAINED:

  • Blackbeard, somewhat
  • X-Force #63-64
  • X-Force & Cable Annual 1997
  • Life after Onslaught
  • Dimitri Fortunov
  • Dr. Doom’s time podium
  • New costumes
  • Liddleville
  • Latveria, 1941
  • Sturmfanger
  • Valkyrie (Brunhilde)
  • Aragorn (but not that one)
  • The Mutant Liberation Front (again) (briefly)
  • A large dog who may or may not have eaten a horse
  • Valkyries (more) (again)
  • What all the former New Mutants are up to
  • Yggdrasil and the Nine Realms (again)
  • Malekith the Accursed
  • Kindra the Dwarf (again)
  • Skadi the Frost Giant
  • Hela (again) (briefly)
  • Doctor Who analogs
  • What we miss about the Silver Age

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Domino goes solo!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop! This month, TeePublic is matching our sales with a donation to Equality Florida!!!

As Mentioned in Episode 132 – Nornheim Lemonade

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
“I mean, seriously, this is how EVERY FIGHT YOU’VE GOTTEN INTO THIS STORY has gone. Are you really surprised?” (New Mutants #82)
Aw, man. Rictor is such a good dude. (New Mutants #82)
Hela: Actually really good at this whole “villainous plan” business. (New Mutants #82)
“Also, I’m super into wrestling.” (New Mutants #83)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (New Mutants #83)
Volstagg’s kids are so awesome. (New Mutants #84)
Ula and the Savage Swarm! (New Mutants #84)
If you can’t punch pterosaurs, punching the jerks riding them is the next best option. (New Mutants #84)
Let’s have a moment of awed silence for the sheer audacity of Baldur’s outfit. (New Mutants #84)
FIIIIIIIGHT! (New Mutants #85)
Asgard: where you can have a dramatic death and then show up again WITHOUT resorting to retcons! (New Mutants #85)
Evil Dani is EVIL, man. (New Mutants #85)
And that’s how you sound-effect. (New Mutants #85)
Hela, of course, manages to work in one final villain speech. Because she’s a pro. (New Mutants #85)
Considering that Rob Liefeld’s run starts next issue, I’m gonna go with “no.” (New Mutants #85)
Meanwhile on Midgard*, Rusty and Skids basically play out variations on this gag forever. (New Mutants #84)

*Earth
Bret Blevins does draw a pretty splendid Vulture, though. (New Mutants #83)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. Celestials!

LINKS:

  • We covered the first half of the Asgard Adventure in Episode 127 – Disaster City.
  • COME SEE US AT VEGAS VALLEY COMIC BOOK FEST ON NOVEMBER 5! It’s an awesome convention, and we will be doing a VERY SPECIAL live show.

132 – Nornheim Lemonade

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Rusty is an honorary Bluth; we bid a sad farewell to Bret Blevins; Hogan the Grim is probably the best at bedtime stories; Asgard has really tight hat game; Hela is a remarkably competent supervillain; there are some sound effects you have to earn; Rusty and Skids fight the Vulture; and Miles has so many feelings about Thor.

X-PLAINED:

  • Cortex
  • Damian Tryp
  • Our weird 2016 recording schedule
  • Jay & Miles at Vegas Valley Comic Book Fest 2016
  • Recent ResurrXion announcements
  • The second half of the Asgard Adventure
  • The end of Bret Blevins’ New Mutants run
  • New Mutants #82-85
  • The Odinsleep
  • A fairly upsetting board game
  • Volstagg’s awesome kids
  • Tiwaz of the Wastes
  • Many excellent hats
  • Ula and the Savage Swarm
  • Garm
  • Miles’s favorite Fenrir story
  • A remarkably clever villainous plan
  • A signature sound effect
  • Karnilla the Norn Queen
  • Cable’s relationship to Longshot
  • Recommendations for a comics newcomer

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. Celestials, as Judgment War concludes!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 127 – Disaster City

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Tabitha, no. (New Mutants #77)
Well, that can’t be good. (New Mutants #77)
Aw, man, Hela is such a fun villain. (New Mutants #78)
WHOOPS! (New Mutants #78)
Remember when we didn’t like Brett Blevins? MEA CULPA. (New Mutants #79)
TABITHA, NO. (New Mutants #79)
Blevins’s Hela is DELIGHTFUL. (New Mutants #79)
This gag doesn’t really stop being funny. (New Mutants #80)
Aw, Boom Boom. We knew you’d come through! (New Mutants #80)
Hela gets equal billing with her expansive gestures and sweet headgear. (New Mutants #80)
NEXT WEEK: Judgment War!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

127 – Disaster City

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which we get back on the continuity train; everything is the aftermath of Inferno forever; you should never fight a tractor or a horse without first putting on some damn pants; Vincent Price would’ve made a terrific Doctor Strange; Rusty Collins never really gets a fair break; Boom Boom is in over her head; and Brett Blevins takes his place as the definitive New Mutants artist.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mirage’s on-again-off-again Valkyrie career
  • Asgardia
  • The New Mutants’ previous Asgard adventures
  • The best single issue of all time
  • The Naglfar
  • A proposal for a new calendar
  • New Mutants #77-80
  • The Ust-Ordynski Collective (again) (more)
  • There’s Stuff Going On: The Doctor Strange Story
  • A very bad decision
  • Why unicorns are the worst
  • Doctor Stephen Sanders / Doctor Strange / Doctor Dad
  • Let’s Make a Deal
  • Whether arson counts as a personality trait
  • Several nefarious plans
  • Creative growth
  • Disaster City
  • Fun with the Technarchy
  • Mindful representation
  • Miles’s dad’s comics collection

NEXT EPISODE: Judgment War!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

119 – Red Night of the Soul (feat. Elisabeth Allie)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Elisabeth hacks the Matrix; Magneto is the worst at small talk; Hela overreaches; parents just don’t understand human speech; everything is better with super-rings; Selene has a Xena moment; almost anything can be solved with a kiss; and even if you transform Doug Ramsey into a giant red murder monster, he’ll still be a huge nerd.

X-PLAINED:

  • The S-Men
  • New Mutants Forever #1-5
  • Magma’s revised family tree
  • Updating the New Mutants
  • The delicate balance of the Forever line
  • The web
  • Idiom confusion
  • A flawed cultural analogy
  • Tiberius the Generic
  • Several profoundly dubious costumes
  • Family resemblance
  • Skull v. Skull
  • The dearth of canonically asexual X-characters

NEXT EPISODE: Different Nazis

Miles here – in one of the questions for this episode, I conflated asexuality and aromanticness. Those are totally two different things. Apologies – I’m still learning!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 83 – Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/22/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
It is reasonably appropriate to judge this book by its cover. (X-Men Annual #3)
Spot the references. (X-Men Annual #3)
ARKON THE MAGNIFICENT! (X-Men Annual #3)
I guess when your job is cleaning up after Tony Stark, the existential hellscape of Funky Winkerbean starts to feel like a vacation. (X-Men Annual #3)
DON’T TOUCH THE HAIR! (X-Men Annual #3)
You’d think the Danger Room would have ANY KIND OF REMOTELY FUNCTIONAL SAFETY PROTOCOLS BY NOW, but no. (X-Men Annual #3)
The art makes a really, really good counterpoint to the conversation in these panels. (X-Men Annual #3)
Cyclops encouraging other characters to talk about their feelings: NEVER NOT FUNNY. (X-Men Annual #3)
Don’t forget to watch TV, kids! You never know when it’ll come in handy! (X-Men Annual #3)
The best thing about this panel is Wolverine’s understated “Geez.” (X-Men Annual #3)
“I mean, look, there’s a really good chance we’re just going to straight-up explode.” (X-Men Annual #3)
Starman #4 is about a Hawaiian shirt that is a gateway to heaven. In related news, you should all go read Starman RIGHT NOW, because it is WONDERFUL.
If you’re not hearing Queen in your head right now, I don’t really understand you. (X-Men Annual #3)
Things that are not awesome about this fight panel: NONE OF THEM. (X-Men Annual #3)
SHE’LL SAVE EVERY ONE OF US! (X-Men Annual #3)
“Oh, y’know, just stole a dragon from some flying commandos. No big deal.” (X-Men Annual #3)
This planet sucks. (X-Men Annual #3)
Wolverine, that’s not… y’know what? Never mind. (X-Men Annual #3)
I’m pretty sure that no writer will ever reference this again. (X-Men Annual #3)
“Well, that, or the colorist forgot to make it red, which also happens sometimes.” (X-Men Annual #3)
Somewhere in the multiverse, there’s a universe where the X-Men went, “Fuck it. Let’s just go be space barbarians.” (X-Men Annual #3)
NEXT WEEK: This jerk.

LINKS & FURTHER READING: