Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: hank mccoy

As Mentioned in Episode 211 – A Cornucopia of Mayhem

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Really, though, it was all just a hilarious misunderstanding. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
I’m just gonna let Jubilee caption this one… (Uncanny X-Men #295)
…Yep. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
PSYLOCKE, MURDER IS OCCASIONALLY NOT THE ANSWER. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
This is not actually a lot like child-rearing. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
It is very, very 1992 in here. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
Aw, Sam. You’re a good kid. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
NEXT ISSUE: Three men without inside voices. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
Sure, why not? (X-Factor #85)
Even Apocalypse is horrified by the ramifications of this mess. (X-Factor #85)
Compromise is the heart of teamwork! (X-Factor #85)
I really love both the art in this issue and Dragoness’s design as drawn by Jae Lee. (X-Factor #85)
It’s a metaphor! With robots! Probably! (X-Factor #85)
Awk-ward. (X-Factor #85)
You see what I mean about the DragonQuest thing? (X-Men #15)
Why is Psylocke standing like this mid-fight? Or at all, honestly? A MYSTERY FOR THE AGES. (X-Men #15)
I’m glad that Colossus’s Angst Landscaping has persevered. (X-Men #15)
No, Stryfe. And I think you know that. (X-Men #15)
new body who dis (X-Men #15)
NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, STRYFE. (X-Force #17)
Oh, that’ll end well. (X-Force #17)
Logan ABSOLUTELY deserved that. (X-Force #17)
Ouch. (X-Force #17)
Objectively, I know that X-Men #137 callbacks are calculated manipulation, BUT THEY ALWAYS WORK ANYWAY. (X-Force #17)
NEXT EPISODE: Man, this is a long event.

LINKS & FURTHER EXPERIMENTS:

211 – A Cornucopia of Mayhem: X-Cutioner’s Song (Part 2 of 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jubilee is underwhelmed by X-Force; Havok and Gambit make weirdly good buddy cops; Department K is a hot vacation destination; Cable is secretly a Coen Brothers protagonist; you can cancel Community but you can never take away Jay’s gratuitous Community references; Rusty goes full cultist; nobody is Stryfe’s real dad; smoking on a space station is a REALLY bad idea; Apocalypse is here to help; and Miles lies at length about music.

X-PLAINED:

  • Kuurth
  • Various Juggernauts
  • The Story So Far
  • More trading-card taxonomy
  • Uncanny X-Men #295
  • X-Factor #85
  • X-Men #15
  • X-Force #17
  • Varyingly hilarious misunderstandings
  • Wire Mothers: Harry Harlow and the Science of Love
  • What happened
  • Good Cop / Sleazy Cop
  • A deal
  • A tragic absence of Draculas
  • The Coen Brothers’ X-Cutioner’s Song
  • Thanksgiving with Cable
  • Miles’s summer camp hijinks
  • Murderbots in space (again)
  • A dubious strategy
  • MLF Redshirts
  • The second time someone force-fed superheroes baby food in space
  • A dropped plot thread
  • Things you shouldn’t do on space stations
  • Additional awkward reunions
  • Whether Stryfe is a Summers
  • The X-Cutioner’s signature karaoke song

NEXT EPISODE: Dang, this event is long.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 210 – The End of Tomorrow

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
What Rogue’s wearing was actually our school uniform back in 1992! (Uncanny X-Men #294)
Scott, you chowderhead. (Uncanny X-Men #294)
Do NOT invite Caliban to your wedding. Or probably to anything. (Uncanny X-Men #294)
You know, sometimes Professor Xavier really isn’t a jerk. (Uncanny X-Men #294)
Professor Xavier is shot in the dark future of Earth-811… (New Mutants #18)
…and in the dark present of Earth-616. (Uncanny X-Men #294)
Kids, your day is not going to get better from here. (Uncanny X-Men #294)
Have we mentioned we love Jae Lee’s art? We love Jae Lee’s art. (X-Factor #84)
At karaoke, Archangel’s voice is just okay, but his performance is 10/10. (X-Factor #84)
I mean, let’s be real – that’s pretty hot. (X-Factor #84)
EVERYBODY FIGHTS EVERYBODY (X-Factor #84)
The X-Men are so good at posing in this era. (X-Factor #84)
“Dear diary: I finally said it! I said the line!” (X-Factor #84)
Man, Andy Kubert could draw someone doing their taxes and it’d look superheroic. (X-Men #14)
Except that time 16 years later when you shoot him in the head, ya doof. (X-Men #14)
Jean Grey: CGC 8.4 Scott Summers: CGC 7.2 (X-Men #14)
Not Rictor’s best pickup line… But also not his worst. (X-Men #14)
Apocalypse, you have got to turn your shower temperature down. That hot water is awful for your skin. (X-Men #14)
That’s a clove cigarette, in case you can’t tell. (X-Men #14)
X-Force: both very sympathetic and very colorful! I miss when badasses wore colors other than black. (X-Force #16)
EVERYBODY FIGHTS EVERYBODY SOME MORE (X-Force #16)
“You see, Piotr, this is how we entered every building back in our X-Factor days!” (X-Force #16)
Mister Sinister: pleased as punch. (X-Force #16)
There’s seriously nothing we can add to this. (X-Force #16)
Best not to dwell. (X-Force #16)
NEXT EPISODE: It is definitely not.

LINKS & FURTHER ADVENTURES:

210 – The End of Tomorrow: X-Cutioner’s Song (Part 1 of 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which you may or may not have your own Black Bug Room; FlameCon was in fact every bit as wonderful as we projected (and more); Caliban hates true love; no one will ever be as extra as Mister Sinister; X-Cutioner’s Song is secretly a farce; we achieve Peak Cable; and the quintessential ’90s crossover event begins!

X-PLAINED:

  • The Black Bug Room
  • A good deal of pre-event status quo
  • Uncanny X-Men #294
  • X-Factor #84
  • X-Men #14
  • X-Force #16
  • Trading card taxonomy
  • The opening strains of a crossover event
  • A concert that worked out better in theory than in practice
  • An abduction
  • Several attempted murders
  • A large number of awkward reunions
  • An even larger number of inter-team brawls
  • Two villains pretending to be other villains
  • Cape logistics
  • Peak Cable
  • Many pouches
  • Many guns
  • The origin of Hope Summers
  • Our hopes for mutants in the MCU

NEXT EPISODE: Aw, Stryfe, no.

NOTE: At one point in this episode, Miles said “X-Force” when he actually meant “X-Factor.” If you can tell us where, you win the prize of eternal smugness (not as much smugness as Sinister, but still a lot).

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 201 – Pump Up the Jam

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Listen to the podcast here.

 

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Damn, that’s a nice cover. (X-Men #10)
I mean, one of them is definitely not playing a part. (X-Men #10)
I know, buddy. I know. (X-Men #10)
Wait for it… (X-Men #10)
*snicker* (X-Men #10)
Throwing this in mostly because it’s a gorgeous panel. (X-Men #10)
Not even the end of the issue, really. (X-Men #10)
Wait, wasn’t Jon Bon Jovi blond in 1992? (X-Men #10)
That is some choice sideeye. (X-Men #11)
A little bit louder, and a little bit worse. (X-Men #11)
“Hey, wanna see if we can make the Psylocke/Cyclops sexual tension even MORE uncomfortable?” (X-Men #11)
TFW you’re just thankful the control booth is lined with Mojonium(TM). (X-Men #11)
Toxic masculinity saves the day! (X-Men #11)
Mojo directing his own murder is a little bit creepy. (X-Men #11)
YOU’D THINK ONCE WOULD HAVE BEEN ENOUGH, BUT NO. (X-Men #11)
“Know what would be the worst, though? If we were all characters in a comic book.” (X-Men #11)
I don’t understand what’s happening around Maverick’s crotch; and frankly, I don’t care to. (X-Men #10)
This guy. (X-Men #10)
Can we get a close-up on that caption, though? (X-Men #10)
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT, HARRAS. (X-Men #10)
Thaaaaaat’s our Maverick! (X-Men #11)
It really, really looks like Professor X’s head isn’t attached to his body. (X-Men #12)
Carter Ryking has come unstuck in time, but not really. (X-Men #12)
Aw, man, it’s nice to have a reminder of why I sometimes really like these two together. (X-Men #12)
I mean, Gambit and Rogue are doing okay, so the dysfunction had to go somewhere… (X-Men #12)
ART CHALLENGE: What’s in the file? Fill in those empty pages! (X-Men #12)
And the skeletons are like, “Dude, we’re RIGHT HERE.” (X-Men #12)
While these are all valid concerns, they’d be alleviated somewhat if anyone ever bothered to draw Professor X with a decent wheelchair. Seriously, X-Men artists, DO SOME BASIC RESEARCH ON THIS. (X-Men #12)
Now there’s a guy who knows how to put the “fun” in “funeral.” (X-Men #12)
Yeah, Logan, don’t get into a feels-off with Rogue. You won’t win. (X-Men #13)
Nicieza’s Beast is really, really good. (X-Men #13)
Aw, Jubilee. (X-Men #13)
Show him what he’s won, Rusty and Skids! (X-Men #13)
NEXT EPISODE: A musical interlude with X-Factor!

201 – Pump Up the Jam

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we begin our third podcast century; Cyclops is bi-inclusive; we have high standards for Mojoworld; Dazzler can survive your big-budget horror show; Jim Lee makes his exit; video games that involve Protomen are better than video games that don’t; and plasma is the new magnetism.

X-PLAINED:

  • Carter Ryking and his Very Durable Underpants
  • Fontanelle
  • Jay & Miles Town Cry ye X-Men
  • An upcoming event
  • X-Men #10-13
  • A somewhat disappointing Wizard of Oz pastiche
  • Those who like to go both ways
  • A mysterious, shadowy figure; revealed
  • Several of Cyclops’s uncoolest Dad moments
  • Zima
  • Moist Alley
  • Mojo II: The Sequel
  • The Image exodus
  • Mojonium™
  • An announcement
  • Longshot in the Mojoverse vs. Longshot in the 616
  • A Maverick adventure
  • Alexander Ryking
  • The other Xavier File
  • Warhawk
  • The Ryking Hospital for Paranormal Research
  • A poorly defined power set
  • Technicolor skeletons
  • When and where paper was invented
  • A likely-irrelevant pattern
  • The devil who haunts Stryfe’s dreams
  • Some non-X Marvel recommendations
  • Rusty Collins’s codename

NEXT EPISODE: A musical interlude with X-Factor!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 198 – How to Destroy the Universe Without Really Trying

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Alas, the Walter Simonson cover is a false alarm. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
Sweet threads, Brigadier! (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
Life Model Decoy life is hard. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
At this point, she should really just change her code name to “Ripley.” (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
Thiiiiiiiiis guy. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
“Maybe, like, a buck fifty?” (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
And that’s why we don’t experiment on ourselves, Dr. Cayre. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
Air-Walker is a cyborg who loves his work. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
And now, a whole bunch of Lockheed making really good shifty faces! (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
Seriously, it’s basically just this for like six images. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
What, you thought I was joking? (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
I was not joking. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
(Okay, fine, I also threw in a Captain Britain suit on fire.) (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
But here’s one more Lockheed, for good measure! (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
“Remember when I basically destroyed the universe? Good times!” (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
Well, it’s no Excalibur #41 or 52, but I guess it’ll do. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
He’s got style, I’ll give him that. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
Doom is a tough audience. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
Scott Summers: hopelessly uncool in just about any time period. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
World War II Angel may in fact be the best Angel. Dang! (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
But what could it be?! (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
IT’S A HONKER OF DOOM! (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
Sure, why not? (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
This is one of those costumes that really only works in specific art styles; but this is one of them. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
I mean, he is kind of a notorious dick… (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
He died as he lived: crushed under a tower of word balloons. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
That Kitty and Bobby briefly dated later makes this much funnier. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
NEXT EPISODE: Shattershot!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

 

198 – How to Destroy the Universe Without Really Trying

41 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Excalibur goes 16-bit platformer; Alysande gets new threads; Shadowcat should probably just change her code name to Ripley; Captain Britain may or may not destroy the universe; Doctor Doom tries his hand at human resources; Excalibur is at home with weirdness; and no lizard needs breasts.

X-PLAINED:

  • Invisible Boy
  • Human heralds of Galactus
  • Excalibur Special Editions
  • Excalibur: Air Apparent
  • Excalibur: XX Crossing
  • Dr. Jonothon Cayre
  • Norm the LMD
  • Lava pits of Scotland
  • Some dubious herpetology
  • Eric the Cyborg (Coldblood-7)
  • Robert Cop
  • Special Man
  • Air-Walker and/or Gabriel Lam
  • A cosmic explosion
  • Captain Britain’s extra costume
  • Sidestep
  • An exceptionally awkward job interview
  • A counterintuitive plan
  • The other time-displaced X-Men
  • The best version of Angel
  • Angel’s third-greatest nemesis
  • Gladiator Hank
  • A very fancy vest
  • The best Excalibur Special Edition
  • The Phalanx vs. the Technarchy
  • Warlock vs. gender
  • Our thoughts on Avengers: Infinity War

Note: according to the letter column from Excalibur #54, at least some of the art credits for Excalibur: XX Crossing were incorrect, so some of our descriptions of who drew what in this episode are wrong. See the comments below for more information!

NEXT EPISODE: Shattershot!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 193 – Sewers of Tomorrow

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Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
On one hand: These dudes are pretty rad. On the other hand: being able to detect normal humans is a pretty ridiculous mutant power. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
John Romita, Jr. can be hit-or-miss, but he definitely draws some rad miscreants of the future. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
WOMP. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
Compulsory Fitzroy Hair Appreciation Moment(TM). (Uncanny X-Men #277)
The Witness, in all his really creepy glory. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
Can you imagine trying to have a conversation with this dude? (Uncanny X-Men #277)
I don’t understand what’s happening with Cyclops’s torso; and, frankly, I don’t want to. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
“Look! A distraction!” (Uncanny X-Men #278)
The first appearance of the letter… (Uncanny X-Men #278)
…and the second, FROM THE SAME FLIPPIN’ PAGE. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
Thaaaaat’s our Archangel! (Uncanny X-Men #278)
Can confirm. -Jay (Uncanny X-Men #278)
*Today, at least. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
Long Island cops are clearly unfamiliar with Cyburai. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Mystique is exceptionally bad at helping. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Damnit, Forge. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Storm’s reaction is appropriate. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Bobby. Have you MET your parents? (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Best. Date. Ever. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Remember that time Mikhail Rasputin turned a random skater into a tree? Because that certainly happened. (Uncanny X-Men #280)
Hanging out naked in the rain? This dude is DEFINITELY learning the ropes from Storm. (Uncanny X-Men #280)
DAMNIT, Forge. (Uncanny X-Men #280)
NEXT EPISODE: Brood trouble in the Big Easy!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

193 – Sewers of Tomorrow

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we pour one out for Malcolm and Randall; Cyclops is the worst at fun; Storm is better than you and always will be; Bishop forgets his first name; the X-Men can’t tie bow ties; Iceman’s dad is spectacularly awful; Mikhail Rasputin may have some lingering issues; and Doug Ramsey would probably have been pretty entertained by Hackers if he had survived long enough to see it.

X-PLAINED:

  • Whether Professor Xavier is dead
  • Marvel time vs. podcast time
  • Uncanny X-Men #287-290
  • The Wit and Wisdom of Henry McCoy
  • A dance of death and destruction
  • Styglut
  • Future flashbacks
  • Sewers of tomorrow
  • The Witness
  • “Fun”
  • Blood math
  • A mysterious letter
  • A terrible date
  • Several capes
  • The return of the cyburai
  • A theoretical Hackers crossover

NEXT EPISODE: Brood trouble in the Big Easy!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)