As Mentioned in Episode 472 – Leave Room for Magneto (The Twelve, Part Two)

December 22, 2024 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Intense emotion, fiddly gadgets, and dramatic narration. What more do you need? (Wolverine #146)

Gravity be damned, Nightcrawler’s going to punch some bricks and stomp some turtles. (Wolverine #146)

Generation Blue, Generation Red. (Wolverine #146)

Referencing Uncanny X-Men #211. (Wolverine #146)

Warren Kenneth Worthington III, you give that tiny caveman back his club! (Wolverine #146)

Referencing Uncanny X-Men #170. (Wolverine #146)

Referencing Uncanny X-Men #179. (Wolverine #146)

Now that is a fight scene. (Wolverine #146)

Referencing Uncanny X-Men #153. (Wolverine #146)

Referencing Uncanny X-Men #169. (Wolverine #146)

Referencing Uncanny X-Men #148. (Wolverine #146)

Referencing Uncanny X-Men #242. (Wolverine #146)

Referencing Wolverine #74. (Wolverine #146)

Neat, they’re (psychically) wearing their outfits from that time they were partners in Madripoor! (Wolverine #146)

Angel’s darkness looks like light? You know, that actually makes a lot of sense. (Wolverine #147)

Flechettes! (Wolverine #147)

Referencing… oh, wait, this one actually has a caption. (Wolverine #147)

Poor kid… (Wolverine #147)

United by trauma. (Wolverine #147)

Everyone is just so sharp on this page… (Wolverine #147)

Silhouettes: climax! (Wolverine #147)

Silhouettes: denouement! (Wolverine #147)

“Do I have to call your parents, children?” (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

Heh. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

I wish we saw more of these two together. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

Damaging currency is a federal crime, Wolverine! (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

This page has earned its Kirby Krackle. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

“You see, I have to be extra spooky to even out everyone else’s happiness. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

Like a hairy little astromech droid at a scomp port. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

Science! (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

And they died miserably ever after. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

NEXT TIME: The Twelve concludes!

LINKS & FURTHER FELINES:

A metaphor that is also a very real space cat
Jay is delighted to have been wrong! The Philharmonic Gets Dressed is totally still in print!
Dave has been one of Jay’s comfort movies for longer than he entirely cares to admit.

472 – Leave Room for Magneto (The Twelve, Part Two)

December 22, 2024 Jay One comment

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In which the Twelve should really be twelve chapters long; Archangel has issues; we continue to bemoan the absence of captions; the X-Men ditch their crossover event for a side quest; Magneto is Genosha’s official chaperone; and we would absolutely elect Emma Frost to a school board.

X-PLAINED:

What Cable does next
The event so far
Wolverine #146-147
Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999
Whether the Shadow King is moist
Why tiny cavemen can’t have nice things
Numerous flashbacks and allusions
Archangel’s third-stage evolution
The Philharmonic Gets Dressed
Abraham Kieros (again)
Apocalypse as a self-help guru
Fully nude Wolverine
X-51 #8 (briefly)
Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
A miracle of magnetism
Scomp linking
A big fancy machine
Exodus (more) (again)
Mutants we’d like to see in public office
The (theoretical) Essex administration

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve concludes!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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454 – X-Men ’97, Part 2

June 30, 2024 Miles 13 comments

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SPOILER WARNING: ALL OF THEM, NONSTOP

In which Barry Windsor-Smith is too sexy for television; we know what happens when unstable molecules get struck by lightning; X-Men gets political and does it spectacularly; this Captain America would not sew the cape; Magneto continues to throw things into space; and they kissed and we missed it.

X-PLAINED:

Fabian Cortez’s name
X-Men ’97 episodes 6-10
Lifedeath I & II: a surprising adaptation
Varying levels of going in blind
A somewhat different and possibly better Forge
The Adversary vs. the Owl Queen
Stormiest and least-Stormy costumes
Professor Charles Xavier, Official Space Boyfriend
Colonialism vs. Identity
Delayed catharsis
The narrative power of altered opening credits
What makes allyship effective (and not)
Justified mutant anger
The worst version of Nina DaCosta
What makes Prime Sentinels scary
Summers family feels
The best damned fight scenes out there
Bastion, robo-avatar of conservative white patriarchy
Simultaneous crossovers
A psychic gay bar
A last boss arena
Acolyte equivalencies
Phoenix Ex Machina
Crying
Whether Magneto was right
Apoca-futures and Apoca-pasts
A bulletin board and our hopes for its contents
Soft Serve
Kitty Pryde’s coffee shop AU
X-Men ’97 as the perfect gateway

NEXT EPISODE: Skrulls!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

The Judgment of Magneto by Asher Elbein

No visual companion this week!

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As Mentioned in Episode 432 – Weird Little Adventures

December 10, 2023 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

This makes it look like one of them is about to die. (Generation X #44)

The weirdest thing about Polaroids was that they could all talk. (Generation X #44)

Aw. (Generation X #44)

Siryn knows how to dress! (Generation X #44)

A plot thread that dangles to this day. (Generation X #44)

I really enjoy this credits page. (Generation X #45)

I enjoy when Monet is mischievous. (Generation X #45)

What the HELL, Sean? (Generation X #46)

Of course, it would have EMTs, but, whatever. (Generation X #46)

One way to deal with traffic. (Generation X #46)

How fast is she running?! (Generation X #46)

“I mean, they’ll have a rough time at college, but whatever.” (Generation X #46)

Forge, no. (Generation X #47)

Did… did they HAVE to live in the treehouse before?! (Generation X #47)

Later he’s going to lecture on not pissing off your girlfriend. (Generation X #47)

YOU TELL ‘IM, PARADOX! (Generation X #47)

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor and Excalibur post mortem!

432 – Weird Little Adventures

December 3, 2023 Jay 4 comments

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In which we reach the end of Larry Hama’s run on Generation X; Gaia remains remarkably normal for someone who has spent millennia chained up alone in a citadel; Synch practices radical forgiveness; we ponder the nature of Emma Frost and Sean Cassidy’s relationship; and Forge is extra unqualified to lecture on ethics.

X-PLAINED:

How Jubilee stopped being a vampire
The Draco, kinda
Generation X #44-47
Bianca LaNeige (again)
Polaroid cameras
Gaia (more) (again)
Reality warping
Woody and Arlo Guthrie
Iceland
Several continuity errors
Psi War fallout
Paul Weller
New school uniforms
Accreditation
Miss Pickwick
Penance’s nationality
Guthrie manifestation
Teamwork
Forge’s decision-making skills
Paradox
Indoor/outdoor moppets
Four theoretical horsemen of Apocalypse
Awkward family holidays

NEXT EPISODE: Jay & Miles autopsy X-Factor and Excalibur!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 424 – Times Change

September 17, 2023 Jay One comment

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Looking for a stand-alone file of the muppet opening? Here you go:

Fixx just wants to be friends. (X-Factor #146)

Seriously, what the hell is going on with that facial hair? (X-Factor #146)

Havok’s powers look so good in this whole arc. (X-Factor #146)

Aw, Shard. (X-Factor #147)

I really enjoy this scene. (X-Factor #148)

Again: Havok’s powers, looking cool. (X-Factor #148)

It really is a terrible sweater. I should probably knit it someday. (X-Factor #149)

“Have fun in Alaska!” (X-Factor #149)

Madrox doesn’t betray anyone in that future, at least. (X-Factor #149)

And that’s that. (X-Factor #149)

Narrator voice: It was, in fact, the end. (X-Factor #149)

NEXT EPISODE: Psi-War!

424 – Times Change

September 17, 2023 Jay 5 comments

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In which everything is Havok’s fault; Jay is a bad influence; Polaris makes some valid points; Jamie Madrox is the Bobby Drake of X-Factor; and X-Factor vol. 1 ends with a bang.

X-PLAINED:

Muppet rules
X-Factor, vol. 1, in general
X-Factor #146-149
Sense of place
Jude Black and his inexplicable facial hair
Boundaries
Edible Arrangements
A different kind of sports bar
Kevin
Nostalgia, I guess?
Several confrontations
Temporal insanity
A very specialized course
What happens next
The universe where Dazzler replaced Jean Grey in the original X-Factor
Characters we would like to have seen more of

NEXT EPISODE: Psi-War!

Special thanks to muppets Michal Richardson, Bilal Dardai, and Matt Hunter!

(You can find an mp3 of just the muppet opening in the visual companion.)

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 411 – Tearaway Pants

May 23, 2023 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here.

When you meet a straight couple, you should ask them which is the Nic Cage and which is the John Travolta. (X-Men Unlimited #17)

Fuckssake, Warren. (X-Men Unlimited #17)

Severe costume injuries. (X-Men Unlimited #17)

Logan’s skiing / beat poetry outfit. (X-Men Unlimited #17)

After thirty years, Warren finally gets a gun, I guess. (X-Men Unlimited #17)

SERIOUSLY, HOW DO THEY RECOGNIZE IT?! (X-Men Unlimited #17)

Much like Gambit, I hallucinate a team of X-Men insulting me at all times. (X-Men Unlimited #18)

Hydro-Man. He sure is. (X-Men Unlimited #18)

Jean Grey advocates for change. (X-Men Unlimited #18)

Aw. (X-Men Unlimited #18)

See, they body-swapped because of carpet static and… y’know what? Just watch Gravity Falls. You won’t regret it.

NEXT EPISODE: Back to the core!

411 – Tearaway Pants

May 21, 2023 Jay 6 comments

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In which we actually kind of like a Sabretooth story; we’re not asking for viscera, here; all pants on Earth-616 are tearaway pants; we’d like to see more Wolverine stories about bodily autonomy; Gambit’s hallucinations have hallucinations; and there are probably too many X-books.

X-PLAINED:

Punch-clock villains
Hydro-Man’s secret weakness
411
‘90s fashion
X-Men Unlimited #17-18
X-Men Unlimited vs. annuals
A difficult casting decision
Forge’s neutralizer gun
Costume injuries
Color symbolism? Kinda? I guess?
Mrs. Hoo
Saberine & Wolvertooth
Warren Kenneth Worthington III vs. shirts
How to dress for Earth-616
Hot buttered whatever
Boob foliage
Clones
Very tenacious blood stains
The return of the Angry Claremontean Narrator
Lots of hallucinations
Oscar the Fixer
Hydro-Man
Redemption, symbolic and otherwise
The evolution of Magneto’s name
Our ideal X-line

NEXT EPISODE: Back to the core!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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