Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: fashion

As Mentioned in Episode 277 – Hedgehogs of Cairo

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Sauron has hella abs… (X-Men Unlimited #6)
…and apparently a come-hither gaze? (X-Men Unlimited #6)
Sauron’s backstory is a wild ride even by Silver Age standards. (X-Men Unlimited #6)
“Also, I get three mana of any color.” (X-Men Unlimited #6)
That’s our Sauron! (X-Men Unlimited #6)
Karl Lykos is a cheerful guy. (X-Men Unlimited #6)
They say it’s the smell, but I bet the other pterosaurs are actually judging him for his jorts. (X-Men Unlimited #6)
Meanwhile in Cairo… (X-Men Unlimited #7)
It really doesn’t seem like Candra should be able to bend her arms and legs. (X-Men Unlimited #7)
Truly, a fancy beard. (X-Men Unlimited #7)
Urchins: 1, Gambit: 0. (X-Men Unlimited #7)
Later, this kid will be retconned to have been imaginary. Don’t think too hard about it. (X-Men Unlimited #7)
STEALTH! (X-Men Unlimited #7)
X-Men vs. Urchins. (X-Men Unlimited #7)
Seriously, Candra, Storm will stab you in a sewer and not even care. (X-Men Unlimited #7)
NEXT EPISODE: Sex?

LINKS & FURTHER DINOSAURS

277 – Hedgehogs of Cairo

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Sauron is a huge nerd; the Savage Land is where Marvel stores the weird stuff; an etymology detour does not come from the X-Pert you’d expect; and Storm will straight-up stab you.

X-PLAINED:

  • Responsible weapon storage
  • X-Men Unlimited #6-7
  • A very large creative team
  • Sauron (more) (again)
  • Blood-derived powers
  • The Mutates
  • A pterosaur glow-up
  • Achmed El-Gibar
  • Street urchins (and the etymology thereof)
  • How to get a t’ieve mentor
  • Style vs. taste
  • The proportional relationship between knife skills and leadership potential
  • Tattoos vs. healing factors

NEXT EPISODE: Sex?

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 276 – Wizard Problems

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I’m still kind of angry that this isn’t the interior art style. (Excalibur #83)
But are there roller skates? (Excalibur #83)
Still creepy; still cool. (Excalibur #83)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #83)
There’s something very Philip Bond about this pair of panels; and I, for one, am here for it. (Excalibur #83)
Ew. (Excalibur #83)
Evil Kitty’s hair is SO GREAT. (Excalibur #84)
Seriously. So. Excellent. (Excalibur #84)
Is it, though? (Excalibur #84)
Purple on purple. (Excalibur #84)
“Magic, subtext, whatever.” (Excalibur #84)
Choices, choices. (Excalibur #84)
It’s like when a character has been written out of a show but the actor’s contract isn’t up so they have to keep doing flashbacks. (Excalibur #85)
Starring Eliot Spencer as Wolverine. (Excalibur #85)
That’s just… not true. Like, at all. (Excalibur #85)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (Excalibur #85)
Next Episode: Jorts Unlimited!

LINKS & FURTHER DIVERSIONS:

276 – Wizard Problems

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Excalibur gets a regular writer again; we judge a book against against its covers; nothing good ever comes from being sexy on Muir Isle; and the soul sword’s real power is cutting through continuity.

X-PLAINED:

  • Stegron
  • Dinosaur powers
  • Excalibur #83-85 (The Soul Sword Trilogy)
  • Warren Ellis on Excalibur
  • Excalibur (more) (again)
  • Bends Sinister and Bend Sinister
  • Outsider days
  • Mail
  • Boundaries
  • Darkoth
  • Gravemoss
  • The Winding Way
  • Shrill
  • A problematic prosthesis
  • Roger Corman’s The Raven
  • A large number of continuity errors
  • Gratuitous dickery
  • An untold tale
  • The semantics of skin removal
  • Possession vs. retrograde amnesia
  • The circle of nostalgia

NEXT EPISODE: Jorts Unlimited!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 265 – Rude Awakenings

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Is anyone else weirded out by the fact that that’s supposed to be Forge in the lower right-hand corner? (X-Men Annual #5)
The Shi’ar sext WEIRD. (X-Men Annual #5)
Professor X was definitely naked, right? (X-Men Annual #5)
The weirdest thing about this panel is that the tractor beam seems to have shrunk her shirt by about half. (X-Men Annual #5)
Professor X X-Plains human-Shi’ar relations. (X-Men Annual #5)
FASHION! (X-Men Annual #5)
Imagine how confusing it must be to run into Jubilee on alien planets. (X-Men Annual #5)
I DID NOT NOTICE THE HANGING TEDDY BEAR UNTIL I CLIPPED THE PANEL FOR THIS VISUAL COMPANION. (X-Men Annual #5)
He’s a hugger. (X-Men Annual #5)
Be fair, Gambit: there are a LOT of reasons Cyclops is never fun at parties. (X-Men #34)
BUT WHO IS LURKING IN THE FOREGROUND? (X-Men #34)
Sinister, moisturize your damn clones. (X-Men #34)
Oh, hey, Threnody! (X-Men #34)
‘Kay. (X-Men #34)
Ewwwwwwww. (X-Men #34)
Please bear in mind that these are costumes S.H.I.E.L.D. just happened to have lying around the Helicarrier. (X-Men #35)
“Also, do you know how hard it was to dress you in skintight neoprene while you were unconscious?” (X-Men #35)
The end of the world looks pretty rad. (X-Men #35)
Some artists definitely made some choices. (X-Men #35)
That’s our Cyclops. (X-Men #35)
Some of the layouts in this issue are really nice. (X-Men #35)
Sunset Grace X-Plains Sunset Grace (and marries Ronald Reagan). (X-Men #35)
Ouch. (X-Men #35)
NEXT EPISODE: Malice!

FURTHER LISTENING

265 – Rude Awakenings

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Glen Danzig was the most popular Wolverine fancast for a weirdly long time; breasts have physical mass; the Shi’ar empire is not your friend; Deathbird should not be left in charge of anything alive; Jubilee learns about privilege; Sinister is not subtle; plasma is the new magnetism; Scott and Jean return from the future; and Nick Fury probably sews his name into the waistband of all his underpants.

X-PLAINED:

  • Some guy from Earth-1610
  • X-Men: Unlimited #5
  • X-Men #34-35
  • Shi’ar sexting
  • A rude awakening (literal)
  • Rococo Stryfe
  • Some uncomfortable fashion choices
  • X-pajamas
  • Definitely nude Charles Xavier
  • Breasts
  • Shi’ar imperial bullshit
  • A very impressive headdress
  • Reality TV… in space!
  • A rude awakening (metaphorical)
  • Shi’ar childhood
  • Negotiation
  • A total dick move
  • Another total dick move
  • Beast’s brief tenure as field leader of the X-Men
  • The return of Threnody
  • The titles of several sex tapes
  • High-tech spelunking
  • Sinister’s secret DNA library
  • Controversial outfits
  • Nick Fury’s stuff
  • Sunset Grace
  • The racism inherent to Evan Sabahnur’s background
  • A question we’ve answered before and will probably answer again

NEXT EPISODE: Malice!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 252 – Snakes on a Trolley

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
TBH, this candle situation was basically how Jay decorated his room in the ’90s, too. (X-Factor #97)
“Also, the hand of orbital lasers.” (X-Factor #97)
I love this panel so much. (X-Factor #97)
SERIOUSLY THOUGH SHE HAS ORBITAL LASERS (X-Factor #97)
Spoiler: both of these dudes spend this arc being nonstop awful. (X-Factor #97)
“Antici– (X-Factor #98)
–pation!” (X-Factor #98)
Meanwhile, in a nearby Ralph Bakshi movie. (X-Factor #98)
Aw, Jamie. (X-Factor #98)
Haven’s real superpower is her AMAZING HAIR. (X-Factor #98)
Forge, fuck off. Lorna is literally the only competent member of X-Factor, including you. (X-Factor #99)
The snake shoes, in all their structurally questionable glory! (X-Factor #99)
Aw, Rahne. (X-Factor #99)
Aw, Rahne! (X-Factor #99)
I feel vaguely that I should be making a “what does G-d need with a starship” joke here, but frankly, Star Trek V doesn’t deserve the nod. (X-Factor #100)
Don’t tell them that. Never tell them that. (X-Factor #100)
You see what I mean about the captions, though, right? (X-Factor #100)
This is basically Jay’s morning routine. (X-Factor #100)
Aw, Jamie. (X-Factor #100)
It’s okay; he’ll be back eventually, mostly, probably. (X-Factor #100)
And now, an out-of-context infomercial-style tag! (X-Factor #100)
NEXT EPISODE: Haven’t we been here before?

LINKS & FURTHER MODES OF TRANSPORTATION

 

 

 

 

252 – Snakes on a Trolley

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Miles invokes Freddie Mercury; Polaris is more competent than the rest of X-Factor put together; Armageddon theology does not intersect well with superpowers (or politics, or anything else); Val joins a cult (kind of); Random joins the team (kind of); Haven is a surprisingly nonviolent mass-murderer; Havok is confused by women; and good guys don’t have orbital lasers.

X-PLAINED:

  • Hope across the multiverse
  • X-Factor #97-100
  • Haven (Radha Dastoor)
  • Man, Mutant, and the New Humanity
  • A very fashionable outfit
  • One of the greatest Marvel art submissions of all time
  • Trinket the cat
  • Catalogs
  • A dramatic entrance
  • Mahapralaya (kind of)
  • Jamie Madrox vs. Jamie Madrox vs. the Legacy Virus
  • The Trolley Problem
  • Possession
  • Orbital lasers as a metric of morality
  • Monsoon (Aloba Dastoor)
  • The apparent death of Jamie Madrox
  • Our favorite takes on the Phoenix
  • Who our X-Universe counterparts should be

NEXT EPISODE: A very short engagement!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

HAPPY PRIDE! This month, we’re donating all of the proceeds from our TeePublic shop to Trans Lifeline!

As Mentioned in Episode 244 – Terminal Nudity

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
You can tell he’s evil because he’s the only assassin who… wears black? (Gambit #1)
“And how is your mustache?!” (Gambit #1)
Wolverine is basically the Mary Worth of the X-Men. (Gambit #1)
…Okay, yeah, I get why he’s kind of cool. (Gambit #1)
You can tell the captions are serious business because of the fake torn edges. (Gambit #1)
It seems weird that the first thing he did was throw his coat over her. That’s weird, right? (Gambit #2)
Maybe the accents skip a generation. (Gambit #2)
They have fun. (Gambit #2)
The Tithe Collector knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men! (Gambit #2)
No, seriously, look at this Shadow-looking dude. (Gambit #2)
Fashion! (Gambit #3)
Well played. (Gambit #3)
I just really love that he changes into THIS for infiltration. (Gambit #3)
Candra got over pants centuries ago. (Gambit #3)
It’s cool that she survives and everything; but, ew. (Gambit #4)
Remy “John Constantine” LeBeau. (Gambit #3)
NEXT EPISODE: Rogue’s turn!

LINKS & FURTHER DRAMA:

  • Jay is writing a thing that may be relevant to your interests in the intersection of Marvel and audio.
  • We first encountered the T’ieves’ Guild in Episode 194 – Brood Trouble in the Big Easy.
  • Go watch Intacto; it’s brilliant.
  • The Thief of Always is basically Clive Barker in Ray Bradbury drag. It’s not going to blow your mind; but it’s a fun read.
  • As a gloomy ’90s teen, Jay was of course very into The Crow; which holds up surprisingly well. It can’t rain all the time!

 

244 – Terminal Nudity

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which X-Men don’t get to take vacations; Jay makes a somewhat belated announcement; sometimes Gambit is legitimately pretty cool; the assassins get a day-glo-up; The Crow holds up surprisingly well; Gambit gets exiled again; and Artie and Leech damn well better get to live happily ever after.

X-PLAINED:

  • Rogue and Gambit’s honeymoon
  • A thing that Jay is working on
  • Brood Trouble in the Big Easy
  • Bella Donna Boudreaux
  • Gambit #1-4
  • The New Orleans trilogy
  • “X-Ternally Yours”
  • The tithe collector
  • Things about which your mama may or may not have warned you
  • Dramatic captions
  • Candra
  • The Thieves’ and Assassins’ Guilds
  • The pact
  • Julian Boudreaux (again)
  • Henri LeBeau and his mustache
  • Critical nudity
  • Terminal nudity
  • Marius Boudreaux
  • Accent inconsistencies
  • Draping
  • Jean Luc LeBeau
  • Treachery most foul
  • (Select elements of) Gamit’s origin story
  • How thieves get kids
  • Gambit as a romantic hero
  • Ungrateful children of the Marvel Universe
  • Petite Chou
  • Clubbing with Gambit
  • Subtlety (for some value of the term)
  • Lifestyles of the rich and immortal
  • The Church of Lost Thieves
  • The Elixir of Life
  • An undersold side effect
  • A very lucky break
  • Artie and Leech’s probable adult lives
  • Villains we’d like to see on the X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Rogue!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!