Fantastic Four – Page 2 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 351 – His Mighty Hand

October 31, 2021 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

At least his astral form also works out. (Uncanny X-Men #336)

The size difference is endlessly amusing. (Uncanny X-Men #336)

You done good, Gambit. (Uncanny X-Men #336)

For those of you who collect reaction images. (Uncanny X-Men #336)

Seriously–PERFECT CYLINDER. (Uncanny X-Men #336)

It always seems weird to me that when Cable’s arm is like that it doesn’t seem to cause any mobility or balance issues. (Cable #35)

They’ll team up, but, damnit, they won’t enjoy it. (Cable #35)

Meanwhile at your neighborhood roller rink… (Cable #35)

He’s like a tiny pet Franklin getting walked around Manhattan! (Cable #35)

SO THERE, ONSLAUGHT. (Cable #35)

That throne is so creepy and gross and awesome. (X-Man #19)

Remember the Age of Apocalypse? Nate does! (X-Man #19)

Aw, kiddo. (X-Factor #58)

They’re all very neatly arranged, at least. (X-Factor #58)

Tabitha really needs some healthier coping mechanisms. (X-Factor #58)

AW, KIDDO. (X-Factor #58)

Please google “highland cattle” immediately and join me in giggling. (X-Factor #58)

Smelling the vegetation… and possibly hiding a pot of gold. (X-Factor #58)

Domino’s fantasies do not allow for teenage intrusion, TYVM. (X-Factor #58)

NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, still, obviously.

351 – His Mighty Hand

October 31, 2021 Jay 7 comments

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In which we enter Phase 2 of Onslaught; Cable is a man of many purposes; Onslaught gets a makeover; Intentions only matter if you’re Longshot; and Sue Richards will pull over this crossover event right now if you don’t behave.

X-PLAINED:

Red Onslaught
Onslaught Phase 1
Uncanny X-Men #336
Cable #35
X-Man #19
X-Force #58
A large number of team-ups
Onslaught, but make it a seder
Watcher undercarriage
Onslaught’s second form
Cable and Apocalypse vs. Onslaught
Nate Grey vs. Sinister
A trap
Several flashbacks and fantasies
Symbolic roles within X-Force
What Banshee’s sonic scream sounds like
Pecs as envisioned by Franklin Richards

NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, of course.

Check out the visual companion to this post on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 350 – The Xavier Protocols

October 24, 2021 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Variant cover by Dylan Meconis!

Extra collectible sketch cover! You can download your own in PDF format here.

It’s always fun to see how teams look in other books. (Excalibur #100)

First version of the armor. Don’t get too attached. (Excalibur #100)

In all fairness, decapitation would kill most people. (Excalibur #100)

Does he seriously do this for EVERY mutant? Or just X-Men? Or–? (Excalibur #100)

Meanwhile in a circus in Franklin Richards’s head… (Fantastic Four #415)

I’ll admit: They look remarkably cool.

You don’t say, Reed. (Fantastic Four #415)

THE EYEBROWS OF TRUTH! (Fantastic Four #415)

What a good rug. (Fantastic Four #415)

This is among the weirder meta-product placement I’ve seen. (Fantastic Four #415)

There’s… a lot going on on that cover. (X-Factor #125)

Everything but the skateboard. (X-Factor #125)

Somewhere, one is experimentally gnawing on Hearst Tower. (X-Men #55)

How you can tell it’s a Really Big Event. (X-Men #55)

IT’S REALLY NOT THE TIME, BOBBY. (X-Men #55)

I don’t know why, but Onslaught’s pose in this panel cracks me the hell up. (X-Men #55)

That is… somewhat different from its previous appearance. (X-Men #55)

That certainly is an ebon citadel! (X-Men #55)

That’s quite a look, Onslaught of the Future! (X-Men #55)

NEXT EPISODE: Yep, more Onslaught.

LINKS & FURTHER CHOICES

Caps for Sale is a real and delightful book!
“Magneto’s Cape” is based on “Lily’s Eyes” from the excellent Secret Garden musical.

350 – The Xavier Protocols

October 24, 2021 Jay 36 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Variant cover by Dylan Meconis!

And a real, live, downloadable sketch variant!

In which we celebrate a milestone with a special collectible episode; there may already be a Charles Xavier in your basement; Onslaught lacks subtlety; Bill Watterson may or may not have changed his licensing policy on Earth-616; guns should not have hair; and Jay once again exercises his questionable lyrical skills.

X-PLAINED:

Excalibur #100
Fantastic Four #415
X-Factor #125
X-Men #55
Onslaught (more) (again)
The Xavier Protocols
The many secret subbasements of Charles Francis Xavier
The Xavier Protocols
An extremely poor file-retrieval system
Onslaught vs. the Fantastic Four
Li’l Charlie
A circus, kind of
Lang disambiguation
Onslaught’s new look
Onslaught vs. several Avengers
An unlicensed rug
The only thing Bill Watterson loves
Metaphorical Turkish delight
The Brand Corporation (more) (again)
Dark Descendents
Hairy guns
Caps for Sale
A really big fight
A very dramatic EMP
Why Onslaught looks like that

NEXT EPISODE: Yep, more Onslaught!

“Magneto’s Cape” lyrics by Jay Edidin, with apologies to Marsha Norman. Performed by Steve Pence and Adam Faruqi and produced by Adam Faruqi.

CORRECTION: There are only three variant covers to this episode, not four; Jen Vaughn had to bow out due to other commitments.

Check out the visual companion to this post on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

152 – Ghosts of Future Present

March 27, 2017 Jay 58 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

In which Franklin Richards makes everything more complicated; Reed Richards is a terrible parent; Days of Future Present is a surprisingly good ghost story; Valeria Richards is awesome (but does not appear in this crossover); everyone’s got hounds these days; Banshee is your sad cyborg dad; Phoenix has a lot of feelings; and X-Factor once again manages to up the ante for child endangerment.

X-PLAINED:

Nightcrawler’s brief clerical career
Days of Future Present
Annuals, in general
Some extraordinarily specific Namor headcanon
Fantastic Four Annual #23
New Mutants Annual #6
X-Factor Annual #5
Uncanny X-Men Annual #14
Franklin Richards
Several statuses quo
The reproductive potential of Doombots
Ms. Marvel (Sharon Ventura)
Ahab
A Code Red Time Emergency
One of Jay’s dream pitches
Your sad cyborg dad
The worst tea party
One hell of a kiss
Robocop vs. Terminator

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur gets eclectic!

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 110 – Lights, Camera, Apocalypse!

May 22, 2016 Jay 7 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

We saw X-Men in the middle of a road trip the summer after our senior year of high school. Terrible vacation; fun movie.

X2: X-Men United is a very loose adaptation of one of our favorite X-Men stories: the Marvel Graphic Novel God Loves, Man Kills.

The less said about X-Men: The Last Stand, the better.

Jay can’t look at this X-Men: First Class poster without thinking of the Buckaroo Banzai end credits. It’s a blessing and a curse.

X-Men: Days of Future Past is one of the more ambitious retcons ever to grace the big screen.

X-Men: Apocalypse opens in the U.S. on May 27; and everywhere else at some point in the surrounding weeks.

Apocalypse’s on-panel debut… (X-Factor #5)

…and the first time we saw his signature costume. (X-Factor #6)

“Let’s adopt him and, I dunno, feed him scarab blood? Look, man, I’m making this up as I go along.” (Rise of Apocalypse #1)

Apocalypse’s true, diabolical plan, as realized in “The Twelve”: To capture a bunch of mutants and I guess put them in little terrariums? Apocalypse is a complicated guy. (Uncanny X-Men #377)

Apocalypse: Somehow actually more progressive than Doctor Who. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)

The mechanics of Apocalypse’s body–and relative immortality–vary wildly from series to series. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)

In the Age of Apocalypse, Apocalypse takes over Earth ahead of schedule and makes everything super glam. (X-Men: Alpha)

Deadpool may not be an X-Man, but his movie did feature the best version of the X-Men costumes to show up so far on screen.

NEXT WEEK: Excalibur joins Inferno!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

ON THE PODCAST:
- Episode 6 – Days of Future Whatever was our first delve into the X-Men cinematic universe.
- You can learn more about Apocalypse in Episode 64 – Ski Lodge of Apocalypse; and Episode 88 – Just Before Dawn.
- You can hear Paul O’Brien–not Kieran Shiach, as we stated in the episode–explain Kang the Conqueror in Episode 85 – Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts: Complex Continuity.
AT THE MOVIES:
- Jay’s 2014 review of X-Men: Days of Future Past
- Jay’s (spoiler-free) review of X-Men: Apocalypse
- If video’s more your style, we also briefly discussed X-Men: Apocalypse (again, spoiler-free) over here.
EVERYWHERE ELSE:
- Cast Party is an ongoing series where the ever-splendid Elle Collins casts (and recasts) comic-book movies:
- You, too, can own your very own super stylin’ Elle Was Right t-shirt!

110 – Lights, Camera, Apocalypse!

May 22, 2016 Jay 41 comments

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In which the X-Men cinematic universe is a really mixed bag; Kang the Conqueror ruins everything; everyone wants a Sphinx hovercraft; Elle was right; and we bring you up to speed on all things En Sabah Nur–just in time for X-Men: Apocalypse!

X-PLAINED:

How Chamber got his torso back (and then lost it again)(twice)
Several ways to count X-Men movies
X-Men
X2: X-Men United
X-Men: The Last Stand
X-Men: First Class
X-Men: Days of Future Past
Adaptation anxiety
Distillation vs. dilution
Apocalypse (En Sabah Nur)
Rise of Apocalypse #1-4
Akkaba
Dubious survival tips
Fantastic Four #19
Doctor Strange #53
Ozymandias
Various horsemen of Apocalypse
Age of Apocalypse (Earth-295)
The Twelve
Cinematic X-costumes
Cast Party

NEXT WEEK: Excalibur joins Inferno!

CORRECTION: In this episode, Jay states that Kieran Shiach explained Kang in the Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts. It was, in fact, the amazing Paul O’Brien. Mea culpa.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 88 – …Just Before Dawn

December 21, 2015 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

You never forget your first ship. (X-Factor #24)

“I mean, if those ridiculous spring arms aren’t evil, I don’t know what is.” (X-Factor #24)

Vannapocalypse White. (X-Factor #24)

This and the following seven panels are the bottoms of eight pages of X-Factor #24, running parallel to the bulk of the action taking place above.

(X-Factor #24)

And then, Caliban joins the rest of the cast. (X-Factor #24)

Okay, this looks bad. (X-Factor #24)

Recognizable presidents are few and far between in comics. (X-Factor #25)

Remember that time Power Pack straight-up killed an old lady? Because that DEFINITELY HAPPENS in this issue. (X-Factor #25)

As a former student of Charles Xavier, Iceman knows that the most expedient solution to any crisis is to fake his own death. (X-Factor #25)

Well, that was cathartic. (X-Factor #25)

Look at those sharp new costumes! (X-Factor #26)

Aw, Hank. (X-Factor #26)

ABOUT DAMN TIME. (X-Factor #26)

AND THEN! (X-Factor #26)

NEXT WEEK: Giant-Size Winter Special #2!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING:

Teen Titans Wasteland is amazing, and you should listen to it right now.
Learn more about the Emu War in Interesting Times!

88 – …Just Before Dawn (Fall of the Mutants, Part 3 of 3)

December 21, 2015 Jay 28 comments

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In which X-Factor finally comes out ahead; Jay and Miles weigh in on the X-Men: Apocalypse trailer; En Sabah Nur is better at theater than tactics; no one does scale like Simonson; Iceman pulls an Xavier; Cyclops and Marvel Girl totally do it; and we conclude our three-part coverage of Fall of the Mutants.

X-PLAINED:

A potential (but unlikely) vector for resurrecting Cyclops-616
Events vs. crossovers
Our thoughts on the X-Men: Apocalypse trailer
X-Factor #24-26
Power Pack #35
Incredible Hulk #340
Captain America #339
Fantastic Four #312
Daredevil #252
Newsletters of Apocalypse
Some deeply dubious immunology
The fall of Caliban
Sense of scale
The kiss we’ve been waiting for
Teen Titans Wasteland
A recognizable ruse
A thematically significant crash landing
Some long-awaited resolution
How to judge an original-5 book
Sweatsuits of Apocalypse
The iconic X-Factor costumes
Fall of the Mutants tie-ins
Emus
The best-dressed X-Men

NEXT WEEK: GIANT-SIZE WINTER SPECIAL #2!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 67 – Shadow of the Technarch

July 27, 2015 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/2/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

And that’s why you always leave a note. (New Mutants #47)

This jerk. (New Mutants #47)

Meet Sad Darin Morgan Magneto. Next issue, he’ll be bathing his corgi. (New Mutants #47)

For the record: We ran this page by Jamie from the British History Podcast, and he says Robert the Bruce’s outfit is super bullshit (but he said it more eloquently). (New Mutants #47)