Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Fabian Cortez

As Mentioned in Episode 479 – Nancy Drew and the Secret of Carrion Cove

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Jay’s not wrong that the buildings look like giant dildos… but at least they look like fancy dildos! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)
Starring: a bunch of fashionable jerks, mostly! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)
Not a good look when your cops look just like the cops who used to oppress you… (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)
Magneto: Master of Magnetism and Monologues! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)
okay but what about the chest-skull (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)
That floaty platform has a heated floor, blind spot monitoring, and built-in GPS. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)
For all your chat reaction needs! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)
These here comical books are lookin’ pretty comical-booky. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)
Magneto talks to… someone! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)
We just like this cover. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)
Everybody fights everybody! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)
In which dust illustrates speed and impact! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)
It’s like the portrait-instead-of-landscape version of widescreen storytelling! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)
Father of the year. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)
To her credit, she does have all the Kirby Krackle. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)
Because Mister Sinister is the hidden force behind literally everything. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)
Rest in Ponytail, Fabian Cortez. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)
“Time to conceive some other on-again, off-again offspring who suck less.” (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)
NEXT TIME: X-Man!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

  • That thing about the cooking show and spreader bars and Namor that Jay was talking about
  • Information and pencils from Chris Claremont and Rick Leonardi’s canceled Phoenix miniseries

479 – Nancy Drew and the Secret of Carrion Cove

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In which Genosha gets better and/or worse; Fabian Cortez is the Secretary of Betrayal; having an action figure of yourself is the path to immortality; and Hammer Bay sounds like a sex toy company.

X-PLAINED:

  • Triathlon
  • The Revolution relaunch and the six-month gap
  • Magneto: Dark Seduction #1-4
  • Erotic skyscrapers
  • Magneto (again) (forever)
  • X-Men Tijuana Bibles
  • The Genoshan Cabinet
  • Dark friendship with benefits
  • Polaris’s newfound interest in heavy metal
  • Magneto’s on-again, off-again children
  • Carrion Cove
  • Coloring symbolism and/or errors
  • Spat and Grovel (kind of)
  • Magneto’s ancestral f**k-ghost
  • Socialism!
  • Magneto’s mysterious mind-voice
  • Neal Conan
  • The Avengers of 2000
  • Kirby Krackle
  • Magneto’s smooth arc into villainy
  • Bonking
  • Human nature
  • Rachel Summers in the Body Shoppe
  • Our (lack of) coverage of solo comics

NEXT EPISODE: X-Man!

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As Mentioned in Episode 472 – Leave Room for Magneto (The Twelve, Part Two)

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Intense emotion, fiddly gadgets, and dramatic narration. What more do you need? (Wolverine #146)
Gravity be damned, Nightcrawler’s going to punch some bricks and stomp some turtles. (Wolverine #146)
Generation Blue, Generation Red. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #211. (Wolverine #146)
Warren Kenneth Worthington III, you give that tiny caveman back his club! (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #170. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #179. (Wolverine #146)
Now that is a fight scene. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #153. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #169. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #148. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #242. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Wolverine #74. (Wolverine #146)
Neat, they’re (psychically) wearing their outfits from that time they were partners in Madripoor! (Wolverine #146)
Angel’s darkness looks like light? You know, that actually makes a lot of sense. (Wolverine #147)
Flechettes! (Wolverine #147)
Referencing… oh, wait, this one actually has a caption. (Wolverine #147)
Poor kid… (Wolverine #147)
United by trauma. (Wolverine #147)
Everyone is just so sharp on this page… (Wolverine #147)
Silhouettes: climax! (Wolverine #147)
Silhouettes: denouement! (Wolverine #147)
“Do I have to call your parents, children?” (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
Heh. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
I wish we saw more of these two together. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
Damaging currency is a federal crime, Wolverine! (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
This page has earned its Kirby Krackle. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
“You see, I have to be extra spooky to even out everyone else’s happiness. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
Like a hairy little astromech droid at a scomp port. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
Science! (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
And they died miserably ever after. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
NEXT TIME: The Twelve concludes!

LINKS & FURTHER FELINES:

472 – Leave Room for Magneto (The Twelve, Part Two)

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In which the Twelve should really be twelve chapters long; Archangel has issues; we continue to bemoan the absence of captions; the X-Men ditch their crossover event for a side quest; Magneto is Genosha’s official chaperone; and we would absolutely elect Emma Frost to a school board.

X-PLAINED:

  • What Cable does next
  • The event so far
  • Wolverine #146-147
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999
  • Whether the Shadow King is moist
  • Why tiny cavemen can’t have nice things
  • Numerous flashbacks and allusions
  • Archangel’s third-stage evolution
  • The Philharmonic Gets Dressed
  • Abraham Kieros (again)
  • Apocalypse as a self-help guru
  • Fully nude Wolverine
  • X-51 #8 (briefly)
  • Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
  • A miracle of magnetism
  • Scomp linking
  • A big fancy machine
  • Exodus (more) (again)
  • Mutants we’d like to see in public office
  • The (theoretical) Essex administration

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve concludes!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 471 – Eyebrows and Powers (The Twelve, Part One)

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Which of our lucky contestants will make it into… The Twelve? (Uncanny X-Men #376)
The exceptionally ripped man he is today. (Uncanny X-Men #376)
Well, it beats breaking up with a text message… maybe? (Uncanny X-Men #376)
The costume so rad Jubilee would remember it existed and start wearing it on the regular years later when she became a vampire! (Uncanny X-Men #376)
…He says that during sex too, doesn’t he? (Uncanny X-Men #376)
Havok-hat versus fez: fight! (Uncanny X-Men #376)
“Why hello up there, Nate and Little Nate!” (Cable #75)
Angry faces! (Cable #75)
Angry faces, continued! (Cable #75)
Not gonna lie, that’s legitimately badass. (Cable #75)
WHO PUT THAT THERE?! (Cable #75)
En Sabah Snake (Cable #75)
Now kiss! (Cable #75)
Survival of the Toothiest (Cable #75)
Black Friday shopping gets worse every year. (X-Men #96)
“…if you know what I mean.” (X-Men #96)
Aww, c’mon, Scott – Fiz is just happy to be here! (X-Men #96)
Say what you will about Apocalypse, but he does design some pretty excellent costumes. (X-Men #96)
I really dig this take on Storm’s cape. (X-Men #96)
Hi Rory! Sorry about your, uh, everything! (X-Men #96)
Dear Alan Davis: please keep drawing Nightcrawler forever. (X-Men #96)
We just love this guy. (X-Men #96)
NEXT TIME: The Twelve continues!

471 – Eyebrows and Powers (The Twelve: Part One)

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Survival of the Toothiest (Cable #75)

In which we begin our coverage of The Twelve; Scott and Jean get sucked back in AGAIN; Apocalypse probably doesn’t tip; and we have become awfully fond of Cable.

X-PLAINED:

  • A codename that deviates from common patterns
  • The story so far
  • Uncanny X-Men #376
  • Cable #75
  • X-Men #96
  • Fiz the Skrull (again)
  • The Twelve
  • Foreshadowing, both accurate and otherwise
  • The Living Monolith (more) (again)
  • That one font
  • Time-travel logic
  • Cable vs. eyes
  • Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
  • A trap
  • Why the Twelve are the Twelve
  • The evolution of Cable

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve continues!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 457 – Stinking at the Moon

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Logan should always be a little funny-lookin’. (X-Men Unlimited #24)
He’s a berserker murder-uncle who can’t remember his past – she’s a grumpy doctor who’d rather be anywhere but here! Together, they’re Logan ‘n’ Cici – Thursdays on NBC! (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Seriously, I’d happily watch them argue about anything. (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Cecilia’s secondary mutation is the rare ability to avoid misunderstanding-based fights by using her words. (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Are you sure you’re not having fun, Dr. Reyes? (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Is he… is he biting the landing gear? (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Cecilia’s tertiary mutation is to not take any of your bullshit. (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Even a typo cannot mar this perfect panel. (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Jeez, Magnus! Put on some underwear over your pants! This is indecent! (X-Men Unlimited #24)
“But if there was, Father, rest assured that I would be an eighteenth-level Ranger.” (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Has he been carrying that plant around just hoping he’d have the chance to work it into a metaphor? (X-Men Unlimited #24)
“Just like I used to separate the people I teleported from their clothes!” (X-Men Unlimited #24)
“Fabian, what have I told you about sitting on my porn throne?” (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Nice to see a 1999 Magneto story remember all the super-nuance of his past. (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Jay’s got a point – how did they get Banshee into that thing? (Generation X #51)
Goodbye, old costumes… (Generation X #51)
…Hello, new costumes! (Generation X #51)
And that was it for Gaia. (Generation X #51)
Skin’s facial expression is the platonic ideal of “YIKES!” (Generation X #51)
I’m actually not sure which villain’s outfit is more surprising. (Generation X #51)
Armor’s powers, five years before Armor! (Generation X #51)
NEXT TIME: Some damned fine X-Force.

457 – Stinking at the Moon

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In which the theme is too many inkers; Cecilia Reyes has no patience for your bullshit; Genosha’s going to be just fine (it’s not); we would watch a supercut of Fabian Cortez getting punched; we bid an abrupt farewell to Gaia; and comics are exhausting, yet captivating.

X-PLAINED:

  • Dazzler’s murder trial
  • X-Men Unlimited #24
  • The past and future of X-Men Unlimited
  • Doctor Cecilia Reyes
  • Ghost Pirate Cap’n Bloodscream
  • Wolverine and friends
  • Pushing your kid out of a plane as a basic first aid skill
  • Banter
  • The Silver Samurai (Keniuchio Harada)
  • Sunfire and the Big Hero Six
  • Projectile-based wordplay
  • Irene Adler, spoiler machine
  • Genosha (again)
  • The Cabinet of Doctor Lensherr
  • Magneto’s panties
  • Stupid metaphors
  • Football stars and their football cars
  • Magneto’s nuanced and baby-filled past
  • Generation X #51
  • Hunter & Tristan Brawn
  • Helicopter grandparents
  • Artie & Leech, perpetual moppets
  • Emma Frost, forever traumatized
  • Generation X’s new costumes
  • Gaia as the Bird Boy of Generation X
  • Peach Momoko’s Ultimate Armor
  • Sauron and the Lizard’s agendas and fashion
  • Comic book collecting preferences

NEXT EPISODE: Some damned fine X-Force.

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Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 452 – Hot Nothing

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That can’t be comfortable. (Magneto Rex #1)
One way to put a fire out. (Magneto Rex #1)
Phillip Moreau and Jenny Ransome. (Magneto Rex #1)
This freakin’ loser. (Magneto Rex #1)
The Zealot. (Magneto Rex #1)
Uncool, dude. (Magneto Rex #1)
Ferris endures. (Magneto Rex #2)
“You may have the Legacy Virus, but the L is still for ‘loser.'” (Magneto Rex #2)
This would have been way more dramatic if he’d been naked, right? (Magneto Rex #2)
That’s certainly one way to deal with your problems. (Magneto Rex #3)
That is in fact exactly what he means. (Magneto Rex #3)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Men ’97!

LINKS & OTHER ACADEMIA:

452 – Hot Nothing

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In which Magneto is not full of mirth; nobody real or fictional likes Fabian Cortez; when you’re a speedster, every problem is a metaphorical nail; The Zealot makes some valid points; and when Quicksilver declares himself your conscience, it’s time to examine your life.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Magneto got his powers back
  • Morally ambiguous hair
  • Genosha (more) (again)
  • Magneto Rex #1-3
  • Magneto vs. Conan
  • Trish Tilby
  • Omniscient narrative condemnation
  • Magneto’s true archfoe
  • Magistrates (more) (again)
  • Mutates (more) (again)
  • Dr. Alda Huxley
  • Phillip Moreau (more) (again)
  • Jenny Ransome (more) (again)
  • Pipeline (Cormac Grimshaw)
  • Teleportational nudity
  • The Zealot
  • Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
  • Amelia Voght (more) (again)
  • Several of Magneto’s on-again-off-again children
  • The Bastille (but not that one)
  • Mutant numbering
  • When to use full frontal nudity in your comic
  • The X-books we’re not covering
  • The Amulet of Right vs the Sword of Might

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men ’97!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!