Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Fabian Cortez

As Mentioned in Episode 471 – Eyebrows and Powers (The Twelve, Part One)

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Which of our lucky contestants will make it into… The Twelve? (Uncanny X-Men #376)
The exceptionally ripped man he is today. (Uncanny X-Men #376)
Well, it beats breaking up with a text message… maybe? (Uncanny X-Men #376)
The costume so rad Jubilee would remember it existed and start wearing it on the regular years later when she became a vampire! (Uncanny X-Men #376)
…He says that during sex too, doesn’t he? (Uncanny X-Men #376)
Havok-hat versus fez: fight! (Uncanny X-Men #376)
“Why hello up there, Nate and Little Nate!” (Cable #75)
Angry faces! (Cable #75)
Angry faces, continued! (Cable #75)
Not gonna lie, that’s legitimately badass. (Cable #75)
WHO PUT THAT THERE?! (Cable #75)
En Sabah Snake (Cable #75)
Now kiss! (Cable #75)
Survival of the Toothiest (Cable #75)
Black Friday shopping gets worse every year. (X-Men #96)
“…if you know what I mean.” (X-Men #96)
Aww, c’mon, Scott – Fiz is just happy to be here! (X-Men #96)
Say what you will about Apocalypse, but he does design some pretty excellent costumes. (X-Men #96)
I really dig this take on Storm’s cape. (X-Men #96)
Hi Rory! Sorry about your, uh, everything! (X-Men #96)
Dear Alan Davis: please keep drawing Nightcrawler forever. (X-Men #96)
We just love this guy. (X-Men #96)
NEXT TIME: The Twelve continues!

471 – Eyebrows and Powers (The Twelve: Part One)

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Survival of the Toothiest (Cable #75)

In which we begin our coverage of The Twelve; Scott and Jean get sucked back in AGAIN; Apocalypse probably doesn’t tip; and we have become awfully fond of Cable.

X-PLAINED:

  • A codename that deviates from common patterns
  • The story so far
  • Uncanny X-Men #376
  • Cable #75
  • X-Men #96
  • Fiz the Skrull (again)
  • The Twelve
  • Foreshadowing, both accurate and otherwise
  • The Living Monolith (more) (again)
  • That one font
  • Time-travel logic
  • Cable vs. eyes
  • Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
  • A trap
  • Why the Twelve are the Twelve
  • The evolution of Cable

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve continues!

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As Mentioned in Episode 457 – Stinking at the Moon

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Logan should always be a little funny-lookin’. (X-Men Unlimited #24)
He’s a berserker murder-uncle who can’t remember his past – she’s a grumpy doctor who’d rather be anywhere but here! Together, they’re Logan ‘n’ Cici – Thursdays on NBC! (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Seriously, I’d happily watch them argue about anything. (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Cecilia’s secondary mutation is the rare ability to avoid misunderstanding-based fights by using her words. (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Are you sure you’re not having fun, Dr. Reyes? (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Is he… is he biting the landing gear? (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Cecilia’s tertiary mutation is to not take any of your bullshit. (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Even a typo cannot mar this perfect panel. (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Jeez, Magnus! Put on some underwear over your pants! This is indecent! (X-Men Unlimited #24)
“But if there was, Father, rest assured that I would be an eighteenth-level Ranger.” (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Has he been carrying that plant around just hoping he’d have the chance to work it into a metaphor? (X-Men Unlimited #24)
“Just like I used to separate the people I teleported from their clothes!” (X-Men Unlimited #24)
“Fabian, what have I told you about sitting on my porn throne?” (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Nice to see a 1999 Magneto story remember all the super-nuance of his past. (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Jay’s got a point – how did they get Banshee into that thing? (Generation X #51)
Goodbye, old costumes… (Generation X #51)
…Hello, new costumes! (Generation X #51)
And that was it for Gaia. (Generation X #51)
Skin’s facial expression is the platonic ideal of “YIKES!” (Generation X #51)
I’m actually not sure which villain’s outfit is more surprising. (Generation X #51)
Armor’s powers, five years before Armor! (Generation X #51)
NEXT TIME: Some damned fine X-Force.

457 – Stinking at the Moon

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In which the theme is too many inkers; Cecilia Reyes has no patience for your bullshit; Genosha’s going to be just fine (it’s not); we would watch a supercut of Fabian Cortez getting punched; we bid an abrupt farewell to Gaia; and comics are exhausting, yet captivating.

X-PLAINED:

  • Dazzler’s murder trial
  • X-Men Unlimited #24
  • The past and future of X-Men Unlimited
  • Doctor Cecilia Reyes
  • Ghost Pirate Cap’n Bloodscream
  • Wolverine and friends
  • Pushing your kid out of a plane as a basic first aid skill
  • Banter
  • The Silver Samurai (Keniuchio Harada)
  • Sunfire and the Big Hero Six
  • Projectile-based wordplay
  • Irene Adler, spoiler machine
  • Genosha (again)
  • The Cabinet of Doctor Lensherr
  • Magneto’s panties
  • Stupid metaphors
  • Football stars and their football cars
  • Magneto’s nuanced and baby-filled past
  • Generation X #51
  • Hunter & Tristan Brawn
  • Helicopter grandparents
  • Artie & Leech, perpetual moppets
  • Emma Frost, forever traumatized
  • Generation X’s new costumes
  • Gaia as the Bird Boy of Generation X
  • Peach Momoko’s Ultimate Armor
  • Sauron and the Lizard’s agendas and fashion
  • Comic book collecting preferences

NEXT EPISODE: Some damned fine X-Force.

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Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 452 – Hot Nothing

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That can’t be comfortable. (Magneto Rex #1)
One way to put a fire out. (Magneto Rex #1)
Phillip Moreau and Jenny Ransome. (Magneto Rex #1)
This freakin’ loser. (Magneto Rex #1)
The Zealot. (Magneto Rex #1)
Uncool, dude. (Magneto Rex #1)
Ferris endures. (Magneto Rex #2)
“You may have the Legacy Virus, but the L is still for ‘loser.'” (Magneto Rex #2)
This would have been way more dramatic if he’d been naked, right? (Magneto Rex #2)
That’s certainly one way to deal with your problems. (Magneto Rex #3)
That is in fact exactly what he means. (Magneto Rex #3)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Men ’97!

LINKS & OTHER ACADEMIA:

452 – Hot Nothing

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In which Magneto is not full of mirth; nobody real or fictional likes Fabian Cortez; when you’re a speedster, every problem is a metaphorical nail; The Zealot makes some valid points; and when Quicksilver declares himself your conscience, it’s time to examine your life.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Magneto got his powers back
  • Morally ambiguous hair
  • Genosha (more) (again)
  • Magneto Rex #1-3
  • Magneto vs. Conan
  • Trish Tilby
  • Omniscient narrative condemnation
  • Magneto’s true archfoe
  • Magistrates (more) (again)
  • Mutates (more) (again)
  • Dr. Alda Huxley
  • Phillip Moreau (more) (again)
  • Jenny Ransome (more) (again)
  • Pipeline (Cormac Grimshaw)
  • Teleportational nudity
  • The Zealot
  • Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
  • Amelia Voght (more) (again)
  • Several of Magneto’s on-again-off-again children
  • The Bastille (but not that one)
  • Mutant numbering
  • When to use full frontal nudity in your comic
  • The X-books we’re not covering
  • The Amulet of Right vs the Sword of Might

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men ’97!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 445 – Dick War

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This cover, man. (X-Men: The Magneto War #1)
Rogue’s dream bikini. (X-Men: The Magneto War #1)
His powers are just icky. (X-Men: The Magneto War #1)
Please enjoy Nightcrawler’s adorable pajamas. (X-Men: The Magneto War #1)
That’s… that’s not Trish Tilby. (Uncanny X-Men #366)
…what… (Uncanny X-Men #366)
Magneto knows from villainous lairs. (Uncanny X-Men #366)
Ferris is a cutie. (Uncanny X-Men #366)
NEXT EPISODE: Magneto wins.

LINKS & FURTHER ADVICE

 

445 – Dick War

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In which not every story needs to be an event; Alan Davis returns to the X-line; X-mansion security is not what it once was; Rogue needs some new fantasies; and Magneto wants a country.

X-PLAINED:

  • A poor governance decision
  • X-Men: The Magneto War #1
  • Uncanny X-Men #366
  • Astral demerits
  • A very dramatic dream
  • The yolk of oppression
  • Several Acolytes
  • Nightcrawler’s nightcap
  • Our standards for advertisers
  • Suburban Magneto
  • Ferris
  • Magnet problems
  • Forged DNA
  • Mutants from Georgia, Florida, and Indiana
  • Flying with Storm

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto wins.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 372 – Monty Python’s Life of Magnus

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Steven Tyler vs Mick Jagger? (Magneto #1)
Home security has come a long way since 1996. (Magneto #1)
Sometimes the art crosses the line from iffy to weirdly awesome. (Magneto #1)
The sparkles are a nice touch, Fabian. (Magneto #1)
He’s the messiah! (Magneto #1)
Where… where’d your hair go, man? (Magneto #1)
“Behold my logo font!” (Magneto #2)
Fabian, what did that bird ever do to you?! (Magneto #2)
Meanwhile, in the space-opera version of this story… (Magneto #2)
Kelley Jones really nails the moments of Joseph’s Magneto-facade slipping. (Magneto #2)
PLOP (Magneto #2)
I mean, those birds have ample reason to have misgivings themselves. Fabian Cortez could be anywhere! (Magneto #2)
This was pre-Lyft, see. (Magneto #2)
…magnetism..? (Magneto #3)
So say we all. (Magneto #3)
If Fabian Cortez had a mustache, he’d be twirling it right now. (Magneto #3)
AAAAAAAHHHHHHH (Magneto #3)
Only the real Magneto could maniacally cackle at an angle that dramatic! (Magneto #4)
Because it’s about time someone did. (Magneto #4)
Broadcast Standards & Practices salutes you, Joseph. (Magneto #4)
“…for twenty-three days or so…” (Magneto #4)
NEXT TIME: Mystique vs. politicians-being-alive, round 2. Sorta.

372 – Monty Python’s Life of Magnus

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the first Magneto miniseries is actually a Joseph miniseries; Magneto lost a lot of nuance in the ‘90s; Fabian Cortez is friend to neither man nor bird; Joseph finds his inner supervillain; Marvel’s United Nations is unusually heavily armed; and bears are much cooler than guns.

X-PLAINED:

  • Magneto (again)
  • The Acolytes (again)
  • Joseph (again)
  • Magneto #1-4
  • Amelia Voght (again)
  • Religious statuary
  • Razors
  • New Avalon
  • Magneto’s voice
  • How not to make a point
  • Armstrong
  • A Trask who may or may not be Simon
  • Weird torture
  • Peonies
  • A big, silly fight
  • Happy X-Men comics featuring Wolverine
  • The many nexuses of reality

NEXT EPISODE: Assassination!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!